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Forum: Single Parenting   09-01-2015, 09:25 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 272
Posted By captain optimism
Yup. Ignore the hissy fit. Also, don't give her...

Yup. Ignore the hissy fit. Also, don't give her the second day, either. Why would that be good for your son? I don't even understand the argument that she's your ex-husband's fiancé. You are...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-27-2015, 08:16 AM
Replies: 19
Views: 735
Posted By captain optimism
It really sucks that you live in a state where...

It really sucks that you live in a state where you cannot cover an ex-spouse after divorce! I know it determines what people do with their marriages. I had heard of people in California not getting...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-24-2015, 11:57 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 326
Posted By captain optimism
You live in the country and it's still summer,...

You live in the country and it's still summer, and you have two kids who are close in age. Can the older ones play outside? Do you have to be literally on top of them at every minute to ensure they...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-18-2015, 10:50 AM
Replies: 19
Views: 735
Posted By captain optimism
The laws in California require gun shops to post...

The laws in California require gun shops to post a warning about giving minors access to guns. This tells me that unlike some other states in the US, there is some legal reasoning in the state law to...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-18-2015, 06:14 AM
Replies: 19
Views: 735
Posted By captain optimism
It's more that since a gun dealer has to post...

It's more that since a gun dealer has to post warnings about making guns available to minors, it is inappropriate for minors to be in the store at all. It's very hard for your ex to argue that he...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-17-2015, 02:52 PM
Replies: 19
Views: 735
Posted By captain optimism
There is a law in California about gun storage...

There is a law in California about gun storage and children. Licensed gun dealers have to have warnings posted in their stores about not giving access to children. (I just looked this up because I...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-12-2015, 09:38 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 715
Posted By captain optimism
Oh, I wish I hadn't given you all that advice...

Oh, I wish I hadn't given you all that advice about how to get things calm after the separation! You haven't actually separated. You still don't have a say in how frequently your husband shows up in...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-10-2015, 06:28 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 310
Posted By captain optimism
Yes. He doesn't need strictness or punishment. He...

Yes. He doesn't need strictness or punishment. He needs regular food, regular sleep, and outdoor play with other children. He's going to be a mess when he goes to school, and it's avoidable. He needs...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-07-2015, 06:12 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 397
Posted By captain optimism
Oh honey, I am so sorry. The teacher won't...

Oh honey, I am so sorry.

The teacher won't think less of your boys. The boys are OK with the haircuts. You can get them hats to protect their heads from the sun. Their hair will grow.

But I...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-06-2015, 05:11 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 715
Posted By captain optimism
I did this, but I have only one child. My...

I did this, but I have only one child. My struggles were different. One thing that was the same: my ex did not help around the house--in fact, the opposite--and our house was a mess when he left.
...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-04-2015, 05:53 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 387
Posted By captain optimism
I used something like this at an old job. It was...

I used something like this at an old job. It was part of the service that came with the database. I just looked to see whether there was a tracker native to gmail. There isn't, but a whole list of...
Forum: Single Parenting   07-15-2015, 07:30 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 369
Posted By captain optimism
I have not dealt with similar, therefore my free...

I have not dealt with similar, therefore my free advice is worth every penny!

What are your obligations to the kids and the ex? To the kids, as their mom, you should communicate whatever social...
Forum: Single Parenting   07-14-2015, 08:32 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 444
Posted By captain optimism
One thing that has helped me with my son is to...

One thing that has helped me with my son is to talk to him about what my role is with him. It's tricky to be responsible for showing him how to do everything. I have to show him how to take care of...
Forum: Co-sleeping and the Family Bed   06-29-2015, 07:41 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,007
Posted By captain optimism
(I did not get my kid out of the bed until he was...

(I did not get my kid out of the bed until he was already in school, so it's really shameful that I have the gall to give advice.)

My friends could not co-sleep with their son. They transitioned...
Forum: Parenting the Gifted Child   06-05-2015, 07:06 AM
Replies: 26
Views: 1,114
Posted By captain optimism
I think the point of a summer reading program is...

I think the point of a summer reading program is to get the kids to the library, taking out and reading books. In the OP's place, I would focus on the process of finding books that correspond to the...
Forum: The Childhood Years   05-26-2015, 06:46 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 1,302
Posted By captain optimism
I think a friendly email to your ex explaining...

I think a friendly email to your ex explaining that the police said to keep her with you until the investigation is done and reminding him that you are the primary parent would be good. You will want...
Forum: Parenting   05-24-2015, 08:23 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 560
Posted By captain optimism
What is the reason that you think you might need...

What is the reason that you think you might need a child locator? Are you sharing custody of the child with an untrustworthy ex?

I cannot think of a reason why a child under 10 would be wearing a...
Forum: Single Parenting   05-08-2015, 01:06 PM
Replies: 42
Views: 2,519
Posted By captain optimism
Though I agree a solution where you don't have to...

Though I agree a solution where you don't have to cancel the older kids' plans is best, and possible, I'm very sorry that these situations always demand problem-solving from the mom. The men have...
Forum: Single Parenting   05-07-2015, 10:38 AM
Replies: 42
Views: 2,519
Posted By captain optimism
Part of the problem is, and I know this is...

Part of the problem is, and I know this is absolutely true for me, you want your children with you. I only have one little boy and having to give up time with him is so hard. I still have bad dreams...
Forum: Single Parenting   05-07-2015, 09:06 AM
Replies: 42
Views: 2,519
Posted By captain optimism
No matter how you slice it, a divorced mom has to...

No matter how you slice it, a divorced mom has to stand up to someone. I think sometimes you have to stand up to both the ex and the current partner.

Don't let the ex rip off your kids of the...
Forum: Single Parenting   05-03-2015, 08:33 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 805
Posted By captain optimism
This is not about whether guns are bad. ...

This is not about whether guns are bad.

This is about whether a three-year-old with a gun could accidentally shoot someone and kill them. The answer to that question is yes.

We also don't...
Forum: Single Parenting   05-02-2015, 09:34 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 805
Posted By captain optimism
You're going to be surprised to hear this. Not...

You're going to be surprised to hear this. Not every state in the US has laws about gun safety. Most do, about 28:

http://smartgunlaws.org/child-access-prevention-policy-summary/

The rest...
Forum: Parenting   04-05-2015, 02:26 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 1,858
Posted By captain optimism
Thanks! These are all good suggestions. So far,...

Thanks! These are all good suggestions. So far, the running club has been good. He started two weeks ago. He's slow and has relatively poor endurance, but it's not competitive so he is enjoying...
Forum: Single Parenting   04-05-2015, 06:50 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 771
Posted By captain optimism
We also do 50/50, for the last four years since...

We also do 50/50, for the last four years since my son was 8. He was already older and cared deeply about things being fair. It helped him a lot to know when switch days were and what to expect. If...
Forum: Single Parenting   03-24-2015, 05:51 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 625
Posted By captain optimism
I'm so sorry that happened. Your husband was...

I'm so sorry that happened. Your husband was completely in the wrong. What he did was unacceptable. No matter what you decide to do about the marriage, it was a good thing that you spoke up.

It...
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