Does a Baby Need a Schedule

Baby

Naomi Aldort

I am always hearing about how important it is for baby's and children to have a predictable schedule each day, including the same naptime and mealtime. My 5 1/2 month old is still very unpredictable with her sleep schedule, napping throughout the day at various times and then a late bedtime followed by lots of night feeding. She is happy and healthy and I am learning to adjust to her needs, but worry that I could be doing more to implement some kind of regularity for her. Is it too early? Conflicting information on this, because I don't want to be too loose but I want to give her room to find her own patterns. I should also mention that her style of eating is grazing, so she eats a little at a time all day long and there is really no way I see to get her to nurse for a longer period of time unless she wants to. Should I be doing more?

Dear Parent,

Just because you hear a lot about a need for predictable schedule does not mean it is true. In a culture devoted to control, it makes sense that such a theory thrives, but is it really true? Why would we need to do anything to a baby or child that is not naturally occurring and flowing out of the child?

People’s need to control gives birth to many theories, from sleep training and pacifiers, to punishment and forced learning. As a culture we fear the unpredictable. Yet life is unpredictable and it is this nature of life that we must learn to love and flow with.

Keep trusting your baby and let go of all anxiety about providing predictability.

The world has its rhythms; sunrise, sunset, hunger, tiredness, the seasons, and the weather. We don’t need to add to it. Your loving intuition is right on. Without the concern about predictability, you would be free to trust your baby and enjoy every minute of it in peace.

Some babies form a rhythm and some don’t, some form structure for a while and then don’t. There is no one way other than the way of love and peace with the way of it.

For more on this issue, read my response to a similar question on this site:

http://www.mothering.com/parenting/daily-routine

Warmly, Naomi Aldort http://AuthenticParent.com