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Thread: Hope, Healing, and Conceiving- May 2014 Reply to Thread
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  Topic Review (Newest First)
06-03-2014 04:16 AM
MsBe New thread is up, come join us!
06-02-2014 05:19 AM
MsBe Wilhelmina- Sounds like you got some great stuff at the health food store. I've never heard of natural toothbrushes? I've heard of people taking maca in juice but I can only do it in a smoothie or surprisingly, I've found it is pretty good in miso soup, which I sometimes have for breakfast when it is chilly. Bummer on the avocado situation, didn't realize you lived in Sweden. Pauggner and Poppe, huh? I am definitely looking up that book. Sounds right up my alley. And the June thread is all yours! Thanks for taking it, I have a busy month ahead with two family visits, my son's b-day party, and a garden that is begging for my attention.
06-02-2014 04:55 AM
Wilhelmina I have to say … I just spent a fortune at the health food store! I bought an all natural detergent, dishwashing detergent, some soaps, grain coffee (I really need to stop drinking coffee all together - it's just not good for you no matter how you slice it, grrr), all natural toothbrushes (for me and my daughter, I'm afraid my husband is not as interested in all natural things as me), a kilo of soda bicarbonate (for cleaning purposes) and also all-natural fluor free toothpaste for my daughter …

And prenatals with folate!!! Wow, those cost me as much as the rest of what I bought! Wow! I will probably start taking them at the beginning of my next cycle - a month before we'll start to TTC.

I hope you are all feeling great, ladies!

MsBe - I could probably take over the June thread as I'm online every single day and work only part-time … so I have lots of free time.
06-02-2014 01:15 AM
Wilhelmina MsBe - I don't know about the herbs and moon phases … I just know that one should not do anything harsh or too much out of ordinary during their menstruation (some even believe you should not even exercise at all during your period). That should be time of nourishment and taking it easy. I've read that in several places. I've never really done any cleanse. I know that body cleanses itself on its own during waning moon and you can support that by herbs, diet, etc. and takes in more nutrients during waxing moon, when it's best to really eat healthy nutrient-rich food. I have a book by Paungger and Poppe about what effect do moon phases have on our bodies/organs/housework/etc. where I first read the ideas about that.

Avocadoes sure are great, but not here in Sweden. It's so hard to find good avocados … most of them taste like c**p, so I really kind of gave up on them. Maybe now in summer it will get better (plus, they're SO expensive over here!) Yeah, eggs sure are good. Eating three eggs is a full meal (at least to me, haha).

I have maca! Somewhere! Can't find it now! I took it with me to husband's parents' lake house and I must have left it there! Grrr! Right now I'm using green powder called 'Purely Green' that has wheatgrass, spirulina, alfa-alfa, etc. So, it's probably as good I wonder what makes maca so great? My mom is my supplier of that one - I've drank it just a few times because it wasn't exactly appetizing to put in my milk or juice. But now, since I have my super duper smoothie-making machine, I should try to put in in there … if I could only now find that powder

rosie2727 - Yeah, my loss was at 13 weeks (12+2), so I guess waiting some cycles is definitely something I should do … If it happened much earlier than this, I probably would already be trying right now.

Ah, if any of us gotten pregnant this month, it would be a January baby!
06-01-2014 05:02 PM
Originally Posted by MsBe View Post
Anyone itching to take on the May thread? I will carry on if no one else wants to take the reins but I know I'm not the most consistent thread keeper so I certainly would be okay with handing them over too.
Oops I meant JUNE. Any takers?
06-01-2014 05:00 PM
MsBe rosie2727- Sorry to hear things aren't darkening up but I'm not giving up on you till AF rears her ugly head. As far as your DH's concerns: not young, true, but "ancient," come on! Most of DH's friends from high school and college are just getting started on their families and they are all 38-41. Personally, I hope to be having babies into my 40's. At this rate if I'm ever gonna get to 3 or 4, I'm gonna hafta keep going till at least 42 or 43. I have also heard good things about Ubiquinol and PQQ, but yeah, the sups can add up and get pricey quick. I hope your RE is responsive to your concerns and you get the testing you want.
06-01-2014 07:58 AM
rosie2727 As far as spacing goes, my youngest is 4. So if I'm lucky I'll have them 5 years apart. Not ideal at all IMO. But, my youngest and next one are 5 years apart and they are thick as thieves! So anything would work I think.

Re how long to wait after mc: I honestly don't think it matters, unless you had a loss that was further along. How far along, I don't know. But like maybe 8-9 weeks plus. Then I'd probably give it 2-3 cycles. But for early losses, I think it's more about the woman's mental health more. If she's ready, then I think her body can certainly be ready. Too many stories of catching the egg the cycle following a mc. But if someone's not mentally prepared yet, then they should avoid for however long.

t2009: I temped throughout a miscarriage, but it was an early one. I think you're CM will cue you in to what's going on enough that you could maybe start as soon as you see some CM. IDK. I know how it is not wanting to get obsessed. But I also am a data whore. So I would probably start OPKs as soon as I see CM at the very least. But knowing O has passed is so nice.....sorry, that was not real helpful.

ememers: those sound like possible good signs. I'll be anxious to see what happens this week.

