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Thread: Queer, Pregnant, and Parenting! November, December, and January 2013!!! Reply to Thread
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  Topic Review (Newest First)
02-05-2013 01:56 PM
pokeyac

Thank you!

02-05-2013 01:43 PM
Tourneymama

Thanks Pokey! I will head out of here and try to find that one!! Congrats on your boy also!! I did get to read far enough back to see what you were having ;)

02-05-2013 12:50 PM
pokeyac

Hi Tourneymama!  Congratulations on the baby boy!  Feel free to join us over on the new February/March thread.  I will also add you to the July due dates if that's ok with you.

02-05-2013 12:21 PM
Tourneymama

Wow, just realized that I have not been around in months!! Life has been busy arond here :) We are now 19 weeks pregnant & found out that we are having a baby BOY!! So thrilled and excited! Time is just fying by with this pregnancy. I am going to try and catch up here somewhat, hope al is well with everyone!! I will do my best to be around more often. <3

02-01-2013 01:24 PM
bigfoot

Hi AmandaHope! I guess I am new and have never filled this out:

 

Name/Username? bigfoot

Who is in your family? me (36), DW (username mrsandmrs, 30), the teenager (16 and learning to drive, ack!)

What pronouns do you and your family members use? she, she, he

If you're pregnant, when are you due? DW is due early September with twins (so perhaps late August?)

If you already have kids, tell us two interesting things about each of them.

Our little nerd is a Knowledge Bowl superstar. When he was born one of the first things the doctor said was, "This baby has dimples!"

If you work outside the home (or inside the home at something other than parenting), what do you do?

I am a 911 dispatcher. It's a pretty cool job. Never a dull day at work, unless it is a dull day and I get to read a book. So never a dull day.

If you stay home with your kids, what do your days tend to look like?

I wish!  But I have alternating 3 and 4 day weekends and look forward to lots of long, fun days with the twins.

What are your favorite things to do when you're not working/doing the grunt work of parenting?

Cooking, baking, taking photos, going on road trips, growing food, taking DW on dates, family movie dates, watching chicken TV in the backyard.

02-01-2013 12:45 PM
AmandaHope

Has anyone heard anything from AmandaHope or LibraryLady recently? I've been wondering how they are doing.

Hi to everyone else!

AFM: Our 15-month-old is never a great sleeper, but he is having an especially tough time this week. It's hard--we're not willing to let him cry much, and since he reverse-cycles I want him to get as much breast milk as he needs, but I am tired. My current hope is that at some point in the next year I will sleep 6 hours in a row.

 

Funny you should ask...

I had fallen out of the habit of checking this board, in part because I'm trying to finish my book manuscript this spring (finally, and as required to keep my job...), but I'd been missing you all and wondering about all the newbies, so I came over to check in and found your message, Esher. I was so happy to see you here! And Max! (so sorry about the heartbreaking adoption news, though...). And many other familiar folks, along with all the newer members whom I'm looking forward to getting to know.  I'm on the Facebook MDC board and depend on it for help with parenting issues...mostly Lilah's sleep challenges.  But I like the longer updates here and the other people.  So I'm back!

 

Brief intro for those who need it:

 

Name/Username? AHope

Who is in your family? Me (37), DP (39), DD1 (akaZ) age 10, and DD2 (Lilah) age 18 months.

What pronouns do you and your family members use? she all around (even the dog, though who knows? maybe she'd prefer he)

If you're pregnant, when are you due? sadly, no.  I loved being pregnant both times and really miss it some days, but we are DONE!

If you already have kids, tell us two interesting things about each of them.

Z: She still adores taking baths, especially bubble baths with Lilah; she is learning Mandarin.

L: She just started experimenting with plurals and possessives; she is obsessed with music of all kinds whenever she is awake.

If you work outside the home (or inside the home at something other than parenting), what do you do?

I'm an assistant professor of Women's Studies and History.

If you stay home with your kids, what do your days tend to look like?

Some days I wish I did, though I suspect I'm not cut out for it.  My dream job would be my current one, but only half time and on the west coast. (I'm a Seattle girl stuck in the midwest because of my career). 

