Mothering Forums - Reply to Topic

Thread: New Confidence, New Intimacy, But Lacking Empathic/Analytic Skills Reply to Thread
Title:
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Trackback:
Send Trackbacks to (Separate multiple URLs with spaces) :
Post Icons
You may choose an icon for your message from the following list:
 

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



  Additional Options
Miscellaneous Options

  Topic Review (Newest First)
08-28-2012 11:23 PM
Linda on the move

You might read up on "nonviolent communication."  Here is a link to a good book on the subject

http://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-A-Language-Life/dp/1892005034/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1346221278&sr=8-1&keywords=nonviolent+communication

 

It's a quick easy read, but can really change how you talk and listen to others.  It offers real tools for how to respond to the things people say so that they feel hear and understood, and feel like they can keep talking until the get to the end of what ever it is.

08-28-2012 06:13 PM
DadMan My wife and I have had a period of really intense growth in our relationship, in large part due to my recent acceptance of myself as a person. I've given up on worrying about rejection (mostly) and can be her equal for the first time in our 11 years of marriage. We've had sex 12 times in the past four days (due mainly to her intense sex drive, which was until now repressed by anti-depressants). We've stayed up very late talking, and reconnecting after a while of being more distant.

She came home today and was visibly upset, shaken. She was feeling panicky, worried that, even though we'd been communicating more, I didn't have the skills she feels she really needs. She wants someone that can dig deep into emotions and thoughts. Someone that asks "what do you think is behind that?" and "why do you feel this way?" and other such things. She says that in order to get me to offer her anything behind my surface feelings, she has to pull it out of me, and it's exhausting.

So, I guess I'm not really sure what I'm looking for here. I love my wife, and want to do all that I can for her conversation/emotional needs. I'm no longer afraid of her rejecting me, and that's allowed me to get away from defensiveness, or at least not be so stuck there. I want to help her feel like she can get what she wants from me without feeling exhausted.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Questions?

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off