Innocent Mistakes

Dear Julia,

There are no perfect ways to grow up. It is perfect the way it is, with all the differences and imperfections. You are already meeting your baby’s needs optimally.  Striving is the best you can do while keeping yourself open and learning all the time. Humans are designed to be raised by humans. They can handle the fact that parents learn on the job and benefit from it. 

No matter how well you do, you are likely to label some of what you do along the parenting path as “mistakes.” There is not one parent on earth (including me of course) who doesn’t look back and finds things they would do differently if they got a second chance. 

Your strive for perfection may bring anxiety into your parenting. Therefore, I suggest that the most important thing for your baby is that you nurture self-love, self-forgiveness and inner peace. To be peaceful, let go of being a perfect mother and having an always happy baby/child. Instead, learn to love yourself as you are and know that whatever you do, you are doing your best. 

Make peace with the fact that you don’t get to rehearse life and that you will stumble sometimes in your parenting path. Know that your baby, whose needs are fully met, can handle it. Keep loving him and yourself. 

Read my book repeatedly to be reminded about making it safe for your son to express himself and to feel emotionally safe. Because, what children need is not a perfect life and perfect parents (not possible and not desirable), but the emotional strength to live with imperfections. Feeling loved and safe, your child will have the freedom to unleash stresses and the power to move on.

Keep in mind that a perfect, always happy childhood, does not prepare a child for life with humans, but with angels. Be human and your child’s humanity will flourish.

Warmly,   Naomi Alodrt  www.AuthenticParent.com