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  Topic Review (Newest First)
09-02-2012 12:47 PM
Sourire

NEW THREAD IS UP!

 

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1362225/september-2012-infertility-one-thread

09-02-2012 08:21 AM
Sourire

shesaidboom - I don't mind taking the thread for September. I'll try to get it up this afternoon.

09-02-2012 07:01 AM
SilaMarila

Krunchy - Good lord, rise already! Now don't stalk my chart. You'll think I'm a sex addict.

 

Sourire - My RE likes at least 10mil for an IUI & you were 2.5x that. But I know how it feels. 

 

Stevi - Glad they are clear! But I hate not knowing WHY!

 

Cait - Sorry about the BFN. Miss you too lady.

 

SSB - I'm sorry things have been so rough. Hang in there friend.

 

Milk - Hoping so hard for you. I like the way things are sounding so far.

 

AFM - I've been quiet. I have nothing to say. I'm feeling angry at the moment. CD23 and no O. Last month I ovulated CD22. I've been having signs for over a week now! I guess I'm just back to my broken self again... 

 

I need to have a talk with DH. I either need him to be 100% serious about saving for our donor embryos/adoption or I'm going back to meds. Which I KNOW isn't the path we are supposed to take, nor do I want to. The other option is spending $250 on a Naturopathic Dr. consultation and see if there is something else I can do. If anything, I just tell myself that everything I am doing (diet, exercise, acupuncture, supplements ect) is just getting my body better prepared to accept my donor embabies..

09-01-2012 11:37 PM
Milk8shake

SSB:  goodvibes.gif for a free baby!  How are you feeling post Facebook deletion?  Sometimes I've thought of doing that!

 

Stevi:   wave.gif  I've seen your username "around" but mainly through stalking, I think.  I've heard lots of good things about post HSG fertility - I hope it works for you!

 

Sila:  I miss your face.  flowersforyou.gif

 

Sourire:  splat.gifI cannot believe that you had such a ridiculous doctor (or Asshat, as I've come to know them).  I also can't believe that you are a nerd!  

Very excited about perfect follies though.  What day is test day?  dust.gif

 

SKJ:  How was the massage?  Glad you had such a refreshing doctors appt.  Also glad that you could arrange around your time away... Come on, baby!  

 

Uhm, can we make some sort of rule from now on that no-one else with a username starting with "S" can join the thread?  lol.gif Geez Louise, there are a lotta "S" names here.  dizzy.gif

 

Cait:  How it going over there?  You're a bit quiet.  

 

Deborah:  I think I read about the perimenopause on another thread - what's the story with that, and when will you know for sure?  

 

AFM:  I'm in a holding pattern.  I've made it to five weeks without a bleed, which is a good start.  I've bled with every pregnancy; I think the longest I've gone is about 5.5 weeks, so if I make to six, that will be a milestone.  One of the medications that I am on this time round is supposed to prevent the sub chorionic bleeding, so maybe it's working?  I have a lot of symptoms, but I kind of wonder if the medications, particularly the hormone stuff is impacting on that.  

 

My in laws (unofficially, until I get the ring winky.gif) arrive on Wednesday, for DP's 30th birthday bash, and they will be here for a week.  Wish me luck!  biglaugh.gif

09-01-2012 10:31 PM
shesaidboom

Thanks for all the support ladies. I'm so glad this place is here, I really do not know what I would do without it. I think you are right in that my hormones are definitely contributing, and being a month of doing nothing I'm feeling worse. That does happen each natural cycle I find.


Sourire - it's always something, isn't it? I hate that! Hopefully the doc managed to do everything right, but how infuriating that he'd even say something like that. Hopefully you won't ever have to worry about him again!

 

Cait - I'm so sorry about the BFN.

 

SKJ - I'm glad you had a good appointment and that the doctor was able to help.

 

Stevi - thinking fertile thoughts for you!

 

 

AFM - I'm ovulating, so DH and I have been going at it and praying for a free baby. I am still having a really hard time with things, but I am trying to focus on the positive. We got one BFP in here recently, so that means more are on the way, right?

 

Is anyone taking over for September?

09-01-2012 07:51 PM
Stevi

Thank you for the welcome, ladies!

