Marriage without sex and sex outside of marriage - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 8 Old 06-07-2020, 03:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Marriage without sex and sex outside of marriage

Hi, I've been married for the last 15 years. Just a few months after our marriage, my husband lost his privacy for sex. I was the one who always initiated sex, I tried to make him relax, comfortable, but he never had that enthusiasm for sex. Sometimes, if he used to have sex, it was like his duty, usually no more than 12 minutes, without any discussions or intimate discussions. This has been going on for the last 15 years. Due to sex problems, I never conceived naturally and now I have a child through IVF. Although I have now tried to focus on my child and his upbringing, there is still a feeling of emptiness and rejection that has affected my mind. I tried my best to tell him that and I even tried to take him to the marriage counselor, but he never comes and makes an effort. Although he does not want to dissolve the marriage, our marriage is a sexless marriage. Recently I met a guy who is also married and sparks flew among us. Although we have kept things very simple in our relationship, we often have passionate sex. Now my question is whether it is right if your husband is not ready to support you in sex or even try to understand my feelings. I am very clear that I am not able to leave my family and my child needs the life and attention of both mother and father. I never asked and I was not possessive of my boyfriend and I respect that he has a family. However, I do not feel guilty or ashamed of my action. Please advise
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#2 of 8 Old 06-07-2020, 04:21 AM
 
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Hello, I feel like there may be a deeper reason as to why your husband isn’t intimate or passionate. I’ve always heard that if he’s not getting it from you, he’s getting it somewhere else. Men need sex, not often, but they need it. They thrive off it. And the fact that he still wants to be together, comes off that he doesnt want to lose you but he may want to see other people. Sit down and talk to him, you never know what the outcome may be. Good luck and blessings
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#3 of 8 Old 06-14-2020, 01:05 PM
 
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I think marriage without sex doesn't make any sense. All the same, in the end, someone of you'll want intimacy and this will entail treason
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#4 of 8 Old 07-31-2020, 06:53 AM
 
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It was the reason of my divorce. I don't regret it, it's better to realize your mistake while you can fix the whole situation. I check on dating sites and feel young again This casual date site is pretty good.
What do you think about dating sites, btw?
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#5 of 8 Old 09-22-2020, 12:13 PM
 
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Hello! I can see that your situation is quite delicate. I can't say that I blame you because I was in the same situation with my wife. When we had sex it was like she felt she had a duty to fulfill and it had become a complete turn off for me. On a night out with my friends we went to Gatlinburg Strippers - a night club where I made acquaintance with a very nice girl whom i sleep with every once in a while. When I saw that our relationship was becoming close I made sure to end things between me and my wife.
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#6 of 8 Old 09-25-2020, 06:01 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BernatMay View Post
Hello! I can see that your situation is quite delicate. I can't say that I blame you because I was in the same situation with my wife. When we had sex it was like she felt she had a duty to fulfill and it had become a complete turn off for me. On a night out with my friends we went to Gatlinburg Strippers - a night club where I made acquaintance with a very nice girl whom i sleep with every once in a while. When I saw that our relationship was becoming close I made sure to end things between me and my wife.
I had an almost similar situation but it had ended not as well as yours
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#7 of 8 Old 10-27-2020, 06:55 AM
 
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I and my partner prefer to be a friends with benefits after marriage.
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#8 of 8 Old 10-28-2020, 11:02 AM
 
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Originally Posted by kimilimes View Post
I and my partner prefer to be a friends with benefits after marriage. He recommends read https://www.happymatches.com/blog/fr...nefits/fwb-app
Seems an interesting suggestion.
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