Mothering Forums - Reply to Topic

Thread: Queer Conceptions: December 2012 Reply to Thread
Title:
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Trackback:
Send Trackbacks to (Separate multiple URLs with spaces) :
Post Icons
You may choose an icon for your message from the following list:
 

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



  Additional Options
Miscellaneous Options

  Topic Review (Newest First)
02-06-2013 09:51 AM
esenbee2

Glad to see you back around PDX!  QC has moved to a February thread, http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1373561/queer-conceptions-february-2013

 

Feel free to join us over in QP&P, http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1373580/queer-pregnant-and-parenting-february-and-march-2013

02-06-2013 09:33 AM
PDXmother2b

Hello ladies,

 

It has been awhile since I have been on the boards...I was having a hard time logging onto the site!  I hope everyone is well!

 

I am currently almost 6 weeks pregnant after our first insemination!  We are very excited and blessed to have had the IUI work the very first time!  

 

Thanks for all of your support and encouragement!!!thumb.gif

12-31-2012 02:29 PM
mrsandmrs

SD - keep us posted. im holding you two in my heart. 

12-31-2012 01:55 PM
SanDiego78

thanks so much for all the support ladies, really means a lot...we're currently awaiting the results of our third beta (should have by this afternoon) to confirm the pregnancy is out of DWs system, or there's that itty bitty slight chance of a miracle and her #s increase.  The bleeding & clot passing was much less this time around, so we (and our dr) are holding onto a shred of hope.  Not to mention her second beta numbers doubled (but that also happened for us during the second beta, for our last chemical pregnancy) We're looking forward to our next game plan, and success in 2013.

 

happy new year to you all, and again thanks for all the support!  2013 will be a great year for us all thumb.gif

12-31-2012 11:13 AM
Sphinxy

Happy New Year! Please join me on our shining new thread to ring in 2013! champagne.gif

 

 

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1371183/queer-conceptions-january-2013

12-31-2012 11:07 AM
pokeyac

mrsandmrs-I had repeat betas every few days until it got over 10,000 and then an ultrasound at 6 weeks.  After the ultrasound, the RE released me to my regular OB and I made an appointment with her.  She did an ultrasound at 10 weeks just to confirm pregnancy.  I think they do that at all the first appointments.  I have heard of other women having more ultrasounds at the beginning, but I guess that is not how my place works.  Maybe your clinic just likes to be more cautious.  I hope everything looks great!

 

Regarding OPK's and timing--Fertility Friend considers OPK's a secondary fertility sign with mucus and other things being primary signs.  So it's more like the OPK confirms what the other signs are telling you.  I hate OPK's!  I got some false positives even though they claim not to have false positives.  Looking at CM and cervical position are probably better indicators of how fertile you are.  I know it's frustrating and confusing and I'm sorry, but you will figure it out.  My last cycle, I had a positive OPK early but my other signs didn't line up.  I had an u/s and trigger shot and I ovulated just when I would expect according to trigger timing and follicle size, and it worked.  The smiley face lied to me.  Good luck!

12-31-2012 11:07 AM
granite
Quote:
Originally Posted by rs11 View Post

 

AFM: It's been a crazy month. In addition to all the usual holiday craziness, DW's grandmother had a stroke and there's been some other family issues going on. We aren't going to be able to try in January after all. It's nothing to do with us; the sperm bank had a fit because the address on my driver's license doesn't match my current address, so I have to send in a copy of the utility bill (luckily, it's in my name) and by the time it gets there and is processed we'll have missed the window. So, instead of "waiting to O" I need to stay in "waiting to be ready". duh.gif

 

Oh, rs11, I'm so sorry! About your family issues, and the continued delays too... So nuts, the bank not approving of your ID. Mine doesn't even ask for any, now that I think about it: They just wanted my credit card info.

12-31-2012 11:04 AM
granite
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2justicemamas View Post

 

AFM: I've been horrible at temping this cycle and now FF says my temps are fluctuating too much, I'll blame it on the late night xmas gift sewing projects.