 

I am probably also going to try the low-dose aspirin. Though I wiull have to stop if it affects my reflux.

09-01-2012 12:52 PM
deborahbgkelly

Stevi- Welcome back! I am not officially of advanced maternal age, but might as well be (likely in Perimenopause already), so you have some company. I'm getting a repeat HSG since it's been a year, day 3 testing, and a whole bunch of stuff to see whether we can figure out what happened with the boys. Toothfairy- Somehow I hadn't made the connection with your old screenname. Looks like we've got a lot of the old crowd here. Welcome to the newbies as well.

08-31-2012 07:05 PM
toothfairy2be Hi Stevi! Glad you're all cleaned out now. I was with you on the One Thread (formerly cbaa2010), just got to be too much. I'm glad you've joined us, you'll love it here. So supportive & knowledgable!

Hi Sila! Miss you lady!
08-31-2012 06:10 PM
Stevi

Well, it was stressful there for awhile, as the doctor forgot to fax over the referral, and I had to drive over and get it myself! Luckily, the people at the diagnostics place were really nice and didn't make me reschedule!

 

The verdict is that my tubes are clear. I'm not really sure how that makes me feel, as it doesn't explain my lack of success. But, it did hurt, so I'm hoping the dye flushed some debris out that the doctor didn't see, because it was swept out ahead of the dye. Not much to go on, but it's something.

 

Now I just hope I can get these blasted donors to cooperate! (I'm counting on that 3 months of raised fertility that I've read about.)

 

Think Fertile Thoughts!

08-31-2012 02:46 PM
SilaMarila

Stevi - Yes, that sounds about right for the actual HSG. However, for me, they also billed the lab to read the results and for the dye so it totalled over $700. BUT, I got my insurance to cover the whole thing because it was a test to "diagnose my condition". Good luck and though I hate for something to be plugged up in there, I hope this is a step closer for you.

 

Nothing exciting going on with me...

08-31-2012 11:30 AM
Stevi

So many familiar names in this thread!!!

 

I still post in the old One Thread. But I miss the days when I wasn't the only one of "advanced maternal age, and long time TTCer. I think I felt left out when you guys branched out because I wasn't able to move on with you medically. My insurance (when I have it) does not cover any sort of fertility testing or treatments. So talk of lapaorcomies, injections, even Clomid and progesterone left me out of the loop. I envy all of you for being able to access all of the scientific advancementsin fertility treatments!!!

 

Anyway, I managed to finagle an ultrasound a few months back which showed that my follicles do grow, and which also showed nothing abnormal. (I was getting some odd pains during my LP, so I was a bit worried.)

 

And then, just for the hell of it, I asked my new OB if there were ANY fertility tests that my medical insurance would cover. She said no, but she also listed the three main things that are checked first.

1. Sperm - Not my issue, as I use donors and change them fairly regularly.

2. Ovulation - I chart, and I feel my signs temps indicate that I do ovulate. I get a clear temp shift every cycle.

3. Fallopian Tubes - I have never had an HSG, and never thought I would be able to get one. But, this doctor told me they run about a thousand dollars, and gave me a list of local places to call. I'm 43 now, so my time is really close to running out. So, I figured that maybe I could save up, and get an HSG as a Christmas present to myself. Well... The very first place I called does the test for $300!!! The second place is $244!!

 

Guess who is getting an HSG in a couple hours????????

 

All of this to explain that I feel a little more like part of the group here, and to ask all of your advice, stories, etcetera about the HSG test.

 

Whew! Thanks for reading!

 

And hello to all of my old friends!!!

08-31-2012 09:29 AM
deborahbgkelly

SKJ- If it is not bothering you too much, I wouldn't worry. My RE claims you can see it by ultrasound if it's on the ovaries (she's wrong- I'm proof of it, but I'm not going to argue). She did note it was pretty bad last year. We're rechecking my tubes, looking for cysts, and checking egg quality again. We will likely need a donor, but maybe the doctor and I will both be wrong. They also did a bunch of testing for clotting disorders. I got really sick afterwards (5 vials of blood at once was a bad idea).