MsBe: I always thought as long as you could see a temp shift, then you're good. I wouldn't worry about it too much! As for why DH has been flip floppy? He's terrified of conceiving a child with some sort of problem. He thinks we're ancient to be trying for a baby. I'm 38.5 and he's 39.5. I know it's not young, but lots of people do it. I honestly think that my body clearly halts things quickly when something's not right. So if/when I catch a good egg, that will be the sticky one. Anyway, we got in a huge fight, said he was done. We didn't talk for a week, then we finally talked it out. He says if it means that much to me then he's on board. He's just tired of the pressure too. I have to choose my "planned" BD nights carefully. At least we've had decent luck getting pregnant, even if we only DTD once during fertile window.

So, I've gotten tiny faint baby BFP's every day since Thursday am. But they should be darkening for sure by now. I'm calling it. Quit taking my progesterone yesterday. AF due today. I'm not even telling DH about this one. It'll only freak him out more, especially coming off he heels of this big fight.

I think I'm going to call my RE monday and ask about further testing. I just feel like something is off with my hormones somewhere. I'd also like to have my ovaries looked at around O to see if they appear to be functioning properly. And I'd like to know if my lining seems adequate. Hopefully these are all things he'll think are valid items worth looking into and will book it this cycle. I also want to have the blood work that tests egg reserves.

I swore off all the supplements for awhile, but I am convinced the problem is just old eggs. I've heard a lot about Ubiquinol and PQQ and the benefits associated with egg health. So, I ordered a month supply of all this today. Should have it mid-week. One of my 40 year old friends used this with her sticky. I doubt one month will work, but it was expensive for all of it! Guess I'll take it one month at a time....
05-31-2014 06:16 PM
MsBe I almost forgot- liladancing- love seeing that little heart on your ticker!
05-31-2014 06:10 PM
MsBe Ugh, I am not feeling this new platform yet. It seems more of a bother trying to get around and find new posts to my subscribed threads but hopefully I'll get used to it soon.

Wilhelmina- My DS would've been 3.5 when #2 was born if I hadn't m/c too, and I had also thought that would be the "perfect" spacing. On the other hand, it would've meant nursing through my pregnancy and probably doing some tandem nursing now. Not things I was opposed to in theory but I am glad to have a break. He stopped asking altogether (mostly, he did ask once about a week ago) about two months ago and I was so ready. Thanks for the suggestion about dandelion tea. I do drink a lot of herbal teas and infusions (RRL, red clover, nettle, etc.) and sometimes do dandelion. But I had never heard of some teas being more effective with certain moon phases. Where did you learn that bit of wisdom? How exciting that you & DH have a spa trip coming up! I'm sure there will still be a residual beneficial effect in the months to come. My naturopath suggested I eat more avocados for good fats, lots of fiber, and general nutritional awesomeness and since I love avocado it was an easy thing to add into my diet. I have one almost every day with breakfast or as a snack. She also suggested "energetic eating" may help, although she said there wasn't much scientific research backing it up yet, which she explained means I should eat lots of eggs to support egg health and DH should load up on the nuts and seeds for his, ahem, nuts and seeds She said three eggs is actually a full serving but I can rarely do more than one and usually have it poached on a big pile of sautéed greens for breakfast. Salads are awesome but I can eat a much greater portion of greens even if I just barely wilt them. Dried fruit are a great way to get a good dose of nutrition and a pretty big serving of calories without having to eat a lot of volume. I do a lot of smoothies too but don't have any great recipes to share, usually I just wing it. And I put just about anything in them, including leftover plain cooked grains, nuts, peanut butter, coconut milk, homemade yogurt, etc. Not all at once, of course, but I like to think that by mixing it up I am hitting a lot of nutritional targets. I'm sorry your grief is still affecting your appetite but i think as long as you continue to eat whole, unprocessed foods you'll be fine.

t2009- It sounds like the new house is really working out. We have a similar pantry set-up for DS with one low shelf dedicated to nuts, dried fruit, fruit cups, olive cups, peanut butter, and crackers. He loves being able to get his own snack. It's good to hear that your bleeding has finally let up, on to rebuilding a new lush lining! As for temping, I didn't the cycle immediately after my m/c, and then jumped in with gusto the following month. Maybe a bit too much gusto, because while it felt good initially to track every little change, I burned out in a couple months and started feeling like it was taking over my life. I took a break for about 4 cycles, no charting other than marking AF, but DH and I were really not trying then. When I came back to it, I approached it with a very deliberate casualness, and we moved from totally NT to NTNP for a couple of months before working our way back up to a more consistent effort. I'm still trying to maintain a more relaxed approach, I don't temp every day, I do pay attention to CM but only mark my chart when there is EW or a significant change, I have a big pack of Internet OPKs but I only use them occasionally. And most of all, I try to focus on the things I can control like diet and exercise. I made up a custom chart that also has places to mark what kind of exercise I got each day, whether or not I had a smoothie or juiced, whether I meditated, or took a bath (my favorite form of stress release). It is really helpful to me to have a portion of my chart where I am not just observing my body but also tracking my progress on the healthy changes I am trying to implement/ maintain. I agree that it just isn't worth doing if it is going to be a source of stress. But getting in just a few pre-O and post-O temps might be enough to assure you (and any future health care providers) that you are ovulating.

