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  Topic Review (Newest First)
09-02-2014 12:17 PM
cynthia mosher I have removed a few posts made to this thread that contained attacking comments. If you cannot post with respectful sharing of information and disagreement then you will be removed from the forum.

The Case Against Circumcision does not accept posts of religious debate. If you would like to discuss such topics it may be appropriate in the Religious Studies forum or in a thread devoted to followers of a particular faith who wish to discuss application of teachings of their fath. But in this forum it is inappropriate and not something we wish to host so let's please end the discussion of religion here.
09-02-2014 04:29 AM
Galatea
Quote:
Originally Posted by PapasMama View Post
My, my, this is quite the bandwagon. Does anyone here have a mind of their own? For all of the people on here who have used God's name in their posts, they all seem to have forgotten that it was God who first commanded Abraham to circumcise himself, his sons and his tribe, lest they be "cut off" from their people! And to those who think the Old Testament is null and void, Jesus himself was circumcised and spoke of it agreeably in the New Testament. So you can all say what you want to say and do what you want to do, but I'll take God's word into consideration long before a human being's. I'm really surprised that so many of you have either forgotten that or just don't care. My son is circumcised, as is my husband, and so will my next son be. To each their own. Medical problems can happen with any procedure that is done, and that is just a fact. It is certainly sad when it is a person's genitals that are negatively affected, but there are many other tragic medical issues that plague people too. I've yet to run across a forum on this site on the woes of the genital mutilation that women suffer in the middle east, having their clitorises removed so they can't even have an orgasm, while men here complain about their orgasm not being as spectacular as they would like it to be. Now that's a tragedy.
It never ceases to amaze me when people use their religion to try to convince others, and even more so, when they don't even know their own religion very well.

You should extend "to each their own" to your children.
09-01-2014 08:53 PM
Dia Papas mama,

I find it ironic that you express disgust at female circumsion and defend male circumsion. Both are cruel acts of sexual assault.

But as you are coming at this from your particular brand of religion that you have aligned yourself with, probably nothing we say will have any impact.

I'm sorry for your sons and I encourage you to broaden your mind.
09-01-2014 07:25 PM
Dave RW
Quote:
Originally Posted by PapasMama View Post
My, my, this is quite the bandwagon. Does anyone here have a mind of their own? For all of the people on here who have used God's name in their posts, they all seem to have forgotten that it was God who first commanded Abraham to circumcise himself, his sons and his tribe, lest they be "cut off" from their people! And to those who think the Old Testament is null and void, Jesus himself was circumcised and spoke of it agreeably in the New Testament. So you can all say what you want to say and do what you want to do, but I'll take God's word into consideration long before a human being's. I'm really surprised that so many of you have either forgotten that or just don't care. My son is circumcised, as is my husband, and so will my next son be. To each their own. Medical problems can happen with any procedure that is done, and that is just a fact. It is certainly sad when it is a person's genitals that are negatively affected, but there are many other tragic medical issues that plague people too. I've yet to run across a forum on this site on the woes of the genital mutilation that women suffer in the middle east, having their clitorises removed so they can't even have an orgasm, while men here complain about their orgasm not being as spectacular as they would like it to be. Now that's a tragedy.
PapasMama, as a newbie to commenting myself, I don't want to overstep, but I'll hope you'll notice that:
1) Mothering.com has a widely divergent group of faiths represented. An Appeal to Authority Conveniently Forgetting Paul) is unlikely to persude much of the readership.
1a) Dude I knew in high school took it upon himself to convert me to Christianity based on my "Jewish" (actually, Germanic) last name. He and I were on the cross-country team; upon discovering that I was uncircumcised one day after a particularly muddy practice when we had to shower at the school gym versus going home stinky, he decided I was still in need of saving from my obviously incorrect version of Christianity, because, foreskin, again conveniently forgetting Paul.
1b) Does it give you the willies that there are uncircumcised Christians like me out there?
1c) Dude mentioned in 1a) eventually came to (what I think is) a more accepting version of Christianity, and, in one particularly infamous incident while I home from college, took the "over" in whether I would be able to stuff more than $3.00 of quarters under my foreskin, and was rewarded for it.
2) Your comment, "to each their own," seems to extend the possibility that it is okay to be uncircumcised, but that interpretation seems to be contraindicated by the rest of your comment. Reminds me of a guy I worked with who's wife was pregnant and took it upon himself to announce to a bunch of us having beers after work that while he and his nine-year-old son were circumcised, and his unborn son #2 wouid be circumcised, he had no issue with guys who were uncircumicsed. Fast forward two weeks when he, his nine-year old son, the same bunch of us, and our sons had played an absurdly intense series of pick-up basketball at the base gym and decided to shower there before decamping to a friend's house for a cookout. The gym had gang showers and the dads agreed that it would be okay for everyone to shower together. Dude goes ballistic when he sees I'm uncircumcised; he had only agreed that I could shower in front of his son because he knew I was a deer-hunting, pickup-driving-in-high-school, skinny dipping from railroad trestles guy and that obviously meant that I was circumcised. I think that the bare-assed argument I had with him (along with another uncirumcised co-worker he hadn't yet noticed) probably damaged his son more than his seeing my foreskin.
08-30-2014 03:27 PM
hakunangovi
Quote:
Originally Posted by PapasMama View Post
My, my, this is quite the bandwagon. Does anyone here have a mind of their own? For all of the people on here who have used God's name in their posts, they all seem to have forgotten that it was God who first commanded Abraham to circumcise himself, his sons and his tribe, lest they be "cut off" from their people! And to those who think the Old Testament is null and void, Jesus himself was circumcised and spoke of it agreeably in the New Testament. So you can all say what you want to say and do what you want to do, but I'll take God's word into consideration long before a human being's. I'm really surprised that so many of you have either forgotten that or just don't care. My son is circumcised, as is my husband, and so will my next son be. To each their own. Medical problems can happen with any procedure that is done, and that is just a fact. It is certainly sad when it is a person's genitals that are negatively affected, but there are many other tragic medical issues that plague people too. I've yet to run across a forum on this site on the woes of the genital mutilation that women suffer in the middle east, having their clitorises removed so they can't even have an orgasm, while men here complain about their orgasm not being as spectacular as they would like it to be. Now that's a tragedy.

