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01-17-2013 01:30 PM
elizabeth67

Okay, so I thought I would be saying goodbye to this thread and hello to one of the TTC threads. My husband is finally ready! Just like that! He said February, then I haggled him down to January, and lo and behold what seemed an arbitrary date for starting TTC is here and by golly he really is ready.

 

But I somehow though that by now I would have landed a few contracts in my career (music therapy). That was my plan- land a few contracts, get my feet wet in my career, then have my baby and continue to do a few hours a week- on my schedule!- and making a life sustaining income at that. But I haven't landed a contract yet because it turns out I still have a lot to learn about marketing.

 

So now what? I guess I'll hold off on taking those prenatal vitamins, at least for a few months.

 

Any advice? Has anyone tried to grow a private practice/business and a baby at the same time? Is it possible? Is it too risky? I thought we were finally ready, and now looking at my bottle of prenatal vitamins and all the expensive healthy organic food I splurged on to give my potential embryo the best start possible makes me want to cry and the whole thing just seems . . . well, dumb. Naive. Immature.  :-(

01-08-2013 08:33 AM
CorriJ

I'm still here... back? Which ever. 2012 was a long and short year for me. I got a job in January, short term a stepping stone to something better. Then a better job in sept, which is likely where I'll be staying from now on. So no time for any babies for me. Our possibly trying date is pushed back to late this year, early next. Hopefully I'll be fully settled in my job by then and we'll have a little money set aside. Things went, I hesitate to say great, but there were more ups then downs last year for sure. 

 

I'm going to try to actually be involved in the board this year. Crossing my fingers that things will be more settled down for us in 2013.

01-07-2013 06:42 PM
DanielleNZ Welcome to the thread Billie Jo! I look forward to hearing updates about how your getting on searching for jobs and a place to live, all the best with that! So exciting.
AFM charting is going well due to ovulate Friday and all signs are pointed to that happening. Which is fabulous as I only stopped bcp on December 31st during my last af. I am wondering if dh will have changed his mind about when we start ttc. This month or next. Although realistically next month is better timing.
01-06-2013 04:23 PM
MarineGurl020412

Hi! My name is Billie Jo and I am a military wife to my Active Duty Marine hubby. :) January 15th we will have been married 10years joy.gif and we have 3 daughters together (9 1/2yrs , 7 1/2yrs and almost 4yrs) and my husband has an older daughter who lives with her mom (15yrs). We currently live in Okinawa, Japan and are planning on getting out of the military this coming summer. As a result of that we are putting off TTC our 4th child until we lay out a job and housing situation. I began charting about 6yrs ago but fell off when pregnant and nursing because my cycles were all sorts of wacky for those 3yrs. I got a new thermometer and I am trying to 'retrain' my brain to remember to actually temp first thing in the morning.

Anyone have a favorite APP for charting? I have the TCOYF software and I have their new APP but I am not sure if I am thrilled with the way it is laid out.

01-06-2013 03:49 PM
Lidamama84 Yay! Good for you, Erigeron! DH also suggested that we try this month, so we have been TTCing since Friday. If we don't catch this egg, I won't want to try again until the fall because of birth dates (I don't want to overlap my kids' birth months, or ours. I share a bday week with my mom and it sucks). Maybe we'll share a DDC again!
01-06-2013 10:03 AM
erigeron

I started a blanket back in 2008 for the baby I wanted and was having to wait for. (I spent a LOT of time waiting for the first one, which is why waiting a few months for the second one has really been doing my head in.) So I can sympathize. Although for some reason working on said blanket didn't really help me feel any better about having to wait.

 

Anyhoodle, DH agreed we can start trying! He talked to one of his friends at work and I guess she quelled his fears about the process. So now he's all "It shouldn't take that much extra time" and "We'll work it out somehow" (these, of course, being things I have said myself, but apparently they are different from someone else rather than from me). I started my period yesterday so I guess I'll be migrating over to one of the TTC threads. Best luck to all of you and hopefully a short wait!