08-31-2012 06:42 AM
skj2011 Sourire - Seriously! Why is it always something??? Hopefully enough swimmers made it to the right place. I have a good feeling for you!!

Toothfairy - Ugh. I'm so sorry. This never gets any easier does it?

Milk, SSB - Thinking about you ladies. Hope to hear from you both soon.
08-30-2012 06:46 PM
toothfairy2be Shesaidboom- sending hugs your way. It is just so. so. so hard sometimes. Nobody can fully understand except to know what we've each gone through and to hope it passes quickly for you.

Sourire- my IUI s were mostly done by 18 yr old nurses so with any luck it is pretty fool proof! Happy 2ww!

SKJ- sounds like you have a very nice RE & I'm so glad he listens to you!

Nieves- sounds like you enjoyed some needed time off, looking forward you your first & only cycle!

AFM- another failed cycle, BFN, waiting for AF to start.
08-30-2012 05:04 PM
skj2011 Deborah - Thanks for that insight. I figure I may have it, but I"m thinking it can't be doing too much harm since I've conceived on my own twice. I just have to go with that assumption for now.
08-30-2012 01:34 PM
deborahbgkelly

SKJ- One thing. I don't want to make you feel less okay, but Endo often does not show up on ultrasounds. Mine did not and I had endometrial cysts all over my ovaries. However, with IVF it is less of an issue than trying naturally.

08-30-2012 12:20 PM
Sourire
Quote:
Originally Posted by krunchyk View Post

Sourire - The bibliophile in me demands that I delurk to ask you what fantasy series you are reading. I'm a big fan (aka nerd) of fantasy series. Also, I hope the befuddled doctor got those swimmers into your ute just in time for a perfect fertilization. Good luck during the 2ww! 

  

Everyone else - Have a fabulous three-day weekend! (For those of us in the US.)

 

I'm definitely a fantasy nerd too, I have been since high school. Right now I'm re-reading the Wheel of Time series in anticipation of the final book coming out soon, but I read all the other major series too (Game of Thrones, Sword of Truth, etc).

 

It's a 3-day weekend for us in Canada too! Though I took next week off so I will be enjoying my 9 day weekend as soon as I can finish this big project at work (it's looking like I'll have to work this Saturday though).

08-30-2012 11:23 AM
krunchyk

Sourire - The bibliophile in me demands that I delurk to ask you what fantasy series you are reading. I'm a big fan (aka nerd) of fantasy series. Also, I hope the befuddled doctor got those swimmers into your ute just in time for a perfect fertilization. Good luck during the 2ww! 

 

Also, while I am here, Sila I hope you see a temp shift in the next couple of days! Fingers crossed.

 

Everyone else - Have a fabulous three-day weekend! (For those of us in the US.)

08-30-2012 09:42 AM
Sourire

SKJ - I'm glad your appointment went so well! It sounds like your doctor really listened to your concerns, which isn't always the case with other doctors! I'm really impressed that he figured out a way to work around your travels so you wouldn't have to skip a month!

 

AFM - I'm kind of disappointed with my IUI. First of all, DH's sperm count & motility was way lower than usual. Also he apparently had abnormally high viscosity according to the report... I don't really know what that means but it's never happened before and apparently it's not a good thing. Anyways we still had 25 million motile sperm for the insemination which is not that bad but it's a bit disappointing because we're used to numbers in the 60-100 million range.

 

Then I got this doctor who had clearly never done an IUI at my clinic before cause he couldn't figure out how to turn on the little lamp they use to insert the speculum and didn't know that there was a bench for me to rest my feet on during the 10 minutes I'm supposed to lie there after the insemination - I had to explain to him how things were done which didn't really raise my confidence. He also spent an eternity fiddling with the catheter before he put it in and I'm kind of worried he didn't inseminate me properly because he seemed so confused!

 

On top of that, when I told him this was my 5th IUI, he started making comments about how I have to change my mindset if I want it to work this time, and as he was actually doing the insemination he was like ok I hope you're changing your thoughts right now! I found that kind of insulting, it's almost like he's saying it's my fault that it didn't work the 4 previous times. I guess it's just another way of saying "relax and you'll get pregnant"... the phrase we all hate so much! 