Wow! I prefer to believe that God or natural evolution, or whatever version of creation you believe in, did not make a mistake. Men are born with foreskins for a reason. If I ever decide to make a sacrifice I would rather it be on my terms and not forced on me by someone else. In fact as a guy who was circumcised in infancy I'm mad as hell that I was robbed of my foreskin! As for your comments on FGM - what's the difference? Genital mutilation is genital mutilation. The sex of the victim is immaterial.
08-30-2014 03:58 AM
joandsarah77
Quote:
Originally Posted by PapasMama View Post
My, my, this is quite the bandwagon. Does anyone here have a mind of their own? For all of the people on here who have used God's name in their posts, they all seem to have forgotten that it was God who first commanded Abraham to circumcise himself, his sons and his tribe, lest they be "cut off" from their people! And to those who think the Old Testament is null and void, Jesus himself was circumcised and spoke of it agreeably in the New Testament. So you can all say what you want to say and do what you want to do, but I'll take God's word into consideration long before a human being's. I'm really surprised that so many of you have either forgotten that or just don't care. My son is circumcised, as is my husband, and so will my next son be. To each their own. Medical problems can happen with any procedure that is done, and that is just a fact. It is certainly sad when it is a person's genitals that are negatively affected, but there are many other tragic medical issues that plague people too. I've yet to run across a forum on this site on the woes of the genital mutilation that women suffer in the middle east, having their clitorises removed so they can't even have an orgasm, while men here complain about their orgasm not being as spectacular as they would like it to be. Now that's a tragedy. [IMG]file:///C:\Users\Jo\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\cli p_image002.gif[/IMG]
You need to study God's word more and to also understand that the way God commanded Abraham to circumcise himself and future sons looks nothing like an American hospital circumcision. The whole point of being circumcised was a form of sacrifice with the shedding of a few drops of blood. Just the very end was snipped, they didn't have probes which forcibly detached the attached skin on their 8 day old babies. In fact if they had tried to perform circumcisions the way it is done in US hospitals nearly every baby would have died as they did not have the equipment. The form of circumcision you now see in the US came about because John Harvey Kellogg lead the way to prevent boys from masturbating because he knew removing the whole or nearly the whole foreskin would reduce sexual pleasure. It had nothing to do with what God had commanded and was instead a perversion of God’s truth. How often has man done that? God gave man a foreskin for sex, he didn't design it that way to remove it all, he just wanted them to show an outward sign of their faith among the pagan nations. If you read up about the early Olympics you will see some Jewish men tried to pull down their foreskins to try and look Greek. You can't do that with a full hospital circumcision. You might also want to read the New Testament and see that circumcision is of the heart and in the body it avails a man not. We are no longer under the old system of sacrifice but rather a sacrifice of our lives to Christ. I hope you decide to research this over prayerfully.