 

Me too! Though we don't celebrate Christmas, so it's been my own knitting projects that've got me staying up all hours... Having holiday time off work makes me a little obsessive!

 

Good luck with the coffee/booze... I'm still drinking decaf about once a week, and a couple glasses of wine too, but am not very attached to either anymore. Are you going to quit gluten, too? My naturopath says that that is the single most effective food-related change a person can make when trying to improve fertility. I've mostly cut it out of my diet, but have been enjoying some gluten-laden foods during all these holiday celebrations!

12-31-2012 10:56 AM
lizbian

Happy New Year ladies & all the best for 2013 & lots of BFPS ;) XOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXO

12-31-2012 10:49 AM
sotohana

Rs11- which bank are you using again?

 

2JusticeMamas- That's a good question! We both have always really wanted to carry. We will still go back and forth from month to month if we need to. It sort of depends on DW's cycle, though. I'm not sure if she lost her period for 5 months because of grief from her father and sister passing or if it was something different. She recently got a prescription of estrogen and since that's finished she's been shedding a lot of lining. We hope that its actually restarted a normal cycle. She used to be very regular. P.s. Your wife sounds very sweet in how she's doting on you :) 

12-31-2012 09:25 AM
rs11

Lindsey: Ditto what others have said. I've yet to see anyone yell TMI on this board.

 

Esenbee: Good luck! I hope this is it for you!

 

Sotohana: You have a neat blog. Good luck with it, and I hope you and your sister can have a better relationship from here on out.

 

2justice: The studies on coffee and alcohol affecting egg development conflict quite a bit. As long as you give up the leaded stuff a month out and don't have more than one or two drinks socially a couple of times a week you should be fine. (Also, to get really technical, eggs start developing at the cellular level a full year before they mature, which is why it can take so long for PCOS patients like me to get pregnant -we have to be on meds long enough to have a fresh batch of eggs all the way through).

 

AFM: It's been a crazy month. In addition to all the usual holiday craziness, DW's grandmother had a stroke and there's been some other family issues going on. We aren't going to be able to try in January after all. It's nothing to do with us; the sperm bank had a fit because the address on my driver's license doesn't match my current address, so I have to send in a copy of the utility bill (luckily, it's in my name) and by the time it gets there and is processed we'll have missed the window. So, instead of "waiting to O" I need to stay in "waiting to be ready". duh.gif

 

Since we have to wait anyway, does anyone on here have any extended profiles from our bank they wouldn't mind passing on? Thanks.

12-31-2012 09:09 AM
redrockband

SanDIego: So sorry for what you are going through. Hugs to you and DW hug2.gif

 

Welcome KWPX2 and Lindsey Welcome.gif

 

Esenbee: Sounds like timing worked out really great, good luck! Love the shipment arrival story, I can only imagine

 

Sphinxy: Sorry about AF and the wacky cycle. Are your cycles usually regular? 

 

Sotohana: Are you switching back and forth between yourself and DW or just sticking with DW after next month if it doesn't take? My DW is adamantly opposed to carrying right now. Are you or your DW wanting to carry more? (I feel like that is the most horribly worded question but it's monday morning)

 

AFM: I've been horrible at temping this cycle and now FF says my temps are fluctuating too much, I'll blame it on the late night xmas gift sewing projects. DW decided to buy a fancy schmancy fertility monitor. It should arrive on the 3rd, so not much help for this cycle but we still have at least one more tracking cycle before our 1st insem month. DW has been really cute and excited about baby making. After reading somewhere about egg development, she strongly requested that I stop drinking alcohol and coffee asap, we've only got 2 months to go, but she said that would suffice. So I have a couple weeks to wean myself off coffee and enjoy my last oatmeal stout. It makes me laugh to think how she'll be when I'm actually pregnant.