What are your favorite things to do when you're not working/doing the grunt work of parenting?

Singing songs and dancing around the living room with my girls; yoga (though I find it hard, both physically and mentally); hanging out in bed talking with DP (which happens rarely); visiting friends and family on the west coast; skiing.

02-01-2013 03:32 AM
seraf CaNanny, I knew it was an enzyme but had forgotten the name. My boys drink it fine if I simply freeze it immediately. When Sara was out of town, she brought back fresh milk that was frozen once home. I gave the boys some in a bottle. They refused all bottles without tasting for several bottles after that. So we don't really have a problem, I was mentioning it to planet in case that was part of W's (hmmm, can I do that? Lol) deal.

I actually tried scalding milk a few babies ago. It didn't seem to help for us. O says he remembers nursing with his mama with the SNS and said that he didn't like it because the milk tasted funny. He was under a year and he still took it, so I'm not sure what that means exactly.
01-31-2013 10:10 PM
cananny
Quote:
Originally Posted by seraf View Post

Planet, I would still let your mom have a day or two alone with him unless she is uncomfortable with it. Babies are very different when their parents are home, especially when their parents are home but not responding to them. Just because he doesn't go to sleep on the bed or in a rocker or stroller for you doesn't mean he won't for her. Our solution to the bottle thing was just to offer it when the milkies were out of the house. My older kids refused bottles. That meant Ari went 10 hour days without milk starting at 5 months. She was offered bottles, cups and solids. If he has already successfully taken bottles, he will come around again probably. One other thing about milk, do you taste it? If I freeze milk immediately after pumping, it tastes sweet when thawed and served. If I leave it in the fridge for a day before serving it, it has a funky (soapy?) aftertaste. Sara's does the same. They boys took one suck on a yucky bottle while Sara was out of town and they refused the next several bottles.

seraf... your milk probally has high lipase .. ive had several moms I have worked for who had this same issue.. the fix is to scald the milk just a little bit.. then freeze it... 

 

heres one article about it

 

http://breastfeedingbasics.info/lipase-and-bad-tasting-breast-milk

 

:) my last night nanny family had this problem and she was able to scald the milk and then freeze and the baby would drink it again :)

01-31-2013 07:18 PM
seraf 9 hours is a long time for anyone to be with a baby. Breaking up the day will probably e nice for everyone.
01-31-2013 06:32 PM
planet Thank you for your replies!! My mom can hold Wylie, she just has to be sitting down. She is able to carry him down the stairs and walk with him for short periods of time. W will try the bottle suggestions! We never give him a bottle when I'm home, but we can try wrapping papa in one of my stinky shirts. The weird thing is that he was fine with it before.

seraf, I appreciate your optimism!

We are now looking for a friend who can watch him for the second half of the day. So my mom can still have her time, just not got a full 9 hrs...
01-31-2013 04:56 PM
stel Hey- I'm a parenting queer mama but I mostly just read. I wanted to say that we tried everything to get my son to take a bottle and what finally worked was me being out of the house and my partner wrapped in a shirt I'd been wearing for a couple of days. It helped him turn a corner and then he quickly learned to take a bottle like a pro. Hope it works for you, too!
01-31-2013 01:37 PM
carmen358 Seraf, Soren is really working hard!

Planet, I guess I missed this but can your mom not hold him even when she's sitting down? I would imagine that will be very challenging for a variety of reasons. I'm not trying to freak you out but what if there was an emergency? Could she pick him up at all?

Cordelia, good to hear the anatomy scan went well smile.gif

Cananny, no, we will wait until baby arrives to find out the sex....we love the surprise, it's super exciting and at least for DD's birth really added to an awesome experience smile.gif
01-31-2013 11:03 AM
pokeyac

Hi Cordelia!  I'm cool with having a boy.  Little boys are so cuddly and sweet.  I know it will be a challenge, but raising a girl would be challenging too.  DW is a little nervous.  It's kind of ironic because she's really into sports and has more male friends than I do, and she has a really easy time getting to know and talking with men.  She'll be great but it's ok to be nervous.  I'm so glad to hear everything looked great on the u/s!  Are you letting the sex be a surprise?  I'm sorry about KD's mom.  I hope DS is able to meet her.

