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Thread: Queer & Pregnant & Parenting - July, August, September, and now October! Reply to Thread
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  Topic Review (Newest First)
11-01-2012 06:25 AM
KnittingTigers

Alright, y'all, we've got our new thread:

 

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1366994/queer-pregnant-and-parenting-november-december-and-january-2013

 

Come on over and let's rock late fall pregnancy, parenting, and queerness!
 

10-30-2012 02:41 PM
easttowest

Planet and Desert, what amazing babies!  Adorable.

 

We had a follow-up ultrasound yesterday, and the little heartbeat is thumping away.  Measured 6w4d, even though he was 5w6d on Friday!  DW also got 15 vials of blood taken, so that sucked, and I have no idea what all the tests are for, but I'm glad that they'll be making sure everything is going well.  We're traveling back east to see her family next week, and we'll be telling them then!

 

I hope everyone on the East Coast is doing alright and staying dry.

10-29-2012 06:57 PM
DesertSunsets

Oh Planet, he's just gorgeous!  I really hope you can get some sleep, and for longer than just a couple hours.  Hugs to you and your beautiful little family.  <3 

10-29-2012 06:17 PM
planet

And a couple more:

 

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10-29-2012 06:10 PM
planet

KnittingTigers, thanks for the suggestion and the hugs!  Someone lent me that book, but i never did get around to opening it before Wylie was born.  i'll have to check it out and see if the CD is still in it!

 

Seraf, thank you.  I'm so glad I'm not the only one to go through this!  I agree that things are just as they should be.  Wylie's fussy evening period seems to have lessened - of course it's hard to tell at this point because every day is a little different. He is basically sleeping through the night.  He is perfect.  I am the one with the problem right now! 

 

Wishin, thank you for sharing your experiences!  And I'm sorry you went through this too, UGH!!! 

 

I picked up some GABA that my ND recommended and feel hopeful about tonight.  Oh, life.  Here are some photos of our amazing Wylie Blue!

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10-29-2012 12:03 PM
wishin'&hopin'

Planet--I've had some CRAZY insomnia since DS's birth, most of the time it was clearly related to hormonal shifts.  So the following things resulted in insomnia for me: postpartum hormonal drops; nursing changes (DS nursing more, OR less); and AF's return at 18 months postpartum (4 months after night weaning).  I did find that the more stressed I got about it, the worse it would get.  I did end up getting Ambien for a bit (once DS was sleeping through the night so I didn't have to do pump and dump or worry about him getting any through breast milk), but since Ambien only helps with falling asleep it didn't help with middle of the night wake ups.  One of the "tricks" I've found works is to change my sleep space--so if I get up and feel like falling asleep again will be challenging, I go to our guest room bed.  We also avoid screens before bed and try to have good "sleep hygiene" so bed for sex and sleep only (nursing too when that was going on) which is a bummer b/c I used to love reading in bed.  Good luck, insomnia SUCKS.  

 

Knitting--thanks for assuming the thread keeper role--and I'm glad the pukies have let up some!  And, in response to your question...we haven't gone FB public yet and we won't until very late in the game (maybe 30+ weeks).  Mostly b/c we have too many friends who are trying and haven't gotten pregnant yet (I friend just had a failed third round of IVF :(  DW is feeling pretty good and told her team at work today...her management has known for awhile b/c they also knew about TTC b/c they needed to be able to schedule stuff for her at work.  DW is showing and definitely in maternity clothing--the only downside to switching so far (who carries our kids) is that we are such different clothing sizes that she has to get a whole new set of maternity clothing b/c my stuff won't fit her!  

10-29-2012 07:59 AM
seraf Desert, beautiful. I especially like the one where she is looking righy at the camera.

