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  Topic Review (Newest First)
06-17-2014 01:13 PM
mareseatoats Here's the new thread http://www.mothering.com/forum/178-t...l#post17703410
06-16-2014 12:28 PM
wengrin
Quote:
Originally Posted by oxford View Post
Hello ladies,

Thank you for your encouragement, what a fab group of friends :-)

Chuord- is it your birthday this week or next? Happy birthday! Hope DH spoils you.

Mares- hoes the house going? Lovely to be back as a family?

Jenn- how are you doing? What have you been up to?

Mamablue- have the swollen ankles settled down? I hope you are blooming.

Primal- summer holidays sound like a lot of change at your house with DS back and forth. I hope your baby preparations are coming on well? Thanks for your advice, I have made a complaint at work and I have a follow up meeting this afternoon.

Wengrin- how are you? Can you get into your message at the moment? I hope thibgs are ok with dd and shaing care this summer, step families are fundamentally complicated, you are doing a great job :-)
Hi everyone. I don't know if I'm replying in the right place! I am not a fan at all of this new site set-up.

Oxford that Director of yours needs to mind their own business and I can't believe you were made to feel as though IVF is not a valid reason for time off. I hope that you can either get them to understand or like I read someone else say, just don't say what it's for from now on. Good grief. It's your time-off, it's none of their business. Oooh I have some things to say that are not appropriate. That makes me angry!! I'm so sorry that you have felt so emotional but I completely understand and feel that it is normal for what you've endured. Having your best friend get pregnant with ease and deliver a healthy baby must seem cruel. I know you're thrilled for her but it is just not fair that some people have it so easy and then others struggle for so long. Keep the faith that you will have your own success story. xx

Chuord I totally get the birthday thing. I find that birthdays (even holidays like Mother's Day) can stir up emotions and brings any insecurities or feelings of discontentment to the surface. I know you're so positive and hopeful most times....this process can just be so long and frustrating. Glad you were able to enjoy part of your day.

I hope everyone else is doing well. Sounds like Mamablue is glad for summer and no homeschooling! I am trying to have DD work on homeschool math sheets that I printed online so that she doesn't fall behind. But of course that's just one sheet a day and not intense studying.

We are doing well- I am 20 weeks and feeling tons of baby rolls and movement. I'm sooo much better thankfully. I am struggling more with growing pains and headaches. But I can handle this. We are out for summer now too. It is a nice relaxing change of pace, but of course we are trying to stay busy and avoid boredom and arguing. Ha.

Primal, that's great that your schedule works well for time sharing. If the kids like it then that's what matters I would think. I can imagine the running back and forth for books or activity gear. We do that some...but it's not as bad because we only do 1 week alternating during the summer. I like having DD at home for school. It just makes things easier. Her dad wouldn't stay on top of her school work and she would completely fall behind. Ugh.

Well I hope everyone is doing well. I will try to stay connected but this silly new platform is driving me a bit bonkers. Take care.
06-16-2014 09:02 AM
mamaBlue Hello all, I hope you all had a great weekend. Let's all check in with what we are up to and our places on the road in our journey to motherhood.

AFM - The last few days were spent with dear friends and family, and it was wonderful. Today will be for resting up and tidying the house. I have to get the swelling down in my feet before my midwife sees them and gives me a stern talking to about taking it easy. The hubster has a mild cold and is being a drama king about it. Wuss.
06-14-2014 02:28 PM
chuord Thanks primal believe me dh and Ranee get to see the sad bits... Normally for my birthday it's like everything lines up and I have an impenetrable auror of love and happiness - it's great. So the feeling miserable then was a let down as well. It's ok I just need to get pg very soon...
How's everyone?
06-13-2014 05:17 PM
PrimalJoy Chuord -- I hear how hard this birthday was for you. You are so positive and upbeat so much of the time, but it's okay to express your sadness and frustration too, if that's what you're feeling. I've said before and will say again -- I *believe* that this will happen for you. Your path has been so hard, but when I think about you, I really do entirely see you with a baby in the not-too-distant future. So many hugs being sent to you. I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today.

Thank you for the lovely reminder about the full moon. I don't know if it will be clear enough for us to see it here tonight, but I will remember to try now.