rosie2727- Holy Moly Woman, what a roller coaster! Good to hear that DH is back on board! Why did he want to call it quits? How did you convince him to stay the course? Or did he reverse his decision on his own? It make me furious too when DH shows a lack of commitment. I just remind him that he knew long before we married how I felt about having a big family and that when he committed to me he committed to supporting my dreams and goals too. It is non-negotiable, we will keep trying one way or another until we have at least 3 children. I'm not sure what dpo you are, but your still pre-AF due date right? So those lines look good to me! I've never had an early BFP (b4 16DPO) so I'm staying more than hopeful for you. I hope your fears are misplaced and this is the start of your rainbow!

ememers- Wow, the beach trip sounds lovely. I also love having a mess of kids around. I can understand how hard it must've been too with the refreshing of all the memories of the last time you were there and how different you thought your life would be right now. I hope you don't have a long wait till your rainbow, but even if you do, I bet you'll surprise yourself with what you can handle. As for "going with the flow", I'm pretty confident it's a struggle for us all! TTC after a loss is so much harder, for me at least, than before my m/c. Even though I intellectually tell myself that my body made a wise decision in letting go of a pregnancy that was not sustainable my emotional/spiritual confidence in it took a wicked blow. My mother used to get us to fake a smile when we felt down and before we knew it we were giggling again. So I'm a fan of fake it till you make it. One thing that has helped me is saying a sort of hybrid affirmation/ prayer of gratitude. I either begin or end a yoga/ meditation session with it and I basically say aloud how grateful I am for this amazing, healthy, fertile body, and for the child I have and all those yet to come. Even when I am really not feeling it, it does make me feel better to say it. Maybe just allowing yourself to be open, and by saying (to yourself, to God, to the Universe, whatever feels right to you) that you are willing to allow things to just happen in their own time, even if that doesn't feel true, could be helpful to you. I'm terrible about false pregnancy symptoms. I even get them when there isn't a chance in Hades I could be preggo...

AFM- This cycle has been something of a disappointment with kinda low post-O temps. They are at least half a degree higher than pre-O but I usually get a good solid 1 degree shift and coming on the heels of my anovulatory cycle I am fighting concern. On the other hand I feel even more committed to going forward with a juice cleanse and my sister recommended this one:
She said she had an amazing amount of energy but was super hungry but also didn't do all the juices. I am trying to convince Dh to do it with me. I think I will try some gentle warm-up cleansing in the next ten days (I expect AF very soon) like more hot lemon water and herbal teas, maybe a clay or salt bath, more bone broths and smoothies, more yoga, cutting out my nightly glass of wine and then dive in to the 3-day cleanse once AF eases up. I also got a new order of maca yesterday and have started adding that back in my smoothies and soups ( I had been out for about a month), and Hooray! my acupuncturist should be back from his trip this week so I plan on seeing him again either this Tuesday or next (he is only in NH on Tuesdays). I went plant shopping with my mom the other day and have lots to do on the garden. It was a really rough winter and a lot of my (usually) perennial herbs need to be replaced.

Anyone itching to take on the May thread? I will carry on if no one else wants to take the reins but I know I'm not the most consistent thread keeper so I certainly would be okay with handing them over too.
05-31-2014 10:13 AM
Wilhelmina Rosie - I could totally see the BFPs on the last two pictures. I wouldn't loose hope just yet. But I understand you don't want to get excited just yet. I'm crossing my fingers for you! Hugs!

liladancing - Sending sticky healthy vibes your way as well!

ememers - Let me just send you more hugs because I feel just so horrible about what happened :

I still have such hard time going places where the last time I've been was when I was still pregnant or even looking at clothes I wore the day I found out the little one was no more. I'm considering throwing those clothes away, actually. Everytime I see the top, I just shudder.

Spännande! Världen är så liten! Nej jag är inte svensk, jag kommer faktiskt från Tjeckien, men jag har bott i Stockholm i 5 år nu. Ja trivs bra, men det är fortfarande svårt med min jobbsituation … Min man är svensk.

Thanks for sharing your doc's recommendation about waiting time. It makes sense, but it does sucks that they can't explain why - that there isn't more research backing/explaining it. I'm one of those folks that *need* to know the why of things. I've been like that as long as I can remember … I'm definitely waiting those 3 months. I'm still working out my diet - I still don't feel I'm eating as much and as well as I should be. I have two more months, so hopefully it's enough time to fix it.