Planet, sorry, yes. I was awake a lot more than Shay in the beginning. I didn't really feel tired during the day, either. I think there's something hormonal at play. It does wear off and I think he started waking more and I started feeling tired but sleeping better at night around 4 months. Just as another thought, I recently heard on NPR that pre-electricity when people went to bed earlier it was common to be awake for a couple of hours in the middle of the night. Now that people stay up later, we put a greater emphasis on getting enough sleep all on a row and are stressed by benign night wakings. Anyway, sorry to be of so little help, again. Was it you who said he is fussy around 7? When Shay was like that, we had the best results with taking him to bed at 6 or so. We stayed up and played cards or watched movies, but he was much more content sleeping in the bedroom after dark. Even if we wore him and nursed, he fussed a lot more in any other room in the house (or if we left him alone before 10, after 10 we could ride elephants through the house and the boy stayed down). Good luck. Lol, I am firmly of the opinion that babies come pre-programmed. We can try to change them but its like trying to make a dog meow. I mean, yes, there are certain areas where I will put effort into modifying their behavior but most stages I just breath deep, secure in the knowledge that things are as they should be. I hope some of that peace finds you.
10-29-2012 06:50 AM
KnittingTigers

Planet,

 

Did you do Hypnobirthing with Wylie? The relaxation cd for the course reliably put me to sleep even after Ocean was born. I'm sorry you're feeling so badly. Not being able to sleep when you need to is THE WORST. Hugs to you.

10-29-2012 06:46 AM
planet

Starling, I am so sorry for your loss.  Sending lots of love your way. xoxoxo

 

Easttowest, glad you got reassuring news!  Hang in there.

 

Desert, as always, your photos are just gorgeous.  You guys are such a beautiful family.  What a lucky baby to have so much love!

 

KnittingTigers, I'm glad the nausea has died down some.  And I hope you get a chance to just REST sometime soon!

 

AFM, speaking of rest...or lack thereof.  Wylie is sleeping amazingly through the night (sleeping on top of my partner, but that's a different story)!  BUT, to my great misery, I have begun to experience some pretty intense insomnia.  They are both asleep, I have the perfect opportunity to snooze, and instead I am just lying awake.  During the day I am so blissed out and do not feel anxious.  At night when I can't sleep, my heart races, and my dread of not being able to sleep only makes it worse and worse.  The last three nights, when it is bedtime (9:30ish) I just pass out right away.  But after Wylie's first nursing session of the night, usually around 1:30ish, I just can't go back to sleep!  I feel so exhausted and miserable when it is happening.  During the day I am able to smile it off and breathe through the exhaustion to be present for Wylie.  I am blessed to have lots of great friends coming around, visiting, helping out, etc. and fun activities to keep us busy like mama and baby yoga and a "first weeks" group for new parents.  But I know this could become a really bad problem if I can't figure something out soon!  Last night I tried Calms Forte, which my acupuncturist recommended awhile back - it did nothing.  Later today Wylie and I are both getting a craniosacral treatment and I am hoping that will help my body adjust to all the changes.  I also plan to chat with my naturopath and set up some acupuncture appointments.  But I am worried that I am losing my mind!   I feel like I am having the opposite problem of all the other new parents I know!  Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this and found anything that has helped?

10-28-2012 08:42 PM
cordelia15 Just stopping by to say hi!

Don't have time for many personals sorry but just wanted to say I am reading everything and sending the good thoughts everyone deserves!

Little quick thought to easttowest... Really glad the spotting stopped and thinking of you guys! Just went through that and hoping mine is ending well too so good vibes to you!

Okay back n later for more personals unless we lose power!
10-28-2012 07:15 PM
KnittingTigers
Quote:
Originally Posted by nosreves View Post

i just wanted to put out another request for a threadkeeper for Nov, Dec and Jan.   i'm at 33 weeks now and am hoping this little guy will hang out for at least another five weeks, but it would be great if someone could take over just in case.  usually, the threadkeeper is someone who isn't in the first or third trimester, so if any of you second trimester gals are interested, let me know! merci!

