Mothering Forums - Reply to Topic

Thread: Twins & "only one mama" syndrome, help! Reply to Thread
Title:
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Trackback:
Send Trackbacks to (Separate multiple URLs with spaces) :
Post Icons
You may choose an icon for your message from the following list:
 

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



  Additional Options
Miscellaneous Options

  Topic Review (Newest First)
03-30-2014 08:44 PM
rinap

(also, if your husband isn't there comforting them, and you are dealing with the needs of one baby (or your own needs), it is still not crying it out. Sometimes babies have to wait. And we do our best, but we are only one mama.)

03-30-2014 08:43 PM
rinap

It's okay. This is not not not CIO. If your husband is there, then the baby is comforted (and I did do some "nurse one for a few minutes then swap"). When I was on my own, I experimented with one in the swing right next to me and with one nursing and the other on the nursing pillow so we could snuggle, but not nursing (at about nine months tandeming got easier).

 

This is hard. It all gets easier.

 

Oh! The other thing I tried at times was feeding at the first signal of demand, so that the other one didn't have to wait quite so long. (or feeding when I anticipated demand, when they were being predictable)

 

But they will be okay. You're not stunting them, for all that it's heartbreaking.

03-30-2014 04:42 PM
synepona

You're not a monster, and you're not ignoring your baby! While my twins are not yet born, and I hope to be able to feed them on demand as you are doing, I know that I also have 2 other children, and there is still only one of me to go around!

 

CIO is a totally different thing than simply not being able to clone yourself!

03-30-2014 12:46 PM
CupOfJoe I feed on demand and am exclusively breastfeeding both of my 9wk old twins from the breast. We have not been using bottles because pumping made my oversupply go crazy & frankly I found it a pain since I'm home anyhow. They can feed together on the mbf twin pillow but both feed much better alone & sometimes fuss, pull away, & such until I feed them individually. I feed on demand so there's no "ok it's 3pm, let's get both of you on to feed". This means that sometimes one baby is screeeeaming while the other is feeding. I feel horrible for cuddling & feeding one while the other is crying but if I take A off up feed B then A cries, etc. sometimes my strategy is to feed A enough to take the edge off & then feed B to take the edge off and back and forth until they're both satiated. I especially do this at night if they both wake up together (we cosleep & I nurse side lying -- great success so far! I get great sleep & so do the babies).

Mostly I just want reassurance that if my husband is carrying & trying to comfort one while I feed the other (or patting one in bed while I feed the other) that it isn't CIO. & that I'm not a monster for ignoring my screaming child. Sometimes I just get frustrated because I feel like if I had one baby then no problem! Baby wants to eat? Great! Here's a boob! Baby needs Mama? No worries, I'm all yours. With twins I feel like I am constantly short changing one of the other & I feel terrible watching my baby get all worked up and screaming greensad.gif

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off