Weaning

Naomi Aldort

My son is 2 years old, and we've had a wonderful breastfeeding relationship, but I'm ready to stop nursing. However, he doesn't feel the same way. He pretty much nurses on demand when I'm home (I'm a working mom)and I haven't had a lot of success with delaying or distracting. Do you think it's better to stop cold turkey or gradual? Do you know of any weaning plan that works and honors the mother/child relationship at the same time? thanks so much, Michelle

Dear breastfeeding mother,

I do not know why you wish to wean your toddler at age two. Since you work, he misses it even more and would benefit from continuing breastfeeding. The fact that he is not ready is your best guide.

If you want to “honor the mother/child relationship,” then I suggest that you continue the beautiful and healthy breastfeeding relationship with your son. I also worry that your daily time away from him harms your attachment and allows you to feel comfortable with the idea of weaning. If you were with your child all day, I doubt you would feel this way.

Therefore, my first recommendation is to trust your child.

If you are absolutely sure that you must wean him, do so gradually over a few months to a year. Start by reading my instructions on night weaning:

http://www.mothering.com/night-weaning

After you have weaned your toddler from night nursing, wait for a while. Then increase food and keep your son busy and happy so you can simply reduce the number of feedings during the day. The next stage is to cut the nap time nursing (if you are at home) and then, after few more months, the morning nursing (which cannot take place in bed; see the link above.) The last one to go is the night breastfeeding. It can stay for as long as the child wants it.

You can also read my answer to another mother with a similar question:

http://www.mothering.com/weaning-child

Warmly, Naomi Aldort, www.AuthenticParent.com