Weight-wise, I actually lost a little bit of weight during my pregnancy - I just literally stopped feeling sick to my stomach when I found out the little one passed, so I didn't even manage to gain anything … I ate absolutely horribly during my first trimester because I just felt so sick. I did take iron b-complex vitamins (with folic acid in there), plus some fish oil.

Ladies, I'm very interested in what you eat and what you've found helps you to reach all of your nutritional needs (minus prenatal vitamins). Maybe you have some sort of awesome recipe/smoothie or other nutritional bomb/secret

There are a few things I've changed diet-wise. I try to drink one green smoothie nearly every day (maybe 5-6 times per week) and I also try to have some salad every day with one meal per day. I'm not a fast-food person and nearly always eat home-cooked meals, except maybe once a week. My biggest problem is lack of appetite and that I deal with grief by … not eating, which really really sucks if you want to *rebuild* vitamin/mineral stores … arrgh.
05-31-2014 06:25 AM
ememers rosie, I'm sorry you're discouraged. Maybe this is just a slow starting pregnancy? Not everyone gets super dark lines right away, I wouldn't give up hope yet!!

I am in the TWW, will probably test mid-week sometime. I am feeling some pregnancy symptoms, like sore breasts and tiredness, but I really don't trust my body and I'm pretty convinced I'm just making them up subconsciously because I want to be pregnant this month. If I am, I'll have a due date close to my twins' due date. I might test on Wed, which happens to be my birthday, though I don't want to bum myself out too much if it's negative.

Wilhelmina, är du svensk? Eller bor du i Sverige bara? Jag bodde i Sverige för 10+ år sedan som utbytesstudent. Jag längtar tillbacks!

I had a really great time at the beach with friends, but it was also really hard. We went with 4 other families and stayed in a big house all together. It was beautiful chaos with all of the kids running around, taking turns cooking and looking after each others' kids. It was great but it made me so sad that we were there without our babies. I missed them so much. It didn't help that the last time I was at that beach I had just found out I was pregnant with them, so they were really on my mind a lot.

I did feel really discouraged a few days ago, thinking that I don't think I have the energy to go through a long, drawn-out TTC journey right now. I think we'll try for a couple of months and then if nothing happens, maybe put it on hold for a while? The problem is, I can't just "let it happen", I am just too aware of my fertile signs and my cycle. I wish I could just go with the flow.

As for how long we should wait before trying again, my MFM who I saw in the hospital with my loss said she would recommend waiting a year after a full term loss and less if you were not full term (since my twins were born at 23 weeks she recommended 6 months). She said she did her fellowship research on this topic and found that women have better outcomes if they wait, so they can rebuild their nutritional stores and get back to their pre-pregnancy weights. Well, I waited 6 months but I am definitely not back to my pre-pg weight (grief and weightloss don't go together for me). I pushed her to find out what she meant by rebuilding nutritional stores, asking if I should do any specific tests for vitamins or minerals, but she said there wasn't any good research to support that statement, and it's just more of a general recommendation. So I think the takeaway message (at least, what I took away from the conversations) is that some doctors think it's a good idea to wait, but they can't really say why or what to look for. Sorry that's not very helpful!!

Thinking of everyone!
05-30-2014 05:15 PM
liladancing rosiethat is tricky. What is your doc saying? Best of luck to you.
05-30-2014 12:17 PM
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05-30-2014 12:16 PM
rosie2727 OK, gonna try to upload some pics finally.
05-30-2014 11:59 AM
rosie2727 Yay for no more spotting!

Ok, so that pic was wed after I had taken it apart while wet. And pic was hours later dry. So i tested Thur am and saw maybe a shadow (on Walmart cheapie first signal). Pic of that is on the one thread...So couple of hours later Took FRER and got super faint BFP. Within time limit. I have blood test and it was negative. 4.4. So, they told me to continue with the progesterone and come back Monday. So today I take another test. This time a Walmart brand one that's supposed to be comparable to FRER. It had a def faint pos. I'd share pics of all of this if I could - grr! Either way, I don't think it's viable if it was anything at all. I do believe it was something...I mean I get stark whites all the time. But never four faint BFPs from 3 diff brands in one cycle...

So, I bet AF shows on time (due sat or sun) and this is a classic example of a chemical in which I never would have known if I hadn't tested. Blah.

In brighter news, DH is on board again!

Sorry for no personals. I've been so down. These turn of events have certainly piqued my interest again. I'll catch up more later and might get on PC to upload pics.
05-30-2014 09:08 AM
Wilhelmina t2009 - Hugs to you. I also sometimes get that little shocking fleeting 'feeling' (words are so inadequate!) that I should still be pregnant … it feels like a kick in the gut …

Thanks for mentioning the book your doctor recommended, I will definitely look into it. I've just ordered the Sitting Moon book (it's a TCM book about postpartum care).