As long as folks can deal with a slow threadkeeper response time, I'm happy to do it!
10-28-2012 11:06 AM
nosreves

i just wanted to put out another request for a threadkeeper for Nov, Dec and Jan.   i'm at 33 weeks now and am hoping this little guy will hang out for at least another five weeks, but it would be great if someone could take over just in case.  usually, the threadkeeper is someone who isn't in the first or third trimester, so if any of you second trimester gals are interested, let me know! merci!

10-27-2012 07:55 PM
KnittingTigers easttowest, so glad you got some reassuring news, and I hope that things have calmed down. Yes to bedrest!

Isa and Desert, I seriously cannot stand the cuteness! Beautiful, beautiful babies!

Nos, thinking of you in this final stretch! Your class in the pool sounds dreamy.

Starling, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. Sending you love and hugs.

Wishin', how are you guys feeling? I was happy to go public on FB (which we did at 12 weeks), because I felt like I was omitting something important every time I posted anything. I am not good at keeping secrets, apparently.

All is well here. I'm still nauseous, but it's not as horrible as it had been, so that's something. I just get so tired these days. I'm embarrassed to say that DD has watched a fair amount of PBS Kids on my watch (or lack thereof) lately while I'm passed out on the couch. Oops.
10-27-2012 01:41 PM
wishin'&hopin'

Egad, the cuteness!!!!  Wow!!!!!!  Oh, I so hope that everything works out for us for a "take home" baby in May! 

10-27-2012 11:15 AM
DesertSunsets

easttowest - hoping you guys are doing okay and the spotting has stopped.  My DW had spotting around that time, too; our midwife said that it's not uncommon for women to spot during the time their bodies would have been ovulating, if they weren't pregnant.  That made us feel better.  Thinking of you!

 

nosreves - glad your doctor made you feel better about your boy's foot!  Sounds like everyone here has had a lot of positive experiences and are full of good advice.  Which is why I love you all, so much.  :) 

 

wishin - yay for going public!  I think we announced on facebook after we'd heard the heartbeat on the doppler.  We just couldn't wait any more.  Actually, I keep meaning to go back and print out all the responses to the announcement to put in Evie's baby book.  Anyway, congrats again!  Sorry about your friend - hopefully she'll be pregnant sooner than later. 

 

pokey - Happy Graduation!  Adorable bean you have there.  I hope you are feeling okay this weekend. 

 

Happy Weekend, everyone!  DW and I both read along here every day, but I always feel like I get so behind on chatting with everybody and I put off posting longer and longer... and now here we are, lol.  

 

Everleigh is eight weeks old today.  Crazy!  She's doing really well, except for that unhappy time at night before bed.  DW has started back very part time at work, so Ever and I have had a few afternoons being alone together, and I'll feel more confident once she's taking milk from her bottle more reliably.  Practice, practice!  I think next week DW's hours are increasing, so we'll see how it goes.  Friday is my first full day with Ever, I took it off from work so I could spend the entire day with her.  

 

Awhile back, Seraf asked if I was breastfeeding, and I thought everybody should get an update.  I had milk when she was born and kept pumping and expressing.  We planned to wait two weeks after she was born to let DW establish a good supply before I'd breastfeed.  Well, when we did start trying to get her to latch, it was very frustrating for both Ever and me.  My nipples are short and stubby and my breasts were full, so it was difficult for her and she was used to having a real easy time latching onto DW, since she's got much smaller breasts and longer, larger nipples.  She would just scream and cry and refuse to even try to latch, and since I wasn't the primary breastfeeder, we'd always transfer her back to DW.  I tried using a shield, which she could latch onto, but my milk supply was not plentiful like DW's so Ever had to work hard to get milk out.  That frustrated her too, since drinking from DW is like drinking from a hose.  

