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Forum: Single Parenting   09-16-2012, 06:44 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 381
Posted By thanneaKS
I think the healthiest relationships share the...

I think the healthiest relationships share the burden.  When I was married, I did the kids and the home and expected dh to support me.  I did bring in about 25% of the income, never more. After he...
Forum: Gentle Discipline   09-14-2012, 02:32 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 516
Posted By thanneaKS
The change in behavior warrants looking into...

The change in behavior warrants looking into abuse of some kind, especially sexual.  I'd probably either take her to a therapist for an evaluation or, at minimum, bringing up touching at some...
Forum: Single Parenting   09-12-2012, 12:25 PM
Replies: 304
Views: 82,847
Posted By thanneaKS
Child support for college really depends on...

Child support for college really depends on state statutes and can  be difficult to enforce.  The reasoning is this:  No child can require his/her parent to fund college.  Parents are not obligated...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-31-2012, 07:44 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 340
Posted By thanneaKS
You should still get alimony, based on the...

You should still get alimony, based on the difference between his salary and yours. And, yes, having a job will help in many ways.  Remember to take care of you.  I'm so sorry you are going through...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-31-2012, 03:57 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 340
Posted By thanneaKS
Please realize that half of everything he has...

Please realize that half of everything he has saved or put into his retirement is yours, even though you haven't worked.  I would NOT get a job right now.  Let the separate maintenance be set on...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-30-2012, 05:21 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,041
Posted By thanneaKS
You have an extremely full plate--dealing with...

You have an extremely full plate--dealing with the aftermath, recovering from childbirth, two little ones to care for, and a fractured relationship with your husband.  Absolutely, he should NOT be...
Forum: Multicultural Families   08-22-2012, 07:51 PM
Replies: 33
Views: 1,909
Posted By thanneaKS
I'd just smile and say, "We're from Florida." ...

I'd just smile and say, "We're from Florida."  Period.  Act calm and confident and friendly, however you really feel.  That should do it!!!!!
Forum: Multicultural Families   08-18-2012, 01:40 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 514
Posted By thanneaKS
Just info--two of the best books I've ever read...

Just info--two of the best books I've ever read about race/culture/family are these:
 
Black,White,Other by Lisa Funderburg
 
Intercultural Marriage by Dugan Romano
 
My husband was West...
Forum: Multicultural Families   08-17-2012, 10:32 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 514
Posted By thanneaKS
My children (black/white) are grown--in their...

My children (black/white) are grown--in their 20's and 30's, so my experience is much older.  But, yes, it happens. Actually, dd and I were in an antique store in metro Kansas City yesterday.  A...
Forum: The Childhood Years   08-13-2012, 06:43 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 679
Posted By thanneaKS
My own kids are grown, but I regularly...

My own kids are grown, but I regularly substitute teach in pre-K and kindergarten so I'm am still dealing with 5yo's.  In fact, I took six kiddos school shopping (with their mom!)  last weekend. The...
Forum: Co-sleeping and the Family Bed   08-11-2012, 07:02 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 370
Posted By thanneaKS
I am big-breasted, and my littles couldn't...

I am big-breasted, and my littles couldn't manage lying-down nursing for a month or two.  I just sat crosslegged in bed and nursed them sitting up until they were big enough to manage.  I also...
Forum: Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy   08-11-2012, 06:57 PM
Replies: 40
Views: 1,957
Posted By thanneaKS
A personal anecdote about nursing and...

A personal anecdote about nursing and miscarriage--I've had 3 births and 3 miscarriages.  I nursed well into a pregnancy and completely through another pregnancy, both with successful births.  All...
Forum: Breastfeeding   08-03-2012, 06:52 AM
Replies: 347
Views: 8,301
Posted By thanneaKS
I'm a retired mama (59).  I was bf'ing or...

I'm a retired mama (59).  I was bf'ing or pregnant or both for 11 years.  44+54+45=143 months.  A couple of years of this was tandem.  I was never preg and tandem, though!!!!!
Forum: Multicultural Families   02-28-2012, 09:55 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 542
Posted By thanneaKS
My husband died when my kids were teens. He was...

My husband died when my kids were teens. He was West Indian, and was the only member of his family living in the States.  My family pretty much disowned me when I married so we were on our own.  I...
Forum: Co-sleeping and the Family Bed   08-27-2011, 07:17 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 595
Posted By thanneaKS
I'd put a guard rail or a side sleeper on my...

I'd put a guard rail or a side sleeper on my side of the bed and keep baby on the outside. 2yo would sleep on my other side, between hubby and me.  It won't be too long until the babe will be a...
Forum: Single Parenting   08-27-2011, 07:12 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 984
Posted By thanneaKS
If he has a good job, and it sounds like he...

If he has a good job, and it sounds like he does, you should be getting enough separate maintenance and then alimony/child support to only work part time.  Make sure your lawyer insists that a...
Forum: Multicultural Families   08-24-2011, 11:57 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 587
Posted By thanneaKS
I like coconut oil. You can find scented coconut...

I like coconut oil. You can find scented coconut oil at an Indian store, unscented with the oils in the food section of  WalMart.  I rub a small amount between my hands and rub it into the hair just...
Forum: Multicultural Families   07-22-2011, 06:49 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 2,422
Posted By thanneaKS
Just a reminder from an "old" mom--someday you...

Just a reminder from an "old" mom--someday you may be in a mil's shoes, with your son married interculturally and living far away from you.  His wife may not like you and may not want to spend time...
Forum: Multicultural Families   07-13-2011, 07:56 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 2,422
Posted By thanneaKS
I reread this and it sounds more than a little...

I reread this and it sounds more than a little like stereotyping!  In reality, I was thinking of my Bengali friend (my age, 58) and what she would like from her dil. If these things don't apply to...
Forum: Multicultural Families   07-13-2011, 07:43 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 2,422
Posted By thanneaKS
First of all, get the ingredients for dh's...

First of all, get the ingredients for dh's favorite dishes and turn the mil loose in the kitchen.  Indian mothers generally love to cook and she can teach you how to make his favorite dishes.  Be...
Forum: Multicultural Families   07-13-2011, 07:33 PM
Replies: 34
Views: 2,906
Posted By thanneaKS
First, if you haven't read "Intercultural...

First, if you haven't read "Intercultural Marriage" by Dugan Romano (available thru Amazon), do it.  I didn't discover it until several years after my dh died. I cried while reading it because it...
Forum: Multicultural Families   07-12-2011, 07:25 PM
Replies: 34
Views: 2,906
Posted By thanneaKS
I subscribe to Christian Science Monitor (weekly...

I subscribe to Christian Science Monitor (weekly news magazine).  A regular contributer on the "home" page lives in East Africa (can't remember which country) and writes fascinating articles about...
Forum: Multicultural Families   07-12-2011, 02:50 PM
Replies: 34
Views: 2,906
Posted By thanneaKS
I married interracially/internationally back in...

I married interracially/internationally back in 1973.  My husband was black, from the Caribbean.  I am white/American.  We moved a lot but we ended up staying in the States for many reasons. ...
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