Mothering Forums - Reply to Topic

Thread: My son is dead. Reply to Thread
Title:
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Trackback:
Send Trackbacks to (Separate multiple URLs with spaces) :
Post Icons
You may choose an icon for your message from the following list:
 

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



  Additional Options
Miscellaneous Options

  Topic Review (Newest First)
04-12-2014 10:49 PM
kitteh I read your blog about a year ago, and I want you to know that I think of you and your sweet Bram often. I have a fearless 4 year old who tends to dart wherever she is going, and largely because of you I am hyper vigilant about her whenever we are in a parking lot or near an alleyway. I have recently shared with her bits about your family's tragedy in hopes of imparting just how serious the matter of walking near traffic and parking lots can be.

My heart aches for you, and I hope the past two years have brought you some peace.
04-12-2014 09:01 PM
AntoninBeGonin

Samantha, I am very sorry about Bram.  His story is heartbreaking.  Much love to you and your family.  :Hug

10-27-2013 04:10 PM
Right of Passage

Thank you to everyone who's responded with such love. We're about 3 weeks away from the 1 year mark. Not sure how to make it, but like every day since, somehow I just do. 

08-30-2013 08:26 PM
Katie8681 I read through your blog months ago and just wanted to let you know that I have been extremely cautious and aware of pedestrians, ESPECIALLY SMALL ONES, in parking lots ever since. I am so very sorry for your loss.
08-30-2013 05:01 PM
blessingscome

I just read your blog. I am so sorry.

08-29-2013 12:21 PM
CeeJay

I have read through your blog, and I am so very, very sorry for your loss.  You have reminded me so powerfully that I can never take my daughter for granted and that tragedy can strike anybody.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

08-28-2013 08:27 AM
andriagirlie

Oh. I just finished reading over your blog after stumbling across this post. I...am so sorry. My heart is aching after reading what I read. I wish you lived close by, were my neighbor, my friend. I would just sit with you if you needed it. When I read what you wrote about victim blaming and the comments some posted...it makes me hate people. I don't want to hate people. But I don't understand how people say the things they say sometimes. It makes me think bad things like how I want to punch those people in the face. Maybe that's terrible to say. But WTF. Why would people mess with a grieving mother? Like...W.....T.....F!

 

I'm sorry. So sorry.

08-23-2013 03:31 AM
cynthia mosher

I am so, so very sorry. hug.gif

08-22-2013 02:07 PM
2goingon2

There are no words.  You are a stranger to me, yet your grief is palpable.  The experience is horrific and beyond a nightmare.  You are a stranger to me, yet if I could, I would hold you while you grieved.  I am so sorry.

 

I recently experienced a loss in my life and was sent the following blessing.  I want to share it with you.

 

A Blessing

 

May you know that absence is full

of tender presence and that nothing

is ever lost or forgotten.

 

May the absence in your life be full of eternal echo.

 

May you sense around you the

secret Elsewhere which holds

the presences that have left your life.

 

May you be generous in your embrace of life.

 

May the sore well of grief turn into

a well of seamless presence.

 

May your compassion reach out to

the ones we never hear from

and may you have the courage to spread out for

the excluded ones.

 

May you become the gracious

and passionate subject of

your own life.

 

May you not disrespect your

mystery through brittle

words or false belonging.

 

May you be embraced by

all that is both sacred and good

where dawn and twilight are one, and may your belonging inhabit its deepest dreams within the

shelter of the Great Belonging.

 

                                                  -John O'Donohue (from Eternal Echoes)

05-04-2013 02:33 PM
unuselyriver

i am so so sorry for your loss it is a really hard thing to thru i hope you can find some peace as time goes byhug2.gif

05-03-2013 10:57 AM
mamalisa

I was just reading your blog and I can't believe the comments you've gotten.  What in the hell is wrong with people?  He was a child, standing there, a spilt second, anything could go wrong or nothing at all.  For goodness sake, I'm outraged for you.  

I'm so sorry, people just don't understand, there are no guarantees in life, you literally NEVER know what might happen.  It's not about doing everything right.

 

Stay strong.  

04-13-2013 07:47 PM
beckybird

I am sitting here at the computer, reading your blog, bawling my eyes out. This world is so unfair. A parent should never lose a child, ever. It is so wrong, and I hate it. I hate the pain you are going through, and I hate the fear I have every single day of losing my own children. I've had those nightmares like the ones you've described, and awoke crying and afraid. There is no future to daydream about, because in an instant your life can change. I accept your challenge, to be bold, to love, and to be fearless--in honor of Bram. All we have for certain is the present, and there is no reason to let one moment slip by without showing your loved ones how important they are.

