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  Topic Review (Newest First)
05-05-2006 11:01 PM
ecurlycue Man this is an interesting thread! I just had to reply.

I think I am an extrovert with a hint of introvert...lol,

************************************************** ****
extrovert:

-an individual interested in others or in the environment as opposed to or to the exclusion of self
-a gregarious and unreserved person
-a person concerned more with practical realities than with inner thoughts and feelings

introvert:

-one whose thoughts and feelings are directed toward oneself

************************************************** ******

I wouldnt really mind who was in the house or room , so long as they werent asking me any questions or talking to me! When I labor I like to focus only on my contractions and breathing through them, I would say its just like meditation for me, I focus and concentrate on the breath releasing on the outbreath and relaxing on the in. Almost like I push the pain out through my breath. Maybe thats why I dont care who is there honestly so long as they wouldn't interrupt me or talk to me expecting an answer!
05-05-2006 11:16 AM
mykidsrock I am an introvert- all the way baby!!! The responses so far have been great . . .I can see myself writing the same things.

I noticed that I really did most of my laboring solo- my dh was there but it was the middle of the night and he kept dozing oof which was fine with me. He did help me to the bathroom and get me my chapstick and water, but otherwise he was nice and hands off!! I would've birthed solo because he was out of the room, across the house . . . but I yelled for him, not out of fear or anything, but the baby was coming so quickly and he missed the previous birth- I know he would've been pissed to miss one where he was right there in the house,
05-05-2006 02:17 AM
CryPixie83 I'm an introvert. With my dd's birth (homebirth with MWs) I had a lot of people there which I think hindered. The only light I could stand was candlelight and noise bothered me.

This time Only dh, my granny (who lives with us) and dd will be here. If I'm distracted by dd, BIL will come pick her up for us. If I'm distracted by dh, I'll tell him I need to be alone. I never felt like I could do that during dd's birth, I played hostess even in labor.

Currently I have two birth images in my head. one in a pool with dd and dh near me and the other i'm alone in a dark corner of my room on a pile of pillows
we'll see....
05-04-2006 06:18 PM
2bluefish LOL, I did that too - I hate group work! I thought it was just my "if you want something done right, do it yourself personality" though :-)
05-04-2006 05:24 PM
greeniegreen I am definitely an introvert, usually painfully shy (until I feel comfortable with my surroundings), and very emotional. I'm not social at all. I'm also fiercely independent and even while in school would take a lesser grade just so that I could do a project by myself .
05-03-2006 09:58 PM
Godiva I'm both. I love people and parties (lol I was the typical drunk college party girl before dd), but I can be shy at times. Espically at the hospital, I kept wondering who all the people were who came in to watch me perform for them. I felt very awkard. In personal situations I'm a complete introvert. Even my wedding was just me and dh, and a judge, no family or friends. (even the judge was too much for me, I barely kissed him with her there) I thought it would be too weird to be professing my love for someone in front of my parents . Needless to say I'm against all pda other than quick hugs.
05-03-2006 08:06 PM
MamaTaraX I'd UC in a heartbeat and I'm an extrovert. HOwever, my versino of UC would just mean "no professionals in attendance or at least not while wearing their professional 'hats'"

Namaste, Tara
05-03-2006 07:57 PM
ErinBird I'm definately an introvert.

The thing that worries me most about the idea of a hospital birth is the people. The business, the activity level. I get overwhelmed and tired out in those situations- makes me much more likely to just "go with the flow" or not make waves by asserting my feelings or preferences.
05-03-2006 02:39 PM
2bluefish
Quote:
Originally Posted by fourlittlebirds
My husband was there for transition and birth itself, but in some ways he is almost part of me.
Lovely, I consider my husband to be the second half of my soul. I wouldn't plan a solo birth, because I *really* needed him last time. But at the same time, I fantasize about a solo birth sometimes.. interesting.
05-03-2006 01:29 PM
BirthFree Funny... I'm pretty extroverted though I can be quiet (what can I say - my family is all LOUD and I like the change of pace). I don't tend to be shy or whatever (though I was when I was little). I like some solo things like running and x-country skiing because it's so brainless and calming but I've been known to have hour+ conversations on the phone.
05-03-2006 12:26 PM
cottonwood Just in case anybody cares here's the definitions:

extrovert:

-an individual interested in others or in the environment as opposed to or to the exclusion of self
-a gregarious and unreserved person
-a person concerned more with practical realities than with inner thoughts and feelings

introvert:

-one whose thoughts and feelings are directed toward oneself
-a reserved or shy person
-a person who tends to shrink from social contacts and to become preoccupied with their own thoughts

I'm definitely an introvert. I can be social and sometimes even seek it out and enjoy it, but for the most part I am, as a good friend of mine calls me, a mole. I like peace and quiet and solitude. I don't like a lot of activity; I am in my head a lot of the time. I want physical and emotional connection, but only with my lover and children. I have BIG boundaries, and woe is you if you cross them.

All this certainly makes it feel an intrusion for someone I'm not normally intimate with to be present at my births. But don't even extroverts prefer privacy at times? Most, I would think, want it when they're having sex, and like I pointed out on the other thread, birth is a sexual process of the body. With most people this is obviously not psychologically so, but that doesn't mean their body doesn't think it so, and it makes me wonder what the ramifications are of them pretending or believing that it isn't.

For some people, there are none; their bodies take care of it no matter what the environment. I read this story somewhere on the internet -- it may have been on MDC -- about a woman who was planning a UC but for some reason decided to transfer near the end. She was in the ambulence, sirens blaring, and strangers touching her and watching her, and out pops the baby. Not only that, but she had an orgasm as he came out.

