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Forum: Gentle Discipline   11-28-2010, 06:43 AM
Replies: 28
Views: 1,700
Posted By mamaduck
A couple of thoughts for the next gathering - ...

A couple of thoughts for the next gathering -
 
1) Do set out the expectations ahead of time.
2) Decide on a reasonable amount of time for your visit (something you think the kids can handle) and...
Forum: Preteens and Teens   11-24-2010, 12:59 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 573
Posted By mamaduck
I don't know if the specific comments are...

I don't know if the specific comments are typical, but the inclination to say things that will make mom visible uncomfortable is certainly very typical.   I am "teased" perpetually by my 14 year old...
Forum: Gentle Discipline   11-24-2010, 09:29 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,375
Posted By mamaduck
Your husband's strategy of doing it for him is...

Your husband's strategy of doing it for him is not a terrible idea.  The choice is basically, "Do you want to dress yourself, or do you want me to help you with it?"   The message is that its going...
Forum: Gentle Discipline   09-09-2010, 10:57 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 694
Posted By mamaduck
I think she'll get into the swing of it after a...

I think she'll get into the swing of it after a few weeks. Forming a habit takes some time. Its hard in the beginning though! I do think that you need to set the time and the place, and that it...
Forum: Gentle Discipline   04-11-2010, 11:28 AM
Replies: 19
Views: 819
Posted By mamaduck
There is something about 9 year olds. Lots of...

There is something about 9 year olds. Lots of attitude and drama. (Around here its tears and foot stamping over the request to take a shower, etc.) It does help a lot to have set routines. Do the...
Forum: Gentle Discipline   04-03-2010, 10:18 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 693
Posted By mamaduck
Is there any pattern regarding the types of...

Is there any pattern regarding the types of things that trigger her?

What does an average day look like for her?
Forum: Gentle Discipline   03-30-2010, 07:57 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 545
Posted By mamaduck
Working with other people's children, I have...

Working with other people's children, I have included the children in making a construction paper thermometer and marking off different "levels" of noise on the thermometer. "Inside voices" would be...
Forum: Gentle Discipline   03-28-2010, 10:41 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 812
Posted By mamaduck
Having worked in 3 different schools, I will say...

Having worked in 3 different schools, I will say that we were NEVER allowed to disclose the name of the other student in any sort of incident because too often parents will "fight it out" on their...
Forum: Learning at School   03-21-2010, 09:23 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 2,162
Posted By mamaduck
Put your request for a seat change in writing...

Put your request for a seat change in writing and CC the principal and the school counselor.
Forum: Learning at School   03-19-2010, 09:50 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 2,162
Posted By mamaduck
I would probably have asked for a class change...

I would probably have asked for a class change long before now. It is late in the year to do that now, but may still be worthwhile. I personally would not phone the parents, because they may be...
Forum: Learning at School   03-12-2010, 09:21 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 700
Posted By mamaduck
I've known kids with quirks to be miserable in...

I've known kids with quirks to be miserable in catholic school and then do better in public school where they are more accostomed to a variety of behaviors and differences.
Forum: Preteens and Teens   03-10-2010, 08:44 PM
Replies: 42
Views: 3,481
Posted By mamaduck
Quote: So far I'm not exactly impressed with...

Quote:
So far I'm not exactly impressed with her follow-up, given that I left a message yesterday and haven't heard back yet.
Is the therapist part of a group or an agency? If so -- there may be a...
Forum: Preteens and Teens   03-09-2010, 07:28 PM
Replies: 42
Views: 3,481
Posted By mamaduck
Good idea to talk to feel her out about therapy....

Good idea to talk to feel her out about therapy. I was going to suggest that but you beat me to it!

I would ask potential therapists about their approach. It is difficult to find someone...
Forum: Preteens and Teens   03-07-2010, 09:32 PM
Replies: 42
Views: 3,481
Posted By mamaduck
Do you have reason to believe that she would...

Do you have reason to believe that she would attach a particular stigma to being in therapy? Kids don't always have the same judgements and assumptions that adults do.

If you do bring it up,...
Forum: Preteens and Teens   03-07-2010, 02:30 PM
Replies: 42
Views: 3,481
Posted By mamaduck
Having worked with a lot of anxious kids, I will...

Having worked with a lot of anxious kids, I will say that most of them really liked therapy, and that a lot of talking isn't really necessary. If the therpist is decent he or she will have a variety...
Forum: Preteens and Teens   03-07-2010, 02:11 PM
Replies: 42
Views: 3,481
Posted By mamaduck
Quote: Originally Posted by mamahart...

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamahart http://www.mothering.com/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif (http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/post/15155260)
I honestly cannot believe anyone is...
Forum: Preteens and Teens   03-07-2010, 11:55 AM
Replies: 42
Views: 3,481
Posted By mamaduck
I'm hearing enough red flags in your post to...

I'm hearing enough red flags in your post to warrent your concerns for her. I think you are handling things well, but it might be helpful to her to start learning some strategies for coping and...
Forum: Gentle Discipline   03-07-2010, 11:05 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 715
Posted By mamaduck
I forgot to say that I'd also stop taking money...

I forgot to say that I'd also stop taking money from your daughter as a cosequence for power struggles. If the money is tied to the task of babysitting, and she babysits, then give her the money....
Forum: Gentle Discipline   03-07-2010, 11:01 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 715
Posted By mamaduck
I would organize your expectations into 2...

I would organize your expectations into 2 catagories:

1) One or two set chores that are reasonable and age appropriate that happen every day at the same time as part of your routine. These should...
Forum: Learning at School   03-04-2010, 10:36 PM
Replies: 52
Views: 5,767
Posted By mamaduck
It is not ideal to have 20, 25, or 30 five year...

It is not ideal to have 20, 25, or 30 five year olds in one class. But this is the reality in a lot of schools. Even with 15 - 20, it is a lot to manage. You really do have to build in routines and...
Forum: Gentle Discipline   03-04-2010, 10:06 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 528
Posted By mamaduck
I do think its important to take the toys and...

I do think its important to take the toys and return them, consistently, after giving him one chance to return it himself. Having said that though -- I quit playgroup when my kid went through that...
Forum: Gentle Discipline   03-04-2010, 09:59 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 1,187
Posted By mamaduck
When I did gym classes with my younger son (a...

When I did gym classes with my younger son (a long time ago!) the 18-36 month class involved a lot of freedom, choices, wandering, etc.. and parents just kind of shadowed them and spotted for them...
Forum: Gentle Discipline   03-04-2010, 09:51 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 503
Posted By mamaduck
Quote: But today I fantasized the thought of...

Quote:
But today I fantasized the thought of someone calling cps so someone would remove my kids just for the mornings.
I've had all kinds of bizarre fantasies like this when I'm tired,...
Forum: Preteens and Teens   03-02-2010, 10:39 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 724
Posted By mamaduck
What grade is he in? Is he in the oldest grade...

What grade is he in? Is he in the oldest grade in an elementary school, or has he changed schools this year for middle school?

I agree with the pp that it is age appropriate behavior, and I like...
Forum: Preteens and Teens   03-02-2010, 10:36 PM
Replies: 86
Views: 5,996
Posted By mamaduck
I have 13 and 9 yo sons. The scenario makes no...

I have 13 and 9 yo sons. The scenario makes no sense to me.

1) I could not catch my 9 yo. if he ran off. He's faster than I am. Even if I were in better shape than I am, I'd not be able to catch...
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