Ask the Experts

My two month old baby goes from happy to hysterically upset in seconds.  This happens when I change her diaper, undress her, put her in her carseat, even put her down for a minute. 

I can understand your worry about too many transitions and the stress they might affect your daughter. However, if you are concerned about the quality of care of her present childcare situation, one more transition might be better for your peace of mind. In different jurisdictions, childcare ratios are in place in childcare settings to allow for the caregivers to meet the needs of age groups. For example, in our area, family dayhome childcare ratios are maximum six children (with only two of those under two-years-old) and this includes the provider’s own children. This reflects the government’s recognition that small toddlers need constant adult care because of their supervision needs, lack of cooperative play ability and intense need for emotional comforting. A daycare has many children and needs to run as an institution with strict schedules in order to be efficient and this does not always mean it’s a good fit for children with individual, unique needs. From an attachment perspective, a family dayhome is more like a home setting and usually the care provider will be a more permanent provider, compared to a daycare, which could have staff turnover every few weeks or months. This makes it difficult for your daughter to bond with her caregivers, something that is critical for emotional development and healthy adjustment. Don’t worry, the caregivers will never replace you! If you make the switch, give your daughter a lot of cuddle time with you after work and she will adjust better. Child-care can be some of the most daunting decisions in parenting. Whatever your decision, lots of special time and nurturing will help your daughter get through anything. Remember that we can’t prepare the path for the child, but we can prepare the child for the path.