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Thread: whats the most insensative thing Dh or partner has said??? Reply to Thread
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07-06-2005 11:31 PM
eilonwy
Quote:
Originally Posted by jd_kl
OK, so this is not exactly the most insensitive thing my ex ever said, but one of the insensitive things he would do. I would be in bed, trying to sleep, and on my back. He would come into the room and sit on my stomach with his head facing my feet (Yes, this means his A$$ was directly touching my face) and fart. He thought this was the funniest thing ever and would do it more days than not. I could feel his farts vibrating on my face. And they were not little poots, but full out gusts of poop gas from his butt. He would continue to sit on me until the smell went away. A true class act, huh?
OMG! This would happen exactly once in a relationship. I'd have shoved something very large with corners into the hole that was so conviniently presented to me. :
07-06-2005 04:15 PM
happyhippiemama I have many, many gems, most of which I can't post here due to vulgarity. My SO warned me very early on in our relationship that he tends to say little remarks just to get a reaction.

We've had several conversations since then where I patiently explain to him that the reaction he's getting in me is hurt feelings and I really don't understand why, knowing that, he'd purposefully say things in order to get that reaction. Cause and effect equals he must want to hurt my feelings.

He just doesn't follow the equation. *sigh*
07-06-2005 03:02 PM
trinity6232000
Quote:
Originally Posted by jd_kl
He would continue to sit on me until the smell went away. A true class act, huh?
I have an ex who did this too, but never to me, always his friends.
Oh and yeah I was 14 at the time that I dated him. I wonder what
ever happened to him. :LOL
07-06-2005 02:52 PM
yaM yaM OH MY G-D


Some of these comments/behaviors, man. . . . . Bad, bad, bad.


It's really pissing me off



I better be quiet before I lose it.
07-06-2005 12:13 PM
FancyD "I get the impression that you didn't have a life before the baby."
"You've never worked a hard day in your life."-I cooked for several years, so if he wants to think 15 hr. days in 140 degree heat w/ no breaks isn't "hard work", he's got bigger problems than I thought.
As a disclaimer, I got pregnant VERY early in our relationship, so he's totally talking out of his *ss.
07-06-2005 12:02 PM
2happymamas OK, so this is not exactly the most insensitive thing my ex ever said, but one of the insensitive things he would do. I would be in bed, trying to sleep, and on my back. He would come into the room and sit on my stomach with his head facing my feet (Yes, this means his A$$ was directly touching my face) and fart. He thought this was the funniest thing ever and would do it more days than not. I could feel his farts vibrating on my face. And they were not little poots, but full out gusts of poop gas from his butt. He would continue to sit on me until the smell went away. A true class act, huh?
07-05-2005 10:22 PM
christiab I was listening to music from the 80's, grooving away butt-naked from the shower. DH walks in the bathroom and says "what are you doing? The dance of the cellulite fairy?"
07-02-2005 07:14 PM
singermom Some of these are real gems. Some people need to learn that there is no need to express aloud every thought that passes through their mind.

My DH is generally pretty good. There were two, however, that do tend to stick out in my mind. The first was when we had just begun going out--my cat (who was quite elderly, but had been my constant companion since childhood) died of a heart attack. Do you think I got even a whit of sympathy from my then boyfriend? Not a bit. Now, I knew DH was allergic to cats, and was not particularly fond of them--my thought when I found that out was "gee, and he was such a nice man...it's a shame that it won't work out between us...". But geez, a little "I'm sorry, sweetie" would have been nice, after my dear pet of 18 years had died...

The second was sort of a family affair--DH and my parents were equally clueless. It was 6:30am on a Sunday, and I woke up in labor with dd#2 (I should mention here that I actually have pretty short labors, by most standards). This was a few days before her official due date, and naturally, second child syndrome had already set in, and we were completely disorganized--no bag packed, no arrangements made for dd#1, nothing. So I woke DH up to apprise him of the situation, and at first he made a good faith effort to get up and get moving. I went into the other room to try to time contractions and figure out whether it was time to wake up the midwife. Pretty soon, it got really quiet from the bedroom. I called out to ask him what he was doing, and got a rather irritating answer...it turns out he had 10 pages left to read in his book, so he was finishing that. I guess he thought he might be a little busy that day, and might not get back to it. :

Then, when I got him to actually focus on the issue at hand, we made the round of phone calls--midwife, another midwife who was serving as doula, and my parents. By this time, I had thrown up twice, so was already in transition. We were ready to leave for the hospital, and there was no sign of my parents. When they finally showed up, an hour later, it was because they had decided to eat breakfast first. . The midwife thinks that the only reason dd#2 wasn't born at home or on the side of the highway is that she was two pounds heavier at birth than her sister--other than that, she came marching right on out of there. And I had to have the family that needed to finish novels and eat breakfast first.