 

I'm sorry you, your son, and your family have to suffer this way.

candle.gif

03-24-2013 02:49 PM
Adaline'sMama

Thanks for checking in. I'm glad to hear you're making it. I think of you and your family often. hug2.gif

03-24-2013 02:28 PM
Right of Passage It's been just over 4 months and Im breathing. Still very lost. His birthday (which is in the birth stories here) was the 13. Such a bittersweet day.
03-18-2013 07:22 PM
rebecca_n

I saw your story on facebook and saw that it was his birthday recently. I am so sorry for your loss and the pain that you and your family are going through. you've been in my thoughts and I wish it had never happened. 

03-03-2013 09:16 AM
Ola_

I'm so sorry for your loss mama. I read through your blog and was glad to learn more about Bram, he sounds like a very special boy. {{{hugs}}}

02-25-2013 11:10 AM
lifeisgood2 So heartbroken for you. You're grief will always be with you. I have lost two children. I lost my third child eight and a half years ago and my fifth child two years ago. The grief will subside, but will never disappear. I have just learned a new way to live. Losing a child is the worst experience. I still have a relationship with my daughter's that died. They are still my children, Just like Bram will always ne your son. I don't have good advice to help you:(, just take it a day at a time, be gentle with yourself, enjoy the happy moments, set aside time daily to grieve, planting a memorial garden, scrapbooking can be therapeutic. I went to a support group and found like many that it was too hard on me emotionally. Know whatever crazy grief feelings you are experiencing that you ARE NOT alone. Your blog is good, you may want to journal too. I just want to give you a hug!! The change of seasons (wintet to spring) may be of some relief. I personally have a more difficult time in the winter, maybe b/c my last child died the day after Christmas. Plan your special days like Bram's bday, know in advance what you will do that day. We still celebrate our children's birthdays with cakes, etc. Email me if you would like perrys52004@yahoo.com. Namaste.
02-24-2013 12:19 PM
expatmommy

I think of your sweet son often. The days after loss can be so dark. hug2.gif

02-19-2013 07:52 PM
velveeta Oh, you beautiful lady. It is so special and rare that your little children nursed together like that with you. Something to treasure so dearly. Your strength for your children is a shining light. Love, love, love to you all. I wish I had words to express how I admire and am awed by you.
02-19-2013 07:29 PM
Alenushka

I am so sorry. I read your blog and cried. Prayer for you and you family.  You are an  amazingly strong mother. Please, go on. For your kids, for yourself and for Bram.

02-19-2013 07:23 PM
SunShineSally

You are so strong I cried reading your blog hug2.gif you are an amazing mother and women

02-11-2013 11:22 PM
sunshinelove There are no words to express how sorry I am and how much I wish I could bring you solace. Your son sounds like he was a beautiful little guy with a strong name. Its so hard to know what to say when a mother loses a child--i think thats why people try to ignore the fact that it happens. That is very unfortunate and i wish things would change. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers hug.gif
02-03-2013 09:48 PM
devinsmommy26

I am so very very sorry for your loss.

My son is 2.5....my only child...and if he was to be taken from me...I could no longer live.....

You are such a very strong women.

I read your whole blog.....it made tears roll down my face.

I would hate the whole world if I were in your shoes.

But you stay positive & strong....you are an amazing women.

My heart and soul are with you and yours,

Nikki

01-11-2013 01:36 PM
P.J.

I'm so very sorry. My heart is breaking for you.
 

01-09-2013 08:57 PM
treegardner

I am so sorry.

01-09-2013 08:39 PM
EchoSoul

I'm so sorry mama... You may not feel like it, but I think you've been very, very strong. You all have my well wishes, and prayers, and my strength, should you need it. 

01-09-2013 08:34 PM
Babina's Mommy I'm so so sorry. Cannot even begin to imagine.
01-09-2013 07:03 PM
lcorman My daughter Rosalie died exactly one year before your son, in her sleep, three weeks before her 2nd birthday. She was healthy and happy. The medical examiner found nothing wrong with her. It is ice-cold agony. You go on by going on. You keep breathing, though you don't know why. We're animals, hardwired to survive. Sometimes this feels like a curse. Someone upthread advised that you accept all help offered. I agree. And I'd add, don't force yourself to do anything. If you need to sit in the dirt and scream and not change your clothes for a week, do it. Let other people take care of life for a while. Everyone grieves in their own way, so whatever your way is, do it and don't allow anyone to tell you you should be doing something different. Losing a child throws you out of the culture in many ways. It puts you in a place no one ever wants to understand. Let your loved ones abide with you, and do what you need to do. As unbelievable as it sounds right now, you will find a way forward, but you don't need to think that far ahead yet. I wish you and your family weren't going through this. I wish you whatever peace you can find.
01-04-2013 03:11 PM
beautifulnm

I saw your title on the main page and my heart fell for you. I'm sorry for the agony that you are enduring. Thinking supportive thoughts for you.

01-04-2013 03:20 AM
13pumpkins

My love to your family and you.  I wish no parent to go through this :(

This thread has more than 30 replies. Click here to review the whole thread.

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off