Sitting through Church

Ask the Experts

Naomi Aldort

Hi Naomi, attending church is an important part of my life each week and from day one I have opted to keep my daughter with me in the service rather than checking her into the nursery. The older she gets (she is now 20 months) the more difficult it has become to get through the service, in fact, we almost always leave halfway through. My husband is a pastor at our church and very busy on Sundays so I don't have the option to pass her off or take turns, and my daughter is still very attached to me and does not like to be left with anyone else other than papa. Do you have any suggestions to make it easier for my daughter, or encouragement for me to stick with my convictions? I'm sure you can imagine that I receive a lot of unwelcome advice, everyone seems to think I should let her cry in the nursery or let them 'help' me by passing my daughter off to someone she is not comfortable with. Another thing people say is that by leaving halfway through I am teaching her that if she makes noise or wants to leave her seat to play that's all she has to do in order to go have fun. I don't want her to see that church is not fun, but a meaningful part of our life. I feel that how I handle this is crucial but I just can't figure it out. Thanks for any advice you can offer~

Dear parent,

I am not sure you would like my answer either. It clearly differs from all these ideas about manipulating your child, but it may differ more than you want. I invite you to consider the possibility that staying with your child at home is more spiritually serving your convictions than going to church. I suggest you don’t go to church until your daughter can enjoy it and benefit from it authentically.

Remember, a church service is not what makes you a highly moral and loving person. To serve God in the optimal way, you must follow God’s direction which is now coming to you through your child. The church is here to help you stay connected to God. When real life provides an even better “church” I suggest you follow the path as it is given to you.

Any time you resist and struggle with reality, you go against God and against your conviction. Sitting in church is not the goal, only the tool to get to the deep connection with God. By struggling to go to church, in my observation, you are actually going against this connection. God is always right and he speaks to you through reality, through your child. Follow and be with your child. She is now your greatest connection, by far more than what any church can provide.

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Sitting through Church

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