Mia
07-02-2005 06:52 PM
trinity6232000 My dd's Dad once was giving me a hug goodbye after a visit to dd.
As he pulled back he said "If you lost 25 pounds, I'd take you back".

In my sweetest tone I said "Ahhhh honey, you forget, I got rid of you".
07-02-2005 05:24 PM
magentamomma My dh said that I would raise weak children. He is full of little gems.
07-02-2005 01:47 AM
l_olive I was getting ready to do a presentation at a conference and I was pretty nervous about it. I'd had my hair done, had on a new suit, and I had actually put on some make-up (a very rare occurence for me). When dh got home, I waited patiently for him to say something about how I looked. After about an hour, I couldn't take it anymore and went "fishing" for a compliment.

When I asked if he noticed anything different, he said, "Ummmm..... did you change the catbox?"

*sigh*

--Olive
07-02-2005 01:09 AM
Storm Bride
Quote:
Originally Posted by China white
My father passed away 3 1/2 years ago. This past Christmas, I was having a particularly hard time with missing him & whatnot, and my husband pipes up with "You're just gonna have to get over it." :
That's what my sister said to her husband, less than a month after his mother died. I'm still in shock that she could say something like that. What is the matter with people? You don't ever totally get over something like that!
07-01-2005 09:52 PM
eilonwy When BeanBean was about 2.5 months old, I went out to a grocery store with my best friend and left Mike with him. I was gone for maybe an hour and we were on our way home, but my friend had to stop and get gas. I told him that we needed to hurry, because I could feel my milk getting ready to let down. Fifteen minutes later we walk in the door and Mike looks daggers at me and shouts over BeanBean (who is frantically screaming and searching for nursies), "Did you forget you have a son?!" I wanted to strangle him for that one. My friend looked like he'd been slapped, everyone was really upset by it. I still get mad when I think of it. :
07-01-2005 08:15 PM
Marlet So when I got home from the hospital I was feeling pretty good and wanting to get back into the swing of things. Dh thought I needed a break and to rest so I did. About three days AFTER we got home I over heard him say to a friend of ours on the phone that "he's become the housewife...all he does now is cook"............ lol what does he think I do all day long for him!?
07-01-2005 07:59 PM
umefey Okay i've got one..
My best friend sent me to the spa as a "time for you to take a break" present. (He so totally rocks!!)
I had a seatox wrap that is supposed to help detox your body and firm you up a bit.. Anyway.. I've never used any sort of "firming" products so i was poking at my body later that night in the shower asking DH if I looked any firmer..



He said.....




"Oh yes! Your cellulite isn't nearly as bad as it was"

I told him to never ever say the word cellulite to me again. :
07-01-2005 07:29 PM
ared1 Before DHand I were married we lived in sin He told me he didn't think he could marry someone my age! He is 28, I am 33! Dumb a$$. THEN he didn't want kids (my DD was 3 at the time and he said he didn't want to marry me because I had a kid. I said ok, see ya! I was in no hurry to get married after a bitter divorce. As you can see he came back. :LOL We laugh about that often now.
BUT THE WORST and boy I let him have it for this. My DD had fallen asleep at our apartment but was supposed to go to her dad's that night. I told her Dad that we would just switch nights since she was already asleep. DH (still just living together then) said DD could not stay the night unless I had sex with him. WTF? We almost got the cops called on us. I threw the ring across he house and told him he could F**K himself. HE STILL does not understand why him saying that was wrong! If you all knew my DH, you would not beleive he would say something so stupid and insensitive. He is like the sweetest guy I know. Never complains about my weight,strechmarks,saggyboobs,and all my other quirks but geesh...I will never forget that!
07-01-2005 06:52 PM
eightyferrettoes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisalee2
I've got one!

Dh told me about a year ago that I still looked 5 months pregnant. I had given birth to our daughter about 8 months before that. Can you believe it?
Hee hee! Mine was talking about my "jelly belly" ONE WEEK after delivery. Thankfully, I was able to point out, "It's still smaller than yours"

Case closed. Send me back to b!tch school!
07-01-2005 12:50 PM
Lisalee2 I've got one!

Dh told me about a year ago that I still looked 5 months pregnant. I had given birth to our daughter about 8 months before that. Can you believe it? It is so hard to understand why people say such stupid things.

I showed him the error of his ways though. To this day, he can't comprehend why he would say such a mean thing.
06-29-2005 09:59 AM
Mydragonboy
Quote:
Originally Posted by FuelJetA
You Win!

That was really mean spirited and generally sad. Did he follow up with asking you to get implants? That's the only way I could see that it could be worse.
Yes, you do win. Good God.
06-29-2005 07:18 AM
FuelJetA
Quote:
Originally Posted by blissful_maia
My dp told me that my breasts looked like an old lady's with nothing left in them... empty beanbags.
You Win!