I am so sorry to the mamma's on here who are going through such heart ache.
08-28-2014 07:46 PM
PapasMama My, my, this is quite the bandwagon. Does anyone here have a mind of their own? For all of the people on here who have used God's name in their posts, they all seem to have forgotten that it was God who first commanded Abraham to circumcise himself, his sons and his tribe, lest they be "cut off" from their people! And to those who think the Old Testament is null and void, Jesus himself was circumcised and spoke of it agreeably in the New Testament. So you can all say what you want to say and do what you want to do, but I'll take God's word into consideration long before a human being's. I'm really surprised that so many of you have either forgotten that or just don't care. My son is circumcised, as is my husband, and so will my next son be. To each their own. Medical problems can happen with any procedure that is done, and that is just a fact. It is certainly sad when it is a person's genitals that are negatively affected, but there are many other tragic medical issues that plague people too. I've yet to run across a forum on this site on the woes of the genital mutilation that women suffer in the middle east, having their clitorises removed so they can't even have an orgasm, while men here complain about their orgasm not being as spectacular as they would like it to be. Now that's a tragedy.
07-21-2014 12:23 PM
contactmaya You should clarify what you are talking about. Your post makes no sense at all. There is no third option. Its either intact, or cut off. Maybe you are referring to a symbolic circumcision, then say so, and define what you mean....cant stand wafflers....
07-21-2014 10:59 AM
J.T.
A third option for the circumcision decision

If you are coming at this from a Judeo-Christian perspective, you may find the Kindle book, "Biblical Circumcision vs. Modern Circumcision" very informative and helpful. That Amazon Kindle book reports on a lot of research and posits a surprising third option, which may well have been what Michaelangelo depicted on his statue of David.
05-15-2014 01:58 PM
vachi73 Aw, ashleybess, I just wanted to give you a virtual hug. Parenting is hard. I can tell how much you love your son and want only the best for him. Please, try to forgive yourself -- you absolutely did nothing to cause his condition (much more likely to have been genetic, but that doesn't mean it's your husband's "fault" either -- just very unfortunate). When he is old enough, just tell him the truth, and be confident that you made the best decision you could given the circumstances.

Again, HUGS to you!!! And chin up!
04-09-2014 10:11 AM
ashleybess

I think about and mourn my son being circumcised often, but I am feeling especially horrible about it today and so decided to get on here and share my story.

 

We have sort of a unique regret story. When I was pregnant I assumed I would circumcise - like many, I thought it was just "what you do". My husband is cut and I didn't know anything about the damage it does - I believed it was just an extraneous part of the body.

 

I began to research and became very defensive for a time once I discovered my ignorance. Slowly, I was able to get past my ego and come around and had firmly decided not to circ by my third trimester. My husband is wonderful and it was easy to get him on board.

 

Then my son was born (one month premature) and it felt like everything went out the window. His birth was horrible and traumatic for both of us, and he was born with a moderate case of hypospadias (where the opening of his urethra was underneath the head of his penis) and a hooded foreskin that was not fully developed. The doctor in the NICU assured us it was easily correctable by surgery, and told us not to circumcise (we were clear we weren't planning on it anyway) because the foreskin was used in the restoration process.

 

A couple months later, we had our first appointment with the urologist. When I questioned the removal of my son's foreskin and whether we should just leave his condition alone until he was old enough to decide for himself, he acted like I was crazy and said if it was his son, there would be no question in his mind whether to get the surgery done. I did some net research and discovered the only surgeons who use a procedure that does not involve removing the foreskin are in the UK. Of course, we didn't have the money to travel there. I posted on MDC and some said leave it alone, others said they had the surgery and seemed to think the benefits outweighed the cost.

