The Gift Of Renewal

By Paige Polcene-Markin
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We are mothers.
We breastfeed our babies and bake their birthday cakes. We coach piano practice and soccer practice. We kiss the hurts and wipe the tears.

We are daughters.
We buy groceries and fill prescriptions. We bring the meals and rent books on tape. We give back what was given to us.

We are women.
We plan board meetings and bake sales. We write grocery lists and letters to the editor. We teach the future.

In Gifts from the Sea , Anne Morrow Lindbergh writes, "Eternally, woman spills herself away in driblets to the thirsty, seldom being allowed the time, the quiet, the peace, to let the pitcher fill up to the brim" (45). These words, originally published in 1955, still hold true today. Our energy and creativity is poured out on those we love and, all too often, the pitcher is empty with no well in sight.

All women need a time to unwind, to be creative, and to rest. We deserve the opportunity to reconnect with other women and to rejuvenate our body and spirit. There is a way to come together to fill the pitcher of our souls. With a little imaginative planning, we can give the gift of renewal to ourselves and to the women in our lives. We can offer a day away from the commotion; a day of rest, of inspiration and of conversation; a day off to replenish our store of energy and enthusiasm for life.

The days of renewal I have attended have been many and varied. They've taken place in mountain cabins, beach houses, churches, and homes; but they've all had an important element in common. They have provided a sacred space for women, a space of safety and vision.

The possibilities are endless when planning this special day. First, I keep in mind the women I have invited. I want to stretch them physically, mentally and creatively. This stretch, when accomplished, can be very rejuvenating. The activities, though, should not make them so uncomfortable that it affects their enjoyment of the day. I reassure my guests that they are welcome to participate in any or all activities, but that they can feel comfortable to decline and to take a quiet time to read, write, or rest instead.

The day begins with introductions and muffins. Guests may use this time to make nametags or have a cup of coffee with a friend. When everyone has arrived, we gather for a moment of quiet. This can consist of prayer, guided meditation or focused breathing and stretching. It is the time to center ourselves and to proclaim together the sacredness of the day, and our commitment to this time away. When this is done, I introduce my guests to the flow of the day and I remind them to choose the activities that speak to them.

Next we do a group exercise that encourages us to connect with each other. One of my favorites is called wagon-wheel talking, in which the group rotates partners to spend three minutes sharing on each topic I give them. Another is to gather the women in small groups to tell the stories of the sentimental objects they have brought with them.

When we've had a chance to relax and feel comfortable with each other, it's time to move into the creative endeavor of the morning. We shouldn't underestimate the importance of creativity in our lives. It centers us, renews us and inspires us. Jan Phillips, author and photographer, tells us to "celebrate not only the joy of creating, but also the joy of being re-created ourselves" (xi). She says that "in our creating, we ourselves are created, added to, enlightened" (xii).

Our art-making could include anything from assembling quilt squares to creating mandalas, from collage, to paint, to sculpture. As we complete our creations, we place them around the room for others to see. We may even have another sharing time to discuss the fruits of the creative process.

Sharing the mid-day meal provides another opportunity for my guests to visit and relax. I like to keep it simple, especially if I am preparing it myself. It usually consists of salads or sandwich materials I've put together the day before, but sometimes I ask my guests to bring an offering to share. The most important thing about lunch is that no one has to do the dishes. I save them for the next day, or use recyclable paper goods.

When lunch is over it's time for siesta. This is an important time of the day. I have a tendency to over-schedule the afternoon. There are, after all, so many fun things to do. But my guests need to unwind and relax; to spend time renewing relationships or making new friends.

After a bit of quiet, we're ready for something a little more physical, perhaps a hike in the woods, a walk to the park, or yoga in the backyard. My greyhound, Calhoun, especially loves this last option. For those who would prefer less demanding pursuits, planting a geranium in a pretty pot, working on a jigsaw puzzle, writing, or drawing can be fun.

The day comes to an end in late afternoon, with a cup of tea and a slice of cake. At this time, I like to have my guests share a favorite poem or story. This is also a good time for a game of "dictionary" or "charades."