 

Anyways, the good news is I was starting to get my hopes up about this cycle due to the acupuncture and my perfect follicles but with everything that happened this morning I've lost hope again, so now I won't have to be disappointed when I get my BFN. I have an appointment with my RE in 2 weeks to talk about IVF... I will be counting the days!

08-30-2012 07:43 AM
skj2011 SSB - I'm so sorry you are down right now. I think Sourire had a lot of good wisdom. I agree that it can be really hard to be waiting for the next thing and not feeling like you are moving forward. I wish I could give you a huge hug. You will get through this.

Sourire - Your entire post made me feel all warm inside. It's so amazing to have other ladies to offer such amazing support in such a difficult time. Thank you blowkiss.gif I hope your IUI goes without a hitch and you report a BFP in a couple of weeks!!!

Nieve - Glad to hear you had a nice time "off". And, exciting to get started with IVF!

Lilac - Damn it! I was so hoping for you to be able to move forward. I so sorry you have more waiting.

AFM - I had a great appt with the RE yesterday. He answered all my questions including me asking, "Why am I not pregnant yet." His answer: "I don't know." It really helped hearing that from the doctor. It took a lot of pressure off of me. As for endo, he said that none of my u/s have showed it and my tubes are open. He said, I could very well have it, but it's not likely affecting my fertility. So, that made me feel like I can move on from that thought. I'm traveling during peak O time this month. So, we compromised and I'm doing 25mg of clomid. I'll do monitoring the day I leave and if things look to be ready, I'll trigger and IUI on the same day. Not ideal, but better than nothing. If I am close, but not ready, they will tell me which day to trigger while I'm traveling and we'll do TI. Otherwise, I'll just do more monitoring when I'm back. So, that sounded reasonable to me. The next month I'll take off to take a break from meds and b/c we are traveling. Then, I'll do injectibles. He kept saying, "If you need it. You may be pregnant before then." It was nice to hear that. So, I'm feeling more hopeful.
08-30-2012 05:07 AM
Sourire Skj - you definitely shouldn't blame yourself for a failed cycle or for your cycle being wonky. We all just won the infertility lottery and it sucks but we will still get a baby in the end. It will take us longer than everyone else but we will be stronger for it. My doctor said the same thing about laparoscopies not really increasing success rates but I insisted so that's how I got mine.

shesaidboom - I'm really sorry things are so hard for you right now. I read what you wrote yesterday evening but didn't have time to respond. I wish I could give you a really big hug right now. I find that I get more easily frustrated or depressed in cycles when I'm not doing anything to work towards my goal of having a baby. Maybe that it part of why you're finding it so hard right now. I also agree with Milk that it sounds like your hormones might be a bit out of whack right now and that could be contributing to how you feel. What helps me is to spoil myself and distract myself. When I'm feeling really down I book myself a massage at my favorite spa. I also try to forget about TTC by doing something fun and time consuming. Right now I'm rereading my favorite fantasy book series (13 books that are like 1000 pages each) so that should keep my mind off things for a while! Watching a few seasons of a really good TV show is another good distraction. And last of all make sure you're getting plenty of rest, everything seems worse when you're tired. I know everything seems insurmountable right now, but just take things one day at a time and you will feel better eventually. What happened to that therapist you started seeing a while back? Did that end up working out? I'm sure a good therapist could help you get through this rough time. Hang in there.

Lilac - sorry you have to wait some more for that reimbursement. Waiting sucks!

nieve - it's great that you were able to recharge over the summer. I hope IVF works on your first try!

AFM - IUI is in a few hours! I'm super busy at work though... I have a huge deadline tomorrow and my boss is giving me a guilt trip for disappearing for a few hours to go get inseminated. So I'm going in super early this morning to try to make up for the time I will lose later. Bleh. Luckily I got to sleep early last night so I'm not too tired.
08-29-2012 08:52 PM
deborahbgkelly

Hugs SSB.

08-29-2012 05:10 PM
shesaidboom

Really bad night tonight. I finally deleted facebook though!

08-29-2012 01:08 PM
Gemmine

Sourire: That is pretty exciting, 2 perfect follies! I'll be lurking creepily during these next couple of weeks!