 

I agonized over this. If we were to leave his genitals alone, I wondered how he would feel when he became conscious that his penis was significantly different from other boys', when he couldn't pee standing up, and how he would feel when he reached adolescence and later, and whether it would cause psychological issues etc. and whether he'd wish we'd just corrected it when he was a baby. But I also agonized over the loss of his foreskin, even underdeveloped as it was.

 

In the end, we decided to go ahead with the surgery. I (however timidly) conveyed to the surgeon that I'd like him to leave as much of the foreskin as he could, but he didn't really listen. Now he has a "normal" circumcised penis but I so wish I'd been a stronger advocate for my son.

 

Now my son is 4 and I feel so much guilt over him being circumcised. My husband believes we did the best we could given the situation, and some days I believe that and some days I don't. This is one of those days and I can't stop crying and feeling guilty. I love my son so much. I just wanted to do what was best for him and I don't know whether I did. I feel like it's all my fault because I drank soy milk almost every morning with cereal during my first trimester before I found out about its estrogenic effects, and I wonder if that's what caused the hypospadias (though I also found out it runs in my husband's family - but me consuming all that soy certainly didn't help I'm sure!).

03-23-2014 07:21 PM
Hugh Intactive

I have opened a circumcision regret page at http://www.circumstitions.com/regret.html and am looking for first-person accounts to populate it. I'd rather people offered material than I cut-and-paste it without asking.

Can you please send them to me at hughcirc@gmail.com
or post them on my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/intactive/posts/601172086633337
Hugh Young

www.circumstitions.com

01-19-2014 06:12 PM
GaussWho

Thank you for this resource. Stupidly, I let my husband make the decision to circumcise our first son and didn't really do any research. After I saw a video of the procedure much later, I was so ashamed of myself for allowing that to happen to my sweet baby boy and every time I saw his scar, I felt overwhelming guilt.

 

When I became pregnant with our 2nd son, I didn't know how to convince my husband that I was not going to let that happen to our 2nd baby. I couldn't even bring myself to bring it up in conversation with him until I was 32 weeks. It did not go well. However, he agreed during that conversation to watch a video of the procedure. I want to share the email I sent to him, with the link of the video, because it was all it took to convince him not to circumcise our 2nd son. Literally the next day after reading this, he said "we don't have to circumcise." And that was it. I am sharing the following email in hopes that it can help somebody else convince their husband:

 

"Dear Husband,

 

Here is a video of a routine infant circumcision using the same procedure that our pediatrician uses (lidocaine injection followed by Gomco clamp). You said you would watch it so please, please watch the whole procedure with sound: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=bXVFFI76ff0#t=115s 

 
This was hard for me to bring up with you but after I saw a video of circumcision for the first time about a year and a half ago, I couldn't stop crying and felt overwhelming guilt for not researching it more beforehand and letting them do that to our son.
 
I would like to talk about this some more when you are ready. I literally think about it everyday and the thought of it fills me with dread. I understand that you are coming from a different perspective but I also think that makes it hard for you to be objective. Times have changed and circumcision rates are going down every year. Can you imagine if circumcision was not the societal norm in the US and somebody approached their doctor wanting to do it? It would be considered barbaric but since it has been happening for the past 100 years, most people don't even stop to consider what we are actually doing to infants - cutting off a large part of his most sensitive organ at birth (when babies' pain systems are hyper-sensitive) for no compelling reason when I'm sure the foreskin evolved for a reason. Over 70% of the world does not circumcise and those that do are mainly for religious reasons (Jewish or Muslim). The US is pretty much the only developed nation in the world that routinely circumcises. 
 
Please just think about everything I'm saying. I am sympathetic to where you are coming from, I really am, but I don't think we should be making this choice for another person. I also don't think it's something that should continue to be done just because it was done to the generation before, especially considering the history as to how it became so prevalent in this country (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_male_circumcision#Male_circumcision_to_prevent_masturbation).
 
 
Here is a thread of mothers who regret circumcising their sons. It was started in 2004 and is still going and is now at 35 pages: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/112410/if-you-regret-circumcising-your-son-s-please-post-here
 
Here is a Facebook page of people who change their mind about circumcision in the middle of having kids : https://www.facebook.com/FutureSons (just hit "Close" to go to the page)
 
I know you are an open minded person so please just take some time to think about all of this and let me know when you are ready to talk.
 