 

After a week or so of trying, I decided it wasn't worth all the effort of pills and pumping and stress.  I stopped taking all the supplements and meds and stopped pumping and life has been much simpler since then.  I thought I'd feel disappointed or regret that I didn't try harder - but I don't feel that way at all.  DW is doing a great job feeding and nourishing our daughter, and my relationship with Evie is perfect the way it is.  And now I know that I can get milk in!  It would have been a lot more convenient if Ever would nurse from me as well as DW, but the way we're doing it seems just fine.  

 

Well, here are some pictures of our girl! 

 

 

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10-27-2012 11:08 AM
nosreves

isa -- those are sooooo frakking cute, and i love love love the We Can Chew It picture.  is this the same friend who did the famous Elton John album cover pregnancy photo?  E. still looks *just* like you, btw.  every time i see her, i remember how you got that weird picture of a book on your pregnancy test and how you went to the parking lot where your DP works with flowers and a children's book when you finally got the betas confirming a BFP.  makes me all teary-eyed thinking about it and looking at that lovely little girl of yours.....  

10-27-2012 10:36 AM
easttowest Isa, that is one of the more adorable babies I have ever seen you've got there. smile.gif
10-27-2012 09:36 AM
seraf

Isa, those pictures are hilarious.

10-27-2012 06:57 AM
lisedea east--Oh my goodness! How scary--but relieving at the same time! So glad to hear that there is a heartbeat!

isa--haha! I love the "We Can Chew It". So cute!
10-27-2012 06:08 AM
prettyisa Easttowest--So scary. I'm glad you got the reassurance that everything is looking good in there. I hope the rhogam helps, and that the rest of the pregnancy is nice and boring for you both! Bedrest sounds like an excellent idea!

Pokey--so cute! Congrats on one healthy bean!

Wishin--Yay for a heartbeat! We didn't do the tests, either, for the same reason. And I'm sorry about your friend. Hopefully her next try will be the one!

Starling--I know I said it over on facebook, but I'm so sorry about your loss. I've been thinking about you and your friend a lot over the past week.

Nos--Glad to hear that it is probably nothing, and that your babou is getting nice and plump!

AFM--Edie is rolling all over the place. We have tried to talk to her about staying on her (rapidly expanding) blanket kingdom, but she still rolls off in search of new adventures. The doctor took one look at her yesterday and told us to babyproof, because she thinks we'll be seeing her pull up onto stuff really soon. Yikes. We also had a friend take some pictures for a calendar, so here is some of the cuteness!







10-27-2012 03:23 AM
easttowest

Update of one of the worst (and best?) nights ever: Spent over six hours in the ER after spotting turned to bright red bleeding.  We were sure she was miscarrying, and she needed to get the Rhogam shot.  Long story short, we have a heartbeat!  111 bpm and measuring 5w6d, which is exactly where we're at.  Such a relief, but the whole ordeal was terrifying and didn't leave us feeling all too confident.  She did end up getting the Rhogam shot since they classified it as a threatened miscarriage, a term I hated hearing and still hate to think about.  I am putting her on bed rest for the weekend, and now it's practically 3:30 am so I am out, too.  I'm just praying this is the last scare we will have.

 

I am so thankful for this community.  Otherwise, we would have felt so alone and scared (well, even more so than we did) through it all.

10-26-2012 08:39 PM
lisedea east--I cramped a bit (normal in early pregnancy) and had pink and then bright red...and as far as I know, everything is okay--at least it stopped. Have her put a pillow under her knees while laying down--that is supposed to help. I am thinking of you two!
10-26-2012 08:01 PM
easttowest

It was brown, but now it's pink.  She says she's had cramping on and off today, but she has also had it for the past week.  The ob/gyn (who she hasn't even met yet) said to take it easy, and she made an appointment on Monday.  Take it easy?  Yeah, ok... we'll try.  Thanks for the well wishes everyone.  Trying to stay hopeful...