About the research … I'm afraid you won't really find anything, I know I tried. The recommendations go from no waiting at all necessary to 6 months. Nobody seems to really know anything. It's beyond frustrating, at least for me. I'm in the middle of it right now. I've just had my first period, but I'm not ready to try yet. I can't tell for sure if I'm nutrient deficient or not, but I will sure get a blood test first. I'm fine and healthy, but that doesn't necessarily mean my nutrient stores are good enough. I know my iron stores were low even though my blood iron was pretty high. I'm eating as healthy as possible right now, but I've read it takes a minimum of a month of intense healthy nutrient-rich diet for body to resolve any possible deficiencies (especially when it comes to folate). I've also read an article that mentioned a study in which it was found out that Swedish women eat on average only about 50% of folate per day that they need and Swedes eat really really well and are super healthy (being healthy is like a national 'sport' of sorts). So, I'm all into green smoothies and salads (even though I hate salads). I can tell you right now that I've never eaten enough folate - and I didn't know about it until now. Sorry for this elaborate brain diarrhea I just have no one to talk to about this stuff.

rosie - That looks like a faint positive to me! It really does! I see it! I can't tell if it's an evap as I have no experience with these things … I'm really sorry to hear that about your husband … Hugs.

In other news, my spotting is now finally over!!! It stopped CD 13, methinks (that's one long spotting). And I also got my new shiny mixer! I've already had two great green smoothies. Nectarines are amazing in smoothies, btw! And, one more awesome thing - I just had an enjoyable acupuncture session! The secret was to skip the blankets! No blanket = no problem So happy about this …

Also, next week I'm going to a spa with my husband! We had a present card as a wedding present from his brother, so we're doing it now! I am really looking forward to it. I so so wish we were TTCing because it would be perfect! Even the timing would be right! Grrrr! I really hope we don't 'slip' because even though it would be nice to be pregnant again, I really doubt I'm ready yet … (We don't use any protection, only the, ehm, pull-out, method if we're not TTC).
05-28-2014 05:00 PM
rosie2727 I've been absent. DH is ready to pull the plug. I've been super depressed over this.

Besides that, I have a question about testing. So I've just recently learned how to take tests apart. I've heard that FRER has a high incidence of indents or evaps especially if taken apart. So I in no was ay feel this could be pos, (this only showed after drying) but what would you call it? Evap? Indent?
05-28-2014 07:45 AM

NSmomtobe, thank you so much for your comment & I wish you a continued great pregnancy!


ememers, I'm not sure about the fever, but I'm still crossing my fingers for you! Before my miscarriage, I would test only the day before AF was due. And I only tested once when I was last pregnant. (The time before that, when I carried my son full term, I tested a bunch of times & drove myself crazy because I got a couple of negatives after getting that initial positive... So I won't repeat that again!)


Wilhelmina, I'm not sure, but I think I know what your talking about re. the pain & discomfort when going to the bathroom. I have it now too & I had it before when I had my copper IUD a couple years back (which I had to have removed because it was so painful). It sucks & I would think it's definitely worth discussing with your gyn. if you can. I can understand why I'm experiencing it now (still bleeding & cramping from miscarriage) but I really expect that it should go away after this is through. 


As for the timing, boy do I feel you. DS just turned 5. The age gap doesn't bother me too much (though I don't want it to get too much bigger!) because for a couple of years DH & I really though we wouldn't have another. It wasn't until last fall that we started to consider having another & then we took our time because I had some health issues to clear up (including some severe deficiencies left over from giving birth the last time). But now that DS is 5, and I'm 36, and I feel I should still be pregnant I am feeling a big push. I want to try again right now, though I know I will wait. I will discuss with my doctor and acupuncturist, but I'm really hoping that I can try in about 2 cycles. I don't feel I'm any longer deficient in nutrients (despite being pregnant so recently) & I just need to be sure my uterus can sustain another pregnancy. My midwife suggested that if the miscarriage is natural & complete (i.e. no complications) we can try again after I get my period for the first time. I really trust her, so I don't think we'll wait to long. But I haven't done the research, so I can't say anything with certainty just yet!


MsBe, thanks for the warm welcome. Yes, the house is a welcome distraction, or it will be--I'm not quite yet back on my feet enough to do too much. DS & I organized the pantry the other day, which was a great activity--He was very happy that on the bottom shelf we put healthy snack & I told him he doesn't have to ask for permission to take anything. I'm hoping that access to healthy food will help him develop a healthier relationship to food than his mama has! We have a yard & I hope to get gardening a little bit in the near future. And I hear you about keeping the baby stuff--We just moved a whole bunch to the new house & it makes me really sad to have to look at it now. And for what?! As for the age difference, I think it will all work out in the end. I have friends who are close to their siblings who are 4 or 5 years younger or older. It may take slightly more effort, but they are still siblings & close in that way. As for detox, I don't know if it's advised during AF. My doctor recommended a book: Clean, Green, and Lean for a gentle, pre-conception detox. I'm still waiting for my copy to become available at the library, but my doc assured me that it's enough & it's not terribly difficult. And she recommended it even though I don't necessarily need the "lean" part of it. It may have some gentle suggestions. 