Love,
Wife"
12-02-2013 08:49 AM
pennnyforum

As explained earlier, I'm from the UK where circumcision isn't as popular as in the US. Against my instinct, I was persuaded to circumcise my first son by DH (who is) and his family (where all males are) and my ped. 

 

Whenever I was bathing or changing my first baby boy, friends sometimes called or family were present and often watched. I always felt very conscious that my son's circumcision was very obvious. The problem is the exposed glans is really an internal part and a different colour, even when faded, from the rest of his flesh in that area. It therefore draws attention to his circumcision and I often felt embarrassed and wanting to say "it wasn't my idea to do this!". Of course I never said anything and neither did the onlookers. America is used to seeing circumcised penises.

 

It was different when on holiday at my parent's home in England, where my mother gave me a hard time over it and never stopped nagging me about it whenever she changed him. She has never forgiven me for allowing it.

 

Once in the UK, I went to the beach with a group of friends and our toddlers.  Not having swimming trunks with us on the day, the little guys ran and played happily in the nude. No surprise my son was the only one without his foreskin. This attracted some discreet comments and discussion. There was no criticism but I felt uneasy as I blurted out a lame explanation about not wanting him to be different from his peers in the US.

 

Not long afterwards I took him to my parent's doctor for a check up about something unrelated. As this involved removing his  diaper, the doctor commented; "Hello what's going on here, I don't see many of those!" (pointing to his circumcised penis) I was terribly embarrassed and felt guilty as I shrugged and said his dad wanted done.

 

Have any other moms had experiences like this?

09-10-2013 12:43 PM
Ron1 Well, the man who wants to circ his kid has, in my mind, a common type of emotional denial that many circed men have. To not circ his child is to admit that there is something wrong, sexually speaking, with the father. That is probably too profound and emotionally destructive for the father to contemplate. His ego cannot even contemplate it, so he will continue to sell himself the illusion of being whole. He doesnt't understand that 20,000 sexual nerve endings have been removed.
This is America's dirty secret. Meanwhile, people are outraged that Ben Affleck will play the new Batman. I feel sick to even live in this country sometimes.
As far as my story, being circed screwed my life up. I had painful erections throughout my life. At one point, the skin began to chafe and fall off the shaft, since there was not enough skin to accommodate my erections. I suffered from premature ejaculation. I became a more aggressive/violent lover, since I needed more mental stimulation and physical friction to feel anything. my ex belittled me for being a poor lover. I became addicted to drugs to offset the pain and lack of pleasure I felt. But the worst part, was that I was ignorant that it was caused by a tight circ. I thought it was all my fault. I felt like garbage and even contemplated suicide.
Only restoration saved my life. Now I understand what sex is supposed to feel like. Pardon me while i be a bit specific here: I am now fully covered flaccid, and I have experienced pleasure I did not even know was possible: whole body orgasms, multiple orgasms, involuntary body contractions, and very powerful ejaculations. In short, I am now experiencing everything that my ex girlfriends experienced. I am feeling what was supposed to be my birthright. The glory and beauty of sensual pleasure that all people were supposed to have. When I think of what the circed man, as well as his partner, are missing, it is frightening.
I only add the restoration info, because I think this is about more than preventing future circumcisions. It's about saving and helping the people who are alive today and who are dealing with their mutilations.
07-07-2013 06:56 PM
kenmiller

Do not believe the erroneous information you hear from the medical community. I am 50 and caught herpes when I was 20. Over the last 30 years and many dozens of outbreaks I have noticed that my sores only develop on the skin formerly covered by the foreskin. My father had himself circumcised at 21 because he said his foreskin pulled back only manually.

 

I was circumcised (butchered) as a baby, so I do not know for sure, but because "I am quite wide" I suspect I would have inherited the same retractability issue my father had. If my foreskin was only manually retractable like my father's, because herpes comes up on the points of contact and all my soars come up between my circumcision scar and glans, it stands to reason that I (at least) would not suffer outbreaks. It is also possible that difficult to retract foreskins developed (via evolution) to protect those people who are particularly susceptible to herpes. BTW, I have never been able to be married or have children because no woman has wanted to risk getting herpes. I have been alone for the last 30 years.

 

Many people are infected with herpes and don't ever show symptoms. That may be because the virus can enter the body through the shaft skin and outer foreskin which the virus does not like as much as the mucous membrane that lies on the underside of the foreskin. If there is any chance I am correct, please heed this advice because herpes can ruin your son's future sex and family life.