10-26-2012 05:57 PM
KnittingTigers Easttowest- sending bigs to both of you, and hoping it's no big deal. I had spotting at exactly that time with my daughter, and everything was fine. Fingers crossed.
10-26-2012 04:18 PM
nosreves

easttowest -- hug2.gif.  i hope it's nothing at all and that the little bean is just settling in more deeply.  

10-26-2012 03:50 PM
lisedea easttowest--Hoping everything is okay! I know how horrible the unknown is. It is so hard to wait...but there isn't much else you can do. hug.gif What color is the spotting? Is she cramping as well?
10-26-2012 03:15 PM
pokeyac

grouphug.gif  Hang in there!  I know it's really scary, but it might be no big deal at all.  I hope everything is fine and you are both feeling at peace soon.

10-26-2012 03:07 PM
easttowest My wife just told me she had some spotting. She is 5 weeks, 6 days. I am trying not to worry because I know it can be normal, but obviously it is difficult.
10-26-2012 11:04 AM
nosreves

salut, everyone!  i just wanted to thank you all for your words of reassurance and support during my freak out earlier this week. ya'll seriously rock blowkiss.gif

 

pokey -- what a sweet little bean!  congrats on your graduation!  hearing that heartbeat and seeing the first ultrasound really start to make it all feel real.  i'm soo excited for you!

 

wishin -- yay for heartbeats and going public!  i'm sorry to hear about your best friend, but hopefully, she'll get a little mental and emotional respite during her ttc break and get her bfp right after getting back into the game.  i know a lot of us on here struggled for a long time before we finally got pregnant.  DP and i got pretty disillusioned and disheartened after nearly two years of setback after setback and impossibly high hurdle after hurdle, but here we are about to welcome our little boy into the world, and it now all seems worth it.  i really hope your friend knows the same joy sometime very soon.

 

so afm.... we had another u/s today..this one done by a doctor.  she said everything looks fine and that she doubts that there are problems with his foot.  if there is any curvature, she thinks it's something that could easily be corrected with a little bit of physical therapy.  at one point she started laughing and said, "well, some babies suck their thumbs in utero.  yours is smelling his foot," and she took a picture of his face with his little foot directly above his nose.  for some reason, DP and i were terribly pleased by this silliness (as some of you on FB have seen.)    oh, and we were told once again that he's a "beau bébé" (which surprisingly enough does *not* mean a "beautiful baby" but rather refers to the fact that he has a big belly and is therefore a "good-sized baby".) 

10-26-2012 04:35 AM
wishin'&hopin'

Pokey--what an adorable bean!  

Knitting--you mentioned boob cozies for bottles awhile back...forgot to tell you that thinking about that makes me giggle!  

 

AFM--we ALL went to the midwife intake yesterday (it was just with a nurse).  I can't say I enjoyed trying to keep an overtired, squirming 2.5 year old still and quiet during the appt!  But, we both wanted to be there because we were hoping to get a quick doppler listen (I hadn't heard the babe's heartbeat yet).  So, after a prolonged period of anxious silence the midwife finally found the heartbeat--a lovely 160 bpm!  It took her a bit b/c most folk have their intake around week 7/8 and since we transferred from the RE it was at week 11.5 and the baby was higher than she realized.  So, in a week and a half we'll go "public"--which I'm looking forward to because I'm an extrovert and since I'm not actually pregnant I need the external affirmation of what we're doing ;)  I think we've decided to forego any first trimester screenings (no nt and no quad screen) b/c it wouldn't affect what our course during this pregnancy would be and we decided the risk of results that worried us, for no reason, are not worth it--we want to try to enjoy this pregnancy w/o worrying about 1/1000 chances etc.  We also did a mall trip for a few maternity items for DW--I love those moments of it all feeling so REAL :)  Otherwise, my best friend and her partner are taking a break from TTC after a little over a year of IUIs--I'm heart sick for her and having some survivor's guilt.  She'll be an amazing mom--and I so wish this was happening faster and easier for her.   

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