That was really mean spirited and generally sad. Did he follow up with asking you to get implants? That's the only way I could see that it could be worse.
06-29-2005 04:53 AM
eightyferrettoes
Quote:
Originally Posted by tug
hmm, about 4 hours ago, my dh told me that my fretting made me unbearable tonight and so he had to have several drinks just to tolerate me.
Holy crap!! Did you tell his drunk a$$ to STFU? I'd take off for the pub and leave HIM with the babies once in awhile.
06-29-2005 03:13 AM
underthebluerug FOUR DAYS after my next-door neighbour and closest mama-friend at the time had lost her life suddenly, dh said to me while I was looking shell-shocked and weepy:

"Um... don't you think you should move on?"
06-29-2005 02:46 AM
umefey
Quote:
Originally Posted by miranoron
More like a kick in the bollocks with a steel-toed boot. I can't believe some men can be so cruel and insensitive. My husband would be passed out on the floor, clutching his groin, if he ever said some of those things to me.


to you mamas who deal with it. I don't think i'd ever get over some of the things posted here. :
06-29-2005 02:15 AM
blissful_maia My dp told me that my breasts looked like an old lady's with nothing left in them... empty beanbags.
06-29-2005 12:35 AM
tug hmm, about 4 hours ago, my dh told me that my fretting made me unbearable tonight and so he had to have several drinks just to tolerate me. this following having a sick 2 yr old at work with me today whom i was told to keep quiet b/c of a meeting at the office, plus ds is probably still sick so i'll have him at work tomorrow too, plus a co-worker called late this afternoon to basically tell me that we have a big, big problem at work that i'll have to deal with tomorrow. all of this on top of the usual dealing with my fussy 5 month old and my dad with alzheimers who lives with us.
06-29-2005 12:00 AM
FuelJetA I forget to mention this to DW and thought I could spare her the twinge of anger...

I commented to my mother how DW looks so good and that she is back into all her pre-baby clothes and how her legs are so fit from carrying the babe around in the sling and mei-tai that she doesn't have a bit of cellulite and her butt looks like it did when she was 17.

Her response...

"now she just needs to do some sit-ups."

I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything at all...I may have grunted. But that really peeved me off.

I thought that was an insensitivity worth mentioning!

BTW...DW looks great AND has a pretty flat belly, not quite as flat, but almost AND just as sexy. (What the heck, she just had a baby 6 months ago!)
06-28-2005 11:42 PM
FuelJetA
Quote:
Originally Posted by Past_VNE
This isn't particularly insensitive, but it really sticks with me.

History: DH and I started dating in high school, right after I turned 16. We went to college together, flight school together and got married in 2000. We've been together nearly 12 years now all told.

In college, I was at his apartment, we were smoking pot (I think?) and he told me that he loved me very much and I was a great person, "...but you aren't the kind of woman I could ever marry."

We had been together for probably five years at that point. It hurt me soooo deeply, more than anything he ever said or did. Now, we have a good :LOL about it whenever it comes up.
In my defense, we were pretty much wacked out of our skulls and I had just moved in with 2 girls, one with whom I had a big 'crush' on at the time and Past had just been getting on my nerves. I think it was a terrible thing to say but we are really So it's a moot point.

I do have to say that she is such a sweety that I can't think of anything she has said that is really insensitive besides cursing at me, which I REALLY dislike and she has pretty much quit that too.
06-28-2005 07:01 PM
miranoron
Quote:
Originally Posted by KyleAnn
Aww, hugs fellow mamas-I do believe some of those warrant a punch in the nose....
More like a kick in the bollocks with a steel-toed boot. I can't believe some men can be so cruel and insensitive. My husband would be passed out on the floor, clutching his groin, if he ever said some of those things to me.
06-28-2005 02:53 PM
KyleAnn Aww, hugs fellow mamas-I do believe some of those warrant a punch in the nose....I have a little annoying one from yesterday.

We were getting ready to go to dh's softball game, and I walked out of the bathroom with a bandanna on my head (bad hair day ). Dh gave me a funny look, and I said, "What? Do you care that I'm going like this?"
He responds, "No..I won't be sitting with you at the game...."

Btw, I have been told I look purdy darn cute in my bandannas......

Maybe next time I'll just have to layer on the makeup and slut it up, parade around the ball park that way?
06-28-2005 02:30 PM
Trish O About four weeks ago (our 2nd DD is now 6 1/2 weeks) I asked my DH to bring me something (food or water I think) while I was nursing our DD. I had had a C-section after trying a VBAC for 26 hours of labor. His response was, "I didn't sign up to be your nurse maid."
He's had a couple of whoppers since then as well. I'm trying to chalk it up to the stress of having a 15 month old and a newborn. Hmm.
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