My son has a major family history of bipolar disorder and has been showing signs of it himself for years. Without going into the past, here is what is going on right now. btw, 2 docs and a social worker think he is bp.
He has temper tantrums (he is 11) and destroys his own things, or hits himself. He has remorse afterwards, but can't control himself at the time. He can be articulate about his feelings when he is not in the middle of them, but only to me
. He says that he gets so angry that he doesn't know what he will do, he tells me that he will destroy his own things (expensive things, like PS1's and rare comic books that he collects) He asks me what to do when he is angry, I don't know what to tell him except to hit a pillow, go in his room and scream into a pillow, put music on and draw to help change his mood...he counters everything I say.
He has started hitting his little sister, and kicking the cat, he even told me that he was afraid he would kill the cat one day because he can't help himself when he gets angry
(major red flag
He won't talk to a therapist, only to me. He won't take meds because he can't swallow pills. He had a fish oil cap dissolve in his mouth once and can't do it ever since.
I'm calling a psychiatrist today after I finish this post, I feel it is an emergency.
He tells me that he feels like he doesn't fit in with the other kids at school, he is tired of being different. He makes average grades and the other kids make a and b grades. He tells me that he doesn't want to do the work, and doesn't do it. I can't force him to actually do his homework, he can (and does) write anything so it looks like he has done it...he says that he is different bc he doesn't care as much as the other students, he then goes on to say that his life has no meaning and he wishes he was in a car accident and was dead bcause of it
He has threatened suicide more that a few times.
I need to keep DD and the cat safe, I've almost called his doctor to have him hospitalized during those times. Life is so horrible when he hangs his little dark cloud over the family. I know he needs help, but the whole family is being affected by his illness. I feel horrible saying that
bc I know he can't help it, but I am definately not the parent I want to be with him. GD doesn't work, punishment definately doesn't work. I am at my wit's end (I am also a single mother)
I am getting counseling and DD is seeing a play therapist. Like I said, I'm calling to get him in to see his doctor again.
I don't know why I am posting, I feel so alone in this. I don't know anyone else IRL that has this issue. No one seems to understand how bad it is...the only things that lets people know how serious it is is the fact that he is hurting the cat and his sister (mostly the cat)
I find myself afraid of him, I don't want to give him any ideas by even approaching him at times (ex/ giving him the idea to hurt his sister in her sleep by checking on her) This is really messed up
Does anyone else go through this with a bipolar child?