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Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   10-18-2014, 04:15 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 248
Posted By VocalMinority
I suggested DH tell her that he's not opposed, in...

I suggested DH tell her that he's not opposed, in principle, to her wanting to have DSS on his birthday, but it's too early to know about summer school, so any dates she elects this far in advance...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   10-16-2014, 08:43 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 248
Posted By VocalMinority
It's too early for summer drama!

It shouldn't keep surprising me that my 15-y-o DSS's mom always revisits "lost battles", trying to manipulate things in fresh ways and finally "win". Yet, it does take me by surprise, every time.
...
Forum: Parenting   10-15-2014, 05:20 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 763
Posted By VocalMinority
Evidently, CPS' standard policy (here) is to...

Evidently, CPS' standard policy (here) is to spend a few minutes with kids, without any adults from their family, so the kids can feel safe reporting abuse, if there was any; and they check for signs...
Forum: Parenting   10-14-2014, 01:18 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 763
Posted By VocalMinority
I'm sure CPS responses are different, from state...

I'm sure CPS responses are different, from state to state, even county to county. But years ago, my neighbor made a very frivolous CPS report about me (I hate saying "CPS report about me" so much...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   10-14-2014, 06:01 AM
Replies: 19
Views: 1,274
Posted By VocalMinority
Re: in loco parentis

I realize the OP posted this months ago, but the topic is surely pertinent and interesting to most step-parents.

I am not an attorney, but I believe in loco parentis is relevant when a parent is...
Forum: Preteens and Teens   10-13-2014, 09:37 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 386
Posted By VocalMinority
Thanks. What you guys suggested sounds so simple...

Thanks. What you guys suggested sounds so simple and obvious - and that *is* what I ended up saying, to my friend. But right after her first call, I just felt so bad for her, imagining myself in...
Forum: Preteens and Teens   10-09-2014, 06:04 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 386
Posted By VocalMinority
Help me find words to use, re troubled teen!

My friend has asked me to take in her teenage son almost immediately, for 2-4 weeks. I will have to say no, but I just don't know how to say it. Help!

> She's an older, single mom. All her...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   10-09-2014, 06:41 AM
Replies: 16
Views: 522
Posted By VocalMinority
^^And that's my point, right there.^^ You...

^^And that's my point, right there.^^

You acknowledge it might be best for the kids to go to a local school.

A PP discussed that even if Mom enabled the kids to go to a local school by...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   10-08-2014, 08:43 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 522
Posted By VocalMinority
I really don't want to offend anyone, but I'm...

I really don't want to offend anyone, but I'm probably about to...

This type of thinking about custody arrangements - which is certainly prevalent in our society and the courts, so I'm not...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   10-08-2014, 07:31 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 522
Posted By VocalMinority
Unfortunately, bus rides of an hour or slightly...

Unfortunately, bus rides of an hour or slightly over that are not unheard of. But I think everyone understands they're undesirable. A generation ago, my city was a lot more racially segregated than...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   10-04-2014, 04:37 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 318
Posted By VocalMinority
How difficult would it be, to get legal...

How difficult would it be, to get legal guardianship? Most courts will at least take into account the wishes of a 14-y-o. Your fiance wants it. And, for better or worse, he isn't battling over...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   09-28-2014, 05:19 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 232
Posted By VocalMinority
The "Messed-Up Families" Club?

While driving my DSS and his friends to the Homecoming dance this weekend, it struck me that all - or nearly all - his closest friends have troubled mothers, like he does.

One of them lives with...
Forum: Stay at Home Parents   09-28-2014, 05:04 PM
Replies: 38
Views: 2,583
Posted By VocalMinority
When something positive - even something small -...

When something positive - even something small - helps distinguish the day from others, in my memory; and the day did not seem to simply fly by in a sea of humdrum chores that all need to be done...
Forum: Single Parenting   09-18-2014, 06:10 AM
Replies: 3
  Custody
Views: 359
Posted By VocalMinority
It is disorienting and scary to have someone...

It is disorienting and scary to have someone threaten to take away your child, even part time. Remind yourself:

1) When you and your ex walk into court - before any clever arguments are made -...
Forum: Single Parenting   09-13-2014, 11:47 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 635
Posted By VocalMinority
As frustrating as that is... 1) It's good to...

As frustrating as that is...

1) It's good to know you have the self-control to put your kids first, right?

2) The limits/waiting will tell you the quality of this relationship (or others).
...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   09-05-2014, 06:11 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 430
Posted By VocalMinority
Read "StepMonster" by Wednesday Martin. Don't be...

Read "StepMonster" by Wednesday Martin. Don't be put off by the title. It's not a tutorial on hating or being cruel to your step-kids. You probably won't relate to everything in it (I didn't), but...
Forum: Stay at Home Parents   09-05-2014, 05:35 AM
Replies: 96
Views: 2,392
Posted By VocalMinority
My son is 6. As a rule, I think girls are...

My son is 6. As a rule, I think girls are generally ready to be home alone - or responsible for younger kids - at earlier ages than boys are. But I still wouldn't leave a 6-year-old girl home...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-29-2014, 09:41 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 538
Posted By VocalMinority
For me, it took a lot of repetition, a bit of...

For me, it took a lot of repetition, a bit of compromise and my ex marrying someone more focused (on things besides work) and more considerate than he is.

We don't quarrel over my ex letting...
Forum: Co-sleeping and the Family Bed   08-29-2014, 08:51 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 512
Posted By VocalMinority
:lol Rigorous exercise right before the...

:lol

Rigorous exercise right before the bedtime routine? Run around chasing fireflies, go on a bike ride or see how high you can count as she jumps on one of those mini trampolines.

I don't...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-27-2014, 07:25 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,066
Posted By VocalMinority
:Hug So sorry to hear all of this! Although...

:Hug So sorry to hear all of this!

Although my ex and I generally get along very well, every few years I unintentionally press his button about something and he will lash out with the most...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-26-2014, 09:07 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 577
Posted By VocalMinority
Then good for you. Each reality you've mentioned...

Then good for you. Each reality you've mentioned - responsibility without authority; a sense of disproportionate return on your investment of time and effort; the difficulty of feeling parental love...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-25-2014, 02:27 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,066
Posted By VocalMinority
I would say something. You can't expect to...

I would say something. You can't expect to change his personality or behavior. But I think subversive, divisive people are strengthened when others avoid confronting them, out of embarrassment for...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-22-2014, 07:20 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 472
Posted By VocalMinority
We don't know, yet. XW-1 paid off a 2nd mortgage...

We don't know, yet. XW-1 paid off a 2nd mortgage (or something) and the paperwork - which was supposed to confirm that nothing's attached to her title anymore, besides the primary mortgage - said...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-22-2014, 05:01 AM
Replies: 16
Views: 756
Posted By VocalMinority
We married in a tiny, rural town ~1.5 hours from...

We married in a tiny, rural town ~1.5 hours from home. It was abandoned during the Depression and later, all the remaining 1850's-era buildings (a general store, grist mill and a number of cottages)...
Forum: Blended and Step Family Parenting   08-21-2014, 05:55 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 472
Posted By VocalMinority
What the fudge-sicles????

DH has a first ex-wife, who lives in our city; with whom he has 2 adult sons and with whom he and I get along well. I like her a lot, actually. I think they were just young and not ready to be...
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