 

Cait, Sila, all my other lovelies, if you're lurking, I'm thinking of you! grouphug.gif

08-29-2012 07:11 AM
nievesstevens

Hey everyone! Coming out hiatus to say hi and catch up with current events here. We took a two month hiatus from most things conception related except for strictly pleasure loving. BOY! Did we need that reset. No calendars to watch, no meds to take, no GET TO THE ROOM I GOT A SMILEY FACE! or CALL THE IUI line, I got a smiley face. We did, however, move forward with our IVF eval and while the saline US was no walk in the park, the trial transfer was fine. I got my protocol lineup: 2 weeks of suppression ( desogen ), Lupron (40mcg), Follistim (450iu), Menopur (150iu) HCG trigger and then progesterone in sesame oil (50mg/cc). We will probably move forward in late October with the first (hopefully only) cycle. So there we are. Other than that, we took our baby-making free time to enjoy and explore our first summer in our new town.

08-28-2012 04:59 PM
lilacvioletiris

Ugh, no reimbursement today.  Now to wait another 2 weeks and hope it happens then.  Now maybe an IVF in October or November.  This money thing does suck and the unknown is even worse.

08-28-2012 08:52 AM
deborahbgkelly

SKJ_ If you don't mind another quote (though I don't know who said it), a friend of mine said she was reading a Buddhist nun's work and a lot of what she wrote was- You have emotions. Acknowledge them. Allow them. (you get the idea).

08-28-2012 06:26 AM
skj2011 SSB - I can totally relate right now. I wish things weren't so difficult. Sometimes, it's just really hard to keep pushing ahead. But, I think Milk is right. You need to feel these things in order to get to the other side of them. Big hugs to you friend. I hope this cycle gets its act together and you can get the MRI and have the IVF to look forward to.

Lilac - the money side of all this really does suck. It's so unfair.

AFM - Thanks ladies. It helps to have people that know how shitty it feels. AF arrived last night. I canceled the beta and have my baselines tomorrow. Then, we'll see what the RE has to say. I want to just keep moving forward. As for the endo, it seems like my clinic's policy is to not treat it with surgery. I guess there is some disagreement about whether or not surgery helps with pregnancy rates. So, we'll see what tomorrow brings as far as that goes. I'm going to schedule a massage for tonight smile.gif
08-28-2012 03:26 AM
lilacvioletiris

skj, sorry to hear that AF appears to be showing up.

 

sourire, sounds like good things are happening on the IUI route you are taking.  Hope all goes well the next couple of days.

 

AFM, well, direct deposit of DH's paycheck shows now reimbursement, but DH had talked to the money person on Friday and she had said something about cutting a separate check for the reimbursement, so I guess I have to wait impatiently for DH to come back after work.  I wish money wasn't the deciding factor in getting pregnant.

08-28-2012 03:14 AM
Milk8shake

Oh crap - SKJ!  Cuss.gif  Don't blame yourself, really.  I've BTDT many times.  It doesn't help.  hug2.gif

 

Sourire!  Rock on follies!  

 

SSBblowkiss.gifflowersforyou.gif  So sorry about the crappy cycle, lousy AF and dodgy headspace.  I can relate to it all so well.  

I'm glad you have decided to go ahead next month regardless.  I think that's a good choice.  It's hard not to look back and judge decisions with 20/20 hindsight vision.  

Now, and for several years, I have felt like I will never be a mother.  I still feel like that everyday - I'm not sure it will ever go away.  Talking about babies and pregnancies and other stuff still cuts me to the bone.  I have good days and bad days, like anyone.  I am absolutely dreading the birthday party next weekend because of the numerous pregnant women that will be there.  I would usually deal with the anxiety by drinking.  Not healthy, I know, but it certainly takes the edge off.  

 

I'm wondering if you're feeling this way because your cycle is wack, and your hormones are a bit off.  I'm not brushing you off, just wondering if that is exacerbating things somewhat?  During the midst of my big depressive meltdown after my third loss, I read a quote that says: "you can't go round it, you have to go through it".  It can be difficult to distinguish the fine line between depression and grief, and sometimes there's nothing you can do, except survive it.  

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