I put up a new thread (before I can forget, for once), but no one feel rushed to move over there until you're ready. I hate feeling like I'm cutting off responses to an open conversation... So there's no hurry.
06-13-2014 02:48 PM
chuord Hi everyone - sorry I missed so much!!! Between forgetting my charger while away and this stupid new site - lol no need to say more right?!
Oxford - huge hugs!! The only way I've found to deal with it is just to let the tears out, the super hormone levels really doesn't help... I went through all of that this month, and watching so many successful cycles continuing doesn't help (ivf etc). My birthday was the 10th, it took me till after lunch to get slightly cheerful - the first half of the day all my focus was on not crying. It's a very hard number to hit while in this process. Generally I don't care about age, as long as I feel I've achieved things then I'm proud of the milestone... But I didn't feel that and felt I'd let myself down (reflecting over a decade of poor health, no children etc) thankfully like you I'm blessed with a generally optimistic outlook and I now have that back re the AF - totally agree lol, but in the crazy unknown just enjoy all the contraband xxx
Mares, Wengrin, mamablue, primal - love you all, glad it's going well for you
Jensies - where are you at?
Remember to bask in some of the moonlight tonight... Friday the 13th and a full moon is doubly empowering for us ladies... We had it last night and I could feel myself becoming more alive under the moon (I swing via ranees bonfire after dinner with my parents) totally magical!
06-11-2014 03:32 PM
PrimalJoy Hi, guys

Mamablue -- You and I are probably similarly prepared at this point. We're maybe 75% on having the gear we need (we use more than some natural parenting families do; my babies love their swing, which means that I love it). I still have to strip diapers and come up with a few more small covers and snappies. A friend has given us bags of clothes, but I haven't gone through them, so I have no idea what we have in what sizes. We didn't keep anything from the boys (weren't planning on more kids), and very little from DD (weren't sure if we were having more, and didn't want them to go to waste when others could use them). We've done a bit of preparing in the last couple of weeks, but I'm nothing like ready. I'm really feeling this pregnancy now, too. Swelling is a constant thing; I can only fit into my sneakers and my flip flops. I'm feeling a lot more uncomfortable at night, too. I hate flopping around trying to get comfortable. I'm glad you're going to get some downtime to nest (I mean, as much downtime as there is with four other kids in the house?). Oh, and the zoo? You're braver than me. I'm definitely past my zoo days with this baby.

Mares -- How are you feeling? Are you nested, or procrastinating with the rest of us?

Oxford -- I'm really glad to hear that you are taking the situation on directly. They really have no right to make any judgments on your medical time off. Even if they don't want to do it just because they're decent people, they have to do it legally, right? I'm not sure how those things work in the UK, but your workers' rights can't be any worse than ours in the US, I bet! Do you have plans while your body recovers and resets for your next IVF?

Chuord -- How are you traveling? Still in the rest cycle, or at the beginning of the new IVF?

Wengrin -- How are you feeling? I think you asked about how our custody situation works out, what with the half on / half off. It has its ups and downs. It makes organization for school challenging. We're constantly running some school book or instrument over there for them. DH thinks that discipline is harder with the going back and forth, but I experience that less (but I'm not the stepparent, so his experience may be different). It's what they've always wanted, so we try to honor that. We did it with them primarily with me for one school year, but when it was over, they wanted to go back to being with their dad as much. I will say that everyone having breaks from each other is nice in some ways. The house is quiet when they're gone, and tension between them and DH has a chance to cool. We'll see when they're older if they still prefer this, but it seems to be the best we can do for now.

Anyone else I'm missing -- Hi!

AFM, everything is going well as far as the health of the pregnancy goes, but it is definitely catching up to me. I'll be 33 weeks on Monday. I think it's normal slowing down stuff, added to the heat we have going on right now. I'm becoming a bit phobic about being stuck in hot places right now, as it just feels so terrible. DS's school play was last night, and it was in the eighties in the room it was in. I was dying by the end. I had to leave for a few minutes because I thought I was going to throw up... Very classy night for me. Today I've been working at home and got to stay in my home air conditioning. Much better.

Anyway, my kids' last day of school is tomorrow, and we're looking forward to the relative simplicity of summer, even if it does mean more noise and arguing with the big kids.

What's everyone else up to?
06-11-2014 09:44 AM
mamaBlue Oxford - I'm glad you made your complaint. I'm sure once matters are discussed, everything will improve.

Chourd - How are things in your neck of the woods? You are moving into cooler weather this time of year, yes?

Primal - Have you started getting your house ready for your new arrival? I haven't. Haha.

Mares - How's the new house? Are you and the family and animals getting more settled? It must feel so good to be in your own space.

