She's actually a pain in the ass when she's around.
In a passiv-aggressive sort of way.
For example, Christmas. Now, I was too busy with the logistics of Christmas but my daughter and son-in-law were involved in this one. She was trying to force food on Julianna. Jen and Kev told her that dh and I didn't make food an issue (my oldest is almost 26 so she has been told this over and over again) but she kept nagging and trying to force Julianna to eat. Julianna finally asked me to be excused from the table (very politely I remember that part) and I said, "Yes" and that was that (Kev and Jen were irritated but Miss. Julianna discovered a perfectly socially acceptible way to get out from under Grandma's thumb. She started whining about her health (which Jennifer can't stand more than me because she's a med student and knows the woman's health issues lie largely between her ears) One time she called us at about 2am well-actually the police called us, because she was having a heart attack or something. We knew she was full of crap and, sure enough, we got a call from the hospital to pick her up at 4AM. She called my SIL and she just rolled over and fell back to sleep because it was obviously nothing to sil. But Dh and I stayed up half the night because we were so bugged she imposed herself on us (and sil) and the police and ambulance serivce. She has done this any number of times and it has never been a heart attack, I'm sure they'd find any heart disease because she's so often to the doctor (on the government dime)
She's very passive-aggressive. Another year the boys were using their Christmas stockings as socks and she told them to take them off and they said they were allowed to wear their stockings. She came to me and told me to make them stop and I told her they weren't doing anything wrong and she got all angry and said, "make them respect my authority" and I walked away because she had no legitimate authority. I know enough about what dh's life was like as a child to take her too seriously.
So, for the most part, I don't mind if she wallows alone in the broth of her own self-pity but I was irritated with her for not being more focused upon her granddaughter