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Feeling angry at ex

139 views 12 replies 5 participants last post by  zebra15 
#1 ·
It must be nice for Peter Pan to live in Neverneverland.

I am home dividing up Xmas decor and packing last of it away, making boxes of stuff for himthat is his and finding shit moved etc from him taking his stuff and he is at meditation class tonight getting his zen on.

And he is going away this weekend when he owes me about $550 next week...can'thave it THIS WEEK but next week when he gets paid I can. But he is going away this weekend.

Is it bad karma to pray for a flat tire for him?
 
#3 ·
Not bad karma at all. SBX owes me thousands and tells the boys he can't aford to feed them. I saw his last4 months bank statements, he's buying his girlfriends cigarettes, taking her to the movies, eatting at restaurants............. I'm hoping for a really good bout of food poisoning.......
 
#5 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by zebra15 View Post

Its not bad karma. Why are you dividing holiday decor? You are too nice. I'd keep it all and make him ask for it.
I am moving 4 hours away in August so if he wants it and asks for it I don't want to deal with shipping it back to him. I have had it laid out on the air hockey table since NYE and I finally took a glass of wine and spent hours sorting through it and putting it away in boxes carefully packed for moving and put some stuff in a box for him. Some of the crafts his kids did, things they made, their ornaments, etc. It was hard to do because I had lots of emotions around it I guess.... more than I realized. I was angry that there was so much stuff to go through and emotional that I was finding things broken when they were taken down this last Christmas.

I was sad and realizing that this last Christmas I felt more invaded than anything else w/ him staying at the house and dog sitting while we were out of town.
 
#6 ·
Agreed. You guys are wonderful, thank you for listening. <3
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Snickering...
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it snowed 3 inches. Soooo Mr.
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is going to have to decide work or go out of town with friends? Snow = snow removal side job he does for cash and it is how he is surviving this winter. $24/ hr working for these guys and usually does 12 hour shifts... and this weekend would probably be at least a 20 hour weekend... turning down that money would drive him nuts and risk him losing the side job so... awe... buttercup. Work or do fun things. The day to day decisions and choices of a WORKING PERSON that I make DAILY. Hmm....
 
#8 ·
It is my air hockey table
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LOL He didn't want one... I play against my 10 year old Aspie. LMAO It was my Easter gift to myself alst year and ex thought it was a waste. I got it for $100 off the local craigslist type site and was THRILLED to have it. LOL It has been driving me nuts to not have it in use while it was covered in Xmas decor.

I have to admit, the ONLY thing of value ex owns is his 2 year old laptop and the furniture that I gave him for his kids (bunk beds, loft bed, dressers) that is pretty much it. He buys everything else second hand or gets it for free. He is that guy from Church people take pity on and give him free stuff, etc and he buys everything else from Value Village.

It isn't that he is intentionally a mooch he just doesn't have motivation or drive to do anything so... he doesn't. He has it set up well for the kids, I will give him that. They are comfortable and he is maternal in the way he organizes the house for them etc. But... that is it.

I guess with his ex wife he was the SAHP while she worked f/t and he taught in the evenings. He made a lot more back then. Economy tanked and adults stopped taking lessons.
 
#11 ·
I am so angry and I know I shouldn't let it get to me. I am actually so mad I am fighting back tears. I am so mad at him for being a loser when he promised me that he would never do this. That this isn't what was going to happen. That he is driving to Nelson to a meditation retreat while I have cowboy coming to help me drywall and repair a bathroom and I am cleaning up the house for selling and he is going to help me put the bannister back on thw alls that ex's kids ripped off, repair the door that ex's kids broke and help me do the stuff that ex FAILED at.

Ex lived in my house for 2 years and in 2 years never helped drywall the bathroom and repair it.

He is a fail as a human being IMHO.

I am so angry and I can't figure out how to let it go.

And I just talked to cowboy who called me on his lunch break to tell me he loves me, he can't wait to spend the weekend with the kids and I am he is looking forward to playing with Becca (my 2.5 yr old who he really likes), he is bringing his PS2 and the game Dyl got addicted to at his cottage when we were down (my 10 yr old Aspie who is a gaming addict) and my 17 yr old has been texting him my fave flowers.

And James told me "don't let it get to you. Don't let him going to have fun make it so that you don't get to enjoy your weekend with me. I am going to take you dancing (two step, I love going, ex and I used to go, he was a dance teacher), help out around the house and play with Becca so you can have a nap. And if she naps I am going to come nap with you. I love you... let him live his life.

Why am I so mad at him for doing this? Aside from the fact that he is off spending money he owes me?
 
#12 ·
I would guess that you're really probably more mad at yourself than anything. I mean, it is frustrating to no end that he lets himself off the hook and blames you for all that is wrong in the world, and it's more maddening that you can't force him to see the truth.

But the truth is he KNOWS the truth and doesn't CARE and wants to have his fun regardless of the consequences. The consequences affect you more than him, so it's really not a big deal to him because he doesn't CARE, well, except maybe he does enjoy making you mad, since everything was your fault, so it's only natural he should be vengeful in a passive aggressive way.

James is absolutely right. Enjoy that you have a wonderful guy in your life now who seems to be all that you always wished your ex was and more, and focus on the reality that you don't NEED ex to care or do to move on with your life. You picked a dud, and now you got a good one. In time, your frustration at ex will turn to eye-rolling and your life will be busy with new things that don't involve your ex. So pretend that time is now, and don't complain to James anymore. Just give him a big kiss whenever you have angry thoughts about your ex, or send him a sexy text. And don't tell him that's what you're going to do because that would ruin it for him. Just do it!! He'll think you're amazing for not letting your ex get to you.
 
#13 ·
OP- sending you hugs and calming vibes. My mr wonderful is like your ex. I was always being let down, disappointed and such from him. I did a pretty good job protecting DS but it was always at my expense. (I even needed someone from my office 12 yrs ago to assemble DS crib, wonderful could not be bothered- should;ve been a clue) I went through the same things about work, can't work, etc.

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hope you like them. and I hope you make some progress on the house repairs.
 
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