AFM, bleeding has gotten so much lighter & it makes me happy! I went back to work yesterday but it was too much for my body too soon--The commute really got to me. But I enjoyed the normalcy & I know I'll be back to it soon. I also can't wait to do some yoga & get back on my bicycle--I really have an urge to be physically active but I know I need to take it easy.


All, I know there is no one or right answer to this question, but for those of you who temped before your miscarriage(s), how soon did you start temping again. I worry that by temping I will get too obsessed with getting pregnant or with how my body is recovering/doing/whatever. I have some body/health anxiety as it is & I don't want to fuel that during this time of grief/upheaval/change. On the other hand, I don't want to miss out on information or on our chance to get pregnant (when the time comes to TTC again). I think I can go by my CM & not temping & would have a fair idea of how my cycle is, but I know that temping is the way to know when you O. Anyway, just looking for different perspectives.


I don't know how I will feel if December (previous due date) rolls around & I'm not pregnant but I also don't want to be obsessive as that's not healthy for me. This sucks! But I hope you're right, Wilhelmina, that 2015 is the year for our babies!!!

05-27-2014 10:28 AM
MsBe - Thanks for your answer.  Yes, it is driving me insane - wanting to be pregnant ASAP, and at the same time making sure my body is ready for the next pregnancy.  I just wish that there was more I could read on the topic - I wish I could find more of a guideline … anything that could give me more of an idea about what to do and why and some explanation of how the body works after a miscarriage … But no such luck.  I've thought of buying this book: just so I have some ideas about how to rebuild my vitamin stores/reproductive health, etc.
I've no idea about detox.  But I don't know if it's a good idea to do during AF's visit as the body should be treated a bit more 'gingerly' during that phase (at least according to what I've read previously).  I guess drinking a dandelion tea during waning moon could be a good idea to do a mild liver cleanse, that's about all I've ever done in that vein.  I'm still drinking various TCM medicinal teas, so I don't want to compromise their effect by also drinking something else.  Let me know if you find something interesting! 
About the age difference … I thought it would have been absolutely perfect had this baby been born in October, as my daughter is going to be 3.5 years old at that time.  That is also one of the reasons I would love to TTC ASAP - I'd love them not to be more than 4 years apart.  Even though I know that it really is more about the children's personalities for them to get along than about their age …  Oh well, all we can really do is wish and hope and visualize …
My daughter is such a baby-loving child … she'd be so excited if she got a brother/sister this October … no such luck bawling.gif  Let's hope she gets one next spring. :1praying
2015 is the year for all of us, ladies, to give birth to beautiful healthy babies!
05-27-2014 04:50 AM

lollie2357-  I am sorry about your loss and the approaching due date reminder.  But I am happy that you found your way back here to share this new exciting time of trying for your rainbow!   I'm pretty sure that testing before 8dpo is unlikely to give anyone a BFP, I think things become more accurate between 10 and 12dpo, but I don't test much, and when I do it is usually the day before AF is due.  Did you test yesterday?  Fx for BFP on 1st try, that'd be great!  3.5 years is quite a break, why did you choose to wait so long?  how did you decide now was the right time to try again?  How old are your other children?  Do they know you are planning on adding another?  Are they excited? Excuse my ignorance, but what are HG meds?


Wilhelmina- To wait or not to wait, that is the question.  My midwife didn't give me any solid reason for her suggestion other than that it would give me a chance to heal and rebuild nutrient stores.  I also obsessively researched the waiting issue.  My biggest concern was what if I waited and then it took a long time to get pregnant again, which has happened (at least six months feels like a long time), but I find that I am much more at peace with this outcome now than I was then, and nowhere near as upset as I feared I would be.  It felt so scary for me at first because I kept feeling like I was "supposed" to be pregnant now. I still have occasional thoughts about how old my baby would be now and how things would be if she were with me.  But constantly reminding myself that my life is still beautiful and a thing to be thankful for now has helped me a lot.  I guess you have weigh for yourself the reasons you want to wait and the reasons you don't.  Whatever your choice, it will be the right one for you.  Sorry your flow has been lingering, I can't remember what mine were like those first few months, but I think anything from a really light, short flow to a long, heavy one can be normal post- m/c.  Doing yoga now would be fine, even during your main flow days you need only avoid inversions.  Please do mention your abdominal pain to your Dr, that sounds worrying!  