01-05-2013 10:15 PM
DanielleNZ
Quote:
Originally Posted by erigeron View Post

Aaaand another fairly close friend is pregnant and due in July, which makes 2 due in July (one of whom is somebody we hang out with on a nearly weekly basis), and my best friend (out of state, unfortunately) had a baby a week and a half ago, and there are at least 4 adorable little ones born in October who keep popping up in my Facebook news feed. I mean, I don't begrudge anyone their bundles of joy or bundles of joy to be. The more babies the merrier. But it was supposed to be MY TURN again! :( Still waiting for a verdict on how much time this portfolio process takes. I want to say something like "I don't care how much time it takes. If you let me have another baby in the fall I will watch both kids 100% and you won't have to do ANY childcare and can focus on your portfolio". But I know a. I'll never be able to actually adhere to that resolution and b. he wouldn't want it anyway because he wants to, yanno, spend time with his child. Le sigh. 

 

Oh, and meantime I feel like a crummy parent to a toddler. I can only read kiddie books, eat pretend food, identify alphabet blocks, etc. for a short period of time before my brain starts to kind of short-circuit. How will I do with an infant and a toddler? Am I just nuts for wanting another, would it actually be best for me to admit that little kids aren't really my thing and stop at one? 

 

I know I need to stop comparing my life to other people's. Somehow it's easier to compare your life to other people's when you're dissatisfied, amirite? I need to work on the being satisfied thing. 

Welcome Erigeron! I hope you are able to find out really soon how long the portfolio is going to take. I hear you on the fact that so many people are already having babies. Number three has been in the pipeline for dh all along, but only in the last 3-4 months have i been on board. But now the waiting is doing my head in.... and i only have one more month to wait! maybe thats the problem, its so close. We are charting this month as I have recently stopped bcp. Should (fingers crossed) be ovulating at the end of this week. I am already crafting for the baby...... yes the one thats not conceived yet. Am i going crazy. I have a wee stash of things I have been knitting for awhile, and in the past two or three days 2 pairs of booties and a hat have also made it to the pile. I have only one thing I want to do before we get pregnant and its wear a cocktail dress i brought a few months ago before i won't fit it again for awhile. So dh suggested we put some money aside and go to a gorgeous restaurant in the city in the next few weeks. So thats also something else to look forward too. DH is back at work tomorrow after a 2 week holiday so i need to plan some activities for the boys and I to keep us busy. Hope everyone is well!

01-03-2013 10:10 AM
Lidamama84

Actually, erigeron, I found it easier with a baby and a toddler (in some ways, not in others, let's be honest), because there was more of a distraction for the older child, so it wasn't always ME. My DD1 is VERY high needs, and STILL does not play by herself well, but with another baby, she had more activities to do "helping" mommy. And less play food and books. But the play food is still a big part of our lives. I just lay on the couch reading or whatever, or I go off and do my own stuff, and she brings me "food" or gives me a checkup. It's a bit like benign neglect. I don't really enjoy playing kiddie games, so I don't do it for long stretches. When I'm home I do my own stuff, and she's welcome to join me, and I also make time to play with her, but I can't stick it out for long. But I do love being a mommy, and I definitely want a big family.

 

Also, consider how much of a different person your DD will be by the time you have another little one.

12-31-2012 07:29 PM
erigeron

Aaaand another fairly close friend is pregnant and due in July, which makes 2 due in July (one of whom is somebody we hang out with on a nearly weekly basis), and my best friend (out of state, unfortunately) had a baby a week and a half ago, and there are at least 4 adorable little ones born in October who keep popping up in my Facebook news feed. I mean, I don't begrudge anyone their bundles of joy or bundles of joy to be. The more babies the merrier. But it was supposed to be MY TURN again! :( Still waiting for a verdict on how much time this portfolio process takes. I want to say something like "I don't care how much time it takes. If you let me have another baby in the fall I will watch both kids 100% and you won't have to do ANY childcare and can focus on your portfolio". But I know a. I'll never be able to actually adhere to that resolution and b. he wouldn't want it anyway because he wants to, yanno, spend time with his child. Le sigh. 

 

Oh, and meantime I feel like a crummy parent to a toddler. I can only read kiddie books, eat pretend food, identify alphabet blocks, etc. for a short period of time before my brain starts to kind of short-circuit. How will I do with an infant and a toddler? Am I just nuts for wanting another, would it actually be best for me to admit that little kids aren't really my thing and stop at one? 

