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  Topic Review (Newest First)
09-27-2012 06:31 AM
AKA_PI

LATEST UPDATE

 

I have spent the last two days in the classroom with my son to observe but to also just spend time with him, given everything that has happened up to until this point. Yesterday was a very good day for him. I didn't have to tell him to stop making the noises too many times and when I did he stopped immediately. He and his classmates played nicely but I was able to see the personalities of some of the boys he continuously has issues with. One kid in particular kept pestering the other kids intentionally. Several times I caught him pushing a child down and looking around to see if he got caught. I remember this child because this one of the kids my son bit the other week. My son has never bit anyone (not even me) so I was surprised to learned that he bit someone. Given what I saw yesterday, I have a pretty clear understanding why it happened now. 

 

Today I spent the morning in the classroom and will return at lunch. He was in rare form this morning. He was extremely active and bouncy. I did have to keep telling him to be quiet while I read the class a story and made him come sit by me to settle down. I even pulled him to the side and had a talk with him. I could see some of the behavior the teacher identified first hand and I can see how it can be a disturbance when it is time for the lesson. Our goal right now is to get him to focus and settle down doing circle time (aka story time/lesson of the day). I even went as far as to let him bring his favorite Dr. Seuss book to class and I read that to the kids and he wasn't paying attention at all. Seeing how he loves the spotlight, I could tell that some of what he was doing was to get attention from others. 

 

I'll be back up there for the second half of the day and the afternoon. I'm scheduling a meeting with his pediatrician when she returns next week to discuss him and possibly see a developmental pediatrician. It's not necessarily testing but I would like to see a medical review to make sure that yes is indeed acting like a 4 year old little boy who loves attention. I'm sure if Dad will be ok with that but I don't want to give the school any more ammunition to build a case against my son.

 

OH! And the other day I made him sit in timeout on the couch for 15 minutes. He actually stayed there the ENTIRE 15 minutes. He whined a couple of times to get down but I stuck to my guns and said no and he stayed!

09-19-2012 03:24 PM
AKA_PI

UPDATE FROM TODAY'S MEETING:

 

The teachers informed us that his behavior has increased and that he has become defiant. When asked to do something he now tells the teachers "No", covers his ears, or crosses his arms while pouting. They also said that they noticed that he just simply cannot seem to stop making IronMan or character noises. He is a bit obsessed with ironman so we get on him to "turn it off" so that he settles down but that is hardly working for us. 

 

The director informed us that she is having someone come to generally observe to class and if maybe the room is overstimulating or perhaps the teachers need to change the way they do some of the large group/small group activities. She isn't having the person to come and observe my child directly but she is going to see if the observer picks up on his behavior and what he is doing. DB and decided that they were OK with someone observing the director even offered to set something up so that we can speak to her/him to see what they noticed in general. 

 

The director thinks the the changes as of late may be causing him stress and that that is the reason for his acting out. I do have to agree with her on that thought process but at this point, I don't see how this entire situation can be resolved without everyone feeling some sort of stress.

 

At this point, we do not feel that what he has going on is anything super major but to hear that there is an increase in his behavior after the last meeting definitely causes us to pause. The teachers are going to continue with the methods they have been trying and will try to alter depending on the situation. At home we have agreed to take away all of his action figures leaving him with toys like balls, cars, etc. Since the things he is emulating are the action figures, perhaps removing those will help the situation a bit. 

 

I also spoke with his pediatrician today and she believes him to be an active 4 year that must be taught to settle down. She also thinks that maturity plays into this and that two months for now this will be a thing of the past. I told her that I would bring the report and discuss things with her from a medical perspective. She's known him since he was 5 days old so I value her input into the situation. 

 

On a positive note, the teacher said that he has made some new friends in class and that academically he impresses them everyday. They have been able to keep him focused on certain assignments and he does them exceptionally well. We do have to work on him cutting with scissors since he tends to use both his hands and hasn't decided if his left or right him will be dominant (both his grandfathers are ambidextrous). Anyway, that's the latest on the situation. We're going to have a family talk tonight about good behavior and go from there. 

