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Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   06-23-2014, 08:40 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 442
Posted By Smithie
I have absolutely no issues with two people...

I have absolutely no issues with two people deciding that a baby is better off with its father than with its mother. I'd like to see it happen more often, frankly, in situations where the mother is...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   06-23-2014, 08:31 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 573
Posted By Smithie
As part of the "live and learn," I'd put the...

As part of the "live and learn," I'd put the whole thing in writing through email - the fact that you had to move around camps, noting financial losses if any, and asking for 60 days days notice next...
Forum: Adoptive and Foster Parenting   06-23-2014, 08:24 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 392
Posted By Smithie
WOW. I thought I had the gold medal locked down...

WOW. I thought I had the gold medal locked down for "offensive things actual adults will say out loud when your adopted child is within earshot" but NO. YOU WIN.
Forum: Adoptive and Foster Parenting   06-23-2014, 08:20 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 391
Posted By Smithie
I also agree with Lauren. It would actually be...

I also agree with Lauren. It would actually be better for the child to be adopted at birth than to be raised in your home for a couple of years and then given back. The chief consideration is to...
Forum: Adoptive and Foster Parenting   06-23-2014, 08:10 AM
Replies: 128
Views: 4,150
Posted By Smithie
You are a pro, MountainMama. I didn't get rid of...

You are a pro, MountainMama. I didn't get rid of that knot for months. :clap

TeamViddy, I'm not going to say much on this topic because I am so biased - our eldest was adopted at age nine and it...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   06-09-2014, 08:00 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 842
Posted By Smithie
I agree with VocalMinority. Inviting dad without...

I agree with VocalMinority. Inviting dad without girlfriend to a child's party is socially normal. Inviting Dad without WIFE to a birthday party is behavior that no normal person will countenance....
Forum: Adoptive and Foster Parenting   06-09-2014, 07:33 AM
Replies: 128
Views: 4,150
Posted By Smithie
TeamViddy wrote: We let go last night. There...

TeamViddy wrote:

We let go last night. There was a lot of crying from both the child and me, and DH and I felt a terrible vacuum when he left. And that was after a week and we knew he was going...
Forum: Learning at Home and Beyond   05-26-2014, 05:21 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 361
Posted By Smithie
We use Story of the World for world history, and...

We use Story of the World for world history, and The Story of US for American history.
Forum: Adoptive and Foster Parenting   05-21-2014, 10:24 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 434
Posted By Smithie
I adopted out of birth order, and it turned out...

I adopted out of birth order, and it turned out wonderfully. Everybody is getting what they need. The pathologizing of older-child adoption is a really outdated attitude. 
 
THAT SAID, with a...
Forum: Adoptive and Foster Parenting   05-21-2014, 10:18 AM
Replies: 128
Views: 4,150
Posted By Smithie
 We recently attended an info meeting and found...

 We recently attended an info meeting and found out that we CAN begin the process now, even though we were originally told we couldn't apply because we were not allowed to move our bio-kids into...
Forum: Adoptive and Foster Parenting   05-21-2014, 10:12 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 244
Posted By Smithie
If you want to adopt a non-infant child...

If you want to adopt a non-infant child domestically, getting approved by your state's child services adoption program is your first step. You'll have to take some training classes and do a bunch of...
Forum: Adoptive and Foster Parenting   05-21-2014, 09:00 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 244
Posted By Smithie
One_Girl, are you considering international...

One_Girl, are you considering international adoption, or domestic adoption from foster care? Both are certainly workable methods for bringing home a child in the 3-to-5 age range. 
Forum: Adoptive and Foster Parenting   05-03-2014, 10:39 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 509
Posted By Smithie
OP, going to a therapist was a good idea, but it...

OP, going to a therapist was a good idea, but it sounds like fate landed you with a really terrible one for your particular issues, since his suggestion was to send away some of your children rather...
Forum: Adoptive and Foster Parenting   05-03-2014, 09:18 AM
Replies: 128
Views: 4,150
Posted By Smithie
My question of the day: anybody have any...

My question of the day: anybody have any suggestions for a thoughtful Mother's Day gift (I was thinking jewelry) for my son's other mother? She placed three children for adoption, is very Christian,...
Forum: Adoptive and Foster Parenting   05-03-2014, 09:16 AM
Replies: 128
Views: 4,150
Posted By Smithie
They're putting a halt to an adoption already in...

They're putting a halt to an adoption already in progress? Geez. I know people doing infant adoption who had to "hop out of the pool" when they conceived, but nobody who had to give up an existing...
Forum: Adoptive and Foster Parenting   04-19-2014, 12:23 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 401
Posted By Smithie
Welcome, mountainmom1. Thank you for becoming a...

Welcome, mountainmom1. Thank you for becoming a foster mom. 
 
I have fostered two 4-year-olds. In your shoes, I would start by taking that "ADHD secondary to frontal lobe disorder" DX and putting...
Forum: Adoptive and Foster Parenting   02-03-2014, 05:31 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 476
Posted By Smithie
We adopted our son a month before his ninth...

We adopted our son a month before his ninth birthday. He wanted to keep his first name and we allowed that (obviously), even though it's objectively a pretty awful name. Changing his surname was...
Forum: Adoptive and Foster Parenting   01-01-2014, 01:44 PM
Replies: 334
Views: 8,012
Posted By Smithie
Last big news of the year - 12/31 was the...

Last big news of the year - 12/31 was the one-year anniversary of my son's adoption. I can't thank all of you enough for your help and support during our fostering journey!
...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   12-17-2013, 07:32 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 332
Posted By Smithie
I am so stinking happy for you. I really thought...

I am so stinking happy for you. I really thought this whole saga was going to end with you and DH heartbroken and DSS having really sketchy parenting throughout his teenage years.
...
Forum: Parenting   12-15-2013, 07:09 PM
Replies: 47
Views: 1,482
Posted By Smithie
I have three kids born within two weeks of each...

I have three kids born within two weeks of each other (in different years!) so I often say something like "we all enjoy books and board games!" which lets people know that they don't have to bring...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   12-14-2013, 12:14 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 332
Posted By Smithie
I was actually thinking of you the other day -...

I was actually thinking of you the other day - "Hmmmm, I wonder what travel drama VM will be dealing with this holiday season?" http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/eyesroll.gif

I agree that...
Forum: Adoptive and Foster Parenting   12-12-2013, 07:30 PM
Replies: 334
Views: 8,012
Posted By Smithie
http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/joy.gif...

http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/joy.gifhttp://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/joy.gifhttp://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/joy.gifhttp://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/joy.gifhtt...
Forum: Parenting   12-12-2013, 11:14 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 247
Posted By Smithie
...my nearly 13 year old just told me last night...

...my nearly 13 year old just told me last night that she doesn't want friends over because our house is not as clean as theirs.
 
Sounds like somebody needs a reality check. And a list of daily...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   12-12-2013, 11:03 AM
Replies: 19
Views: 476
Posted By Smithie
Oh, absolutely, supervision. That would be...

Oh, absolutely, supervision. That would be necessary even if the man were a US Senator (maybe especially then - just kidding!). Nobody was suggesting that the OP leave her kids with a stranger -...
Forum: Stay at Home Parents   12-11-2013, 06:58 PM
Replies: 43
Views: 4,831
Posted By Smithie
I don't mind it, but we're very honest about it....

I don't mind it, but we're very honest about it. We know what we have and we know how it would be divided in a divorce. I can run the numbers and see that I'd be OK for a reasonable period while I...
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