Your Child's First Healer

Issue 152 - January/February 2009
by Peggy O'Mara, Editor and Publisher

Before your child is born, it's hard to imagine all of the roles you will play as a mother. The first time your baby is sick, for example, you don't know what to do, and you certainly don't consider yourself a healer. Even doctors who are mothers have told me that they feel this way. And yet it is your touch, your voice, and your companionship that will bring your child back to health again and again.

Your touch is what your baby wants most of all. Our children just want to be in our arms. While most infants don't get sick very often, they want to be held more when they do. Our children are also reassured by the sound of our voices. It is our words that tell them everything will be OK, that they can handle what is happening, that we will stand by them. I remember that when I was sick as a child, I just wanted to be near my mother.

When I was a young woman, I became fascinated with medicinal herbs and the fact that so much of modern medicine is based on plants. Because there weren't a lot of ready-made herbal products on the market at that time, I made some of my own, and have kept an herb garden since my children were born. They like simple herbal teas with honey or agave nectar. Spearmint tea is good for a stomachache, and chamomile tea to calm down after a busy day. In summer we put sprigs of peppermint in cold water in the fridge, and in winter we hang fresh wormwood in closets to keep moths away. A drop of peppermint oil can be applied to the forehead for headaches. Lavender essential oil can be put on the pillow of a child who is out of sorts, or a bouquet of lavender flowers placed in a sickroom.

Herbs are uncomplicated and easy to care for. A few, such as parsley, rosemary, and chives, can be easily grown indoors. Most are perennials—if you plant them outside, they'll come back every year. Herbs are inexpensive, too. Several years ago I planted a single peppermint plant that cost less than $3. It has since spread to cover nearly 25 square feet.

Edward Bach and, more recently, others have developed healing remedies based on flowers that are especially good for children, whose emotions change so dramatically. The Flower Remedies were devised to soothe discordant emotional states that are easily observed in children, and that can lead to illness.

One popular Bach Flower treatment, Rescue Remedy, is made up of five distinct remedies: Cherry Plum, Clematis, Impatiens, Rock Rose, and Star of Bethlehem. The indication for Cherry Plum is fear of the mind giving way. Dreaminess indicates Clematis, and Impatiens is, of course, indicated by impatience. Rock Rose is indicated for terror and fright, and Star of Bethlehem for shock. According to Bach, these five remedies, taken together, can help rescue our children and us from emotional and physical emergencies.

When our children were young, a friend and I used to joke that we each needed a hip flask of Elm, the Bach Flower Remedy for the feeling of being overwhelmed. And if we went on too long without Elm, we were afraid we'd need Oak, for those who struggle on to the point of exhaustion. When children are starting school, or afraid about an audition or any new situation, Aspen or Mimulus can help allay their fears. And Hornbeam is just right for the hesitations of Monday mornings.

It isn't necessary to buy expensive herbs or remedies—we can grow many of our own if we want to. But the first medicine is food. When I think my family is getting sick, I make a big pot of soup. Chicken soup is an old standby; my new favorite is miso. And when I feel a cold coming on, I use a lot of garlic in my cooking. Garlic has antibiotic and immunity-building properties and is great in Caesar salad, aioli, and garlic toast. Garlic broth is a mild and flavorful base for vegetarian or other soups.

In his book In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto (Penguin, 2008), Michael Pollan reminds us that food is more than the sum of its micronutrients. While we may be tempted to buy special vitamin C drinks, the real thing is closer to home, and much tastier. The usual citrus fruits are high in C, but higher still are rose hips, black currants, red peppers, and parsley. Black-currant tea can be used as an iced beverage to replace pop or fruit juice. Parsley and garlic can be added to vinaigrette for a tangy and immunity-boosting salad. And rose hips make wonderful jam.

When someone in our household is congested, I make a simple drink of hot water, lemon juice, and honey. (Adults can add whiskey or brandy.) Sipped slowly, there is nothing quite so soothing for a sore throat. Cold orange slices are invigorating to someone who is recovering from the flu. Here in New Mexico, red chile has a reputation for stopping colds.

Though food was my strongest healing ally when my children were young, I wanted to do more to soothe them. Most of their illnesses were minor and didn't require medicine or a doctor's visit—they just needed rest, fluids, and loving care. I used their colds, coughs, and fevers as opportunities to learn more about homeopathy and other modalities. A reference book helped me to match remedies to the minor symptoms I was seeing.

Homeopathy can be hard to understand at first because it requires a new way of seeing. We're accustomed to thinking of all colds as being the same, and of treating them all with the same medicine. But according to homeopathy, each illness presents specific symptoms—one has to learn to observe colors, sounds, and demeanors that may have previously gone unnoticed. Homeopathy improves one's powers of observation; in time, one learns that there are several distinct kinds of coughs, for example, and many shades of the same illness.