12-31-2012 04:17 AM
Sphinxy

Lindsey - I suppose there could be such as thing as TMI on this board, but I haven't found it yet! Anyway, I just wanted to throw out there the idea that you may have just discovered that you are a multi-ovulator. Do you usually OPK this early? I would keep watching the signs and OPKing even after your insem to see if you also O around your normal time. This is how fraternal twins happen - two eggs! Anyway, tons of EWCM and a positive digital are great signs. And, it is totally normal to get a negative OPK right after a positive - your Lh levels fluctuate throughout the day. The most important OPK is the positive, the negatives before and after don't mean much. You may just have a short surge.

 

If it were me, I would be doing that insem right away when the tank arrives today. What a fun way to ring in the new year. Good luck!! Peace.gif

 

Lots to say to others that I'll be able to write later, but I just had to get this out there!!

12-31-2012 12:00 AM
sotohana

LindseyW- Keeping my fingers crossed for you! It seems like really serendipitous timing! P.s. Your son is so cute! P.p.s. Thanks for the links to those articles! I'm really excited to read them. 

 

Esenbee- So excited for your TWW! Yay!

 

Darcy- We are using a WTBK donor as well. That was important to us because we didn't want to limit our child's options in the future. At this point, I think I'd prefer for the child not to seek their donor, but that choice will be up to the child. The more I read about the experiences of kids as they grew up, the more I realized this was the best option for us. I just couldn't start out with a KD because I had a mini breakdown when that thought came up. 

 

Friederike- Good on you! It sounds like you have a good plan. Wish it was easier for you to use interventions if you needed them, but I am a lot like you in that I really don't prefer interventions anyway. Fingers crossed tightly for your upcoming TWW!

 

P.S. I started blogging again- same site- and I told my sister about it tonight after she gave me a haircut. In the (not so distant) past we've had a really tumultuous relationship, but so much has changed (long, long story) recently that I feel really good about this decision to let her in a little bit more. At the same time, I've been working in therapy on the balance between sharing everything and sharing nothing, so I think I'm going to do better this time at sharing just the right amount of information to feel close to those I care about, but not so much that I'm completely overexposed. Wish me luck with that one, eh? I might have just dug my own grave. Or not. 

12-30-2012 11:49 PM
granite

Lindsey, the fact that you've got lots of EWCM is totally rad and not TMI in the least!!! CM is a fantastic topic of convo here at QC, where we stretch the limits of TMI in every post thumb.gif

 

That sucks about the confusing OPKs... But I'd go with the EWCM as a primary sign, weighing it just as heavily as a positive OPK. Any chance you can get a look at your cervix and see if it's open? (I try not assume that everyone's got a speculum, flashlight, and handmirror/willing partner, but with this group, it's definitely a distinct possibility!)

12-30-2012 11:35 PM
friederike Lindsey - those articles are great. I have to be at work to gain full acess but I will definitely read every single one of those. Thank you for the pointer. I tried to find stuff like this before but as I am not familiar with medical journals and databases I wasn't particularly sucessfull. I agree with Scorpio, great to see those studies exist.

Sorry to hear about your wacky cycle, it sounds totally crazy! I didn't think such a quick change of hormone status could be possible. Could you drop in for a quick ultrasound somewhere? Fingers are crossed for low temps today.
12-30-2012 08:35 PM
LindseyW Thanks for the support -- Im still not sure about using the sperm or not. My temps have been wacky and totally uninformative but... sorry if this is tmi... I have tons of ewcm (way more than usual) so I feel like I must still be fertile. To make matters more complicated, after the positive cheapie opk, I took a digital opk that was negative. But the next time that I peed I had a positive digital and then the following time it was negative again. This is soooo crazy. I usually have totally predictable cycles. Why would the opk change negative/positive/negative in the span of a about 4 hours? If my temp jumps significantly tomorrow, I'll send it back. If it drops or stays the same, we'll do the insemination as soon as it arrives. Keeping fingers crossed for a low temp!
12-30-2012 07:46 PM
scorpioma

Can I also add that it is awesome that they are studying insemination?!?!  Really fun to read those!  lurk.gif

 

 

12-30-2012 07:44 PM
scorpioma

hey everyone!

just wanted to check in, I'm in Santa Fe with DP, visiting a friend. relaxing, had a massage today, ate some great food. Temping is tricky which stinks because I am usually pretty OCD about it. I will do my best. we are two hours behind Michigan time.

