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Forum: Multicultural Families   01-15-2011, 06:25 PM
Replies: 27
Views: 2,154
Posted By patecake
Hey, Mambera, glad you jumped in! I will clarify...

Hey, Mambera, glad you jumped in! I will clarify a little by saying that I actually very seldom get asked the question directly, "What's your/your baby's ethnicity?" And if I did, I actually don't...
Forum: Multicultural Families   01-15-2011, 12:13 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,417
Posted By patecake
Hi again, blithespirit!    I think it's...

Hi again, blithespirit! 
 
I think it's really awesome that you're so invested in giving your girls their Chinese language heritage. Your husband is really lucky to have not only your buy-in, but...
Forum: Multicultural Families   01-14-2011, 11:36 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,347
Posted By patecake
Oh, I'm really happy that you found what I wrote...

Oh, I'm really happy that you found what I wrote to be helpful. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you! I certainly don't want to generalize my own experience to all Chinese families, but I can...
Forum: Multicultural Families   01-14-2011, 07:33 PM
Replies: 27
Views: 2,154
Posted By patecake
Hey, Chamomile Girl! Oakland here. Yeah, you're...

Hey, Chamomile Girl! Oakland here. Yeah, you're totally right in saying that it can go in all directions (and I apologize if it sounded like I was implying otherwise). It's a really sad fact, I...
Forum: Multicultural Families   01-14-2011, 04:31 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,347
Posted By patecake
Oh, also, you've probably already done this, but...

Oh, also, you've probably already done this, but have you tried redirecting her comments into something positive? I don't know what, specifically, but maybe you could try something like... "Yes, the...
Forum: Multicultural Families   01-14-2011, 04:14 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,347
Posted By patecake
Hi, blithespirit,   I don't have a solution...

Hi, blithespirit,
 
I don't have a solution for you, unfortunately, but I just wanted to quickly lend my support. I can't identify entirely, because in my marriage, I'm the Chinese one! My in-laws...
Forum: Multicultural Families   01-14-2011, 03:51 AM
Replies: 27
Views: 2,154
Posted By patecake
Ah, this is such an interesting challenge for...

Ah, this is such an interesting challenge for me, trying to understand that line between harmless, genuine, non-fetishizing curiosity, and, well, the other kind. I'm still figuring it out. Also,...
Forum: Multicultural Families   01-14-2011, 02:30 AM
Replies: 34
Views: 4,675
Posted By patecake
Hi, pregnant@40 -- You're right, it's toughest...

Hi, pregnant@40 -- You're right, it's toughest because it's coming from my MIL. I get it all the time in reference to myself and my son, from all over the place, and I can just sort of shrug it off....
Forum: Multicultural Families   01-13-2011, 02:18 PM
Replies: 34
Views: 4,675
Posted By patecake
Oh, mamas, I can't tell you how much it helps to...

Oh, mamas, I can't tell you how much it helps to just know that there are others out there that "get it." You seem to know exactly how I feel.
 
Ihathi, I was *just* telling my husband yesterday...
Forum: Multicultural Families   01-12-2011, 09:44 PM
Replies: 34
Views: 4,675
Posted By patecake
Sigh. I'm so glad I found this forum. I've been...

Sigh. I'm so glad I found this forum. I've been tearing my hair out in frustration over the things my mother-in-law says every time I see her (which, being local, means at least once a week). Ugh,...
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