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Forum: Single Parenting   07-07-2016, 07:52 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 421
Posted By captain optimism
My ex asked for the engagement ring back. It was...

My ex asked for the engagement ring back. It was a family heirloom. I was fine with that. I know, it seems really gross to ask for the ring back after 11 years of marriage, but that's the kind of guy...
Forum: Life with a Toddler   05-26-2016, 06:44 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 912
Posted By captain optimism
Don't let him get you into a discussion of how...

Don't let him get you into a discussion of how you should be reacting to his mistake.

I think it's well within the range of normal to feel angry, though I might describe the feeling as panic....
Forum: Preteens and Teens   05-04-2016, 05:31 AM
Replies: 27
Views: 1,373
Posted By captain optimism
Yes. If an adult were doing these things, people...

Yes. If an adult were doing these things, people would be asking about depression.

Peculiar behavior and affect are only eccentric until they start harming the person and those around him. At...
Forum: Parenting the Gifted Child   04-30-2016, 09:56 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 672
Posted By captain optimism
Your MIL thought it was OK for a three-year-old...

Your MIL thought it was OK for a three-year-old to play with matches?

Yeah, OK lady. That is one ridiculously indulgent, and also, apparently really forgetful, grandmother.
Forum: Parenting the Gifted Child   04-30-2016, 09:50 PM
Replies: 84
Views: 3,197
Posted By captain optimism
I don't think you can do that. She's a...

I don't think you can do that.

She's a separate human being who has to learn for herself to interact with her environment.

Everyone has to learn about manners and appropriate behavior in...
Forum: Parenting the Gifted Child   04-27-2016, 05:13 AM
Replies: 84
Views: 3,197
Posted By captain optimism
I really like the way you put this. I was...

I really like the way you put this.

I was thinking that my son sometimes wanted me to talk and sometimes didn't, when he was upset. (Which is still true!) The OP is talking about a very specific...
Forum: Single Parenting   04-26-2016, 06:05 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 956
Posted By captain optimism
Sorry--didn't mean to muddy this up by the word...

Sorry--didn't mean to muddy this up by the word "evicted," which has a technical meaning. She said he threw her and the two children out of their shared rental. He wasn't kicked out, formally or...
Forum: Single Parenting   04-25-2016, 09:18 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 956
Posted By captain optimism
Why would any court give shared custody to an...

Why would any court give shared custody to an unmarried, abusive father who evicted his own children, sold their belongings and refused to pay child support?

I think it might make sense to talk...
Forum: Parenting the Gifted Child   04-24-2016, 02:59 PM
Replies: 84
Views: 3,197
Posted By captain optimism
Let's go back to Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired for...

Let's go back to Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired for a moment--that basic needs thing.

The problem with a gifted preschooler is that sometimes they are so logical and rational. They are often right...
Forum: Parenting the Gifted Child   04-16-2016, 07:38 PM
Replies: 84
Views: 3,197
Posted By captain optimism
My kid did this at that age. He would get very...

My kid did this at that age. He would get very upset if he dropped something or couldn't do something right. He's still a little bit like that, though he's matured out of some of the upset. I can...
Forum: Single Parenting   04-16-2016, 07:17 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 956
Posted By captain optimism
Are you all the way divorced since then? Did the...

Are you all the way divorced since then? Did the court allow him to leave two children without insisting that he pay child support? This seems unlikely.

It's not vengeful for you to arrange child...
Forum: Parenting   04-15-2016, 11:08 AM
Replies: 26
Views: 1,096
Posted By captain optimism
Oh, no! I don't think you're overthinking things....

Oh, no! I don't think you're overthinking things. Not having sex in a monogamous committed relationship is not good for the relationship. It's a big deal, speaking as the higher-libido partner whose...
Forum: Parenting   04-14-2016, 07:38 PM
Replies: 26
Views: 1,096
Posted By captain optimism
Well, you know the first thing that a couples...

Well, you know the first thing that a couples counselor is going to suggest is that you go on a date once a week.

In fact, even when my husband was leaving me, my dad's first cousin who is a...
Forum: Single Parenting   04-14-2016, 07:13 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 656
Posted By captain optimism
I love your username and your mental orientation....

I love your username and your mental orientation.

I just looked at the study at the link you provided, and I think it's a check in the positive column for remarriage, and not an ambivalent one as...
Forum: The Childhood Years   04-13-2016, 07:42 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 608
Posted By captain optimism
I saw this article by Carla Naumberg...

I saw this article by Carla Naumberg (https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2016/04/12/how-a-social-worker-ended-up-talking-to-her-young-daughters-about-puberty/) and thought of this...
Forum: Parenting the Gifted Child   04-12-2016, 07:17 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 725
Posted By captain optimism
My son at that age liked All of a Kind Family. He...

My son at that age liked All of a Kind Family. He was an only child and loved reading about a family with a lot of sisters. (Loved it enough that he improved his reading level with the books. He was...
Forum: Learning at School   04-11-2016, 03:06 PM
Replies: 32
Views: 2,125
Posted By captain optimism
No, it's not common in my area to arrest parents...

No, it's not common in my area to arrest parents for coming into the school building! That's terrible. I have encountered principals who wanted to limit the movement of parents in the...
Forum: The Childhood Years   04-10-2016, 07:08 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 608
Posted By captain optimism
Get a book! In my experience, kids only have...

Get a book! In my experience, kids only have patience to listen to as much as they can handle about sex. (Probably about other things too, but it's most noticeable about sex.)

We got the book...
Forum: Single Parenting   04-07-2016, 04:17 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 956
Posted By captain optimism
Sure, people change, but she needs to see a lot...

Sure, people change, but she needs to see a lot more evidence that he has changed than a single phone call. Eventually they might move past it, if he is able to act like a person for more than that...
Forum: Single Parenting   03-30-2016, 10:50 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 641
Posted By captain optimism
I think it's fine to have a long-distance...

I think it's fine to have a long-distance relationship or one that isn't going to become a live-in one with someone who isn't great at parenting. The minute you are thinking of becoming more serious,...
Forum: Parenting the Gifted Child   03-20-2016, 09:02 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 759
Posted By captain optimism
I think you have telegraphed to us that what you...

I think you have telegraphed to us that what you would like to do, if it's possible, is hold your son back a year to allow him to achieve more emotional maturity. That makes sense to me! Nothing odd...
Forum: Women's Health   03-08-2016, 11:11 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 749
Posted By captain optimism
I can't listen to my body, either. Even though my...

I can't listen to my body, either. Even though my upbringing wasn't as damaging as yours, it left me without a totally reliable appetite. I also have a lot of shame about food and eating from being...
Forum: Women's Health   03-08-2016, 06:43 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 749
Posted By captain optimism
Actually, anorexia literally means "without...

Actually, anorexia literally means "without appetite." The nervosa part is to indicate that it's psychological, though we don't tend to use nervous in that way anymore. If you're finding it hard to...
Forum: Parenting the Gifted Child   03-02-2016, 12:24 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 813
Posted By captain optimism
In the US there is a practice called...

In the US there is a practice called "red-shirting," when parents let children go to kindergarten on the late side. This works best if your child has a birthday that's near the border of one year and...
Forum: Single Parenting   02-28-2016, 11:48 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 418
Posted By captain optimism
We split the Jewish holidays and Thanksgiving in...

We split the Jewish holidays and Thanksgiving in the formal agreement, and have had to do the other special days informally.

It's still really hard to be separate from my son on some of those...
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