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Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   07-12-2017, 12:21 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 635
Posted By rubelin
as someone who was married for 10 years and has...

as someone who was married for 10 years and has now been divorced & co-parenting w/ my ex for 10 years, none of that sounds like healthy parenting. Research has shown that kids need firm boundaries...
Forum: Single Parenting   06-23-2017, 10:26 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 453
Posted By rubelin
I think a short term transition is a great idea....

I think a short term transition is a great idea. It should help you not feel so trapped to know it's only for this year, but will give everyone a chance to settle a bit and for you to see how your Ex...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   05-20-2017, 12:18 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 515
Posted By rubelin
I am so bummed ot hear that. I hope the sentiment...

I am so bummed ot hear that. I hope the sentiment is only because of a recent spate of drama that with resolve itself soon.

big hugs!
Forum: Single Parenting   05-01-2017, 11:43 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 420
Posted By rubelin
that's a lovely idea. wish I had friends I could...

that's a lovely idea. wish I had friends I could do that with =)
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   03-17-2017, 04:28 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,060
Posted By rubelin
I've also been on the other side and was not...

I've also been on the other side and was not told. Actually had an argument with my kids saying that he wasn't married and then weeks later he was wearing a ring and said they'd had a civil union...
Forum: Single Parenting   03-06-2017, 03:03 PM
Replies: 42
Views: 2,798
Posted By rubelin
one thing to consider when thinking about moving...

one thing to consider when thinking about moving away, is that he could decide he does want the child in his life and you could be ordered to return the child to the state or be considered a...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   12-31-2016, 01:02 PM
Replies: 25
Views: 2,897
Posted By rubelin
OMG! congrats!! Send one of us a PM so you can...

OMG! congrats!! Send one of us a PM so you can come back to share all about it =) We miss you and hope you & the kids are doing great!!
Forum: Work from Home Parents   10-10-2016, 11:52 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 1,019
Posted By rubelin
the only thing to really protect you is a patent....

the only thing to really protect you is a patent. However, in the fashion industry, patents aren't really done, so it's important to look into how the process works in the industry you intend to work...
Forum: Elimination Communication   08-05-2016, 10:07 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 1,566
Posted By rubelin
Absolutely normal. And there's no such thing as...

Absolutely normal. And there's no such thing as "too many misses" because it's all about keeping her comfortable & in tune w/ her body, so it's all good =)
Forum: Single Parenting   07-26-2016, 11:15 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 911
Posted By rubelin
I used 3-step divorce at the beginning of the...

I used 3-step divorce at the beginning of the process http://www.3stepdivorce.com, though in the end had a lawyer friend help with the initial filing and then did the rest through a free program that...
Forum: Single Parenting   07-10-2016, 09:53 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,204
Posted By rubelin
Like you said, he could stay in her life if he...

Like you said, he could stay in her life if he wanted to. You divorcing him didn't change him being her father but, if he's not seeing her now simply because he doesn't live in your house, then he...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   07-05-2016, 01:39 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 593
Posted By rubelin
Great outcome! Sorry the kids continue to be...

Great outcome! Sorry the kids continue to be manipulated, but hopefully the new facts and court support will ease that
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   06-06-2016, 04:58 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 832
Posted By rubelin
hugs momma! :Hug My oldest just turned 16...

hugs momma! :Hug

My oldest just turned 16 yesterday and is applying for his first job. I can see these last couple of years together just slipping away so fast. The next chapter is so exciting for...
Forum: Single Parenting   06-01-2016, 10:13 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 2,216
Posted By rubelin
Big hugs to you. I'm sorry you're having to go...

Big hugs to you. I'm sorry you're having to go through it.

Yes, it gets better. Some things get harder but not having the daily strain & stress of a bad relationship on top of everything makes a...
Forum: Single Parenting   05-20-2016, 01:48 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 2,016
Posted By rubelin
can't write much today, but I had a very similar...

can't write much today, but I had a very similar situation with my divorce 9 yrs ago. We were together nearly 10 yrs, best friends, super close, things got very stressful with kids & finances and...
Forum: Single Parenting   04-28-2016, 06:57 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,149
Posted By rubelin
Try the book "your six year old" by Ames & Ilg....

Try the book "your six year old" by Ames & Ilg. It's part of a series about child development that has been super helpful for me. The 6 yr old one saved my butt, though my marriage ended the same...
Forum: Single Parenting   04-24-2016, 10:51 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,511
Posted By rubelin
Welcome back! I do remember you, though not all...

Welcome back! I do remember you, though not all the details. I think we joined the single parenting board around the same time.

I'm sorry about your recent break up. Time and therapy have been...
Forum: Elimination Communication   04-18-2016, 12:35 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 2,902
Posted By rubelin
oh, yes, and thank you for posting it :) I...

oh, yes, and thank you for posting it :)

I am so far from the ECing world now (my kids are soon to be 16 & 12 and I am sewing my very last order of Poquito Pants and trying to sell the company)...
Forum: Single Parenting   04-14-2016, 03:58 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 752
Posted By rubelin
for the writers amoungst us =)

After hearing so many amazing and horrifying stories from many of you on our journeys as single mommas (and daddys), I thought some of you might be interested in sharing them with a wider audience....
Forum: Elimination Communication   04-11-2016, 09:54 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 2,902
Posted By rubelin
oh, yeah, it totally does work; I didn't realized...

oh, yeah, it totally does work; I didn't realized people thought it wouldn't since it's what we used as 1st time ECers.

We started EC when my oldest was 8 wks old and were major 'sposie users -...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   01-21-2016, 02:56 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 490
Posted By rubelin
Also, the Right of First Refusal is a regular...

Also, the Right of First Refusal is a regular clause in most custody agreements - it is considered the norm that children should be with one parent if the other is not available, so it's not at all...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   01-11-2016, 12:42 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 682
Posted By rubelin
I was just about to ask if he is around 10 - 11...

I was just about to ask if he is around 10 - 11 yrs old =)

He sounds like both my boys at that age, my youngest is 11.5 now & we seem to be getting on the other side of it a bit. The glares,...
Forum: Elimination Communication   01-07-2016, 12:17 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 2,550
Posted By rubelin
My oldest was 2 mo when I learned about ec and we...

My oldest was 2 mo when I learned about ec and we pretty much started right away, though slowly & part time for a while. He was a grad & potty independant by 2 yrs.

We started from the beginning...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   12-30-2015, 11:09 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,023
Posted By rubelin
Honestly I am way more freaked out by the fact...

Honestly I am way more freaked out by the fact that you're intending to spy on them & intentionally sneaking up on them to "catch them" in the act of having sex. That is such an unhealthy way to...
Forum: Elimination Communication   12-08-2015, 01:45 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 2,072
Posted By rubelin
I was always more distracted when out and about...

I was always more distracted when out and about so made sure to have lots of back-up (so I wouldn't be stressed about running out of clean pants). On the main trip we did when my youngest was about 3...
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