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#1 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 05:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Tonight we decided to take a late night run to Atlantic City. DS (age 3) had slept all day and DD (age 7) had beggd to go. So went down (less than an hour drive) and took the kids to the Rainforest Cafe. We walked them around (ok I am still on crutches so was wheeled around fora short time!!) and had a decent time. Before we left Itold DH to go ahead and play soem slot-he said he felt lucky. (HE is not a gambler and not big into AC nor did he have muc hto spend). Anyway, nno thinking that I needed to sit due to crutches and the fact it was LATE-I told DH to meet me right at the casino door. WHAT A BIG MISTAKE! Being we had no cells t ocall each other I had no choice but to stay put. I was in pain, DD sat against the wall and fell asleep! This kid normally would be wide awake at this time! DS was asleep in the stroller, odd being he slept all day (he is getting molars) DH was maybe 15 minutes TOTAL but people were so nasty! I sware I look even younger on my crutches so I am not sure if people thought I was the Mom or a sitter by some comments(my kids don't look like me at all btw). The comments I heard! "Why the hell would you have kids out now (just 11pm on a Saturday night-not that late in a vacation town-there were other kids passing by). "Oh how can people be so selfish!" One lady offered me her hotel room for DD to sleep! I was not in the mood to retaliate although I did say to 2 people "Excuse me, I am waiting to meet up with my husband here...not gambling!"

So I looked like some hard on her luck loser draging kids around to gamble while we had spent the night taking them to see cool stuff. Then I look bad b/c I pick a BAD spot to meet up with DH. I was actually embarrassed. Yet if I had waited just around the hallway and up a little we woulda been in seats by the hotel doors and looked normal-probably no comments. ARGH!

So once again, a reminder DO NOT ASSUME!
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#2 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 05:27 AM
 
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#3 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 05:34 AM
 
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I feel for you. But it is nice that at least one person who believed they saw a problem actually offered you help.
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#4 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 05:41 AM
 
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Ughh, that sounds like it was really unpleasant I too have had the comments about how selfish I must be to have my kids out at night. People sometimes can't (or maybe won't) understand that not every family operates on the same schedule, and that some kids have no problem being up late.

Glad you and the family got out and tried to have some fun...sorry it ended up not being so much. Next time will be better!

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#5 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 07:40 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa
Ughh, that sounds like it was really unpleasant I too have had the comments about how selfish I must be to have my kids out at night.
My mom was all about this too! How many times have I heard, "When my children were little, they were always in bed by 6 o'clock." She thinks it's horrible that parents would let their children out of the house past 7. Now smoking around us and not breastfeeding us for more a couple weeks--not selfish at all--but keeping us up past 6? Well, you should have your head examined! :LOL

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#6 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 07:50 AM
 
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Ugh, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I have to admit, I always wonder when I see people out past 10 or so with little bitty kids, but I just keep my mouth shut, because heck, how am I supposed to know their family's schedule? Kind of nice of the lady to offer some actual help though, even though her perception of the situation was off.
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#7 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 07:58 AM
 
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So, was your DH lucky as he felt?

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#8 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 08:01 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by myjulybabes
I have to admit, I always wonder when I see people out past 10 or so with little bitty kids, but I just keep my mouth shut, because heck, how am I supposed to know their family's schedule?
Me too. It doesn't happen too often since my butt is in bed by 8pm, usually.

Sorry you had to deal with that, and thanks for the reminder to not judge quickly.
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#9 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 11:07 AM
 
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Originally Posted by applejuice
So, was your DH lucky as he felt?

hehe ... thats what i want to know ...

lol SO????
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#10 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 11:19 AM
 
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I will try to remember...my older son used to stay up until 10:00 or 11:00, cuz we both slept in late. Nightowls. Now we all have to get up at 6:00 a.m. and it stinks. Both boys go to bed early...and I try to, too. Maybe if you had been wearing Rainforest t-shirts or had a camera around your neck, people would have been less snarky. Tourists...not a gambling mama dragging her dc's out at all hours. :LOL


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#11 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 11:56 AM
 
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my older son used to stay up until 10:00 or 11:00, cuz we both slept in late. Nightowls.
: That's NOT nightowls! My ds is currently on a sleep schedule where he FINALLY will go down between 3-5 AM and he sleeps until 2-4 PM He is a REAL nightowl. I have been trying and trying to break it and can't (I can't make him sleep! I actually tried holding him down in the bed a little after midnight last night/ this morning-I am desperate- but it didn't work and I felt terrible. He finally went to sleep at 4:45 AM). So I am staying up and will wake him up pretty soon at like 9 or 10 am....hopefully I can stay awake until dark and then maybe he will go down then too.... : for me that will break the cycle!!!! I want to wake up in the mornings and go to bed at night!!!!!
(Sorry, OP, not trying to hijack your thread! Are you gonna tell us if your dh won or not?)
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#12 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 12:17 PM
 
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Ohmygoddess bebesho2, that story is hilarious!!! I'm cracking up over here.