09-19-2012 06:57 AM
Emmeline II
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_PI View Post

Hey guys - just wanted to let you know that we have a two week follow-up meeting at DS's preschool today. I'm about 100% sure the teacher will proclaim that there has been no change but we will see. Something new his dad and I implemented was no tv during the week. Sure we were giving him 30-40 minutes but then we talked about it and decided to completely remove it Monday-Thursday and do other activities instead. Before we know it, it's 8:30 and time for bed.

 

Do you have any other options for preschool? Do you think the issue is just with the teacher or with 'tone' of the school? My dd (1st grade) came home with a packet the first week of school, and in it there is a blurb that says

Quote:
"When you ask me what I've done at school today, and I say that 'I just played,' please don't misunderstand me. For, you see, I'm learning as I play. I'm learning to enjoy & be successful in my work. I'm preparing for tomorrow. Today, I am a child and my work is my play."

 

In regards to holding him back, holding a student back is not a (legally--in public school) acceptable response to failing to address a student's needs; meaning, if they think he has special needs they need to address them and not just hold him back. If this school is your only option right now you may want to take him to a developmental-behavioral pediatrician and have them write a report for the school that (likely) says he does not qualify for a diagnosis and that his behavior is developmentally appropriate for his age.

 

The strange thing is that even if he had a diagnosis that wouldn't change anything for them. They have no say in whether or not he is medicated and (if public) they would have to provide accommodations that they already should be doing. With ADHD (or any special need) there is a lot of adjusting the environment to fit the child, not the other way around.

09-19-2012 05:40 AM
KCMichigan
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_PI View Post

Thank you so much for your concern. We have a two-week follow up meeting this morning with the teacher and director again. I'm sure they are going to say there is no change and push us for testing again. They may not see a change but his father and I have. The funny thing about my DS isn't that he doesn't learn and retain the information (I quiz him in the evenings) but he just won't sit still. He's an extremely bright and inquisitive 4 year; he just likes to play more than sit still.

 

 

I am glad you are seeing some changes. =]

 

If he is learning that is fabulous.4 is an age that is mobile, it should be. Kids are wired to move and they learn through play. 

 

At 4, very few kiddos would be 'tested' for ADHD if that is what they are pushing for (there are always a few kids that are accurately diagnosed that young, but that is often after several years of suspecting it anyway). It would be rare that would give such a diagnosis to a child that previously had no concerns from parents, previous teachers, etc

 

 

Hope your meeting goes better than you expect!

 

 

 

Even my almost 7 year old rarely SITS, she perches, flops, lays, crouches, etc. and she still plays constantly. She learns best through movement- it is just the way she is. Her attention span is long and she listens well, but rarely is she just sitting still.

09-19-2012 04:24 AM
AKA_PI

Hey guys - just wanted to let you know that we have a two week follow-up meeting at DS's preschool today. I'm about 100% sure the teacher will proclaim that there has been no change but we will see. Something new his dad and I implemented was no tv during the week. Sure we were giving him 30-40 minutes but then we talked about it and decided to completely remove it Monday-Thursday and do other activities instead. Before we know it, it's 8:30 and time for bed.

09-19-2012 04:22 AM
AKA_PI

Thank you so much for your concern. We have a two-week follow up meeting this morning with the teacher and director again. I'm sure they are going to say there is no change and push us for testing again. They may not see a change but his father and I have. The funny thing about my DS isn't that he doesn't learn and retain the information (I quiz him in the evenings) but he just won't sit still. He's an extremely bright and inquisitive 4 year; he just likes to play more than sit still.

09-15-2012 12:40 PM
auntbea

I signed up just to reply to this because it makes me sad on your son's behalf. First, anyone who has been trained as a teacher should know that you never talk for more than ten minutes before moving the students on to an activity. Second, all procedures (lining up, raising hands, putting supplies away) need to be actively taught, and it usually takes a couple of weeks and a LOT of repetition before students get it right. I used to teach *high school* and I followed these rules, or else my *fourteen* year old students got frustrated and fidgety and didn't know how to behave. You don't get to be irritated with students for not doing what you want them to until you have really, really, REALLY taught them what it is you want them to do. And even then, being irritated is usually not helpful.