01-24-2013 10:21 AM
imgr8ful
Quote:
Originally Posted by bugmenot View Post


In my opinion, the worst part of circumcision, other than the immediate pain, is the adhesions. If they take too much off, there's a greater chance of the boy having discomfort during erections. If they take too little off, there's the adhesions. The doctors tell the parents and caregivers to pull the skin back.


I'm not ranting against you, but I'm ranting against the system or the mindset. It's a horrible mindset and it needs obliterated.

OF COURSE the skin will re-attach! It's nature's way of trying to re-gain what someone tried to fight.

Remember Jurassic Park? The scientists tried to re-create dinosaurs under artificial rules (only female dinosaurs, etc...) well...guess what happened? Nature won!

Anyway, back to adhesions...the adhesions are nature's way of trying to re-claim what it originally had.

The worst thing anyone can do, once they have their son circumcised, is to pull those adhesions back...but it's what the doctors say to do. greensad.gif


I wonder if those same doctors tell parents and caregivers of intact children to pull the skin back...probably, because they don't know any better. greensad.gif

 

i disagree.  when the scar line is healing, i think it's better to gently push the remaining tissue back to prevent those adhesions.  i don't think doctors tell parents this anymore and that's why so many boys these days end up having a doctor rip the adhesion apart, sometimes 2 or 3 times, or worse than that, end up needing to be cut a second time!  and yes, many doctors still tell parents of intact boys to retract the foreskin for cleaning.  to me, it seems like some doctors in this country are intentionally trying to sabotage the penises!

 

i was told to push it back at every diaper change until it was healed (this did not seem to bother him as it never fully attached, just got a little "sticky") - my son had/has no adhesions, he's almost 9.  his younger brothers are intact thanks to him.

01-23-2013 11:12 AM
aihley

I regret circumcising my son. I thought I knew what it was and I didn't. I was a valedictorian and honors student with a particular interest in biology and a nurse for a mother and I didn't research enough. I was not open to being attacked by some intactivists so it was hard for me to listen and I avoided information on their pages. I thought I knew the history of my religion and I was dead wrong. My son will suffer because of this. I only hope that he'll forgive me one day. If I could give a piece of my body to restore his I would.

01-15-2013 02:48 PM
bugmenot
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mitchell756 View Post

That is unfortunate what happened to your son but it is certainly not unusual. There are several different methods of circumcision so it is difficult to determine which was used on your son.If you write down the name of the doctor that performed the circumcision and the hospital where it was performed your son will be able to take legal action against them when he gets older.

How many boys will need to have their lives shattered before this practice finally comes to an end?


Here's the way I see it. You're walking down a forest path and get to a fork in the path. If you go left, certain things may happen. If you go right, other things may happen. There's no way to foresee what will happen, but you *can* get advice from other people who have gone down the path before...but in the end, it's all up to you. If the path you choose gets tricky to navigate, you can't go back. No matter which path you choose, it may or may not be the same experience as others.

A kid grows up whole with no issues and wants his own circumcision. The kid gets to make his own choice. In the end, he's happy.
A kid grows up whole and has issues...he needs to be circumcised. How many times does this honestly happen? Not too many.
A kid grows up circumcised and has issues. This is a problem and maybe the wrong decision was made. Unfortunately, the parents and child will never know.
A kid grows up circumcised and appears to have no issues. He can urinate, erect, and have sex with no apparent issues. Unfortunately, this is the only thing he's ever known, so there's really no way to compare.

Option 1 - Good choice
Option 2 - Perhaps a bad choice, but in all honesty, it probably won't happen...but if it does happen, it might be easier, since the penis is bigger. The kid can undergo a difficult surgery easier, since he is older, has a bigger body, and can be sleeping (with medication and sleeping gas) during it. He can also have pain meds afterwords. A difficult part might be refraining from masturbation...obviously, in a diaper, this might be next to impossible.

Option 3 - This is a bad choice, but there's really no way to change it.
Option 4 - If you look at it neutrally, it *could* be a good choice, but there's really no way to tell. If you look at it from a biased standpoint, it's really whatever your opinion is. Talk to someone who circumcised, and it'll be a good choice in their eyes. Talk to an intactvist, and it's a horrible choice.

