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Forum: The Childhood Years   Yesterday, 10:34 AM
Replies: 70
Views: 5,371
Posted By alpenglow
Anonamom, thank you so much for updating us. ...

Anonamom, thank you so much for updating us. Your posts have haunted me and I wish I could send some guardian angels to give you comfort and healing. Congratulations on the birth of a healthy baby,...
Forum: Personal Growth   11-19-2014, 01:33 AM
Replies: 27
Views: 374
Posted By alpenglow
I relate to having had difficulty asking for help...

I relate to having had difficulty asking for help in the past - grew up in a family with lots of female martyrdom (in a stoic and strong way, not a manipulative way) modelled and a primary role model...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-18-2014, 11:54 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 17
Posted By alpenglow
Good idea. Subbing. If I find any, I will share.

Good idea. Subbing. If I find any, I will share.
Forum: Single Parenting   11-18-2014, 11:48 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 75
Posted By alpenglow
Aw, hugs, Mama. What a challenging situation. ...

Aw, hugs, Mama. What a challenging situation.

The answers to your questions about custody will vary depending on the legal climate in your area. Some places are pro primary residence for young...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-17-2014, 10:00 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 535
Posted By alpenglow
I wanted to add - in case you aren't already -...

I wanted to add - in case you aren't already - please protect and guard your privacy. (you seem very astute....so maybe I will say this in case it helps a reader). If he knows your MDC username, or...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-17-2014, 09:51 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 535
Posted By alpenglow
I echo this. I never thought my x would become...

I echo this. I never thought my x would become as intimidating as he did. And the lies he tried to pull after separation! My walking on egghshells was so unconscious until the end when I finally...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-17-2014, 11:44 AM
Replies: 53
Views: 535
Posted By alpenglow
Bug hugs. This is why so many people stay. I...

Bug hugs. This is why so many people stay. I think the thing to do is to empower yourself with some solid legal advice from a very experienced family law lawyer in your area, who can give you an...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-16-2014, 09:23 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 535
Posted By alpenglow
A friend of mine (with boys, all school age),...

A friend of mine (with boys, all school age), ended up agreeing to a 50/50 arrangement ( week on/off)...but since she only worked short days, and he worked longer days, she picked them up from school...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-16-2014, 01:14 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 535
Posted By alpenglow
That's good you have a good handle on finances. ...

That's good you have a good handle on finances. Will give you better negotiating power - knowledge.

You would be very surprised about custody. I thought that would be my biggest battle...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-16-2014, 09:03 AM
Replies: 53
Views: 535
Posted By alpenglow
I would be hesitant to go anywhere during the...

I would be hesitant to go anywhere during the holidays if things are getting rocky....at least not until you have all your valuables out of the home, especially sentimentals. Plus you want copies of...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-15-2014, 07:23 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 162
Posted By alpenglow
Wanted to add that she should ask her lawyer what...

Wanted to add that she should ask her lawyer what kind of schedule for her (eg work) would increase her chances of primary custody with EOW for dad. Is she done the custody evaluation?
Forum: Single Parenting   11-14-2014, 10:03 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 535
Posted By alpenglow
Yep, totally relate to being accused of being...

Yep, totally relate to being accused of being controlling. It's a controller's way of seeing if they can dare you to give up your power and let them control you more.

I bought it for years, and...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-13-2014, 09:34 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 535
Posted By alpenglow
I found stuff like this helped - to know I wasnt...

I found stuff like this helped - to know I wasnt alone in the crazymaking. Maybe it will resonate. ...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-13-2014, 09:25 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 535
Posted By alpenglow
This is all sounding like classic verbal...

This is all sounding like classic verbal abuse...or another way of describing it could be a power imbalanced relationship where one person has more power. The key to differentiating abuse vs. just...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-13-2014, 07:41 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 535
Posted By alpenglow
I wanted to add that it was the recordings that...

I wanted to add that it was the recordings that really told me it was time to go (and it was also pointed out to me by an objective professional third party who became very alarmed after hearing...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-13-2014, 06:21 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 535
Posted By alpenglow
Nice to hear the light at end of tunnel stories! ...

Nice to hear the light at end of tunnel stories! :-)

Danesmama, it sounds like you live with a lot of crazymaking circular, spin doctor interactions. One of the most valuable tools for me in...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-12-2014, 05:25 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 140
Posted By alpenglow
And then he can turn around and claim that his...

And then he can turn around and claim that his daily involvement entitles him to 50/50 shared custody once the reality of how much child support he needs to pay hits.
Forum: Single Parenting   11-12-2014, 05:12 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 535
Posted By alpenglow
First hugs. I re-read your thread (and I...

First hugs. I re-read your thread (and I remember it back than also).

I will be blunt. He's an emotionally abusive narcissist. It's time to go. Read up all you can about the various forms of...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-12-2014, 04:31 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 237
Posted By alpenglow
That's good information to know coolmom. It...

That's good information to know coolmom.

It also makes me think about "evidence" - ie. how would the survivor be able to prove unfit parenting? Would the survivor have access to emails and...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-04-2014, 05:55 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 205
Posted By alpenglow
Hugs. BTDT (AP who married and divorced a...

Hugs.
BTDT (AP who married and divorced a functional alcoholic who is great at the denial thing). My advice would vary depending on the details of your situation. Is he aggressive or abusive when...
Forum: Single Parenting   11-03-2014, 03:56 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 244
Posted By alpenglow
I agree with GM. You are not violating a court...

I agree with GM. You are not violating a court order. An informal agreement is not legally binding. You are being very accommodating and supportive of the relationship by doing your best to...
Forum: Single Parenting   10-31-2014, 08:07 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 237
Posted By alpenglow
I think it's important for women who have this...

I think it's important for women who have this first hand experience to speak up. There are reasons for 'sore spots', and the family court system does not recognize children's rights. It's...
Forum: Single Parenting   10-29-2014, 01:49 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 237
Posted By alpenglow
I'm thinking about this because this is one of...

I'm thinking about this because this is one of many things on my to-do list, along with getting a better term-life insurance policy on me. You should be able to take care of it using a notary public...
Forum: Single Parenting   10-29-2014, 01:38 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 308
Posted By alpenglow
I was kind of thinking the same thing. We are...

I was kind of thinking the same thing. We are all moms. Just have slightly different circumstances and varying levels of support. It's easy to fall into that martyr trap of wanting to one-up...
Forum: Single Parenting   10-19-2014, 10:12 AM
Replies: 18
Views: 645
Posted By alpenglow
Thanks for keeping us updated. You should be...

Thanks for keeping us updated. You should be able to have access to the PaP forum (given your join date and number of posts). I hope your dh has the ability to self reflect and own responsibility...
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