AFM - I feel good. Feet still swollen, and I don't think it's going to go away until after I deliver. I can live with that. DH and I took the kids to the zoo a couple days ago, and I couldn't keep up with them. I spent the whole time about 15 meters behind. I felt fine physically, but I just can't move as fast as they do. It kind of surprised me.

Today is the first day of school vacation and I'm so glad it's here. Now I can spend time cleaning and organizing and playing at the beach rather than teaching. Homeschool moms love summer as much as the kids. Maybe more.
06-11-2014 02:35 AM
oxford Hello ladies,

Thank you for your encouragement, what a fab group of friends :-)

Chuord- is it your birthday this week or next? Happy birthday! Hope DH spoils you.

Mares- hoes the house going? Lovely to be back as a family?

Jenn- how are you doing? What have you been up to?

Mamablue- have the swollen ankles settled down? I hope you are blooming.

Primal- summer holidays sound like a lot of change at your house with DS back and forth. I hope your baby preparations are coming on well? Thanks for your advice, I have made a complaint at work and I have a follow up meeting this afternoon.

Wengrin- how are you? Can you get into your message at the moment? I hope thibgs are ok with dd and shaing care this summer, step families are fundamentally complicated, you are doing a great job :-)
06-09-2014 12:56 PM
mareseatoats Oh, Oxford. I'm so sorry. I really can't imagine how you must be feeling. Even from this side of the screen it feels so desperately unfair for you and Chourd, and our other ladies still waiting for their babies. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you both and hope your little ones are just around the corner. Sending big hugs for you today.
06-09-2014 12:40 PM
PrimalJoy Oxford, I have words to say about what your employer is doing that I'm not allowed to say in this forum.

I don't know how it works in the UK; here in the US I would file for intermittent FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) protection to stop that harassment. Your treatments aren't a choice you had hoped to have to make, but they are a choice you have every right to make. People need to wake up and be more supportive of the fact that different people take different paths to building their families.
06-09-2014 08:40 AM
jennsies Wow Oxford, I'd be furious as well. I'm not sure how time off works there, but I would assume it's none of their business why you take time off. Maybe just don't tell them? I'm sorry, it sucks when employers don't seem to give a crap about their employees. If you are getting your job done and earned your time off that should be the end of story.
06-09-2014 04:33 AM
oxford Great. It just gets worse. I had two days off work last week with everything that happened. Today my director says that I shouldn't take time off for IVF because it is something I'm choosing to do!!!!! I'm furious.
06-08-2014 12:51 PM
PrimalJoy Oxford -- It is incredibly unfair. There's not much rhyme and reason to who is able to get pregnant when; your grief and frustration are entirely understandable. I am hoping so hard for you and all the other ladies who are still waiting for your babies. I have so much admiration for your determination and stamina in this process. I can't imagine how difficult it is.

Many hugs to you and your hubby right now.
06-08-2014 11:04 AM
jennsies I'm so sorry Oxford. This process really is so emotionally wrenching. Before we started TTC, I could have never imagined what a heart breaking roller coaster ride this would be. I don't know if I've gone one cycle of TTC where I haven't cried my eyes out. Don't be too hard on yourself and let yourself be sad today.




I just hold on to the idea that someday we'll get to tell our kids how much we wanted them and how hard we worked to bring them to us. (((hugs)))
06-08-2014 10:29 AM
oxford Hello ladies,

Lovely to read all the updates. Those babies are growing nicely now :-)

I'm feeling really down and tearful today, I cried all over DH. My hormones are all over the place after the IVF, I just want my period to land now. My best friend had a baby last night, I'm so pleased for her, and now I want the same for us. It seems so cruel that she's got pregnant and ha a baby all within the time we have been trying. Oh I'm not much use today :-( suffering.
06-05-2014 03:44 PM
chuord Primal - sounds like things are a nice but tiring normal at your place - must be nice not to have major stress for a space. Glad that your co workers cared enough to give you a shower, it's nice to celebrate.