 

I know I need to stop comparing my life to other people's. Somehow it's easier to compare your life to other people's when you're dissatisfied, amirite? I need to work on the being satisfied thing. 

12-28-2012 09:26 PM
DanielleNZ That is wonderful news greenmama!!!!
Welcome Kuriboshoe! I am sure your husband will come around once your nephew arrives, there is nothing like a tiny new baby to get someone clucky.
AFM not too much longer to wait, I will chat with dh this evening about coming off bcp so that my body has a chance to get back to it's normal routine, so charting this month and trying in the middle of February fx.
12-28-2012 06:01 PM
erigeron

Yay Greenmama! 

 

Welcome kuriboshoe. Hopefully your stay with us is short. :) 

 

DH and I had another set-to in mid-December which led to us mutually deciding to reconsider our decision in light of the question of "How much time will this portfolio-writing process really take away from his time with the family?" So now we're instead waiting for him to figure out the answer to THAT question, which he can only get from his colleagues, and they're on break right now so nobody is responding to his emails. So we're ... waiting. Christmas Day would have been a good day to try, so we've missed a cycle. I'm mostly okay right now just because I feel like I finally got through to him about wanting this to be an US decision and wanting him to consider advice he has gotten but not lay the smackdown of "This is what my coworkers said" and give them more voice than me in when we reproduce. Anyhoo, it's going to probably be another 3 weeks before we even start to get any information about this and so we are probably going to miss a whole 'nother cycle. Grr. I better keep busy with other stuff. 

12-28-2012 04:51 PM
*GreenMama* Doing well here! Better than well actually. DH just said he's ok for #4, but ttc somewhere between Jan of 14 - Jan of 15. I'm stupidly excited knowing he's really really ok with the 4th! So the wait is officially on! joy.gif
12-28-2012 02:32 PM
kuriboshoe

Hey all, I'm Becki, I'm new here, waiting to try and looking for a new forum. My DH and I have been married for five years and I've had baby fever about that long, but I'm hoping 2013 is the year we finally start trying. I'm 27, he's 28. We got married young, so we've been building our lives, careers, bought a house, etc. and this fall I started grad school. He said a baby would be a great graduation present, but I don't want to wait that long - it will probably take me 3.5 years to finish at the slow pace I'm taking classes.

 

DH has been very anxious about starting a family - he wants to, but hasn't been able to give me a TTC date. I've gone back and forth between baby craziness and feeling OK with the wait for years now.

 

My SIL is now pregnant and due in June, first baby in the family, so that's definitely affecting both of us! He seems eager to get some experience with our new nephew, and I'm hoping that means he'll decide we can start trying this summer. I've made my intentions clear that I think this summer would be fantastic, but haven't gotten a "yes" yet - he said he's thinking about it.

 

Nice to meet you girls and hope I can wait with you!

12-27-2012 07:27 PM
DanielleNZ How is everyone doing?
Plodding along here after the huge stress that was Christmas. Dh is still on break which is lovely, even though the weather is absolutely awful it's been raining for the past week, it's humid and it should be gorgeous and sunny..... Maybe next year.
Dh and I have spoken today about when will start trying and I was hoping to start in January on my next cycle, but he wants to get a few other things so suggested we wait three months but I'd like a spring/summer baby so we hope to start in February. Which seems like ages away. Well at least we can get prepared a bit more. Recently bought a new people mover, and carseats are not an issue. Baby will sleep in our room for the foreseeable future after it is born so not too many things to organise. We will be doing things a little differently this time, I co slept with ds2 and he was a terrible sleeper so for 22months dh and I didn't sleep in the same bed, it really messed with our relationship. So we will need to figure some sort of sleeping arrangement out so that doesn't happen again. Hope you are all well ladies!
12-19-2012 04:48 PM
DanielleNZ

Hey there Cindy, for us age is a bit of an issue, we're both 24, hard to know if we should wait or not, at least until we own our own home. But right now we are financially sound. and I worry about the gap getting too big between our babies. I have 2 ds's D who is 5yrs and L who is 2.5yrs ( who is currently eating banana cake with a ski glove? orngbiggrin.gif) I'd like to get things moving pretty soon, I have just been diagnosed with moderately severe panic disorder so need to get that under control before we start trying. With you on being feeeertile, ds2 was created on the first try. Ds2 keeps asking for a baby sister.... no pressure or anything. He'll make such a sweet big brother. 