 

I know I am not part of your son's classroom, and don't really know whether this woman is a good teacher or not, but the fact that she is already annoyed and sounding alarm bells about testing seems really...odd.

 

But I will say that what you are doing at home, which is essentially teaching him classroom procedures, sounds really great. It sounds effective, too.

09-15-2012 06:28 AM
meemee

my dd was an extremely high energy child. she needed an energy outlet otherwise she was extremely emotional.

 

she not only had a high physical need, but an intense social need too.

 

what helped in ps was to walk to school instead of drive. and maybe sometimes stop for a hot chocolate and chat with the staff. at that age dd could never walk. she hopped, skipped and jumped to school. 

 

in K we were super lucky that we got into afternoon K. with the schools permission we arrived an hour earlier so that dd was able to join in recess with the primary and intermediate students. i had to be there to make sure dd was safe. just this had a HUGE impact on dd.

 

even today dd has an exercise ball for a chair at home. 

 

and oh yes even today dd is very much a kinesthetic learner.

09-12-2012 06:26 AM
AKA_PI

That is a great way to word it! A puzzle not a problem. I need to remember that. 

 

Let's hope today is as successful as yesterday. 

09-12-2012 06:24 AM
lauren
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_PI View Post

 

I do wonder if his teacher is tried to find other ways of engaging not just him but all the kids when they seem bored. My little guy loved doing some jumping jacks and dancing in the middle of doing work. It made it so much easier to get him back on track and wrap up study time. 

 

I don't expect a change over night, in a week or in two weeks. With consistently on both our end and his teacher's, maybe we can teach him what he should be doing instead of scolding him for not (which is what I don't like).

Glad to hear you had a good day!! It sounds like you are figuring your little guy out and can then make some suggestions to the teacher.

 

I do think kids all like to learn differently and if your son is a 'mover' and likes to figure things out with his body, sit down times will be harder for him. As he gets older he'll figure out how to manage that but it is new for him. It would be great if the teacher could join with you in trying to figure out what works and doesn't work with him, more like  a 'puzzle' than a 'problem' you know what I mean? That's what skilled teachers do.

09-12-2012 05:42 AM
AKA_PI

We had a good day yesterday! Woohoo! We have implemented a new thing at home: when we get home in the evening, he is allowed to go play with his toys for 30-40 minutes while I start dinner. Once I'm done with dinner, we have family play time in which the 3 of us will play with blocks and just talk or lately we've been playing Kinect Adventure (great physical activity for the whole family). After 30 minutes of this, we will all sit down for dinner and have a general conversation. Once dinner is done and the kitchen is cleaned, we'll have 20 minutes of study time. Typically we review shapes, colors, practice spelling his name and talk about what they are learning in school. After 10-15 minutes I start to lose his attention so all 3 of us will do some jumping jacks or I'll turn on some music so we can dance then settle back down to finish the next 10 minutes. After that's all done, he gets to go play for another 30 minutes until it's time for bed. 

 

We've been trying this method since last week and I'm starting to notice that he's getting used to it. He tells me "Mommy I want to do my letters" or "Mommy Daddy, let's play blocks". The main thing I want to do is teach him what he should be doing without making it so stressful for him. He thinks we're just playing school and playing games but we're actually learning and practices the same things he will have to do in class. 

 

I do wonder if his teacher is tried to find other ways of engaging not just him but all the kids when they seem bored. My little guy loved doing some jumping jacks and dancing in the middle of doing work. It made it so much easier to get him back on track and wrap up study time. 

 

I don't expect a change over night, in a week or in two weeks. With consistently on both our end and his teacher's, maybe we can teach him what he should be doing instead of scolding him for not (which is what I don't like).

09-11-2012 06:10 PM
lauren

http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/

 

Here is an excellent resource that the teacher's program may find helpful.

