Attachment Parenting, Non-punitive Discipline, Homeschooling
I was shopping at a department store with my husband and our almost 22 month old daughter when she did something we just did not know how to react to. While we were shopping a little boy, who was at most 7 years old, walked by us with his father. He stopped to say hi to our daughter and waved at her. Isabel reacted by throwing a hard plastic ball at him. It ended up hitting him very hard him on the head. He started crying... I imagine it must have hurt. Our daughter didn't laugh, she looked very confused by the situation. What should we have done?
Dear Parent:
Your daughter is only 22 months old and it's very normal to throw things,
whether out of curiosity for what happens, or out of self-preservation at
being singled out by the boy's friendly gesture. Although its normal, it
does have to be addressed. Stay calm yourself, and calmly say to your
daughter, "We don't throw balls at people!" Then, go and comfort the hurt
boy. You could also model an apology to him by saying, "I'm so sorry for my
daughter's actions. We will talk to her later." That lets the boy and his
parents know that you will address the situation and it models how to make
amends to your daughter. Later, you could tell her that being hit by a ball
hurts very much and she shouldn't do it again. She is watching you! Don't
punish her. She will learn not to throw and hit and how to make amends by
repeated actions of your respectful behaviour.
Warmly,
Judy Arnall

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