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-   -   Expecting Triplets, freaking out (https://www.mothering.com/forum/158-parenting-multiples/1088590-expecting-triplets-freaking-out.html)

Barefoot Farmer 05-22-2009 10:35 PM

The title says it all. I'm almost 9 weeks. I read Barbara Luke's book last night. Between the pregnancy and the first year I jumped back and forth about which to be more anxious about. Luke's book made me feel a bit more confident about how this pregnancy can and may pan out. Now, I'm freaking out about the first few months, and sleeping, and eating. Main question: Can I cosleep with triplets? We have an older DD (5) that cosleeping was a must for sleep and sanity. I just don't know how to do it any other way. I am figuring in my head, two w/ me, one w/ DH and a way we go, switching as needed, etc. Is this too idealistic?

Intertwined 05-22-2009 11:11 PM



I don't know. I haven't had triplets, just twins. We managed adhere to what we wanted on most things. They cried more than I would like and there were days I was completely touched out. But we managed. I know there are some amazing moms of trips on here who can give you more advice. CONGRATS!

mama_tigress 05-23-2009 04:23 AM



I wish I had some great advice. I know that I was freaked out at the thought of having twins, much less triplets. And it is hard, but it will work out.
Congratulations! I hope you have an uneventful and long pregnancy.

mamaeliz 05-23-2009 01:13 PM

Big hug, deep breath! I know it's all so much to take in, isn't it? I felt like my whole pregnancy (after finding out we were having twins) was all about endless information gathering and preparing for the time after their entrance.
There are a few triplet mamas here who will tell you better than I can, but I think that co-sleeping IS possible, as I would often give a baby to DH, and have both at other times. We put a twin next to our queen bed for more room, which helped when DD1 wanted to sleep w/ us as well. I had complete trust in DH being safe w/a baby, and you could also put one of those in the bed little co-sleeper things, which have edges in case you thought he might roll and not know it.
My DD1 HAD to be slept with, and I found that with the twins, it was mostly me just wanting that sweet time with them. I do think that they could have slept in a co-sleeper and maybe a crib, but I'll never know!
Some of the best things I did to prepare were things like getting a freezer and filling it w/food (a freezer party is great), and stocking up on toilet paper, dry goods, canned goods, frozen food, birthday presents and cards, especially little things DD1 could bring a friend for a b/day. She now believes that when it's someone's b/day, you just go look in the closet for a present.
Having two babies has been challenging many times, but also has been a heightened sense of being soooooo loved and my arms full of my heart.
I hope that you may find moments of joy in this pregnancy, interwoven with trust and faith, alongside the fear and incredulity. Blessings to you and your family!
Welcome!

ChaoticMum 05-23-2009 01:46 PM

I'm on the twin road myself, but my best friend has almost 4yr old triplets and she carried them to 35wks - healthy babes that were all home within 8 days! It can be done!

Not sure on the co-sleeping - hers were in cribs, but she pumped milk for a year for them and they are happy healthy babes now!

GOOD LUCK AND CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!

Novella 05-23-2009 11:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Barefoot Farmer View Post
I read Barbara Luke's book last night.
Wow. . . the whole book in one night?! I was in "deadly sleep" in those weeks of pregnancy (twin or singleton).

Seriously, will be thinking kind thoughts of you. No, I don't think co-sleeping trips is idealistic (but what do I know). Co-sleeping with twins was not really THAT different than singletons once they were past the first 6 weeks.

christyc 05-24-2009 03:27 AM

Barbara Luke's book is great on nutrition and exercise! For more parenting and other stuff, Having Twins and More by Elizabeth Noble is my favorite. There is some extremely woo-woo stuff in there that I'm not quite down with, but overall it has the best info I've found about things like diapering, cosleeping, etc.

DiannaK 05-24-2009 05:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by christyc View Post
Barbara Luke's book is great on nutrition and exercise! For more parenting and other stuff, Having Twins and More by Elizabeth Noble is my favorite. There is some extremely woo-woo stuff in there that I'm not quite down with, but overall it has the best info I've found about things like diapering, cosleeping, etc.
what is this?? Woo-woo??