 

I work in this field and there is a lot of variation in the capability of a 4 year old to attend to a 20 minute circle time. Yes, this is a skill that kindergartens like to see, but a skilled teacher knows how to engage students so that they want to be there for 20 minutes. It is quite normal for a teacher to assist a child in learning self-regulation and self-control skills not to just expect that they have them at age 4. That is what preschool is for, to learn these skills!  How about allowing him to use fidgets during circle? Has she ever taught the class expectations of circle time? These are skills to be taught.

 

I also think that the class ratio is not good. A typical preschool classroom is 2 adults to 16 kids, 18 at most. Your son might do better in  smaller class with more structure and direct guidance. It is amazing how kids can do better or worse in  different environments.

09-10-2012 10:14 AM
Ragana

Sorry you are going through this! What jumped out at me about your post was the expectation that your son sits quietly for 20 minutes at a time right off the bat. I can see working up to that over the year to prep for kindergarten, but not immediately. I am not a certified teacher, so this is admittedly anecdotal, but I led a 30-minute children's class on Saturdays for several years - I had kids K-2, and quite a few of them could not concentrate on an activity for 20 minutes at a time. I aimed to switch activities every 10 minutes or so. Seems like an unrealistic expectation to me.
 

09-10-2012 10:12 AM
KCMichigan
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_PI View Post

They recommended/lightly suggested that they may want to consider holding my son back from Kindergarten as well. I mean, one month into school and this is a recommend you have because he's playful and boy? I just don't think its a fair or reasonable assessment given the timeframe and his age. 

 You are right- it is not fair or reasonable.

 

In some areas it seems a blanket statement to 'wait' for a summer birthday, especially a boy.

 

You still have a year to go. A lot can change in a year!

 

When you do start to get ready for K (or close to 5) ask for a DIAL or Lollipop developmental screener- or any other screener used for kids going into Kindergarten. It is standardized, but the 'testing' is play based and question based. It will let you know where your son is based on other kids THE SAME AGE- so you know how he is really doing and if you think he is ready for K.

 

Other ideas are young 5s program- some kids do K afterward and some go straight into 1st. It is a good place for younger kids to test the waters of K and see.

 

That said-- I would ask for a change of teachers if you have not seen any of these issues before. 

 

I,too, am curious why most of the kids are already 5 in the classroom.

 

Developmentally the range of a new 4 and a 5.5 is normally pretty broad. That is a big spread and a lot of growth occurs in all children between those ages....

09-10-2012 09:42 AM
AKA_PI

They recommended/lightly suggested that they may want to consider holding my son back from Kindergarten as well. I mean, one month into school and this is a recommend you have because he's playful and boy? I just don't think its a fair or reasonable assessment given the timeframe and his age. 

09-06-2012 08:22 AM
Emmeline II
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_PI View Post

Thanks everyone for your insight and encouragement. The teacher actually called me yesterday and wants his father, myself, her and the director of the center to meet to discuss my DS. I guess she still feels that he is not showing any progress in sitting still or paying attention to her for long periods of time. He still does great in small centers time (which is when they get to work a smaller group on an individual activity). We had a long discussion yesterday and the guy and I have concluded that we don't think her personality is meshing well with hers; we would like to transfer him to another classroom.

 

It happens. I'm glad my ds had the teacher he did for 1st because the other teacher would not have been a good fit personality-wise. Ds (who has ADHD/Asperger's) was a bit traumatized by K at a different school (a whole other story); the other 1st teacher seemed more "particular" about things, whereas his teacher was more "organized chaos" and flexible which worked better for ds overall. My dd would do fine with either teacher and actually has ds' 1st grade teacher now.

09-06-2012 06:14 AM
ollyoxenfree

Just noticed I made a typo upthread - he's 4, not 3. I don't think it matters to the point I was making about the doctor's opinion as to whether he's developmentally on track, but I've corrected my earlier post. 

09-05-2012 06:51 AM
Geofizz

Why is he in a class where he's so much younger than the other children?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree View Post

A conference sounds like a good idea and a change in teachers may be the best decision.