NSmomtobe- Thanks for the drop in!  Glad to hear all is progressing well for you.  And I always love the reminders that it only takes one time.  :)


t2009-  So sorry for your recent loss, I'm glad you are getting lots of support.   And have a new home to keep you busy, that's exciting!  I am 36 too, (soon to be 37) which is certainly an age when lots of women have babies, but also a time when you might have a lot of friends in their 40's who are not.  I'd also really love to give my DS a sibling before too much longer.  I was watching him play with his cousin who is 4 years older this weekend and feeling a little sad because that age gap seems so perfect, he'll be 4 soon and I really hope we have another baby before he turns five.  


ememers- Glad you are feeling better.  I don't know much about illness while TTC, except that it can make your temps unreadable, could delay O, and conception may possibly result in a greater likelihood of having a girl.  Hope you had a fabulous weekend at the beach!  Was the weather nice?  


AFM- The farm is keeping me busy, I've got tons of gardening to do, the pig fence seems to need constant maintenance (they are on the side of a hill and keep pushing debris over the bottom strands of the back fence), we had the sheep shorn and drenched this weekend before putting them back out on pasture.  We are getting a new fence built around the back of the field and the fence guy is supposed to come today and drop off a bunch of equipment.  When it rains I've been working on de-cluttering my house.  I am in the middle of weeding out a ridiculous amount of baby clothes I had saved.  It seemed a good idea to just box everything up and save it when I thought it wouldn't be long until we had another but now that DS is about to be 4, it feels silly and wasteful.  Some other babies could've been wearing these things all these years.  My temping has been spotty as my sleep has been disturbed, but it looks like I definitely O'd this month.  I think I might like to try some kind of 3-7 day detox cleanse next month.  Any suggestions?  Is it advisable to do during your period?  Anybody know?


Babydust to all!  

05-27-2014 02:10 AM

I'm really hoping my spotting has stopped now … it's so annoying.  I definitely still had it yesterday, so I'm just silently hoping it's over today.


I guess it's ok to have an abnormal period after a D&C, right?  Everything that's a little 'off' annoys me and worries me a little ...


Other than that I'm fine.  I'm still experiencing a bit of abdominal pain while going to the bathroom, which is something I've had for a while - really since my c-section, it got a little worse during the second pregnancy and really bad after the d&c.  Then it got a million times better, but I still get it from time to time … I suspect it has something to do with my uterus, but none of the ultrasounds show anything abnormal.  I do know, however, that I have a tilted uterus … which I've been told isn't a problem.


I'm thinking about going back to my gynecologist and discussing it … I just want everything that's even slightly 'off' investigated before attempting another pregnancy … 


Now I'm also planning to do one last blood test for nutritional deficiencies.


I also keep obsessively reading up on the waiting period after a miscarriage.  I know I keep talking about it over and over, but it's such an important topic for me.  It seems now that many doctors argue that it takes the uterus at least 2-3 normal cycles for the uterine lining to properly rebuild.  Then, some also talk about the necessity for the body to rebuild its vitamin stores, which I think is something especially I should worry about as I haven't exactly been taking the best care of myself even pre-pregnancy.


I've spoken to my mom (which is always a bad idea as she always just annoys the heck out of me - we have some relationship issues) and she thinks I should listen to our mutual friend (a healer) that told me to wait all 6 months before trying again.  I just feel like it's too long.  But, under other circumstances, I would ALWAYS go with what she says … I just think that in this case, she's just echoing the old gynecological recommendation … 


So, I feel a little frustrated at the moment …  


I hope you ladies are doing alright.  Some of you haven't been here for a long time and I'd love to hear from you!!!

05-24-2014 05:15 PM
ememers Well, I guess I am now waiting to know. We left today for a beach weekend with friends and I won't be temping while we're here, but I think my cm is drying up so I'm assuming that I O'd in the last couple of days. We DTD'd one more time so I'm hoping that we might still have a shot despite the fever I had this week. Anyone know what effect fever can have on TTCing? Both previous pregnancies I knew I was knocked up from symptoms before I even tested, but I don't know if I will trust my body this time around since so much has happened, and it want to be pregnant so badly, I'm pretty sure I'll be making up symptoms subconsciously. We'll see! When do you usually start testing?
05-24-2014 07:04 AM

t2009 … I'm really sorry about your loss.  Hugs to you.  I'm also not actively TTC, but I like to have a place to go and talk about pre-TTC and miscarriage related topics and the ladies are here all lovely. So you are definitely more than welcome here even if you are not TTC.  


My acupuncturist did mention using thinner needles on me - I guess he's going to have to special order those for me as he is a Chinese Medicine doctor. 


It's been now 9 days since I got my period and I'm still spotting.  It's not a lot, but it's still going on and it's definitely annoying me.


Anyone else had unusually long first post-miscarriage/D&C period?  I usually stop spotting by the 7th day of my cycle.

05-23-2014 05:27 PM

t2009, I was sad to see you leave the December DDC, but I am glad you have found your way here! This is a great group to help you through this difficult time.

05-23-2014 03:21 PM
t2009 Hello, all. I'd like to jump in, though I'm not TTC right now.