 

AFM--I started a new thread for Feb/March.  I thought we would try the bi-monthly thing and see how it goes.  If we want to go back to quarterly, at least we will be back on a quarterly schedule in April.  http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1373580/queer-pregnant-and-parenting-february-and-march-2013

01-31-2013 10:45 AM
cordelia15

Hi All!  So much news! 

 

pokey . . congrats on the boy, I think at least in the short term you will find that doing for a boy or girl are pretty much the same!  I was worried about having a boy the first time but am over the moon with him (I know you just mean it's different and not that you didn't want a boy) but so far, it's all just love !

 

cananny. . so close!!!  and yes, so glad you have folks around for help! 

 

wishin. . hope you feel better soon 

 

carmen.  YAY for 2nd trimester!  

 

planet.  have you tried different bottles?  also when they know there is no choice, they often change their minds. . I have friends who had good success from changing bottles. . or others who went straight to cups, even with little babies! 

 

bigfoot. . love the names. . did I miss a post?  does he know their are two yet or just giving boy and girl names in general. . 

 

AFU. . had out anat scan this week and everything looked good.  We are taking a last minute trip out to west texas this weekend to try to introduce DS to our KD's mom who is very sadly dying.  They have not had a chance to meet yet.  We thought she would be fine this weekend but has taken a drastic turn for the worse yesterday and is in ICU where they don't let kids.  Hoping she gets a last minute rally and can meet him but if not we will still go to support our KD who is one of my dearest friends.  If you can send some good vibes our way that would be good, though of course if it is in her best interest to leave now, we wish that for her. . so hard. .   

01-31-2013 10:38 AM
pokeyac

Hi planet!  I'm feeling good these days.  The second trimester is pretty nice. We've been rearranging our apartment and moving a lot of stuff, and I get tired but it's nothing like before.  I've had a few aches here and there but now I feel good.  How are you doing?  How is it going being back at work?

01-31-2013 10:08 AM
seraf Planet, I would still let your mom have a day or two alone with him unless she is uncomfortable with it. Babies are very different when their parents are home, especially when their parents are home but not responding to them. Just because he doesn't go to sleep on the bed or in a rocker or stroller for you doesn't mean he won't for her. Our solution to the bottle thing was just to offer it when the milkies were out of the house. My older kids refused bottles. That meant Ari went 10 hour days without milk starting at 5 months. She was offered bottles, cups and solids. If he has already successfully taken bottles, he will come around again probably. One other thing about milk, do you taste it? If I freeze milk immediately after pumping, it tastes sweet when thawed and served. If I leave it in the fridge for a day before serving it, it has a funky (soapy?) aftertaste. Sara's does the same. They boys took one suck on a yucky bottle while Sara was out of town and they refused the next several bottles.
01-31-2013 10:00 AM
wishin'&hopin'

Planet--no advice on a bottle, but our DS was pretty much only happy while awake (he had colic) if we were bouncing/rocking/swaying while holding him.  After a few hours of that we HAD to sit...our solution was sitting on one of those big exercise balls (they have ones that are made not to roll) so we could sit and bounce as gently or vigorously as needed.  Would that help your mom?

01-31-2013 09:26 AM
planet

Seraf, Soren is so cute!!!  How have things been going?  Has he reconnected with Sara yet?  I hope so--that sounds hard!

 

Cananny, I'm glad you have good support and an awesome doula.  I can't believe your DP can only take one week off work!  How are you feeling about that?

 

Wishin, I hope you all feel better very soon!

 

Carmen, congrats on 13 weeks!  It's a milestone for sure! :-)

 

Mrs. & Bigfoot, your teenager sounds hilarious!  I love the name Galaxy!  Glad he has a sense of humor about the whole thing!

 

Pokey, a monthly or bimonthly thread sounds fine to me.  How are you feeling these days?

 

Hi to everyone else!

