50 Moms Share 5 Words of Advice for New Parents

beautiful babyWe recently asked our Facebook community the question, “If you could share ONLY five words of advice (no more, no less) with a brand new parent, what would they be?” The response was overwhelming, with nearly 2500 parents offering their wisdom.

And considering we asked for only five words…we were so impressed! Much of the advice was encouraging–reminding parents that attachment parenting really is worth it and the days really do fly by and a messy house really is okay.

We also loved advice that recommended you put down the parenting books and start trusting your instincts. Reminders that the frustrating moments really do pass and the good memories live long in your hearts.

So much wisdom! We hope that you’ll take our 50 most popular snippets and keep them close to your hearts. Pull them out on the days when the dogs got the toddler’s oatmeal and what they didn’t get is splattered on your wall. Pull them out when you feel like you can’t go one more second as a breastfeeding mother (because it.is.hard, and we know it) and you need some encouragement.

Pull them out when your newborn just wants to be held. All the time. All day. All night. Everywhere you go. Pull them out to remember that’s what you’re there for right now and there’s nothing better in the whole world than being the one who can calm your child.

Pull them out when you find yourself scrolling through social media and wondering why you can’t be like that mama or the other mama or that other mama either. You were made to be the mama YOU are, and you’re awesome.

Pull them out when you’re panicking about whether or not you’ll be able to do it all. You can, Mama, and you WILL. And you’ll do so much more than you ever dreamed!

Pull them out when you’re exhausted and feel like sleep will never come as easily as it seems to for your partner (because whoever said they want to sleep like a baby is nuts. Babies sleep allll kinds of jacked up ways!). Sleep will come one day, we promise, and when it does, you’ll actually miss those sweet middle of the night snuggles.

Pull them out when the doctor tells you that you read too much. Be brave and have them prove you wrong. Mama’s instincts rarely are.

Pull them out when the school calls and tells you they need to talk to you. You’ve got that, Mama, you really do.

Pull them out when you’re disappointed it didn’t turn out how you thought it would. We’d bet that in just a few years, you’re going to look back and think you couldn’t have planned it any better if you tried.

Pull them out when you’re worried you’ll never get it right. None of us do. But we get it right for us and our families, and that’s what counts.

Pull them out when you feel like you don’t belong in this Mama club because someone does it better than you do. You belong. And again, let them do them and you do you. Your child calls YOU Mom for a reason. That’s all the club membership you need.

Pull them out when you’re worried you’re alone in how you feel. We’ve got at least 50 mamas here who will happily tell you that you’re not.

5 Words of Advice from 50 Parents

1. Stephanie W. — Days are long. Years short.

2. Lindsay L. — Trust yourself and your baby.

3. Kara A. — Keep breastfeeding- it’s worth it!

4. Mandy B. — Don’t listen to anyone else.

5. Christy M. — Trust your instincts. They’re right.

6. Heather S. — You can’t spoil a newborn.

7. Kristyn L. — Co-sleep and breastfeed on demand.

8. Joan H. — Baby does not need perfect.

9. Jessica D. — Say no to infant circumcision.

10. Jamie T. — Sleep when the baby sleeps.

11. Jess R. — Attachment parenting is worth it.

12. Julie J. — Don’t compare yourself to others.

13. Lissette G. — A messy house is okay.

14. Becky G. — Perfection is impossible and unnecessary.

15. Keri R. — Hold them while you can.

16. Michelle K. — Your instincts trump expert advice.

17. Amber J. — This too shall pass…quickly.

18. Lauren J. —  Intact, breastfeed, babywear, love, trust.

19. Allison W. — Don’t worry about the house.

20. Jennifer J. — Hold them when they cry.

21. Melissa F. — Never underestimate a child’s ability.

22. Cynthia W. — You were made for this.

23. Kate M. — Don’t panic, you got this.

24. Amber D. — You cannot spoil a baby.

25. Theresa C. —  Skin to skin solves everything.

26. Jan O. — Sleep well before you conceive.

27. Lynn S. — Listen to your little one.

28. Lori A. — Remember – EVERYTHING is a phase!

29. Jelena Z. — Mother yourself to mother them.

30. Jennifer S. — Learn to nurse lying down.

31. Darjee S. — Breastfeed even though it’s hard.

32. Ashli A. — Follow your heart…not advice.

33. Myriam G. — Greatest thing you’ll ever do.

34. Renay S. — Don’t sweat the small stuff.

35. Destinie A. — Please don’t judge other mothers.

36. Tara H. — Tomorrow they will be older.

37. Laurie H. — Ask for and accept help.

38. Bridget S. — Nap when the baby naps!

39. Shay P. — Babies always mirror your emotions.

40. Amy L. — Lower expectations, enjoy the now!

41. Agnieszka H. — Be very gentle with yourself.

42. Christine B. — Drink in every single drop!!!

43. Jenny K. — Nurse, co-sleep, sing, accept help.

44. Jamie M. — One day at a time.

45. Amber D. — Pumping output doesn’t indicate supply.

46. Denise T. — Don’t freak out over everything.

47. Jamie M. — You are an awesome mom (or dad).

48. Roxanne S. — You’re doing a great job!

49. Rachel C. — You are new now too.

50. Kirsten S. — Put down the parenting books.

What would your five words of advice be?

Image credit: Josh

82 thoughts on “50 Moms Share 5 Words of Advice for New Parents”

  1. Beautiful words……mine would be

    Bottlefeeding does not mean failure

    It makes me sad that even after ten years I still feel that I somehow failed my children because I couldn’t breastfeed successfully and lists like this,however lovely,make me feel worse.We all know that it is best for baby,can we just leave it at that.