Wengrin - ouch! That sounds sore. Homie the support garment helps and that you get a bit of relief with your mum there!
Mamablue - that type of baby shower sounds great, especially the good train! Hmm I've never had a shower or hens night - my choice, I wasn't interested in the surprise factor. I doubt very much is do a baby shower either - I have probably 5 friends in this state lol the rest are all over the country and world lol
No idea about this next month, think it will be rest though...
06-05-2014 02:31 PM
mamaBlue Hey Primal, is it okay that I am glad that I'm not the only one with a few aches and fatigue? Haha! Overall I'm doing great but my feet are poufy and they kinda hurt because of it. I'm glad to hear that your son is no worse for wear at the pool. Is he in the school play, and if so, is he looking forward to it? I'm sure he's eager for summer to start. My girls are almost done for the year, too, but they are working themselves to the bone finishing up their large end of the year research reports and presentations. Ugg. Hopefully your son has escaped the stress of a end of the year project. I hate those things.

Wengrin - Great to hear from you! I'm so stoked that your morning sickness is gone! Woooooohoooo! At last! I'm so sorry that your tummy muscles are giving you trouble. I do hear that support garments work well. Did you need them last time?

Chourd and Oxford - Hi to you two girls on other continents!

Chourd - Are you getting close to CD1? Do you know your protocol for the next round? I'm looking forward to cheering you and your eggies on!

Oxford - Do you get to stim next cycle or do they recommend a rest cycle? I hear that some docs require rest, and others don't. Either way, I hope you make some time for yourself to get some pampering in. You have enduring a lot lately, and you deserve some spoiling time.

AFM - I'm starting to outgrow the belly space of my maternity clothes. Yikes! Also, my SIL is planning a baby shower for me, which is very nice of her and quite unexpected. Since this is babe number 5, I really was not seeing the need for it. She wants to do a small luncheon or go out to a posh dessert place, which sounds like a nice way to celebrate without a lot of hullabaloo. And in lieu of gifts, she is thinking of organizing a meal train after the birth. That's the best gift we could ever get!
06-05-2014 10:37 AM
wengrin Oxford that is a relief I am sure! Whew...thank goodness you will have another shot at this and have the funding to cover it instead of out-of-pocket. Glad to hear that!

Primal isn't it ironic that nature sends you a dose of extreme fatigue along with nesting urges at around the same time?? I know that feeling....so tired, so much to do, I ended up being bossy with hubby and he did a lot of it. Glad to hear your DS is doing a bit better and you have swimming lessons for him this summer. Do you find that the week on/ week off alternating causes any issues? I may have asked you that...probably have. We do that schedule during summertime and DD runs wild with no rules at her dads and we have a hard time when she comes home.

I am doing okay...my mom is here for the week which is nice. She can't do much to help but she does play with the kids a bit so that helps. I am over the sickness- thank goodness. Now I am starting to get uncomfortable because I had an umbilical hernia from last time and severe Diastasis Recti which allows my belly to really bulge out and it's painful. I am going to find a support garment... It's only going to get worse! I'm 19 weeks on Sunday.

Hope everyone is doing well.
06-05-2014 09:23 AM
PrimalJoy Oh, I forgot. Oxford, you asked about my DS. He's been at his dad's this week, but is overall doing okay. His school play is next week, so I think he's pretty focused on that. My husband took him to the pool a few times last week, and he did fine with that, so that's good! We're going to get him some swimming lessons over the summer, too, to hopefully help with both confidence and safety.
06-05-2014 09:22 AM
PrimalJoy That is great news, Oxford! I'm crossing my fingers for you that ICSI is your ticket! Wonderful that you are getting to go ahead and get a full cycle paid for.

AFM -- I'm doing good overall. The summer heat is not fun, and I am starting to deal with more random tiredness than I have lately, but I think that's just the nature of where I am. I'll be 32 weeks on Monday, and definitely getting nesting urges. We are working on getting what gear we need used (DD broke everything we had with her), and getting the house in order. DH put together the toddler bed, and DD is sleeping there now. We won't need the crib right away, since the baby will stay in the room with us, but DD was climbing out of bed every day, so it was time. My coworkers gave me a shower at work today, which was very nice! I got some items I'll use, plus some gift certificates that I'll definitely use.

I'm having a lot of fun with our garden. The first plot grew so well that we asked for, and got, a second one. DH tilled it for me last night, and we'll plant it this weekend. We're now in the midst of negotiating with each other what we'll plant. Surprisingly controversial!
How's everyone else doing?
06-04-2014 08:20 AM
mamaBlue Oxford, that is great news! It must be such a relief to your wallet.
06-04-2014 07:02 AM
oxford Great news chuord on stopping the thinners, that must be a relief? I hope you enjoy your month of rest and do something nice.

Primal- how are you and how is your DS? Are things returning to normal?