You on crutches, kids asleep against the wall, waiting right at the front door of the casino... "uh this isn't what it looks like." : Hysterical.

I have gotten some crappy comments for taking my kid just to the local pub and letting her sleep in her stroller while we hang out. But the casino - that's great.

Strangers suck and they should shut up. I once said to someone who beeyotched me out about dd not having a hat: "You know what lady? When you see a mother you should say 'you're doing a great job. How can I help?'"

Stole that from my best friend - it is now my mantra.

Oh well at least you know you are still a fascinating and original person if people are venting anger at you about your parenting.
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#13 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 02:46 PM
 
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I would seriously never assume anything about you in that situation, but then, we're also nightowls. My DS (2.5) goes to bed every night around 1 and gets up - well, it's 11:45 and he's still asleep. He'll be up very soon though.

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#14 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 04:48 PM
 
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Sorry you had some bad remarks like that.

I know that I do sometimes think that kids should be in bed by a certain time but like someone said, who am i to judge??

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#15 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 04:52 PM
 
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I wouldn't think twice. I routinely have Sophie in restaurants and the grocery store well after 10. She stays up until 12-1am. I have had comments but they can take a flying leap. I didn't realize that the grocery store suddenly becomes a no no to take kids after 8pm. I mean seriously do they bring out the naked dancers at night? nope. Just more people buying beer than at 1pm on Monday.
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#16 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 05:45 PM
 
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I used to work at night in a restaurant. I did my grocery shopping at 11 pm, of course, me and all the other uniformed dead-tired shift workers. I'd see kids up at that time of night all the time. It makes no sense to have a baby on a day schedule when his/her parents work nights. That's always my first assumption when I see a kid out late. You won't get gruff from me.

I do feel sorry for the kids are on a night schedule because of their parents, but the kids are expected to get up and go to school in the morning. That's just not fair. They should homeschool or find a night school, or something.

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#17 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 05:47 PM
 
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Oh sorry they judged you, but it was nice someone offered to help. I am sure you guys looked normal!

Quote:
Originally Posted by myjulybabes
I have to admit, I always wonder when I see people out past 10 or so with little bitty kids, but I just keep my mouth shut, because heck, how am I supposed to know their family's schedule? .
Well, when I am out past 10 with my 2 year old son, which is often, I am coming home from someone's house, out to pick up something from the store, talking a walk to relax before bed. I have been in Times Square late night because my son wanted to go see the lights. I do not really have any other place to be :LOL I live alone and have small apartment.

We are late nights I guess, you would see me out past 10 a lot.

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#18 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 07:45 PM
 
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I used to go to a local diner with my kids when they were really little like both under 4... at like 11 pm to 1 am or something. I'd meet up with some friends there and we'd have coffee and and fries with ranch dressing My Ds would color or play with ice on his plate, and my wee Dd would be happily slinging and nursing and charming everyone with her baby sounds. After awhile of doing that we became "regulars" but we sure did get some nasty stares and comments from time to time.

I also got stopped once by a cop when I was 16 for being out past curfew. I was with an 18 year old friend and we were walking together with my Ds to get him to settle down through some teething pain. The cop refused to believe the baby was mine because a "real mom wouldn't have her kid out that late". He changed his mind after he asked for my mom's phone number and got my husband on the line instead Sorry I think I am hijacking this.... off now.

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#19 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 08:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Was my Dh lucky? Yeah-we made dinner back plus some...he only had a few minutes and he insisted if he had more we woulda had the months bills...lol

Thanks for the support. I never think about seeing kids out late (I normally work third shift) but casinos are known to have rogue children. People leave them in hallways, hotel rooms, etc. while they gamble. Also alot of people lose their cash and beg. So they are at doors of places (ofte nin wheelchairs and on crutches ) begging.

Just another day...I gotta find a photo too show you how young I looked in my red hat, crutches and hot pink cast...
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#20 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 08:24 PM
 
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When I had my newborn at the mall at 8 pm I got the same comments. Whatever.

