Wasting Food

Dear mom in Michigan,

It is possible that your older child likes to create with his hands. His actions tells you what he needs. It is also possible that he loves to entertain his little sibling, which is delightful. Either way, get him lots of play dough, opportunities to play in mud, sand, with clay, finger coloring and other creative and free ways to shape, mash and throw stuff outdoors, in the sink or in an art room. His need to create and/or entertain his sibling can be met with less costly materials.

It is possible that you offer your child food when he is not hungry enough or you keep him at the table when he is done eating and bored. I suggest that you provide food when he is hungry so that he wants to eat it, and let him leave the table when he is done. As soon as your child starts throwing the food, you can remove it promptly saying, “I see that you are done eating.” You can then offer other materials to play with, or he can go play elsewhere.

Providing play material as distinct from real food will help your child know that you support his play, while learning what kind of food is for eating only. Once your son gets enough opportunity to create with material other than food, he may stop playing with food, on his own. If not, he will be sufficiently satisfied and able to respond to your clear guidance. It is important that in our attempt to provide freedom to our children, we don’t forget to lead the way. They need to be able to count on our leadership. Please watch my video “You are the leader” at http://naomialdort.com/lectures.html Another possibility is that your son is playing a power-game with you. You can learn how to play power games by reading about it in my book, Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves. Responding by playing power games can be very healing and freeing.

With care,
Naomi Aldort www.AuthenticParent.com