How to Spend the Day with a Baby

How lucky your daughter is to have a mom so committed to her healthy development. I admire your intention to make the most of every moment with her.

My first piece of advice is that babies need the presence of their special adult, but it doesn't benefit them to have all of life revolve around them. Human babies are designed to develop by interacting with their loved ones and observing life. That means that what your little one most needs is to interact with you in a loving, warm, joyful way, and to observe as you go about the tasks of daily life.

A baby's intellectual development is built on the foundation of emotional security. That means your primary attention needs to be on enjoying her, engaging with her, responding to her, showing her the world, and reassuring her when she expresses concern about things. Studies show that infants who are most advanced intellectually and physically are generally the babies whose mothers are more attentive, responsive, and warmly engaging with them.

She definitely does not need you to focus on her intellectual development in the sense of counting, ABC's, or any conventional intellectual tasks. She will find great intellectual stimulation in games of hide 'n seek, in pulling all the pans out of your cupboard, and in seeing the world from the safety of a backpack or baby carrier as you grocery shop or interact with other people. Involve her and speak with her as you move through your daily tasks: folding laundry, washing dishes, cooking dinner.

Soon your daughter will be at the crawling stage, and she'll want to explore everything, and it's worth mentioning that babies who are told "No" a lot learn to think inside the box. If you want to give your daughter's intellect a boost, baby-proof well and supervise, but give her curiosity free reign to explore. It will mean a couple of months of restoring your books to the shelves every day, but she'll soon be past this stage and onto the next, having concluded that the world is well worth exploring and nothing need stop her.

Babies love changes of scenery. If she's tired of sitting in her seat mouthing her toys, take her for a walk. If she's squirmy in her sling, let her play on the floor for a bit, practicing turning over and hoisting herself up onto her hands and legs. If she's not happy being left to her own devices while you clean the bathroom, take a break and let her play with the water with you. Babies love to see how things work, which is second in fascination to them only to interactions with their parents.

Should you play brain development games with her? There's certainly no harm in it, but it doesn't have to be anything systematic. Sing to her, play pat-a-cake type games, massage her, play music of different kinds for her, dance with her. Make sure that she gets plenty of opportunities to see other babies and children.

If you run out of ideas, spend half an hour at the bookstore browsing the baby shelves. There are a lot of books out there that offer specific ideas for games that you probably don't need to own to be inspired by. I did notice recently that used copies of Julie Hagstrom's classic Games Toddlers Play was on sale online. While the book technically starts at 12 months, there are plenty of helpful ideas for babies, too, and it will get you thinking long-term.

Should you let her watch Baby Einstein videos? Experts warn against it. First, babies who watch these don't spend enough time interacting with actual humans so their language development is delayed. Second, watching screens changes brain development. We don't know enough yet, but it has definitely been associated with shorter concentration spans.

Making every moment count is an admirable idea, but you don't want to teach your baby that being productive is what matters most. Making every moment with your daughter high quality should not mean making every moment busy. Babies don't benefit from over-stimulation. They need plenty of interaction with us, but they also need plenty of time to play with their toes, listen to music, stare at the dust motes in a shaft of light, and just figure out how their own muscles work. They don't need us at those times to rush in and justify our own existence by teaching them anything or occupying them; they're already occupied. All babies need time to play in the security of our presence, but without our interference.

Your daughter is a lucky baby. Since you follow her lead, you will be able to attuned to what she expresses, and able to give her what she needs.  Enjoy her, and treasure this time with her.  That is probably what babies need most from us.