i can't decide if i'm being unreasonable or not. but it seems like DH, while a loving and responsible father, is kind of checked out as a parent.
let me preface this by saying i am newly pregnant and some of this could be hormonal, but i've been feeling increasingly irritated, and i've been wanting him to step up for awhile. basically, he will parent her fine (as far as i know) if i am out of the house, but as long as i am here, i feel like i am the parent on duty no matter what.
like tonight i told him i need to grade papers/send emails (it's a busy time in the semester for me, since i am teaching 2 college classes and am swamped with grading and administrative details). and i asked him if he could watch her/play with her. well, watching her really entails him sitting there doing something else, like watching TV, or knitting (yes, he knits).
the other night i was exhausted, with a splitting pregnancy headache, and i asked him to take her for awhile, and he said "okay, DD, let's go watch e! news" or whatever he was watching
then of course she gets bored and comes and wants me to play with her.
she's only 2.5. she does play some on her own, but needs frequent redirection and reminders (like, "oh. you want to go get your blocks out? how about we play with play-doh? what about you cook me some soup in your play kitchen?") and then you can kind of do something else, but you have to continually check back in and sort of guide her toward an activity, or she'll just get bored and climb on tables and torture the cats, or whatever 2 year olds do
the last straw for me was i needed to read 40 pages for teaching. i got her ready for bed, gave her a snack, brushed her teeth, nursed her--all in between sending emails to students while DH knitted and watched some plastic surgery show--then asked him to take her up to bed while i went to take a shower. 5 minutes later she's in the bathroom bothering me, and he is still watching TV. i was like "can you come get her?" and she got upset, because i sounded annoyed. i wasn't annoyed at her. i was annoyed at HIM.
i dunno, i just feel like he expects her to completely entertain herself with no help from him. and when i expect more, he then expects ME to do it, since i am the one who thinks the parenting should be different. i don't think the TV should be on 4 hours a night every night with her there. i don't think he should always be doing his thing and expecting her to just hang out and fit herself into his activities. she's 2. she can't just hang out, YK?
we have a whole upstairs, where our 2 bedrooms are, and if i need to email students or read or whatever, i don't get why he can't take her upstairs and play with her. i do that all the time, just to get her away from the TV he is watching
and to get some nice one on one time doing what she wants.
it really worries me, too, now that we have another one on the way...
let me preface this by saying i am newly pregnant and some of this could be hormonal, but i've been feeling increasingly irritated, and i've been wanting him to step up for awhile. basically, he will parent her fine (as far as i know) if i am out of the house, but as long as i am here, i feel like i am the parent on duty no matter what.
like tonight i told him i need to grade papers/send emails (it's a busy time in the semester for me, since i am teaching 2 college classes and am swamped with grading and administrative details). and i asked him if he could watch her/play with her. well, watching her really entails him sitting there doing something else, like watching TV, or knitting (yes, he knits).
the other night i was exhausted, with a splitting pregnancy headache, and i asked him to take her for awhile, and he said "okay, DD, let's go watch e! news" or whatever he was watching
then of course she gets bored and comes and wants me to play with her.
she's only 2.5. she does play some on her own, but needs frequent redirection and reminders (like, "oh. you want to go get your blocks out? how about we play with play-doh? what about you cook me some soup in your play kitchen?") and then you can kind of do something else, but you have to continually check back in and sort of guide her toward an activity, or she'll just get bored and climb on tables and torture the cats, or whatever 2 year olds do
the last straw for me was i needed to read 40 pages for teaching. i got her ready for bed, gave her a snack, brushed her teeth, nursed her--all in between sending emails to students while DH knitted and watched some plastic surgery show--then asked him to take her up to bed while i went to take a shower. 5 minutes later she's in the bathroom bothering me, and he is still watching TV. i was like "can you come get her?" and she got upset, because i sounded annoyed. i wasn't annoyed at her. i was annoyed at HIM.
i dunno, i just feel like he expects her to completely entertain herself with no help from him. and when i expect more, he then expects ME to do it, since i am the one who thinks the parenting should be different. i don't think the TV should be on 4 hours a night every night with her there. i don't think he should always be doing his thing and expecting her to just hang out and fit herself into his activities. she's 2. she can't just hang out, YK?
we have a whole upstairs, where our 2 bedrooms are, and if i need to email students or read or whatever, i don't get why he can't take her upstairs and play with her. i do that all the time, just to get her away from the TV he is watching
it really worries me, too, now that we have another one on the way...