DiannaK 05-24-2009 05:56 AM

I have no sound advice, except for WOW! Eat plenty of protein, get plenty of rest, and keep coming here!

hergrace 05-24-2009 12:39 PM

Congrats.

Life with triplets is busy, but you'll get through.

My biggest advice to do with with planning is to be prepared for plans to change, and take good care of yourself now. Be idealistic now. Plan for things to work out the way you want, and then be willing to be realistic if things don't happen the way you dream. But, if you panic now and don't let yourself envision your ideal situation, you may find you compromise in ways you didn't need to.

As to your specific question, I can imagine co-sleeping being possible, but we didn't do it. You will need to have your DH completely on board for it to work. A lot will depend on how well the little ones sleep and whether you can move them while asleep without waking them. And, you won't learn that until they are here.

venustx 05-24-2009 10:38 PM

We don't have enough room in the bed to cosleep with our triplets, though I have napped alone with them a few times.

For the first few months, they all shared a crib that was attached to my side of the bed. We didn't do the sidecar, with the side off, but our bed is high off the floor and with the drop side down, I could reach over to them easily.

christyc 05-25-2009 03:22 AM

Sorry, Dianna! By "woo-woo" I meant a little more hardcore new-agey than I am, personally. Like imagine someone waving hands magically in the air while mystically "woo" ing.

I still loved reading it, and found the "woo-woo" parts to be very interesting, but not sure if I bought everything she presented in the book as 100% truth. The birth facts, nutrition, and practical stuff-- loved it!!

mimid 05-26-2009 01:08 AM

First of all, congratulations! I can't imagine anything more fun that raising triplets. As for co-sleeping, yes it can be done. We've always done some sort of blended co-sleeping depending on what everyone's needs were. Dh and I are religous Jews so there are times when we sleep apart including roughly 6 weeks post-birth. In the beginning all three were in a pack-n-play next to my bed and as they woke I would feed and change them and bring them to bed. If it was a particularly rough night, we would rotate them through my bed and dh's bed. As they got older they moved to a crib and slept together until 11 months when dd3 made it clear she wanted to sleep alone. Again, as everyone woke they would come to bed with us. Around 2 years we moved dd1 into our bed permanently and had dds 2 and 3 in their own beds. At 2.5 years we got rid of the cribs and brought a queen mattress to our room for the three of them and they just climb into our bed when they want. We have a Cal King and a giant bedroom.

My other advice, other than specific product recs, would be to make sure your OB is on the same page as you as far as birth, find a LC who has experience with HOMs, figure out post-partum help and see what your budget will allow for hired help and finally plan, plan, plan and plan some more. I'm a list maker so I made lists of stuff we would need and tried to have a 6 month supply of personal and household stuff on-hand as well as a lot of food in the freezer. Those first couple months and the last couple of the pregnancy are hectic especially if you are stuck with any sort of bedrest or NICU stay. Not having to buy TP or dish soap is a nice thing.

One big thing to remember (and that took me a long time to learn to accept) is that you can be AP with them but there are often times when one will spend more time than ideal in the swing, crying or in a baby bucket while you deal with the other two and your older ds not to mention taking care of yourself. It is hard not to beat yourself up about what you're doing that is less than ideal with a singleton, but HOMs are a whole different ball game.

Fell free to IM me if you want to chat.

Intertwined 05-26-2009 02:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mimid View Post
One big thing to remember (and that took me a long time to learn to accept) is that you can be AP with them but there are often times when one will spend more time than ideal in the swing, crying or in a baby bucket while you deal with the other two and your older ds not to mention taking care of yourself. It is hard not to beat yourself up about what you're doing that is less than ideal with a singleton, but HOMs are a whole different ball game.
This. Totally. I have twins and a singleton 17 months older who is very high needs. Someone was always crying it felt like! I often am bouncing back and forth between crying children and sometimes holding three crying at once (and ready to run screaming myself ). Now that my twins are getting ready to start running I think I might get just the slightest glimpse what it is to have toddler triplets. (just kidding you guys, don't beat me! )

Barefoot Farmer 06-06-2009 06:07 PM

thank you all for your responses. I'm now almost 11 weeks and while still freaking out, starting to get into the "organize" stage of it all. As my questions arise, I will certainly post and PM mamas for help. TIA.


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