It’s the busiest time of the year, and right before we reflect on how the new year can bring new things. Which means it’s a perfect time to take a minute or two and look at your relationship. Here are some ways you can maintain connection with your partner, no matter what time of year it is!
I know, I know…there are a million and eight things that need to be done, and you are on number four. You feel like all the obligations you have and all the things you want to do and all the limitations (even if they’re in the form of cherubic little faces that call, “Mama,” 108 times a day) prevent you and your partner connecting. You think, “It’s just a season,” and let the connection get further and further. It’s safe to say we all can get it–and understand how hard it can be to maintain connection with your partner.
So, read over just a few suggestions and see how some might fit in your life. Some might not, and that’s okay. But some may be just the little way you and your partner can connect, even for just a few minutes a day, to maintain slivers of intimacy on a consistent basis.
1. Send a text or make a call.
Yes, we know. Technology can sometimes be the bane of our existence, but the truth is, if we used it for good, it could make such a difference! You most likely have your phone near anyway, so use it to randomly send a funny little joke or something mushy that simply says, “I am thinking about you.” Sometimes, on our busiest days, my husband and I have some really important conversations in texts and once I got over the ‘it’s so cold,’ factor, I realized that we stay a lot more connected through the day than we had been.
2. Write a note.
And if you don’t like that new-fangled technology that’s out there, go old-school, like you do for your kiddos’ lunch boxes. Send a note–a sticky on the bathroom mirror, a note on the steering wheel for when he/she gets in the car. Heck, take it back Notebook style and write letters telling things you’ve had on your mind and your heart. If you want, let your partner know that you’d really value a response and see how giddy old-school ‘mail’ can make you feel toward each other!
3. Exercise together.
I laugh at this because I.do.not.exercise. I’m talking about not moving fast unless zombies are chasing me. My husband? A runner. Seems like we’d not match, right? Normally, we wouldn’t, but knowing that spending time together is important, we compromise and walk together. Our son rides his bike, the dogs get exercise too and since our son is on a bike and faster than we are, it really is an opportunity to have closer conversation alone.
4. Do Date Night In
Sometimes, as important as date night is, it’s just…near impossible. Or so you think. You may have a hard time finding a sitter, but we bet you could more easily find a ‘mother’s helper.’ Mothers’ helpers can come and tend to the kiddos in your house while you and your honey are having some quite time together. Watch a movie, make and eat dinner together…heck, do the bills or clean the bathrooms–just spend the time together knowing you won’t have someone calling, “Mama!” every three seconds. And, if you’re reading this thinking, “If my kids know I am home, I will!” then just leave the house as if you were leaving with the sitter in charge and sneak back in. While you’re at it, sneak up to the bedroom for some real connection! This may not be the best option for connection, but we know beggars can’t be choosers sometimes, so don’t rule date-night-in out!
5. Keep a gratitude journal.
We know these are great things for our kids–journals where we document with them the things we are most grateful for. Well, guess what? Doing the same with your partner can be a big intimacy creator as well! Keep a journal that you write back and forth in–but only things for which you are thankful–things they may think get overlooked. For instance, in my journal once, I wrote that I was thankful my husband put the seat back after he used my car. I should note that if I was really honest? I was being sarcastic about that because he had done it for the first time in FORever and I was being a bit snarky that day. You know what it got me though? He puts the seat back every.single.time now because he read that I appreciated it. There’s something about reading written words, so give gratitude in print a try!