I'm devastated! 2yo won't nurse anymore! - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 8 Old 06-06-2009, 03:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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(x-posted in Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy)

My 26 month old twins were happily nursing along until last Tuesday, when one of the boys developed a virus that included sores in his mouth. It was so painful for him that he refused to eat or nurse. He is eating and drinking now, but still refuses to nurse. I offer frequently, but he refuses and says no, or "icky". He won't even drink breastmilk from a cup.

I am so devastated by this abrupt nursing strike. I'm just praying that he will try to nurse again.... He seems so determined not to nurse, but he is majorly sleep deprived because he can't fall asleep without nursing. He has given up napping, and we have to drive him around at night to get him to sleep. He just seems miserable. He will lay down with me when I'm nursing his brother and he likes the skin-to-skin contact, but he doesn't even try to latch on.

Anyway, just feeling really sad that my baby is not needing me in that way anymore. My older kids weaned so gradually, it was so natural. How have you all handled it when one of your multiples weans before the other? Did the nursing LO go on to nurse awhile or wean early too? This is just really hard.
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#2 of 8 Old 06-06-2009, 10:37 AM
 
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One of mine is slowing way down (3 x total in 2 days), nursing for very short periods of time but mostly just playing. DD, on the other hand is still wild for mama milk. It is sad, bittersweet, and not how or when I imagined weaning from the breast would be.

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#3 of 8 Old 06-06-2009, 05:04 PM
 
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All of my kids got this kind of virus and they all went back to nursing after they healed up. But yours might not. Try not to make a big deal out of it.

It is sad, but you have given him a wonderful start in life! Just keep giving him lots of love and work on figuring out a new bedtime routine. We find that reading until they fall asleep helps (and sometimes letting them watch a boring movie until they fall asleep, when we are desperate).

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#4 of 8 Old 06-07-2009, 07:23 AM
 
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i would try napping with him (you topless) so he can snuggle up skin to skin with you and you can try to let go of the need to nurse and simply enjoy snuggles.....
you might find he goes back to nurse again in a few days/weeks/months, or he might not, but plenty of cuddles will make either scenario easier on you both.

i had a dd wean at 19 months and go back to the breast after 8 months.
with my fourth she would go days/ weeks in between nursing towards the end.....enjoy nursing your other baby too and be proud of your boy for setting his own limits

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#5 of 8 Old 06-07-2009, 07:26 AM
 
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sorry, just re read that he's not napping.....

you could try some journey work with him - look up 'The Journey for Kids'

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#6 of 8 Old 06-07-2009, 12:20 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shukr View Post
i would try napping with him (you topless) so he can snuggle up skin to skin with you and you can try to let go of the need to nurse and simply enjoy snuggles.....
you might find he goes back to nurse again in a few days/weeks/months, or he might not, but plenty of cuddles will make either scenario easier on you both.

i had a dd wean at 19 months and go back to the breast after 8 months.
with my fourth she would go days/ weeks in between nursing towards the end.....enjoy nursing your other baby too and be proud of your boy for setting his own limits
I like that! This is child-led weaning, y'know? It hurts us mamas, but if they decide no more mama's milk, what can we do? Congrats on a great job nursing- no matter is he weans now or comes back.

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#7 of 8 Old 06-07-2009, 01:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the ideas Mamas!! Shukr- i have tried laying next to him topless. He will snuggle in and he loves to put his hand in my armpit- but WILL NOT nurse. I've even tried at night time when he's half asleep thinking he would just latch on.

yogafeet- I hear what you're saying about this being child-led weaning, although in my heart it doesn't really seem that it was his choice to wean at this time. He seems really sad and conflicted about the whole thing. Now that he's not nursing he is super clingy and needing me constantly to give him reassurance. Having three older kiddos that weaned very gradually makes me realize that this is not the typical, ideal, child-led weaning scenario. But then again, this is child rearing- it's one big roller coaster ride, and nothing ever happens as expected, right?!?
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#8 of 8 Old 06-07-2009, 03:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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One other thing that I think I neglected to mention... before my little guy got sick he was nursing on and off constantly all day long. So he went from pretty much constant nursing to nothing. That is just such a huge change!!
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