 

In case you are concerned that you might get emotional during the meeting, it may help to prepare and organize before you attend. Start with a written outline of concerns - headline specific issues that might come up and have some point-form notes under each issue that you want to make before the meeting ends. You could note anything relevant from his last doctor's check-up (including the doctor's opinion that he's right on schedule, developmentally, for a 3 y.o., if something like that was stated). If there are reports or assessments from last year's Pre-K teacher, bring them with you, especially if they remark on his classroom behaviour. Examples of any "work" he's done at home that might differ a little from what they see at school, in terms of artwork or writing that might show motor control, attention to detail, etc., in case there is some issue about his academic readiness.   

 

Having that kind of "portfolio" in front of you may help you stay on track if you start to feel overwhelmed during the meeting. Best wishes with it. 


This is good advice.

 

I also prepare responses to things I predict the school or teacher will say.  "He's too wiggly"  Under that I'll outline my response -- he does fine for X periods, centers are going great, what is it about the circle time that's different?

09-05-2012 05:55 AM
ollyoxenfree

A conference sounds like a good idea and a change in teachers may be the best decision.

 

In case you are concerned that you might get emotional during the meeting, it may help to prepare and organize before you attend. Start with a written outline of concerns - headline specific issues that might come up and have some point-form notes under each issue that you want to make before the meeting ends. You could note anything relevant from his last doctor's check-up (including the doctor's opinion that he's right on schedule, developmentally, for a 3 4 y.o., if something like that was stated). If there are reports or assessments from last year's Pre-K teacher, bring them with you, especially if they remark on his classroom behaviour. Examples of any "work" he's done at home that might differ a little from what they see at school, in terms of artwork or writing that might show motor control, attention to detail, etc., in case there is some issue about his academic readiness.   

 

Having that kind of "portfolio" in front of you may help you stay on track if you start to feel overwhelmed during the meeting. Best wishes with it. 

 

Ed. to correct typo - he's 4, not 3. 

09-05-2012 05:34 AM
ChristaN

I'm sorry.  I hope that you are able to get him into a different classroom with a better teacher fit.  FWIW, I've had teachers who were off based on their assessments of my kids in the past as well and time bore that out.  I recall my oldest, who just recently turned 14, and her first parent-teacher conference in preschool.  She, like your ds, was the youngest in the classroom having just turned three (it was a three to four y/o preschool classroom).  The teacher informed me that the was behind academically b/c she couldn't write her own name from memory w/out looking at her cubby to copy down letters and that she was the only child in the classroom who didn't know how to spell her name.  She suggested that I hold her back from K the year after next b/c she was not going to be able to keep up.  I later found out that dd's class was full of a bunch of kids who were closer to four than three and who had names like Ann and Max.  Dd's name has eight letters none of which are double letters (like A-n-n).  Fast forward a few years (we didn't follow her advice to hold her out of K due to her "academic unreadiness") and her elementary school and the middle school she was slated to attend were advocating for her to skip a grade and enter middle school shortly before her 10th bd b/c she was too academically advanced for them to be able to accommodate her without extreme measures.

 

My point being that it is very hard to tell in a three or four year old if the behaviors you see indicate a permanent difference or just a developmental stage or being one of the youngest in class or being an energetic young boy or anything else.  I see nothing in what you've written about your ds that sounds pathological at face value.  Especially if this is the first time this has come up, I'd agree with you that a change of environment is a good first step much more so than working on changing your ds.

09-05-2012 05:21 AM
AKA_PI

Thanks everyone for your insight and encouragement. The teacher actually called me yesterday and wants his father, myself, her and the director of the center to meet to discuss my DS. I guess she still feels that he is not showing any progress in sitting still or paying attention to her for long periods of time. He still does great in small centers time (which is when they get to work a smaller group on an individual activity). We had a long discussion yesterday and the guy and I have concluded that we don't think her personality is meshing well with hers; we would like to transfer him to another classroom. 

