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Forum: Preteens and Teens   02-08-2016, 10:25 AM
Replies: 21
Views: 1,274
Posted By captain optimism
My son just turned 13 and he also splits his time...

My son just turned 13 and he also splits his time between two households. Each house has a different set of rules about computer use. I made a rule about four years ago that my son cannot have screen...
Forum: The Childhood Years   02-02-2016, 07:05 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 384
Posted By captain optimism
If the child likes charts, a behavior chart could...

If the child likes charts, a behavior chart could be great. If he's good at math and games and likes rules, using a chart might be something he finds reassuring and manageable. (This is an insight I...
Forum: The Childhood Years   02-01-2016, 02:57 PM
Replies: 26
Views: 2,013
Posted By captain optimism
You are so fortunate. You have three children who...

You are so fortunate. You have three children who play outside, who like each other enough that they play together happily in the snow! How wonderful.

I don't know what memory work is. Are they...
Forum: The Childhood Years   01-21-2016, 09:27 AM
Replies: 18
Views: 1,433
Posted By captain optimism
I thought it was weird that my kid liked to watch...

I thought it was weird that my kid liked to watch videos of other people playing video games! He told me that these channels were the most popular on Youtube, though. I asked him about the unwrapping...
Forum: Parenting   01-17-2016, 08:48 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 470
Posted By captain optimism
I was not on top of this one, and my son is not a...

I was not on top of this one, and my son is not a strong swimmer. I didn't take him for lessons until the summer after kindergarten, and he had a hard time learning to swim. I took him for lessons...
Forum: Special Needs Parenting   01-16-2016, 06:09 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 283
Posted By captain optimism
OK, this is a legal issue for the school system....

OK, this is a legal issue for the school system. At the moment, 49 out of 50 states have anti-bullying laws. The school system should have a section of its website devoted to its anti-bullying...
Forum: Single Parenting   12-28-2015, 04:48 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 589
Posted By captain optimism
What happened, in the end? Did everything work...

What happened, in the end? Did everything work out OK?
Forum: Preteens and Teens   12-22-2015, 08:33 AM
Replies: 30
Views: 933
Posted By captain optimism
Kids know when it's just a participation trophy...

Kids know when it's just a participation trophy and when they really won something. There is so much negative press about how terrible participation trophies are. We should just think of them as a...
Forum: Preteens and Teens   12-15-2015, 05:47 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 472
Posted By captain optimism
It sounds like you're on the spot here, doing the...

It sounds like you're on the spot here, doing the best you can to make up for some serious deficits in resources. Even though I agreed with the advice above that you should bow out, I see why you're...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   12-15-2015, 02:29 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 432
Posted By captain optimism
This is going to sound paradoxical. You and...

This is going to sound paradoxical.

You and your ex each need to take stock in what you believe, and teach it to your children. If what you believe is more open-minded than the church your son...
Forum: Single Parenting   12-14-2015, 03:44 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 589
Posted By captain optimism
Well, I'm Jewish. Also, we split when my kid was...

Well, I'm Jewish. Also, we split when my kid was 8, and, my ex is pretty cooperative about parenting. So that shapes my answer, which might not suit you.

I would tell the real story of St....
Forum: Talk Amongst Ourselves   12-03-2015, 12:13 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 321
Posted By captain optimism
These sound like socially-inept bids for...

These sound like socially-inept bids for closeness with you. I think you should try to be closer to her, on your own terms. If you make moves to invite her to things or meet up with her or...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-13-2015, 06:00 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 643
Posted By captain optimism
All of the ways that accidental pregnancy are...

All of the ways that accidental pregnancy are unfair to the person who contributes sperm correspond to ways that accidental pregnancy are unfair to the person who gets pregnant. We've decided that...
Forum: Preteens and Teens   11-05-2015, 02:17 PM
Replies: 47
Views: 2,853
Posted By captain optimism
I don't think it's terrible to look for...

I don't think it's terrible to look for reassurance online. I was more worried about whether the tone of alarm in the original post came across to the child.

My own mother has always been worried...
Forum: Preteens and Teens   11-05-2015, 12:32 PM
Replies: 47
Views: 2,853
Posted By captain optimism
I don't think it's terrible to look for...

I don't think it's terrible to look for reassurance online. I was more worried about whether the tone of alarm in the original post came across to the child.

My own mother has always been worried...
Forum: Preteens and Teens   11-03-2015, 03:20 PM
Replies: 47
Views: 2,853
Posted By captain optimism
Yes, I just took my son for a well-child check...

Yes, I just took my son for a well-child check up. The doctor did check his reflexes, but did not check to see whether his testicles had descended. My own pediatrician when I was a child had me...
Forum: Preteens and Teens   11-03-2015, 12:43 PM
Replies: 47
Views: 2,853
Posted By captain optimism
I don't know what she meant, but I am a little...

I don't know what she meant, but I am a little disturbed that you stood in the room while your son had an exam in the nude. It sounds like you were really surprised by what you saw, which says to me...
Forum: Single Parenting   10-15-2015, 07:40 AM
Replies: 20
Views: 1,039
Posted By captain optimism
You never have to feel guilty for child support....

You never have to feel guilty for child support. That's why the state establishes those minimums and calculations--so that all the parties will do what is fair for the children. The only reason to...
Forum: Single Parenting   10-13-2015, 07:27 AM
Replies: 20
Views: 1,039
Posted By captain optimism
I want to urge you to consider what it would take...

I want to urge you to consider what it would take not to send your children to stay with him. (Obviously, this suggestion is not for your upcoming conversation with him.) It seems like you have every...
Forum: Single Parenting   10-08-2015, 08:42 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 1,039
Posted By captain optimism
I feel bad that I've read this twice and haven't...

I feel bad that I've read this twice and haven't posted advice. It's just so thorny. I mean, it seems clear from what you wrote here that you would like to stop allowing the kids to visit their dad...
Forum: Parenting the Gifted Child   09-30-2015, 04:59 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 452
Posted By captain optimism
This might be an unpopular opinion, but you do...

This might be an unpopular opinion, but you do not need a formal curriculum to homeschool a three-year-old. I think that would be counter-productive. If you need to, you can call it unschooling,...
Forum: Single Parenting   09-01-2015, 10:25 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 561
Posted By captain optimism
Yup. Ignore the hissy fit. Also, don't give her...

Yup. Ignore the hissy fit. Also, don't give her the second day, either. Why would that be good for your son? I don't even understand the argument that she's your ex-husband's fiancé. You are...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-27-2015, 09:16 AM
Replies: 19
Views: 1,165
Posted By captain optimism
It really sucks that you live in a state where...

It really sucks that you live in a state where you cannot cover an ex-spouse after divorce! I know it determines what people do with their marriages. I had heard of people in California not getting...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-24-2015, 12:57 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 749
Posted By captain optimism
You live in the country and it's still summer,...

You live in the country and it's still summer, and you have two kids who are close in age. Can the older ones play outside? Do you have to be literally on top of them at every minute to ensure they...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-18-2015, 11:50 AM
Replies: 19
Views: 1,165
Posted By captain optimism
The laws in California require gun shops to post...

The laws in California require gun shops to post a warning about giving minors access to guns. This tells me that unlike some other states in the US, there is some legal reasoning in the state law to...
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