With all that said, either delay the surgery as long as possible OR let him make his own choice. If he's 18, 20, 25, 35 when he wants to be circumcised, it'll be easier on him AND his penis. He can also make his own decision of how much he wants removed, something he can't say as a baby.
01-15-2013 02:36 PM
bugmenot
Quote:
Originally Posted by karmal2 View Post

I left the choice up to my sons father. I didn't know any better. The hospital asked while I was pregnant and he said "of course". No question in his mind. My son was born and before they took him to have the surgery, I signed the papers to allow it to happen. They explained what would happen "w will take him down and give him a little anesthetic and then we just pull up the extra skin, twist and snip. Then we will bring him right back to you. Do you want to come watch and stay with him?" (Sad that over two years later I remember every word she said to me). I still haven't found anything that supports her claim that they just "twist and snip". He didn't seem like he was in a lot of pain, but maybe that was because I exclusively breastfed and had strong pain meds for a few weeks because of my c-section. When family changed his diapers, they asked me why he WASN'T circumcised. He went through all that, just to look like it never happened?? He has always (since the surgery) had an incredibly sensitive penis. He cries out in pain when I change his diaper, even now, two years later. He has had adhesions, which were forcefully ripped apart by the dr when he was under a year old and again at 18 months. He has issues when he urinates, it kind of dribbles out instead of streams. I regret letting his father make that decision every single time I change my baby's diaper or hear him cry when he has to pee. I will not be doing this to any future sons I have.

In my opinion, the worst part of circumcision, other than the immediate pain, is the adhesions. If they take too much off, there's a greater chance of the boy having discomfort during erections. If they take too little off, there's the adhesions. The doctors tell the parents and caregivers to pull the skin back.


I'm not ranting against you, but I'm ranting against the system or the mindset. It's a horrible mindset and it needs obliterated.

OF COURSE the skin will re-attach! It's nature's way of trying to re-gain what someone tried to fight.

Remember Jurassic Park? The scientists tried to re-create dinosaurs under artificial rules (only female dinosaurs, etc...) well...guess what happened? Nature won!

Anyway, back to adhesions...the adhesions are nature's way of trying to re-claim what it originally had.

The worst thing anyone can do, once they have their son circumcised, is to pull those adhesions back...but it's what the doctors say to do. greensad.gif


I wonder if those same doctors tell parents and caregivers of intact children to pull the skin back...probably, because they don't know any better. greensad.gif
01-15-2013 01:22 PM
Mitchell756

That is unfortunate what happened to your son but it is certainly not unusual. There are several different methods of circumcision so it is difficult to determine which was used on your son.If you write down the name of the doctor that performed the circumcision and the hospital where it was performed your son will be able to take legal action against them when he gets older.

 

How many boys will need to have their lives shattered before this practice finally comes to an end?

01-15-2013 08:19 AM
hakunangovi

Wow, I'm so sorry for you and your son.  It is so sad that the medical community refuses to be up front with the complications that can, and often do, result from a circumcision.  Actualy all circumcisions cause damage but often it is not apparent until later in life.  It sounds, to me, like your son may be suffering from meatal stenosis, where the pee hole gets scarred and narrow from being exposed to urine and feces in the diaper.  This is a common ( 10% ) complication of circumcision and does not occur in intact boys because the foreskin protects the glans and meatus.  Unfortunately the solution is more surgery. The weak dribble instead of a forceful stream when he pees is not a good sign and could end up causing further damage due to the back pressure and possibility that his bladder is not being completely emptied.  You might want to do some research to see if your son is so afflicted.

 

Good luck, and I hope things go better for both of you in the future.

01-14-2013 09:30 PM
karmal2 I left the choice up to my sons father. I didn't know any better. The hospital asked while I was pregnant and he said "of course". No question in his mind. My son was born and before they took him to have the surgery, I signed the papers to allow it to happen. They explained what would happen "w will take him down and give him a little anesthetic and then we just pull up the extra skin, twist and snip. Then we will bring him right back to you. Do you want to come watch and stay with him?" (Sad that over two years later I remember every word she said to me). I still haven't found anything that supports her claim that they just "twist and snip". He didn't seem like he was in a lot of pain, but maybe that was because I exclusively breastfed and had strong pain meds for a few weeks because of my c-section. When family changed his diapers, they asked me why he WASN'T circumcised. He went through all that, just to look like it never happened?? He has always (since the surgery) had an incredibly sensitive penis. He cries out in pain when I change his diaper, even now, two years later. He has had adhesions, which were forcefully ripped apart by the dr when he was under a year old and again at 18 months. He has issues when he urinates, it kind of dribbles out instead of streams. I regret letting his father make that decision every single time I change my baby's diaper or hear him cry when he has to pee. I will not be doing this to any future sons I have.
01-06-2013 07:10 PM
mama24-7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueberry159 View Post
I agree. And, I can't see how advancements in technology could possibly bring back all the functions of the foreskin that nature intended. Not to mention, you can't undo the trauma and the pain of unnecessary, risky, cosmetic genital surgery.