 

AFU, the latest update is that DP has still been training my mom to care for Wylie when DP goes back to work (Feb. 17th, so it's coming up now).  It hasn't been going well.  She is great with him as long as he is happy.  She is not able to soothe him when his upset or put him to sleep because she physically cannot hold him & bounce/sway while standing.  We are freaking out a little bit right now.  Yesterday was a big reality check as DP stood back a lot more and watched as she tried to put him down for a nap, and it was hard.  He's also been refusing a bottle these last couple weeks, which is super hard and frustrating.  One day I even left work to go home and nurse him at lunchtime, which is not something I can normally  do.  We are thinking about having my mom do childcare for the first part of the day and finding a friend or other babysitter who can come around 1:00 and trade off with her.  Of course we don't want to hurt her feelings, but this is our baby we're talking about!  We had a good, frank discussion when I came home from work yesterday . . . but a solution is still up in the air.

 

Any advice on getting a baby to take a bottle, when you know they can (and have happily done so many times in the past)??? Is this a phase of rebellion or what?

01-31-2013 04:46 AM
wishin'&hopin'

Seraf--we were convinced that DS was going to skip crawling and go straight to walking.  In the end, he crawled for maybe 2 months before walking (he was around 11 months old tho' when that happened).  Soren is adorable!  

01-30-2013 08:00 PM
cananny

Isa.. we will name them as they come out.. the 1st one will be Gage.. the 2nd one will be August and the 3rd one will be Finn.. Its kinda hard to name them in utero because they move around so much :)

 

Pokey I said it before.. but CONGRATS on the Boy... We def have a lot of boys around here.. and our trio will have lots of friends :) Baby B was like your guy,, for the longest time we only saw his but and his privates.. he was and still is the show off :)

 

 

Carmen.. YAY for 2nd trimester.. i was so excited to get there... each week really!!!! will you find out the sex? Good luck selling your house and moving :)

 

Isa.. I wish you were closer.. Heck I think we should ALL live in the Bay area... Can you imagine the fun the kids and us would have.. I am grateful for good help lined up!

 

Searaf.. Soren is just tooo cute!

01-30-2013 03:50 PM
seraf
Yay for boys! Yay for second trimester! Sorry, phone ate my post.
01-30-2013 03:35 PM
wishin'&hopin'

Pokey!!!--welcome to the parents of boys club!!  It's a great club to be in!  

Carmen--welcome to the second trimester!!!

Sphinxy--welcome to Q&P!!!!!

 

Sleep, we were in the anything goes until 4 months club--and it all sorted itself out eventually.  (Okay, honestly sleep was a nightmare for us for the first year or so with blessed and welcomed occasional interludes of longer stretches--but at 14 months DS started sleeping all night and it's been pretty awesome since.  I think he would have slept through much earlier if we hadn't moved and been between homes and visiting relatives for well over a month around his first birthday).  

 

afm--we are all SICK.  DS fell asleep for the night at 4:45pm and we all feel like death warmed over. DW keeps having to call in sick--she was never sick before pregnancy--and the sick days will affect her maternity leave.  Sigh.

01-30-2013 03:16 PM
carmen358

escher: Our DD was a champ sleeper at night (6-7 hour stretches) from about 3 weeks - 7 months...then an hourly/1/2 hourly waker until 18 months. It's hard. But I bet it will change in the next few months. Hang in there!

 

Cananny: I agree it sounds like you have an awesome support network set up! 

 

isa: The puzzle we got DD is here http://www.amazon.com/Mother-Layer-Puzzle-27-Pieces/dp/B001CL6U1O. She's already done it about 10 times and we just gave it to her last night...she loves it. And yes, we're definitely moving into DP's home - at least for a year or so. We just have to sell our place! The market has slowed down here after being so hot for so long but we're hoping it goes fast. We've done a ton of really nice upgrades/renovations and we're in a great neighbourhood with a fabulous view of the city and mountains. I'd love to be all settled in at least a couple of months before baby arrives.

 

Congrats on the boy, pokey! And good to hear he's healthy :)

 

Afm: Did I mention I'm in the 2nd trimester now! 13 weeks today!

01-30-2013 03:11 PM
pokeyac

Thanks bigfoot!

 

QOTD-How would y'all feel about making the thread monthly or even bi-monthly?

