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Thread: Advice for moms who regret circumcising but are being talked into doing it again Reply to Thread
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  Topic Review (Newest First)
08-01-2007 07:17 PM
Super Pickle I just wanted to pipe in with a word of encouragement for the mom who is despairing of convincing her husband. Sometimes, men who seem adamant about circumcision during a pregnancy become agreeable to leaving their son intact once he is born. That's how my husband was. For a time during our pregnancy, I considered just letting him have his way. However, as my due date approached, I came to realize that circumcision is not just another parenting choice. It's serious business. Unless you have been given a direct command from the Creator of the Univesre (which nobody but Jews have been given), then it's child abuse and sexual assault, and it cannot be tolerated. We don't own our childrens bodies. God does. And His Word tells Christians not to participate in circumcision.

Please ask yourself this: If your husband were from a culture that circumcised girls, and he told you that he wanted to have your daughter circumcised, would you allow that?

There is no difference between circumcising little girls and circumcising little boys. Christians have absolutely NO religious reason to do it. There is no medical justification for it. It is done because people believe myths about normal genitals and normal sexuality and are unwilling to put aside their prejudices. It hurts babies terribly and it can kill them. It also hurts mothers. I hope you will come back here for information and encouragement to protect your son and your bond with him. Best of luck!
08-01-2007 05:36 PM
melanie_rabbitbarn Fortunately for me, my husband was easy to convince. However, I have thought a lot about what I would have done if I could not have convinced him. (We practice a partnership, but in the RARE case of disagreement, DH has final say.) I have to say that I would have put my foot down and said absolutely not. I see it as abuse. Theoretically, if my husband became an abuser, I would not stand by and let him abuse our kids. I see circumcision as the same kind of issue and I could not stand by and let it happen. Tell husband that you (and many others) feel very strongly that circumcision is abuse and therefore you cannot allow it to happen. That's how I would deal with it. You cannot violate your conscience.
08-01-2007 04:55 PM
08-01-2007 04:26 PM
Quirky There are a lot of great resources available to those who believe (wrongly) that circumcision is required of Christians. I will post three of them here, in the belief that this is not discussing "religious" circumcision but providing resources for someone whose religion DOES NOT require circumcision and therefore any circumcision performed by a member of that faith cannot be religious circumcision.

From a page written by a devout Christian mother with three intact sons:

I am constantly dumbfounded by new mothers I know who have strong feelings against circumcision yet choose to leave the decision up to their husbands thinking that they should make the choice since they are men. This, in many cases, leads to their baby boys being altered and leaves the women feeling sorrow. This concerns me. Why aren't women standing up for their infant sons? As a Christian I believe that the husband is ultimately the head of the house hold and decision maker (after consulting with the family of course). I respect him for this, for his role as provider etc. and he respects us mothers as the bearers and caregivers of the children. But this does not mean that we are to forget or ignore our God given instincts as mothers to protect the purity of our sons bodies as God created them.

More at this link

Circumcision: A Test Case for Evaluating Old Testament Laws

What the Bible Really Says About Routine Infant Circumcision
08-01-2007 04:03 PM
Daisy: I feel more sorry for the children they are quite prepared to hurt and injure just to pander to someone's ego.

yes, this is a sad case.
08-01-2007 04:00 PM
Originally Posted by kldliam View Post
I feel very sorry for people who are too afraid to think for themself. How sad.
I feel more sorry for the children they are quite prepared to hurt and injure just to pander to someone's ego.
08-01-2007 03:56 PM
kldliam I feel very sorry for people who are too afraid to think for themself. How sad.
08-01-2007 03:54 PM
Originally Posted by chubbsnsmilesmom View Post
If you do gather information/advice about this, don't pm it to me. I understand where you are coming from. But God said in the Bible that the husband makes the final decision and I will follow God's Word and I trust that he will protect my children in every situation. That's all I have to say. I don't want any pm's about this. Just don't talk to me or read my posts. You can use the information gathered here for other moms.
Argh, I want to touch on the Biblical issue but all I'll say is, men and women are supposed to be partners according to the Bible, and it's by no means a one-way street.

I don't think you're all that anti-circ, you want it done and I can see nothing is going to change your mind. Godspeed and good luck to your son. I hope he doesn't suffer from any life-threatening complications as a result of your decision.
08-01-2007 03:47 PM
Originally Posted by chubbsnsmilesmom View Post
I'm not discussing religion. But that is what I believe and it is a BIG part of my decision. He could die whether or not I get him circumcised. And what I meant by my son's circumcision not done right was it's loose only on one side.
Yes, he could. But how will you feel if it's as a direct result? At least 200 mothers in the States kill their babies indirectly like that, and doesn't it say somewhere about not killing anyone? What about if your husband took a fancy to your daughter, or decided to take a mistress? Is he allowed to do anything and you have to acquiesce?

Are you seriously saying that you don't have a say in ANYTHING, and you're just a servant to your husband's wishes?

Wow, just wow. I thought those sort of arrangements were confined to third world countries and history. So much for all the hard work on equalities that are supposed to make women partners rather than slaves. Welcome to antiquity. I suppose you'll be beating your sons for discipline, and stoning neighbours as well?
08-01-2007 03:09 PM
Originally Posted by chubbsnsmilesmom View Post
I'm not discussing religion. But that is what I believe and it is a BIG part of my decision. He could die whether or not I get him circumcised. And what I meant by my son's circumcision not done right was it's loose only on one side.
This could be because it is adhered on one side and not the other. Would you like to start a new thread on it for some advice? Lots of women here have great info on adhesions and things of this nature. If you don't want/need to advice now, I would recommend asking whenever you do. Be careful that doctors don't rip the skin back on the one side, that could cause scar tissue and decreased sensation in that area (as well as bleeding, pain and infection).
08-01-2007 03:07 PM
chubbsnsmilesmom -_-
08-01-2007 03:07 PM
Mommy Piadosa would it help to show the dh the sites that talk about what circ looked like in the OT versus what is being done today?
(not sure how much i am allowed to say due to the religion ban)
08-01-2007 02:58 PM
carriebft We cannot dicuss religion here, but your feelings are that your husband has the ultimate word. Perhaps you can use videos and tasteful web sites/conversations to change his mind.

While you may feel his word is final, I am sure you have some say in that word and that expressing your opinion and backing it up with facts is allowed (i hope!). You don't have to push him or force him but educate him instead.

You say that someone else will protect your son, but look at the boys who have died, the boys who have lost their glans, the boys with webbed, trapped or buried penises.

The only protection against these is to not cut the genitals of your children.
08-01-2007 02:55 PM
chubbsnsmilesmom -_-
08-01-2007 02:09 PM
phatchristy She needs to hear from women who have circ'd their first sons, then went on to leave other sons intact. She needs to be encouraged by someone who shares her perspective.
08-01-2007 01:13 PM
carriebft I read a story from a mom who said that she regrets circumcising her son but she is going to circumcise her new baby if it is a boy because her husband is for it and will not budge.

I want to discuss and share ideas for tactics you would use when faced with this situation.

What things have worked for you? If you havent faced this situation yet, what ideas do you have for dealing with this?

If you are a mom facing this situation or a mom who has faced this, what information/actions/conversations do feel are/were most effective?

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