 

I spent most of yesterday crying and upset because I felt as though she has already mentally labelled my DS and not accepted the fact that he is 4 and everyone else turned 5 last year. I'm not making excuses saying that he is a perfect child; that would be silly of me as a parent. But I do know what my son is capable of and in the 2.5 years he's been attending this daycare, we have never had any issues until he got into this classroom. I'm not going to discredit her success as a teacher but she just isn't the teacher for my son.

08-24-2012 06:57 PM
moominmamma
Quote:
Originally Posted by Geofizz View Post

 

Expecting a young 4 year old to attend to circle time for 20 minutes is setting him up to fail.

 

yeahthat.gif

As the parent of kids who have been able to attend and sit still for 20 minutes at a time at age 4, I totally agree with Geofizz. My kids could do that, and people commented all the time about how unusual they were, that's how much of an exception that ability is in a 4-year-old. In fact I know people muttered things behind my back about how placid and "flat" my kids were, how they didn't seem to have much spark, etc. etc.. (They weren't dense and boring kids, but that's how quietly attentive 4-year-olds seem to be viewed by some people.) Anyway, it is my kids who were weird, not AKA_PI's ds!

 

Miranda

08-23-2012 05:27 PM
Geofizz

DS' second grade class -- 7 and 8 year olds, is working on sitting still for longer than 6 minutes at the moment.

 

In my faculty meeting today -- adults 30 to 70 -- people started fidgeting after 10 minutes, getting up for a cookie or another cup of coffee, doodling, or checking their phones.

 

Expecting a young 4 year old to attend to circle time for 20 minutes is setting him up to fail.

08-23-2012 12:38 PM
Emmeline II

Generally, the school needs your permission to do a special education assessment (like Conners for ADHD). To figure out what they may and may not do I would go to your state department of education website and look for a document for parents with "procedural protections" in the title; Wrightslaw.com is a good website to get answers to these types of questions also.

 

My ds does have ADHD and trying to make him sit for circle/carpet time resulted in stimming and other behaviors. In first grade he still would not do it so the teacher gave him the option of sitting in a chair outside the circle or doing other things quietly in the classroom while still paying attention. Also, I'd be careful about putting too much stock in her 'years of experience'  or other parent's reviews as what she has been doing for years, or what other parents count as positives, may not be what you agree with/value or what is right for your child.

08-23-2012 12:03 PM
ChristaN
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_PI View Post

  • He was noticably fidgety after 10 minutes of sitting in circle time. Additionally, it seems that was the case for most of the other kids as well. They were all antsy and two or three were getting up but my son stayed.

 

I'm glad that it's going better, but I'd tend to believe that, if most of the kids cannot sit still to listen to a book, for instance, for more than 10 minutes, then the circle time should not last longer than 10 minutes b/c it is developmentally inappropriate to expect them to sit still that long.

08-23-2012 12:00 PM
ollyoxenfree

That sounds promising. Hope you will update again in a few weeks or a month or so. Best wishes for an easy adjustment to pre-K. 

08-23-2012 08:58 AM
AKA_PI

ANOTHER UPDATE!!!

 

I spent about two hours at the daycare center observing my son and I noticed a few things:

  • He did much better about staying on the carpet today during circle time. Although he didn't get up, he at least stayed on the carpet which was good!
  • He was noticably fidgety after 10 minutes of sitting in circle time. Additionally, it seems that was the case for most of the other kids as well. They were all antsy and two or three were getting up but my son stayed.
  • He kept making action character sounds (i.e., Ironman missiles) but it wasn't too bad. 
  • He does well in smaller groups. No moving around and very focused.
  • He's very hands on. He likes to do things and learns by actually doing it. 

 

The teacher says that there was a slight improvement today; he definitely stayed on the carpet. She's ok with some fidgeting but wants to work on him being a little more focused when she's reading a book or going over the lesson for the day. She is in agreement with me that he is a young 4 and that we will just continue to observe him and see how he does. Everyone including the asst director thinks that he should be fine in a month or so, after he's really been in class for while.

 

I feel a little more at ease and will continue to stay abreast of the situation.