With a good book—I used Homeopathic Medicine at Home—you can learn how to use homeopathic remedies to relieve your children's minor symptoms. Because a homeopathic remedy does no harm even if you've misdiagnosed the symptoms, it's a safe way to learn. In a short period of time you will have a small repertory of remedies that you understand, and will probably find, as I did, that most of your children's illnesses will be covered by fewer than a dozen of the hundreds of remedies available.

We all know the signs some children show when an illness comes on dramatically: They're hot, with flushed cheeks and dilated pupils. These are the classic symptoms that indicate the homeopathic remedy Belladonna. Most moms know the remedy Chamomila because of its success with the restlessness of teething children. One of my favorites, Nux Vomica, is for overstimulation, a chronic condition in new families. If you frequently wake up between three and four in the morning, this is the remedy for you.

One of the most popular homeopathic combination remedies is the highly effective Oscillococcinum: Taken at the first signs of flu symptoms, it can ward off the illness. I've just found an effective combination remedy for restless legs, and my mother swears by Calms Forte for those times when she needs help getting to sleep.

Also helpful in the soothing of children's ailments are the related modalities of acupuncture and acupressure. You can practice a bit of acupressure yourself by giving your child a foot massage. If your child is suffering from something in particular—congestion, for example—you can consult a foot-reflexology chart (available at natural grocery stores), paying special attention to the area of the foot associated with the lungs. If there is no particular malady, and/or you don't have a chart, simply rhythmically massage the top and bottom of your child's foot and toes with a bit of olive oil. It will be relaxing for both of you, and it's a nice way to stay in literal touch with an older child.

When you use food as medicine in your home, or explore herbs, homeopathy, acupressure, or massage, you have more options at your disposal when your children are sick. This doesn't mean, of course, that you no longer need professionals. Emergencies happen, and when they do, it's good to have professional health consultants you can turn to—consultants who already know you and your family from regular checkups.

How do you pick your health consultants, and how do you know when you need them? Choose health consultants who have the professional experience and credentials that you require, and who are open?minded enough to entertain differences of opinion. It's not necessary that health consultants agree with you about everything, as long as you have mutual respect.

Your primary care practitioner may be a pediatrician, chiropractor, naturopath, acupuncturist, family-practice doctor, or nurse practitioner. Faced with significant health problems, you will be wise to get a couple of different opinions and to do your own research. You can see such professionals more as counselors helping you to make a choice than as managers telling you what to do. It's a sure thing that having your own experience of healing your child helps you better negotiate with professionals. In fact, doctors will say that if they want to know what's wrong with a child, they just have to ask the mother.

Sometimes, when you face a real medical emergency with your child, you want a professional to tell you what to do. But how do you decide when it's time for medical attention? Let your level of anxiety be your guide. You're wondering whether or not to call a medical professional because you have a certain amount of anxiety about your child's condition. If it just won't let you alone, seek help. If your child seems particularly uncomfortable and is dramatically different in demeanor, seek help. And seek help any time a baby younger than six months is sick.

Fever is not the best indicator of the seriousness of a condition. It is a healthy sign for a child's immune system to generate a strong fever. Look more to your child's behavior than to the number on the thermometer. The book Taking Care of Your Child includes descriptions and charts that can help you decide when to seek medical help and if something is an emergency. Be ready with your arsenal of soothers for minor illnesses and strengtheners from foods, but don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it.

Caring for our children's minor illnesses helps us to build confidence as parents, and spending time with them when they're sick helps us to build our relationships with them. And by being curious about healing and trusting in natural remedies, we teach our children how to heal themselves.

A few good books

Rosemary Gladstar's Family Herbal Guide to Living Life with Energy, Health, and Vitality
Rosemary Gladstar
(Storey Books, 2001)

The Complete Medicinal Herbal
Penelope Ody
(Dorling Kindersley, 1993)

Homeopathic Medicine at Home: Natural Remedies for Everyday Ailments and Minor Injuries
Maesimund B. Panos, MD, and Jane Heimlich
(Jeremy P. Tarcher, 1980)

Taking Care of Your Child: A Parent's Illustrated Guide to Complete Medical Care
Robert H. Pantell, MD, James F. Fries, MD, and Donald M. Vickery, MD
(Da Capo Press, 2005)

Smart Medicine for a Healthier Child: A Practical A-to-Z Reference to Natural and Conventional Treatments for Infants & Children.
Janet Zand, ND, LAc, Robert Rountree, MD, and Rachel Walton, MSN, CRNP
(Avery, 2003)