Over here we finally had some good news for a change! The NHS are going to find another round of treatment for us! Normally they will only pay for one an then you have to find yourself, but because we didn't make it to transfer they are going to pay for another. Nice to have some good news and that will help us financially. I am back at work today but have a total absence of motivation!!!!
06-03-2014 02:08 PM
chuord Glad you two are sticking together and getting through it Oxford... Re changing hospitals - my best thought is research and then go with your instinct.
I'm allowed to stop the blood thinner injections (two days early - lol but I asked if I could) I'm still on the synarel as a suppressant, my ovaries are still tender but a lot less swollen.. Re next month no idea until AF and a scan, however I suspect a months rest will be required.
So given that you two are always traveling where are you going to go this next month?
Wengrin - it's so lovely you're getting over the nausea and are back with us
Mares - I'm with Oxford, how's the house going?
Primal - how are you and the family doing?
Mamablue - how is your swelling legs? Hope they've settled a bit.
06-03-2014 01:31 PM
oxford Hello,

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and good wishes, you touch my heart. It has been a tough few days and I so appreciate your support. We were back at the hospital today to review what happened. Largely, they don't know! They are pretty confident that icsi would work for us- same process as IVF but they inject the sperm into the egg. So we are going to have a few months of rest to let my body recover and then try again. Unfortunately our NHS funding has run out now so we will have to pay next time. I am researching whether to stay at the same hospital or move somewhere with a higher success rate. It's so hard to know what the stats actually show and it feels like a big decision. DH has been a wonderful support and we have been sticking together.

Ladies having difficulty with the new site, try logging in on the box in the menu on the left hand side and tick the box that doesn't have any writing, it keeps you logged in. I have just left the window open on my phone so I don't have to keep messing about.

Wengrin- thanks for your care! You are lovely. I am feeling it across the sea. How are you feeling and how are your lovely kids?

Chuord- thanks for your hugs and thoughts. have you had fun with your parents? Are you ready or your new cycle yet? Are you trying IVF again or having a break for your body?

Mamablue- you are a sweetie, thank you. It is indeed a long journey and I am inspired by the way you kept going until your BFP. I hope I can too. I love hearing your chilled posts, you sound like a contented lady at the moment :-)

Mares- thanks for your good wishes. That's thoughtful with everything you've got on your plate at the moment. Does your house feel like home now? Are you loving having DH back full time?

This group is such a great place to keep sane!
06-03-2014 10:20 AM
mareseatoats Also struggling with the new platform, but wanted to let you know how often I am thinking of you, Oxford. Sending you lots of love.
06-03-2014 06:38 AM
wengrin Still frustrated as I can't access my usual stuff using tapatalk. Ugh...

Just wanted to let you know, Oxford you are on my mind and I wish there was something I could do or say from across the ocean to give you some encouragement or help ease the pain you must be feeling. I know this must be an awful feeling, going through so much and subjecting yourself to all the poking and prodding and procedures only to get a bad report. Hopefully someday you can tell your son or daughter how much you wanted them and how much you went through to conceive them! I do have friends who went through similar (seemingly endless) battles and finally got their breakthrough. I am praying that happens for you soon. xxxx Take good care


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
06-02-2014 06:25 PM
mamaBlue Hope everybody is doing well. Oxford, you are on my mind. Wishing you calming and comforting thoughts.

AFM - Not much to report. Cruising along and looking forward to school letting out for the summer.
06-02-2014 03:17 PM
chuord Oxford - how are you doing? Know we're here if we can help at all...
06-02-2014 11:43 AM
wengrin Oxford I am heartbroken for you...does this mean that the 5 mature eggs will not fertilize? I'm so sorry you've been through such an ordeal. What do they suggest next? Wait and try again? Big hugs for you. I have been trying since Friday to log into mothering from my iPhone like I normally do and I can't access the site to post or reply to messages!! I finally installed tapatalk app and that allowed me in but I can't PM or get into my inbox. This new site setup is frustrating me. Anyway I just wanted to let you know you have been on my mind all weekend and I was trying to log in to check in with you and see how you were feeling. So sorry to hear that the retrieval wasn't what you had hoped....I know how much you wanted this and hoped that this was the break that was finally going to bring you the baby you and hubby want so much. :-(

Hi to everyone! I have my mom in town and trying to spend time with her, and having trouble accessing this site is driving me up the wall! It used to be so much easier. I need a user manual!

More later. Take care!


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