And I'm a nightowl too. If you put the babies to bed at six at night, good gracious, what time do they wake up then?? 4 am??
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#21 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 09:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamamillie
: That's NOT nightowls! My ds is currently on a sleep schedule where he FINALLY will go down between 3-5 AM and he sleeps until 2-4 PM He is a REAL nightowl. I have been trying and trying to break it and can't (I can't make him sleep! I actually tried holding him down in the bed a little after midnight last night/ this morning-I am desperate- but it didn't work and I felt terrible. He finally went to sleep at 4:45 AM). So I am staying up and will wake him up pretty soon at like 9 or 10 am....hopefully I can stay awake until dark and then maybe he will go down then too.... : for me that will break the cycle!!!! I want to wake up in the mornings and go to bed at night!!!!!
(Sorry, OP, not trying to hijack your thread! Are you gonna tell us if your dh won or not?)

You just need to move to a different timezone...:LOL

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#22 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 09:21 PM
 
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That reminds me of a story. I was out for a walk and I ran into a really f#$ked up homeless guy in a wheelchair in an immense amount of pain from an open wound on his leg. I tried to convince him to go to the ER, but he wasn't having it, and I can't say I blamed him - the ER docs assume those guys are junkies and won't give them enough painkillers. So I asked him if there was anything else I could do, and of course he wants some booze, but he can't make it across the street to the liquor store. Now normally I'm not into enabling people to get drunk in public, but this guy was really hurting, and I figured if he got liquored up maybe he'd be willing to go to the hospital, or at least WASH. So I go across the street and buy him two things of rotgut - with my giant seven months pg belly sticking out. The liquor store guy gave me the WORST look. But it wasn't what it looked like!
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#23 of 35 Old 02-20-2005, 09:33 PM
 
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That must have been awful, sorry you had to hang out waiting whilt in pain. And what the heck, why do people feel they can comment on a situation like that? How would they feel if one of us nocturnal mommies cussed them out for cruelly getting their kids up at the crack of dawn, dragging them around town at an obscene hour like 8am?
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#24 of 35 Old 02-21-2005, 03:02 AM
 
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Mamamillie, my ds is the same way. He went to bed at 4:30 am last night, woke up at 11. We're both just wired that way, but my dp isn't. He's a morning man.

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#25 of 35 Old 02-21-2005, 03:48 AM
 
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Unless I see someone beating a child I tend not to mess.
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#26 of 35 Old 02-21-2005, 08:26 AM
 
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We get the late night comments too. People need to mind their own business!

Mama to a teen and tween
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#27 of 35 Old 02-21-2005, 11:08 AM
 
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bebesho -- you are going to look back on this an laugh! Someday. It *is* a funny picture to imagine. At least your kids were not unhappy, and thats what counts. I only find myself judging people for having their kids out late when their kids are clearly falling apart, and their parents keep pushing them. Ie. -- in my store at 9:30 at night with little kids sobbing and dead on their feet but still forcing them to try on jeans or smacking them around for not cooperating.
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#28 of 35 Old 02-21-2005, 02:00 PM
 
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just chiming in. ds has been outgrowing naps but occasionally he will fall asleep at like 4 PM. we dont let him "sleep all night" at that point or he would be up at 3 AM and start a sleep cycle that would ruin me! so if that happens we get him up at 5 or six. then he wants to stay up until at least 11pm, understandably. there are alot of reasons why kids stay up late. and even in a grocery store late at night , sometimes people are picking kids up from a sitter and need groceries for breakfast...the kids are tired the parent is tired...except for if they are being abusive, i agree people shouldnt think the parents are dragging the kids out out of neglect.
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#29 of 35 Old 02-21-2005, 02:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, I am not too upset over this all-I just saw what we looked like. And DD falling asleep against the wall-oh my! I take my kids down the shore in the summer (usually Wildwood, NJ) where they are happy to stay up the entire night! But kids are everywhere there anyway.

We are not a "bedtime" family and neither is my extended famiyl I go to Wildwood with. The whole bedtime thing is kinda foreign to me, although my parents DID try it and it was pure torture during the period the ydid!
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#30 of 35 Old 02-21-2005, 02:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Viola
My mom was all about this too! How many times have I heard, "When my children were little, they were always in bed by 6 o'clock." She thinks it's horrible that parents would let their children out of the house past 7. Now smoking around us and not breastfeeding us for more a couple weeks--not selfish at all--but keeping us up past 6? Well, you should have your head examined! :LOL

omg, viola, were we separated at birth?

hugs to the OP from me, too
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