I'm sad to see some familiar names from the Dec. DDC & the reg. TTC chat (not Nsmomtobe, though! I'm glad to hear baby is on target!!).

I just miscarried on Wed. at 11w,2d. I am feeling blessed with lots of love around me but also dealing with plenty of sadness & grief. I know that we will TTC again soon. I am 36 & would rather try sooner than late! For now, though I am taking it easy, basically watching my DH & mom unpack our things in our new how, which I thought & hoped would be fuller sooner than it will be.

I hope to get to know you all better soon.

@Wilhelmina, I think you mentioned acupuncture not being comfortable--Have you tried Japanese acupuncture? It uses much thinner needles. Just a thought.
05-22-2014 02:17 PM
ememers Nice to see you NSMomtoBe! Glad to hear everything is looking good with your little bean.

Welcome, lollie, sorry for your loss. Good luck this cycle!

My fever broke last night and I'm feeling better today. It hit 101 degrees at one point, which is definitely the highest fever I've had in years. I had an acupuncture appointment this morning which was great timing, just what I needed! Feeling like I should just write off this cycle, but I may try to seduce DH once tonight if I feel up to it. Hopefully no more complaining from me for a while.
05-22-2014 07:04 AM

Hello all,


I'm stopping in as I said I would. 


Congratulations, liladancing! I hope you join us in the Pregnancy After Loss forum.


Rosie, I just want to remind you that it only takes once. Take a look at my chart.

We only did it the day of the positive OPK. I did have to seduce him a little because he wasn't in the mood at first, but it worked out.


I had my ultrasound today and baby was measuring right on target for 10w1d.

05-22-2014 03:03 AM
Wilhelmina Welcome, lollie and good luck! I'm sorry about your loss, hugs. I am a bit ignorant - what is HG?

In other news, I 'think' I'm on my last day of AF (day 7) and I'm planning on resuming my yoga practice. I have also gone to the dentist and had two of my fillings fixed - yay for problem-free mouth. The next step of my preconception preparation is to get a full blood panel, which I'm going wait with for a little while since I've had so much blood taken these past couple of weeks (I'm so short/skinny I can't even give blood).

Girls, I'm feeling good about this ... I'm really taking charge, making changes and becoming more positive about life in general. I just really suck at waiting, so maybe patience is another thing I should work on ...

That said, I imagined finding out that I'm pregnant and I felt panicky ... I'm definitely not ready yet ... I wonder if that panicked reaction goes away or at least lessens given some time. I can't understand how some women can get pregnant even before getting their first AF - it must be excruciatingly hard!!! I'm not that brave and strong ...

Also, I'm entering therapy for my depression/ anxiety, finally, in august!!!
05-21-2014 05:04 PM

Hi all! I'd like to jump in. I miscarried in Dec. 2010, at 14 weeks, after 8 weeks of HG. It was all very hard, and I just never thought I would ever go through any of it again. I was here on the loss threads quite a bit back then, but haven't been on mothering much since. So here we are 3.5 years later, and this is our first cycle of trying again. My lost little one's due date is just a few weeks away, and I have been thinking of him. I finally think I might be ready to wrestle with all of that again.


Today I am 5 DPO. I'm really excited, and nervous. I took a test this morning, so I will probably need some support to hold out until a reasonable testing day! (which I guess is Monday-5/26 but lets face it, I'll probably take 5 tests before then...) I see my doctor tomorrow for my yearly check up, and plan to ask for a prescription for HG meds, and while I'm at it, I may see if I can get a blood test while I'm there. 6 DPO isn't too early for a blood test, right? Still yes?


I'm trying to read through and catch up with all of you. Looking forward to getting to know you!

05-21-2014 11:57 AM

So, I got the results from the gyno and supposedly everything looks 'fine' and there's no reason to perform further testing.  She also told me to leave it up to nature.  She told me I'll get pregnant when my body is ready and that I have nothing to worry about.  I've decided to do a full blood panel at my physician's - to check out if I have any insufficiencies, etc.  I won't know the blood results from my psychiatrist until next week (I'm miffed that it will take that long for her to report those to me - even though they're ready already).


So … I guess … that's that for now?  I'm definitely not going to try to get pregnant this cycle, but I might not be able to hold out all three months and might already start trying in June instead of July … we'll see how I feel.  THat said, I'm already one month down, so …. two more months doesn't sound 'that' long from now :)


ememers - I'm sorry you feel sick … 


MsBe - One year? Why that long?  Has she explained why?  I would love to hear that explanation … I've been told 6 months by a traditional Chinese doctor and a healer (a lady I trust and respect otherwise as she really did heal my mom of a disease that were it left to western medicine would have her get hysterectomy, which would have meant my brother could never be born).  However, I *know* that I just won't be able to wait for 6 months … I just know it, that's why I decided on those three months (also because my TCM doctor told me 3 months is an absolute minimum).  Good luck with this cycle!  Hopefully you'll still get a 'shot' :)

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