Bolding mine.  I wonder if there is a way to work through something like that?  I don't think there is but I'm not a psychiatrist.  Regardless, I find it quite interesting that the most violent places on the planet are the ones where circ of minors is the most prevalent.  No one ever seems to make *that* connection though.  So. Incredibly. Sad.

 

Sus 

01-06-2013 07:00 PM
Blueberry159
Quote:
Originally Posted by mare54 View Post

I'm not sure how I feel about this.  I'm all for any technology to "fix" the harm of circumcision, but I certainly don't want anyone now saying it's okay to do it to babies now because they can always fix it when they get older!  I think you know what I mean.

I agree. And, I can't see how advancements in technology could possibly bring back all the functions of the foreskin that nature intended. Not to mention, you can't undo the trauma and the pain of unnecessary, risky, cosmetic genital surgery.
12-20-2012 04:41 PM
mare54

I'm not sure how I feel about this.  I'm all for any technology to "fix" the harm of circumcision, but I certainly don't want anyone now saying it's okay to do it to babies now because they can always fix it when they get older!  I think you know what I mean.

12-20-2012 12:20 AM
Mitchell756
Quote:
Originally Posted by bon jody View Post

i have been given advice to sue on behalf of my son but i don't know if i have the strength to do that.  I will go to court for sole legal custody and the hospitals child protection staff will back me 100% and apparently so will the police.  I spoke to the doctor that did it and he said there were about 3 or 4 people that went and he thought it was the whole family. They were suppose to be my friends too.  My younger son is acting out now and is angry at me...i wonder if it is because he was there too.

I would reccomend taking legal action against all of the individuals involved. With the technology available today circumcision will soon cease to be a permanent harm.

 

Currently the organization foregen is heading these efforts.

 

If they could receive a large donation their work would accelerate rapidly. 

 

It may not be easy but i believe that it would be best to sue your husband and his accomplices and join me and many others in supporting the work aimed at ending circumcision once and for all.

12-14-2012 08:23 PM
mama24-7
Quote:
Originally Posted by bon jody View Post

i have been given advice to sue on behalf of my son but i don't know if i have the strength to do that.  I will go to court for sole legal custody and the hospitals child protection staff will back me 100% and apparently so will the police.  I spoke to the doctor that did it and he said there were about 3 or 4 people that went and he thought it was the whole family. They were suppose to be my friends too.  My younger son is acting out now and is angry at me...i wonder if it is because he was there too.

 

I'm so sorry for what has happened to your son.  I thought this might be of use to you.  Perhaps not to use today or tomorrow, but once you are calmed down some & feel like you can think about it more easily: http://www.intactamerica.org/sites/default/files/Circumcision%20and%20Your%20Legal%20Rights.pdf

 

Sus

12-12-2012 08:00 PM
hakunangovi

Bon Jody, Wow!  My heart goes out to you and your son.  I cannot think of a more brutal way to treat a child.  Surely that action is classed as a "battery", and as such deserves jail time?

 

Good luck to you.  Hang in there.  We are here to support you.

12-11-2012 07:25 PM
beru
Quote:
Originally Posted by bon jody View Post

i have been given advice to sue on behalf of my son but i don't know if i have the strength to do that.  I will go to court for sole legal custody and the hospitals child protection staff will back me 100% and apparently so will the police.  I spoke to the doctor that did it and he said there were about 3 or 4 people that went and he thought it was the whole family. They were suppose to be my friends too.  My younger son is acting out now and is angry at me...i wonder if it is because he was there too.

I am horrified by your story and am in tears. I am so sorry for your boy and for you. I am glad you feel you have the support of hospital staff. Good luck.

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