Mothering Forums - Reply to Topic

Thread: Rant! I feel attacked by in laws Reply to Thread
Title:
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Trackback:
Send Trackbacks to (Separate multiple URLs with spaces) :
Post Icons
You may choose an icon for your message from the following list:
 

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



  Additional Options
Miscellaneous Options

  Topic Review (Newest First)
06-28-2013 04:02 PM
dalia I'm sorry, WHAT THE??? I would be livid. She's nuts. If you have twins you can complain sun up by sun down and no one should say a darn thing to you. One is hard. Two??? That seems really hard to me.

She's not very nice. I would stay away from her. She's toxic!
06-28-2013 03:01 PM
Spring Lily No you're not crazy, that was rude.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ColoradoMama626 View Post

She had three kids close together with no help so I shouldn't be putting stress in my husband my conplaining.
I think this is the heart of it. She's jealous that you're getting help. You both have 3 kids, maybe she feels like you're getting extra attention or understanding or something because you have twins, and she was struggling and didn't get that. I had to deal with some family members' jealousy over my twins and this post just sounds very similar to the options that I was dealing with.

OF COURSE it's not easy for you, you have 9 month old twins! She's not going to be able to fully understand that because she had singletons.

If she's going to be so unsupportive and judgmental of you, I strongly suggest you limit contact with her for awhile. Certainly don't share your struggles with her or complaints. She's let you know that she's not a person in your life that you can open up to in that way right now. Maybe when you both have older kids the relationship can heal and grow, but for now you need to take care of yourself the best you can. Twins are wonderful and difficult all at once, and you need to surround yourself with people who get that and are there for you in your worst moments instead of kicking you when you're down.
06-28-2013 11:43 AM
Adaline'sMama

That's so crappy. It's hard. You have every right to complain. Screw her. 

06-28-2013 11:20 AM
skycheattraffic I'd be pissed and hurt too! Yes, you hoped and prayed for these children but that doesn't make it any easier to parent, especially twins! I have a two year old singleton and expecting another single in a few weeks and I'm willing to bet that I can't even imagine some of the problems you have struggled with simply by having twins. I found 9-12 months very challenging and generally speaking I had a fairly easygoing girl. I think what your SIL said was completely over the line and probably has more to do with her than you. You are not responsible for her not having help with her kids and I think she speaks out of resentment of her own spouse.

I don't have much advice on how to deal with her. I think I'd just give her space and see if she apologizes at some point. I just want to say that no one can know what your life is like because every baby is different and every parent struggles with something. Wanted to send you hugs and say I'd be hurt and angry too!
06-28-2013 11:08 AM
ColoradoMama626 I just want to add the only family I have is my in laws bc all my family is in SC, though they visit. But my SIL has only been to my house twice since the babies were born to visit so it's not like she is being put out by me. But apparently she thinks my MIL who comes at most a few hours a week is being put out. My MIL spent the last Minth in Italy abd travels a lot so I don't feel like a visit once a week when she is in town is to much! It sucks I feel totally alone and twins are hard for me and I am doing my best. So sad!
06-28-2013 11:01 AM
ColoradoMama626 So my SIL sent me a horrible email about lots of things but the following regarding my parenting of my 9 month old twins and 4 year old were the worst! Tell me I'm bit crazy and she is rude and out of line.

She said at 9 months I shouldnt still be complaining that I'm tired and it's hard.

That because I used fertility drugs I have no right to complain, I prayed for these kids so I can't comply about the logistics.

She had three kids close together with no help so I shouldn't be putting stress in my husband my conplaining.

I shared with her what I called mOmmy guilt because u feel like there isn't enough of me tO go around and basically in conclusion age said that's ridiculous and I need counseling and medication.

I tried to tell her how hurtful it was coming from her bc she is such a great mom she said she doesn't believe I really feel that way bc we are nothing alike as parents, ouch!

So, thoughts??? In deeply hurt and super pissed!

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off