I wonder if she was an extrovert?

All I know is that wouldn't have been me. But it just goes to show the huge variation in how our bodies interact with the environment around us.

Now, I don't know how tied up in introversion this is, but for me even more affecting than my introversion is that I am extremely sensitive to what's going on around me. I mean, maybe that's what's made me an introvert. And when I think of why it is that I want privacy in birth, I don't think of it being because I'm an introvert. I think of how I cannot wrench my awareness away from others long enough to go within myself to the extent that I need to in order to allow my body to function properly in labor.

My husband was there for transition and birth itself, but in some ways he is almost part of me. We've expressed before to each other in rather, um, intimate encounters that we don't know where one of us leaves off and the other begins. The nature of my relationship with him is such that under certain circumstances, I can let go of the world around me and enter an altered state of consciousness even when he's there. I know that I wouldn't do it as well as if he wasn't there, but it's a compromise, a trade-off: letting go of a little bit of that altered consciousness in order to have the beneficial effects of feeling secure and loved, which also positively affects the hormonal process.

Some women get that with a midwife, or at least historically that was (at least partly) the role of the midwife. The midwife was a woman one could enter that altered state of consciousness with the woman. Imagine a village wise woman, revered and a little mysterious. She is already a part of that other world, that inner birth place. Modern midwives, for the most part, aren't. They aren't in it with you. They are there to make sure the baby's heart is beating as it should, to tell you to walk to quicken the labor, to give you that shot of pitocin and weigh the baby. In order to do these things, they must be operating with a very neocortical awareness. They are outside of it, and when you are outside, you aren't in. You can't have both.

Well, to many women that's the point. They say they want someone outside of it so they don't have to be. But for me to have *anyone* near me who is outside of it inhibits my ability to go inside for myself.

Well, that was rambling. I never really managed to swing it back around to be on the topic, did I? Sorry about that.
05-03-2006 11:36 AM
2bluefish Yes, I love the idea of solo birth - but I would want it to be spontaneous. I'm doing so well and so focused I just "can't" call for dh. That's my dream - or else he walks in just as I birth the baby. After the baby is born, that's when I want a doula. I have no idea how the house got cleaned up after my homebirth, and I like it that way :-)
05-03-2006 11:29 AM
teachinmaof3
Quote:
I'm very introverted. I get completely worn out when I am around people for any length of time. It physically makes me tired. Although I actually usually enjoy it if I enjoy the people I'm around. I like small groups and am more comfortable with only having a few friends rather than a big group of friends. I'm a homebody that does need and craves getting out of the house maybe a couple of times a week. I recharge by being alone.
That is me exactly!!!

With my first I did what I thought everyone did (hospital, epidural, RNs know it all, etc). The second time around I was in the hosptial again and more assertive. It still really bugged me having all those people around (the hosp. is a small/not-busy one so I had 3 RNs attending to me..drove me NUTS) and having to do what they thought I needed to do.

My homebirths were a much more enjoyable experience. It was more private and I could be alone if I wanted to.

Forgot to add about my UC. Duh. My fourth was UC and the best birth I had. I didn't feel like I had to entertain anyone, waste energy on anyone and could be in tune with ME!
05-03-2006 11:24 AM
LavenderMae I'm very introverted. I get completely worn out when I am around people for any length of time. It physically makes me tired. Although I actually usually enjoy it if I enjoy the people I'm around. I like small groups and am more comfortable with only having a few friends rather than a big group of friends. I'm a homebody that does need and craves getting out of the house maybe a couple of times a week. I recharge by being alone.

Even if I was an extrovert I think I would still want to UC, the only difference would be that I might want family and friends present while I gave birth. My desrie to birth solo probably does have to do with me being introverted. I do much better going with in and not having anyone there to distract that process.
05-03-2006 11:04 AM
2bluefish Introvert/extrovert is kind of complicated. Do we want to go with the "recharge" definition? - do you recharge when you are around other people or when you are alone? I am excited by people. I enjoy having company. But I definately have a distinct need for alone time - and when that time comes - you better let me have it or watch out! LOL

During early labor I wasted alot of energy being excited and wanting to visit with my midwife and my husband. I like her alot; she lived 2 hours away - I was in entertainment mode. Dh works hard and now he was off work, so I wanted to hang out with him. This was the time I needed to get lots of rest, but I was too busy having a party. It's only natural.

Then I got tired and upset and just wanted my dh. We had family members calling all the time taking him away from me. I was very disturbed.

I think what I need is to be alone early on in labor - not midwife in another room cause she's still there and I will go seeking her out to chat, I mean enforced aloneness, and then when things get more intense, I need my dh.
05-03-2006 10:36 AM
RiceMomma Something was said (can't remember exactly what or who said it," on that big old thread) about UCers being introverts. I wondered how true that is of the women here.

I have an introverted personality, and I did plan to labor alone, or just with DH. When it came time, I wanted DH with me constantly. I got mad at him if he had to leave the room for whatever reason. It also was really distracting to me during labor when I could hear my children- I kept worrying about them almost irrationally until a relative could come get them. I also wanted the lights off and the windows closed. Finally I could relax and concentrate.

That was for #4. With #3, I was in the hospital and had several people there- DH, MIL, nurse, midwife and a young freind who wanted to learn more about birth. They were all touching me and talking to me in soft voices. I remember feeling so intensely loved and supported, but the birth was longer and harder, and I kept feeling like i was on stage.

So, being an introvert, I do best when it's very private, but I don't want to be alone.

Anyone else care to share and explore the idea of introverts being more drawn to UC or going solo?

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