01-30-2013 03:07 PM
bigfoot

Awwww, POKEY! A boy! How exciting. thumb.gif

01-30-2013 02:44 PM
pokeyac

We had the big u/s today and it's a boy!  We are going to be swimming in testosterone around here.  As soon as she put the wand on my belly, the first thing we saw was his butt and the business.  We couldn't get a good picture of his face because he was down on my cervix and had his hands in his face the whole time.  It was pretty funny.  They tried to get him to move by tilting the table so my feet were higher, but that didn't work and just made me really stuffy as I'm getting over a cold.  We both really wanted a girl, but I don't feel disappointed at all.  I'm not easily exciteable, but I feel excited and happy.  This just makes everything seem more real.  We have a lot to do to prepare because he's going to be here pretty soon.  Neither one of us has much boy experience.  DW is an only child and I have 3 sisters.  My sisters each have a boy so I'm sure they can help.  It's funny that I have 3 sisters and my Dad always wanted a boy and now he will have 4 grandsons.  I think he really enjoys it.  We texted our friends and family the news.  One friend is a writer on Nashville and she is on set today.  She wrote back that Connie Britton says "Congratulations."  Baby's first brush with celebrity!

I think DW is feeling a little overwhelmed today.  She didn't go to work after our appointment.  She's trying to put together some IKEA furniture we got.  Could just be nesting kicking up a notch. 

01-30-2013 02:33 PM
mrsandmrs

He also likes Galaxy for a girl and Balthazar for a boy. So anything could happen.

01-30-2013 02:29 PM
bigfoot

Seraf - my kiddo skipped crawling. Well, never got competent at crawling and then started taking 2-3 unassisted steps at 8 months and toddled all over the house at 10 months. I feel like no matter what far end of the spectrum kids are, people try to make you feel bad about it. I remember a neighbor trying to convince me that crawling was important for brain development and he needed some kind of physical therapy since he skipped it.

 

Escher & Isa - I guess I should have mentioned that the baby names the teenager comes up with are joke ones. First he tried to convince us that Dwight (after the character on The Office) would be perfect. And then for a girl he found a baby name in one of our library books: Fontenot. Even joking, it is still great that he is talking about baby stuff. I suppose if he found one that we thought was cool we might use it? I would be surprised!

01-30-2013 11:53 AM
prettyisa OMOM—no rash, but the fever’s gone. Honestly, I think it was teething (she got her second top one in!) with a side of minor cold. In any case, she let out literal squeals of glee when I took her to daycare today and her friend A brought over the best monkey chew toy in the world (apparently). So I’m just happy that she’s feeling better!

Cananny—four weeks is so soon! Have you guys already assigned a name to each one, or are you waiting to meet them to see who is whom? I always wonder how people keep track of which one is which before they are on the outside. So exciting! I wish I could join your help brigade, but you are too far from my neck of the woods.

Bigfoot and Mrs—Aww…little arms waving! Glad that things are going well on the teenager front—if he chooses good names will you use them?

Carmen—glad it’s going so well! What puzzle did you get? It sounds really interesting. Hope things work out well with the real estate agent, too! Does that mean you’re definitely taking the family home?

Planet—the only thing worse than getting a big ol’ baby hickey would be having to walk it into a classroom full of 7th graders. smile.gif Glad Wylie sees the humor of the situation!

Sphinxy—not weird at all! Send her on over! We’ve definitely had other couples both on here at once—it’s nice to get to know everyone!

Seraf—I bet he’ll be walking in no time—he’s got such good role models for it, crawling must seem like it’s for chumps! I hope he and Sara reconnect today—I would be very sad if that happened to me (even though I know it will, eventually. I am very clearly NOT the fun parent in our household. Oh, she’ll laugh for me, but only if DP isn’t there to be 10 times more hilarious).

Escher—I hold that hope for you and me both. I’m sorry you’re going through a rough patch! Both Amandas appear to be doing well—we saw Ahope and family over MLK weekend, which was tons of fun—her kids are both awesome and really sweet together, which is nice to see.

Hi to everyone else!
01-30-2013 11:48 AM
glassesgirlnj Wow, Cananny, it sounds like you have a great support network! That's so good to hear!
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