Unweaning

Dear breastfeeding mother,

This is a sweet misunderstanding between you and your son. Children tend to go back and forth with their graduation schedules. My oldest, at age two, would stay with his favorite uncle for a couple of hours. By age three he went back to needing me with him at all times. I supported his process. I didn't think that just because he was able to be without me before, he must stick to this ability. It is not a contract. In fact, if we tie a child to his new stage of development and do not allow him to try and retreat, he will be afraid to grow and try new things.

In order to have the confidence to move on, a child must know that he can safely return to where he was before. Most likely, your son did not almost wean himself. And, if he did, well, he is not weaned anymore. Trust him. In fact, by nature, a two-year-old does not wean himself unless he uses the bottle, pacifier, or the mother is not present all hours of the day.

I can't know what he was going through, but children increase and decrease their breastfeeding over the years in response to their interests and the environment. They can go through a period of hardly nursing just because of being caught up in a new passion. Or, in your case, your son could be accommodating himself to the fact that you were working. As soon as you are back with him, he goes for what he really wants and needs. What a wise soul.

Your child is totally clear when he says that "he doesn't want it to fly away." He is guarding his treasure and declaring his intent. He needs to breastfeed. He didn't mean to wean himself. It is a misunderstanding. If I could translate his communication he would say, "Mom, I didn't mean to wean. I am still a baby. I still need to breastfeed. Don't take it away." He needs it emotionally and physically. Your child is your answer and you can count on him to keep guiding you clearly. Listen and enjoy going with him on his path.

Warmly, Naomi Aldort  www.AuthenticParent.com