08-23-2012 08:44 AM
AKA_PI
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristaN View Post

Good luck; I do hope that things improve.  Two things about this thread have really been keeping it at the back of my mind although I haven't responded yet.  One is the teacher and her obvious irritation and the second is her mention of the state potentially "needing" to get involved and assess.  The later really bugs me, honestly.  I am the parent of two girls who are much older than your son, but I remember volunteering in their classes in early elementary and how the young boys, even perfectly normal young boys, often were wiggly.  I imagine that it is more than that here, but I do wonder if the teacher has some unrealistic expectations regardless of her experience.  Secondly, as the parent of a child with inattentive type ADD (she's not hyperactive which makes it less noticeable to teachers), I have to say that the symptoms absolutely DO NOT only manifest themselves in a school setting.  In fact, that is one of the criteria for diagnosis: the symptoms HAVE TO be evident in multiple settings (school, home, extracurriculars, etc.).  

 

I tend to find it inappropriate for the teacher to suggest that there is something wrong with him this early in the year especially if this is the first time these types of concerns have come up.  I can certainly see her wanting to work with his parents to reign in difficult behaviors, but jumping from "we're having some problems and we need to work together to solve this" to "your son has something wrong and the state may need to assess him" is huge in my book.

Thanks for the well wishes. 

 

I agree with your statements. I met with the teacher again today and expressed my concerns and some of the statements and she assured me (as well as the assistant director of the school) that this is normal for a 4 year old and that we will just give it time for him to get on the same page as other kids. It turns out the he is the youngest child in the class and that all others turned 4 last year! I agree that the expectations may have been unrealistic and she even admitted it as well. As I told her, we will just watch him and see how he does over the next few weeks.

 

I'm not going to stress it too much since I watched him today with my own eyes and saw a difference in the behavior that she described.

08-23-2012 07:55 AM
ChristaN

Good luck; I do hope that things improve.  Two things about this thread have really been keeping it at the back of my mind although I haven't responded yet.  One is the teacher and her obvious irritation and the second is her mention of the state potentially "needing" to get involved and assess.  The later really bugs me, honestly.  I am the parent of two girls who are much older than your son, but I remember volunteering in their classes in early elementary and how the young boys, even perfectly normal young boys, often were wiggly.  I imagine that it is more than that here, but I do wonder if the teacher has some unrealistic expectations regardless of her experience.  Secondly, as the parent of a child with inattentive type ADD (she's not hyperactive which makes it less noticeable to teachers), I have to say that the symptoms absolutely DO NOT only manifest themselves in a school setting.  In fact, that is one of the criteria for diagnosis: the symptoms HAVE TO be evident in multiple settings (school, home, extracurriculars, etc.).  

 

I tend to find it inappropriate for the teacher to suggest that there is something wrong with him this early in the year especially if this is the first time these types of concerns have come up.  I can certainly see her wanting to work with his parents to reign in difficult behaviors, but jumping from "we're having some problems and we need to work together to solve this" to "your son has something wrong and the state may need to assess him" is huge in my book.

08-23-2012 05:45 AM
AKA_PI

UPDATE!!!!

 

I spoke with my son's teacher about midday yesterday and learned that he had yet another rough day. Lots of not paying attention and running around. I could tell she was a little annoyed even though she didn't want to say it. As a Pre-K teacher, I'm sure she has seen this and I'm curious to know what she's implemented before with other children to rectify it. Nonetheless, I told her that I will be visiting the class today, first watching him from the monitor to see what he is doing during different times of the day (particularly circle time) and then sitting in the classroom if need be to work with him. 

 

I keep reminding myself that he just turned 4 two weeks ago and there are some growing pains that he must go through. He is adjusting to new classmates, new rules and new things. I'm trying to be patient and understanding while we work this thing through. 

 

Last night we had several talks about why its important to listen to the teacher and do as your told. We even practiced circle time a few times to test it out. When I dropped him off this morning, I sat with him in class and we practiced circle time there and went over what we are supposed to do. I'm praying today is a little better but I certainly want to stay on top it before other things are introduced.

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