As soon as we return, we are starting OPKs and starting the waiting game!

 

getting really excited for January, everyone seems to have good insemination energy here for 2013!

 

esenbee, so glad you are in 2ww and timing was excellent!

 

I have to chime in about the studies re: 2 insems. vs. 1 per cycle. I think that while doing it at the same time might not increase chances, doing it on different days "covers" more time and possiblydepending on the person's cycle, decreasing the chances of missing inseminating at or just before O.  But, if well timed, it is interesting that there isn't a difference! thanks for sharing those, Lindsey!

also, wild about the early positive OPK!! so glad you caught that! do you think you will insem. as soon as it comes? how long after surge do you usually O?

 

 

12-30-2012 06:08 PM
esenbee2 Lindsey -I totally understand the bond thing with your DS and his donor brother. Our DD has a half sister by her biological father. The sister's mother is a family friend and DD and the sister have played together a few times along with DD's cousins the same age and the sister's other sister who is the same age. There was an obvious bond between DD and her biological sister. They didn't know that they were sisters, but they were just DRAWN to each other and it seemed like the cousins and other sister didn't exist to them... It was some pretty powerful stuff to witness.
12-30-2012 05:58 PM
granite

Gorgeous pics, LindseyW! On Friday, DP and I had dinner with friends who had their DS using a WTBK donor, and they used the DSR to find other families. Like you, they've met one of these families IRL and were just amazed by how positive the experience was. It made me so excited about being able to do the same someday!

 

As for your wacky cycle, maybe you should just go for it! I mean see what tomorrow's OPK and temp are like, but it's so fortuitous that you saw that early positive OPK and also had arranged the early delivery of the swim team... FX for you!

 

Sounding great, esenbee! Let's hope those temps stay up nice and high...

12-30-2012 04:00 PM
LindseyW

Friederik - I love using Pubmed.com to research this stuff because it is all peer-reviewed scientific studies. I've found a few articles that you might find interesting for your decision-making process.

 

This study talks about the comparison of trigger verses natural LH surge - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22796236  

 

This one (and MANY others that I've read) says that there really is not any increase in success rates between 2 inseminations vs 1 per cycle - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19482652   

It seems crazy to think that one verses two doesn't really matter but I've read a whole bunch of studies that all show either a TINY improvement or none at all. It seems like an awful lot of money to spend on something that isn't shown to actually increase your odds of conception. 

 

There are a bunch of studies on ideal timing for both LH surge and also trigger shots too if you feel like searching around a bit. 

 

Granite - ugg, sounds like a tough roller coaster to be on my body seems to be going a bit crazy this cycle too - I wonder if the holidays throw things off? Who knows.

 

DarcySD - WTBK just seemed like an obvious choice for us. I guess I never really thought about why - it just seemed like that way we have more options. Nobody has to contact the donor but DS could if he decides that he wants to. When our DS is 18, he can choose whatever suits him best.

 

On a somewhat-related note, our sperm bank offers an optional family contact list. We used TSBC and they're a non-profit bank that specializes in underserved populations of women. Many other banks used to refuse to work with lesbians/single women so that is why TSBC was founded.  Now, 2/3 of their clients are queer, another 25% are single-by-choice. Anyway, we have been in contact with another family who used the same donor and we have nothing but wonderful things to say about that process. The other boy is 6, our son is 4.5 and we actually met them IRL over the summer when both families traveled to DC. Both boys have a really good understanding of how they are related to each other (better than I would have expected for their ages) and they just immediately bonded. Our son has cousins this age and other friends but I've never seen him just totally latch onto someone like he did with his donor sibling. It is difficult to describe but I'm just so grateful that DS has this relationship in his life. Here are some photos of the experience if you're interested - https://plus.google.com/photos/103396784413858823836/albums/5784864295644388465?banner=pwa

