For Reals

By Ruth Bullock
Web Exclusive

I had a free afternoon but could find no one available to meet me for a cup of coffee. I was bemoaning my frustration when my daughter Kathryn spoke up. "Can I go for coffee with you, Mom?"

At age four she didn't drink coffee yet, and spending my free time being "Mom" wasn't really the idea behind going out for coffee. Usually, when I had a free moment, I enjoyed visiting with a friend or two over a mocha. We'd talk about our jobs, our church, our husbands, our children, our community. We'd laugh. We'd share our hurts and frustrations--not something I could really do with a four year old.

But when I saw my daughter's eager smile, I hesitated. My husband's eyebrows raised as if to say, "Well?" I resigned myself. It wouldn't be quite what I had in mind, but it might be okay. "All right, Kathryn. Let's go get a cup of coffee."

We went to the little coffee shop downtown and sat in the back corner, by the window. I ordered my usual double mocha, and Kathryn ordered a cup of hot chocolate and a scoop of sour jelly beans.

"So, Friend," she began, crossing her legs under the table, "how is your work going? Do you have any new clients?"

I wasn't sure what she had in mind but figured I'd play along. "Well, as a matter of fact, work is going well. I have several new clients. I am too busy. And I think we need to hire a new counselor at the office so that I can be home more."

"Oh, good. I'm sure your husband and children will like having you at home more often. You seem to work a lot," Kathryn observed.

"Yes, more than I'd like to," I admitted. "But hopefully soon I can cut back some."

"My job is going well, too," she stated proudly.

"What is it that you do, again?" I prodded.

"I'm a nurse at the hospital."

"That must be difficult work. I don't think I could do that."

"Yes. It is hard. On the weekends I work at the coffee place."

"Oh, you have two jobs? My!"

"Yes. My husband wants me to quit one of my jobs. He says I work too much. But I don't know which one to quit."

"Now, I don't remember. Do you have any children?" I asked.

"Yes, I have 13," she smiled confidently.

"Wow, 13 kids! What kind of car do you drive?"

"We have a school bus. That way all of our kids can ride with us," she explained.

"Well, with 13 kids at home, I suppose your husband does want you around more to help out," I said.

"Yes. But my kids are good kids. They do a lot of the work around the house because I'm so busy with my jobs. They miss me."

"You're lucky to have such good kids," I said. "I have good kids too. But mine are still pretty young. So they don't do a whole lot around the house yet. But I sure miss them when I have to be at work."

Kathryn put her head down for a moment and smiled. She'd slipped on a string of fake pearls from the dress-up box before we left the house, and now she twirled her necklace. She took another sip of her hot chocolate and asked me, "So, do you think you'd like to have more kids?"

"I think so," I said. "But our youngest is only a year old, so it's not something we're planning right now."

"Um hmm. Well, I think you should have more. Kids are nice to have around. And they help out so much."

"Yes, they do," I said. "I am still amazed that you have 13 kids and two jobs."

"Well, I think I'm going to quit my job as a nurse. It's not as fun as the job at the coffee place. How is your husband doing these days?" she asked, changing gears.

"Fine. He's busy working, too."