12-19-2012 04:25 PM
*GreenMama* Hi Danielle! I really don't want to be done either. DH and I are both 33, but the last two weren't exactly planned. We are feeeeeertile, so I'm thinking a 4th will happen whether we plan one or don't, like as not.
12-18-2012 10:47 AM
DanielleNZ

Hi there Green Mama, my youngest is just over 2 as well and it has been since he started getting more independant I have been thinking actively about having another baby. Its hard to imagine another baby as we seem so set in our current routine but its also hard to think that we are done ( dh and I are 24) Thinking we will wait until the end of this summer/ beginning of autumn before start ttc.

12-17-2012 07:45 PM
*GreenMama* Joining the thread. I'm starting to get the baby itch again. My youngest will be two on Thursday. Dh would really like to be done with kids, but I just have this feeling there is a 4th for us. I'm thinking we will be waiting at the very least until Spring or Fall, but it may be longer.
12-16-2012 12:32 PM
DanielleNZ

Hey there Ladies, I'm new here, the decision to try for #3 has been rather long winded, its taken me a year to get to a place where I feel really happy to add to our family. But I am desperate for our next baby to be born in summer ( I live in the sothern hemisphere) as I get the winter blues very badly and have quite severe anxiety. Which I am hoping I can somehow overcome. So hopefully I will stop taking the pill in the next few weeks and we will start trying. Dh would love a baby girl. I am happy either way. He or she will be born here at home. I look forward to getting to know you all and your journey through the wait until your BFP!

12-11-2012 01:41 PM
seattlemamma

New here. My Dh and I going to start ttc a girl in May/June 2013. Will be happy either way, but here's to hoping. I look forward to getting to know you all.
 

11-28-2012 12:21 AM
sucklein

I am almost planning to have a baby for almost 2 years but still no luck and still hoping for the coming of 2013 will have a great success in having a baby

11-27-2012 08:55 PM
erigeron
Quote:
Originally Posted by elizabeth67 View Post

 

I have my own doubts- we don't live near friends/family, for instance. But I've been told numerous times that there is no "right" time to have a child, and there is no "ready" for parenthood. Thoughts?

I agree, but I do think some times are more right or more ready than others. If you're in a stable marriage and financially you can swing the cost, and you're not on the verge of doing something that's going to throw your life into chaos for several years (like go back to school or join the Peace Corps or something), that's probably as right and ready as it gets. Yeah, you can always wait until you have more money and more time and more whatever, but enh. The career thing is really up to you--if you find career fulfillment (whatever that ends up meaning to you) then having a baby could still throw a monkey wrench into it. Or you could not have any problems with it. 

 

'Course, my husband doesn't want baby #2 to be born until after he submits for tenure, and he is totally impervious to any arguments to the contrary including all variants of "We have enough money and if you need more time to work we can hire a sitter and we'll work it out". So our new date to start trying is April, for a birth in or after January 2014. *sigh*. 2012 is almost over. April isn't *that* far off. It mostly just bugs me that he made the decision to stop trying unilaterally and that was it. And even though that was months ago and he's acknowledged that he approached it badly, and he's apologized, it still stings. 

11-27-2012 08:20 AM
elizabeth67

Waiting is so difficult. My husband agreed to start trying in February, but I am worried that he isn't really ready and he's just trying to make me happy. When I read the birthing stories in Ina May Gaskin's "Spiritual Midwifery," the male partners play such a vital role. My husband has valid concerns- he wants to wait until we have more money, he wants me to reach career fulfillment prior to motherhood, he wants us to have land- a permanent and stable place to call home. I told him that I don't want to wait until my late 20s because so many women I know who start trying at that age can't get pregnant, and I want my body to be in the best shape. I'm ready, and I'm okay with putting my career on hold or on the slow track so that I can be a mother.

 

Should I believe my husband when he says he's ready to try in February?

 

I have my own doubts- we don't live near friends/family, for instance. But I've been told numerous times that there is no "right" time to have a child, and there is no "ready" for parenthood. Thoughts?