 

AFM -  I'm kind of freaking out because my cycle is totally weird this month. I normally have a really regular cycle and ovulate on CD16 or 17. Today is CD12 and I used an OPK just for the heck of it and it was positive. WTF!?! My temps have been totally weird because we've been travelling and don't seem to make any sense either. Because of the New Years holiday, we happen to have sperm being delivered tomorrow (earlier than I would have scheduled it). So, the big question is if I should just inseminate as soon as the tank arrives tomorrow or skip this month and send it back... I'm going to see what my temp does tomorrow. I've been going to acupuncture weekly for the past 3 wks. I wonder if that is messing with my schedule? Grrrrr. 

12-30-2012 02:36 PM
esenbee2 Fille, Please move me to the 2WW?
My temp went up again this morning, even though I am at the in-laws in their frigid house! I use a programmable thermostat at home, so I always know that the temp is the same. I tried to set the in-laws to the same temp, but they have an old one that isn't even digital, so it shows 70 and 80 and I had to guess the in-between..
It feels so weird to be in the 2WW again. Kind of unreal. I don't have the anticipation like I did the first 4 cycles a year ago. But it's only 2 DPO, so we'll see as time goes on! I think I will hold out to test til 12 DPO, but DSp might have me test as early as 9, like before...
12-30-2012 02:15 PM
granite

Hi Friederike, like some of the others, I don't have much advice from personal experience, since I'm working with a clinic and they won't do more than one per cycle (I mean, maybe they would, but they make it clear that it's not part of their standard protocol), but anyway that's for IUI so two IVIs is a different story. I totally get what you mean about wanting to avoid the hassle of clinic visits for as long as you can, especially if it's that far of a distance for you to travel. Though if you do end up having to go that route, it's nice to have an expert focused on your TTC project (without having to become that expert yourself!). Keep up the zen! om.gif

 

Welcome.gif KWPX2 and LindseyW! So glad you've joined us in this adventure.

 

esenbee, I laughed out loud at your story of getting the sperm at work. Wow. That's so nuts. Congrats on the timing! Here's some baby-dust for you: goodvibes.gif

 

I'm sorry that AF is here, sphinxy... I know what you mean about being hopeful despite the difficult timing, because I've had more than a couple friends who've gotten pregnant when it seemed so unlikely. Boo. FX for January.

 

AFM: My cycle's gone totally weird, with temps all over the place and CM changing from day to day. I think this is my body doing its PCOS-best to ovulate but just being unable to do it without the drugs I had the past two cycles. And I ran out of OPKs to boot, so I've got no clue what's going on with my hormones too... So glad I'm not insem'ing this time 'round. January FTW!

12-30-2012 01:43 PM
DarcySD

San Diego - so very sorry to hear what you and DW are going through 

 

KWPX2 - Welcome! Hope your stay is short and sweet! 

 

LindseyW -  Welcome! How did you decide on going the WTBK route? We are using a WTBK donor and don't know anyone else who is. Good luck on your upcoming insem. 

 

Friederike - Yay for cycle buddies!! It's coming up soon! Glad you were able to order all that sperm - sounds like you have a lot of options!!!

 

Twomommy - I am hoping we will get to trigger!! We are going early enough that I think we will catch it this month. 

 

esenbee2 - Thanks for the info on the sperm bank - we will definitely look into it if cost becomes an issue! You are brave getting the delivery at work. I didn't even think of that but might have to because waiting around my house all day and not being able to work is not good since I am already taking so much time off for inseminations, ultrasounds etc.. Looks like your timing went really well!! Very excited for you! 

 

sotohana - much luck for your upcoming insemination! Just a few more days! smile.gif

 

sphinxy - so sorry about AF - how are you doing?

 

mrs&mrs - So happy for you!! You must be over the moon!!