    1. So true! You haven’t failed at all. I breast fed number one. Then number 2 needed soya milk so was bottle fed so I feel your pain. It’s great if you can but if a baby is fed that’s all that matters. No one wants a Miserable mummy

    2. Mummypupper: You need to forgive yourself. Our children have things handed to them, or not. As much as I value all the benefits of breastfeeding and it was a piece of cake for me, your body and my body are not the same and the birthing experience alone varies so widely between all of us mothers. No one should judge you, and you at least tried. So many factors play a vital role, and stress can be a huge factor in both being able to conceive, birth, etc., besides other factors. The only thing that we can do as parents is try to give our kids what we believe is healthy. All good parents go down the wish list of what we had hoped to do for our kids, and at the end of the day, that list is long. Hugs to you, and please be gentle with yourself.

    3. Hi! While we all know that mamas are ALL doing the best for their babies and situation, I think talking about how Breastfeeding g is ideal on a new mama list is totally legit, only because it might inspire someone who’s having trouble and thinking of quitting after a week/month.
      I’m sure it rubs salt in the wound if you feel guilt over not breast feeding, but I’m certain that the guilt is unfounded! Many many people weren’t breastfed and are healthy, smart, happy people! You did what you had to do, and so will every other mom.
      Also, the moms who have trouble with breast feeding but somehow find a way to extended nursing want to celebrate. Their experience is different from yours, not better, not worse.
      We moms need to stand together, not find so many ways to compare ourselves and feel less than or more than.

  2. Perspective is now forever changed.
    Cherish, bask and linger in moments.
    Breastfeeding: worth every single benefit!
    Stay hydrated and deep breathe.
    Love like you never have!

  3. You will realize (not always in the beginning) that you have fallen in love. You will be inspired by their beauty and the potential wonderful life you can help them to lead. It truly is the most wonderful experience to become a parent. All the worrying we do,nasty smells and sleepless nights we experience are really worth it!!

    1. Formula can be the answer, and it was for me. I was in the Intensive Care Unit after my birth, and I was on the verge of dying. I needed to have my family formula feed the baby. He certainly wasn’t going to drink my breast milk saturated with propofol and other heavy duty narcotics.

      1. Yes, yes, yes, it is so unfair that many are made feel guilty for not breastfeeding, sorry but sometimes it is not possible.

    2. Formula was the answer for us when we adopted our son at birth. Not everyone has the opportunity to breastfeed and no one should be made to feel that formula is the wrong choice, no matter what their reason.

    3. Can we stop with the mom-shaming already?! We all know breastfeeding is best, but some of us (myself included) are not able to solely breastfeed. We all do the best we can.

    4. Please stop with your hurtful and judgmental statement. You have no idea what other people are dealing with. For me – I had two home-water-births. I had my placentas encapsulated. My mother was born at home herself, and breastfed her children. Her mother breastfed and so on and so on. I had every expectation to breastfeed. However, three lactation consultants and two doctors later, consensus was that my breasts, while ample, simply did not have the “inner-workings” to produce milk. I pumped all hours of the day and night to produce only drops. I took Domperidone until I had a constant headache. Nothing worked. I tried, with both babies, until they were labeled “Failure to thrive.” I cried, and cried some more. I felt sick that I had to buy formula. But I did because my babies needed to eat. Period. So please keep your high and mighty, “Formula is not the answer” to yourself.

    5. I breast fed one and bottle fed one and both children are absolutely fine and loved equally! My 5 words: DON’T BE HARD ON YOURSELF!

      1. I breast fed the first one for 14 months. After three months of trying so hard to feed number 2 with incredible pain – – I was dx’d with breast cancer. Breast feeding came to a sudden stop the day I had to pour my milk into the parking lot at the hospital after having been radiated for a PT scan. She’s six: talented, strong, smart, charming and doing great. Just praying her mom sticks around for the big stuff.

    6. A better statement, though not 6 words, would be “Formula is not always the answer”. I’m guessing this statement was in response to the vast amount of misinformation and bad advice given whenever there’s any sort of rocky start, or doubt to the success of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is sabotaged far too often by people whose only advice is to give formula. It is not always the answer, though sometimes it can end up being the best one. That’s hard to say in 5 or 6 words.

  4. When my 1st was about a month old, a little old lady stopped my husband and I in the grocery store to admire our son. She gently touched my arm and looked me in the eye and said, “You may not realize this now, but these are the best years of your life.”

    Do my 5 words: These are the best years!

  5. Cosleep from day 1 – forget the crib
    Listen to your baby and he will tell you what he needs
    You will figure it out
    Have strong boundaries with relatives

  6. Forumla or breast … Food is best

    As a mom who couldn’t breastfeed for making to little for the first and way to much for the second (it was nonstop I was sore and a dripping faucet all hours of the day) u had to use forumla.

    Go his (her) speed don’t rush

    Let him crawl when he’s ready don’t rush so he is smarter and more advanced then other kids. Let him be him and do it at his speed. Trust me he will then he won’t stop!

  7. Night-wean by one year.

    I tortured myself with too little sleep until my daughter was two. It was maddening and I ended up stressed and angry for much of the day. I am fully pro-breastfeeding but we can over-do it was moms. Your toddler does not need to nurse at night. Throw out the sleep-training books. Just stop nursing them at night, offer some water, and give a hug. Suddenly, they will actually let you sleep most of the night.

    1. How about “night wean when you want to” rather than declaring some artificial time that, in hind sight, might have worked best for you?

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