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Search: Keyword(s): ; Posts Made By: VocalMinority
Forum: Single Parenting   Yesterday, 06:10 AM
Replies: 3
  Custody
Views: 195
Posted By VocalMinority
It is disorienting and scary to have someone...

It is disorienting and scary to have someone threaten to take away your child, even part time. Remind yourself:

1) When you and your ex walk into court - before any clever arguments are made -...
Forum: Single Parenting   09-13-2014, 11:47 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 510
Posted By VocalMinority
As frustrating as that is... 1) It's good to...

As frustrating as that is...

1) It's good to know you have the self-control to put your kids first, right?

2) The limits/waiting will tell you the quality of this relationship (or others).
...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   09-05-2014, 06:11 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 305
Posted By VocalMinority
Read "StepMonster" by Wednesday Martin. Don't be...

Read "StepMonster" by Wednesday Martin. Don't be put off by the title. It's not a tutorial on hating or being cruel to your step-kids. You probably won't relate to everything in it (I didn't), but...
Forum: Stay at Home Parents   09-05-2014, 05:35 AM
Replies: 20
Views: 840
Posted By VocalMinority
My son is 6. As a rule, I think girls are...

My son is 6. As a rule, I think girls are generally ready to be home alone - or responsible for younger kids - at earlier ages than boys are. But I still wouldn't leave a 6-year-old girl home...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-29-2014, 09:41 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 439
Posted By VocalMinority
For me, it took a lot of repetition, a bit of...

For me, it took a lot of repetition, a bit of compromise and my ex marrying someone more focused (on things besides work) and more considerate than he is.

We don't quarrel over my ex letting...
Forum: Co-sleeping and the Family Bed   08-29-2014, 08:51 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 383
Posted By VocalMinority
:lol Rigorous exercise right before the...

:lol

Rigorous exercise right before the bedtime routine? Run around chasing fireflies, go on a bike ride or see how high you can count as she jumps on one of those mini trampolines.

I don't...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-27-2014, 07:25 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 788
Posted By VocalMinority
:Hug So sorry to hear all of this! Although...

:Hug So sorry to hear all of this!

Although my ex and I generally get along very well, every few years I unintentionally press his button about something and he will lash out with the most...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-26-2014, 09:07 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 443
Posted By VocalMinority
Then good for you. Each reality you've mentioned...

Then good for you. Each reality you've mentioned - responsibility without authority; a sense of disproportionate return on your investment of time and effort; the difficulty of feeling parental love...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-25-2014, 02:27 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 788
Posted By VocalMinority
I would say something. You can't expect to...

I would say something. You can't expect to change his personality or behavior. But I think subversive, divisive people are strengthened when others avoid confronting them, out of embarrassment for...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-22-2014, 07:20 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 388
Posted By VocalMinority
We don't know, yet. XW-1 paid off a 2nd mortgage...

We don't know, yet. XW-1 paid off a 2nd mortgage (or something) and the paperwork - which was supposed to confirm that nothing's attached to her title anymore, besides the primary mortgage - said...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-22-2014, 05:01 AM
Replies: 16
Views: 697
Posted By VocalMinority
We married in a tiny, rural town ~1.5 hours from...

We married in a tiny, rural town ~1.5 hours from home. It was abandoned during the Depression and later, all the remaining 1850's-era buildings (a general store, grist mill and a number of cottages)...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-21-2014, 05:55 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 388
Posted By VocalMinority
What the fudge-sicles????

DH has a first ex-wife, who lives in our city; with whom he has 2 adult sons and with whom he and I get along well. I like her a lot, actually. I think they were just young and not ready to be...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-20-2014, 09:15 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 376
Posted By VocalMinority
Your kids are pretty little. I'd guide them...

Your kids are pretty little. I'd guide them toward working this out on their own, as they get older, by doing what it sounds like you're already doing: paying attention to what matters to them and...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-14-2014, 07:17 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 803
Posted By VocalMinority
Sorry! I never thought you meant that. ...

Sorry! I never thought you meant that.

There's no question DSS wanted to leave. There's also no question that if Mom knew we were coming to get him "early", she'd go to extremes to prevent it. ...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-13-2014, 09:13 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 803
Posted By VocalMinority
DSS is home and started school Tuesday. His mom...

DSS is home and started school Tuesday. His mom "bent over backward" with a typical Pyrrhic "compromise": she let him fly home Sunday night, despite wanting him to stay until Monday night. He...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-06-2014, 02:38 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 803
Posted By VocalMinority
You're right. It seems a sure thing at this...

You're right. It seems a sure thing at this point, that he's staying with us 'til college, because he wants to. I assume that's why Mom is starting to let him see a different side of her. She has...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-05-2014, 07:44 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 803
Posted By VocalMinority
Just the usual visit drama...

DSS's non-custodial, out of state mom now refuses to let him return from his summer visit, for high school Orientation/Picture Day at the end of this week. She will only send him back the night...
Forum: Parenting   08-04-2014, 08:00 PM
Replies: 24
Views: 962
Posted By VocalMinority
DH and I have approached it this way (which I...

DH and I have approached it this way (which I think is very appropriate):

1- You should do basic chores, appropriate to your age, simply because you live here. (But above-and-beyond chores, like...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   06-06-2014, 06:19 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,136
Posted By VocalMinority
Primarily, you should be concerned with the girls...

Primarily, you should be concerned with the girls not being miserable or embarrassed and their special events being about them, not about their parents' conflict. If you know their mom will create...
Forum: Single Parenting   06-02-2014, 07:37 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,056
Posted By VocalMinority
When you should and shouldn't listen to yourself...

I just wrote a long post and lost it, because I was suddenly logged out. Argh! Let me try to reproduce the gist of it...

Regarding abortion, you must listen to yourself. If you have one, you...
Forum: Preteens and Teens   05-27-2014, 08:45 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 1,173
Posted By VocalMinority
I was just reflecting on this issue today!  I've...

I was just reflecting on this issue today!  I've dealt with a somewhat exaggerated/magnified version of what you're going through, for years.  My twins sons are mildly-moderately Autistic.  They...
Forum: Single Parenting   05-22-2014, 09:07 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 588
Posted By VocalMinority
"He now is claiming that him and his ex-wife,...

"He now is claiming that him and his ex-wife, who he is "working things out with" will fight me for full custody if I take him to court for child support, and that they'll raise my daughter to call...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   05-19-2014, 06:08 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 440
Posted By VocalMinority
Thanks for the validation.     Perhaps the...

Thanks for the validation.  
 
Perhaps the most frustrating aspect of DSS's mom is her spin-doctoring.  I have extremely negative gut impressions of most things she does.  But she always spins...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   05-18-2014, 10:22 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 440
Posted By VocalMinority
DSS's mom and I are both Facebook friends with...

DSS's mom and I are both Facebook friends with one of DSS's friends, from preschool.  DSS's mom and I both used to know the friend's mom and, of course, the kid himself - at least, back when he...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   05-17-2014, 08:08 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 318
Posted By VocalMinority
My only (probably not very useful) experience is...

My only (probably not very useful) experience is that when my dad was a career Army officer years ago, at least once he was permitted to leave his family behind, serve a shorter tour, and be...
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