08-30-2012 11:02 AM
CoBabyMaker

DH had a change of heart and last night he said we could start trying....like in the middle of sex decided to tell me.  Haha.  Now I'm freaked out.  I have been taking an herb that is not ok during TTC/pregnancy.  I guess I will stop now though I kind of wanted to finish taking what I have of it since it's helping me.  There is always something I guess.  Anyhow, wooohoooo!  Now there is just the 2 week wait which feels like forever. 
 

08-27-2012 05:22 PM
CoBabyMaker

Welcome ladies!

Gaaaahhhh!  Waiting is soooo hard.  DH and I have agreed on November, which I know is SO close but it seems too long since we've been talking about another baby for a year now.  I just found out today that another of my close friends is pregnant.  That means that two of my closest friends, probably the people I see the most,  are pregnant now.  And. I'm. Still. Waiting.  I am completely and genuinely excited for them-I just want to join them so much. 

erigeron, I know what you mean about not even being allowed to try....I have never taken No well.

08-26-2012 08:46 AM
erigeron

I'm in this tribe for the next however-long. It doesn't seem too active (though I guess that's good?) My husband and I have one daughter born 6/11. We've been married since 8/07. Pretty much ever since we had her, we've had in mind that we'd aim for the next to be born in summer 2013. DH is a teacher at the college level and that gives him the whole summer off to spend with me and the kids. We were trying for a few cycles with no success. But he just changed his mind and decided he doesn't want to have the next baby be born until after he submits for tenure review, which won't be until the first half of 2014, which has us waiting to ttc until some time in 2013. I'm frustrated... we had this plan all along and he changed it on me, and I feel that we COULD handle another baby at this point even if the time isn't the best. Add to this that I spent 2 years wanting a baby and having him put me off before we started ttc DD. I was in school at the time so he had a good reason, and I know he has a good reason now, but it just feels like my entire life is made up of waiting until he decides to let me have a baby. I think I just need something to take my mind off it... 'cause that works so well. Any other project I could come up with would pale in comparison; I can't buy myself off wanting to have a baby by getting interested in something else. 

 

DD is still nursing and still needs a lot of attention. It isn't even so much that I SO want one RIGHT NOW, but it's hard to shift gears from ttc, and I would welcome one, and I hate being told that I can't even try, y'know? When we were trying I wasn't so broken up when I got my period each month because I wasn't so, so ravenous about wanting a baby (like I was with DD). But not even having the option really bugs me. An oops isn't likely... I know my fertility signs and he knows that I know, and if he asks me for an honest estimate of how likely a conception is, I wouldn't lie. It would almost be easier if I didn't know my fertility signs at this point. 

08-08-2012 02:11 PM
ValarieR

New here, so....  wave.gif

 

I have a 2.5 yr old DS, divorced from his dad, and have been with Mr. Right for a little over a year. He isn't sure he even *wants* kids, so who knows how long I'll be waiting! I told him I have to have more kids to be happy, and if we're going to be together, he sort of has to get on board at some point... but I don't want to rush/pressure him either.

 

So, I practice the Law of Attraction - I focus on removing the IUD around Christmas, and getting a BFP next spring :P om.gif

 

How do you ladies handle the constant longing?! Every time I see a baby out in public, it's like every ounce of me is screaming "make one! make one!"

 

/sigh... how long do I have to wait, again?!?!?! praying.gif

 

~Valarie~

07-17-2012 09:26 AM
sleepingbeauty

That's too exciting!!  I feel like I see babies and bumps EVERYWHERE.  Drives me nuts too...

I got a new thermometer today!  Restarting temping first thing tomorrow morning! joy.gif

07-16-2012 08:04 PM
elizabeth67

Husband is almost ready to start TTC. I can see it in his eyes. I've wanted to get pregnant for almost 2 years now!!! Its been so hard to wait. Now I'm so nervous. I keep thinking "am I too young? am I too crazy? will I be able to develop my career? we have NO ONE to help us out!!!"

 

Went to the amusement park with work today and saw everyone with their families (and BABIES). Drove me nuts! We could start TTC as soon as this month or next month! Should I wait? Should I shape up? Oh boy!

07-16-2012 06:58 AM
sleepingbeauty

HAhaha, I do too...but in a "oh my god, we can't do this right now...but I so want to" kind of way.

Going to try and put the walking into play today...

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