 

 

12-30-2012 11:16 AM
mrsandmrs

sphinxy - I'm sorry to hear that AF showed up. Your LP was so long, I thought for sure something awesome was happening. Sometimes those weird months where everything goes wrong just work out. Anyway, I hope next month is it for you. FX. 

 

Friederike - it sounds like a good plan! It is hard to imagine not having access to any of those services. We are so used to the idea of fertility services as a sort of "luxury" doctor's service, where the doctors compete for patients in this billion dollar industry. A lot of people do at-home IUIs, but your bank would have to provide washed sperm for that to be an option. It is awesome that you can be zen about it and confident that it's going to happen in its own time! I hope your Hobbit baby is en route. That comment cracked me up because I have a friend who's pregnant now and always talks about how her & her husband's genes can only produce a Hobbit baby. 

12-30-2012 10:17 AM
friederike Sphinxy Sorry about AF! I hope your body cooperates the way you want it to this cycle and you don't get too stressed out. Is it weird to wish you good healthy follicle growth?
Sotohana it's so cool that you and your partner are doing this together like this. Good luck to both of you!

Thank you everybody for your input. You're such a great help in this process. Thank you! I went ahead and ordered four 0,5ml straws, 2 with MOT 20 and 2 extra with MOT 10. Now I have another week to ponder whether to use those to increase the quantity like Sphinxy suggested or to use it for seperate insems like Esenbee suggested. There is no danger in mixing vials as long as it is the same donor, is there? Oh the joy of obsessing over details :-)
We also switched donors. The guy is a little Hobbit at 5'7 and mixed with my 5'3 it would probably make a teeny little babe. Oh, and since Mrs mentioned IUI's - I don't really have the option for that where I live. Fertility clinic access is limited for same sex couples over here by a regulation in the medical association's code of conduct. They fear paternity lawsuits. (Sounds unreal, but true.) So I will try at home 4-5 times and then consider switching to a clinic, which would mean a 4 to 8 hour trip (one way) depending on where I go. That's pretty hard to integrate into a workday. I am also very reluctant to stimulate in any way as I am not particularly keen on having multiples. Last cycle my body already produced two follicles without stim meds and I have never had an anovulatory cycle that I know of, so I don't think it is necessary at the moment. It's only try number two for us, so I am still feeling pretty zen about it all.
12-30-2012 09:21 AM
esenbee2 sphinxy -so sorry to hear about AF. It gets really heartbreaking the longer you try. I remember our third time trying I got teary eyed and the fourth time, I had an all out melt down. Hugs to you! I'm glad to hear that you have determination for next cycle!
12-30-2012 08:48 AM
sotohana

I wish I had some good advice for you, Friederike. From my gut, it would seem to me that you could rely on one vial with a higher motility since you'll be triggering and doing a pre-o ultrasound, which would signal to me that your timing will be really good. Again, this is just based on my gut feeling though. Either way you choose, your choice will be the best for you and I wish you lots of sticky baby dust!dust.gif

 

Sphinxy, I hear you on wanting to "get it right this time." I think that can be a seductive type of thinking- that we have control and if it goes right its because of our doing and if it goes wrong that its something we did incorrectly. Yes we have some control, but so much of it is magical happenstance too. Try to take it easy on yourself. I know you did all you could this try. hug2.gif

 

AFU- I'm on CD 9 and DW is on CD 5. She started temping this morning and we're really excited to see how her cycle goes now that she's finished her estrogen prescription. It did trigger her period like the Doctor said it would. This month I'll be the one who tries and she will have a monitoring cycle. May I please be moved to Waiting to O? If it doesn't work for me this month, we'll move back to DW next month. It oughtta work one of these months, eh? smile.gif

12-30-2012 06:14 AM
esenbee2 friederike - If you would like to do two insems, taking advantage of the 25th anniversary sale, I think I would do a 10 MOT at 12 hours past the trigger and then do a 20 MOT at the normal recommended time after trigger.
This thread has more than 30 replies. Click here to review the whole thread.

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off