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#1 of 6 Old 02-22-2005, 11:29 AM - Thread Starter
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My daughter was up this weekend.

She is a Marine and will be deploying to Iraq on Thursday so I threw a going away party for her on Sunday (we sent her back to base yesterday) and I invited all her friends and family.

DH called my MIL to invite her to the party and she said she couldn't come because she had the shingles.

Note: If she actually *had* the shingles I'd understand but she commonly uses some phantom health issue to not go to events to make people feel sorry for her. Usually I'm honestly relieved she isn't going to be there but this time pissed me off because, duh!, Jo's going to Iraq and could well be killed over there and this woman is so self focused that she couldn't drag her ass over to say good bye to her granddaughter.

I think that's what pisses me off about her she leeches off society and spends her time obcessing with her physical health at the expense of others around her.

DB
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#2 of 6 Old 02-22-2005, 11:33 AM
 
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I'm sorry Debra. Did your daughter miss having her there? Still thinking of you both.

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
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#3 of 6 Old 02-22-2005, 11:48 AM
 
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hugs Debra. It's easy to blow things like that off when it's abt yourself, but I can totally understand your hurt and frustration (and anger) when it involves your dd.
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#4 of 6 Old 02-22-2005, 12:16 PM
 
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It's her loss, let her live with it.
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#5 of 6 Old 02-22-2005, 12:28 PM - Thread Starter
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She's actually a pain in the ass when she's around.

In a passiv-aggressive sort of way.

For example, Christmas. Now, I was too busy with the logistics of Christmas but my daughter and son-in-law were involved in this one. She was trying to force food on Julianna. Jen and Kev told her that dh and I didn't make food an issue (my oldest is almost 26 so she has been told this over and over again) but she kept nagging and trying to force Julianna to eat. Julianna finally asked me to be excused from the table (very politely I remember that part) and I said, "Yes" and that was that (Kev and Jen were irritated but Miss. Julianna discovered a perfectly socially acceptible way to get out from under Grandma's thumb. She started whining about her health (which Jennifer can't stand more than me because she's a med student and knows the woman's health issues lie largely between her ears) One time she called us at about 2am well-actually the police called us, because she was having a heart attack or something. We knew she was full of crap and, sure enough, we got a call from the hospital to pick her up at 4AM. She called my SIL and she just rolled over and fell back to sleep because it was obviously nothing to sil. But Dh and I stayed up half the night because we were so bugged she imposed herself on us (and sil) and the police and ambulance serivce. She has done this any number of times and it has never been a heart attack, I'm sure they'd find any heart disease because she's so often to the doctor (on the government dime)

She's very passive-aggressive. Another year the boys were using their Christmas stockings as socks and she told them to take them off and they said they were allowed to wear their stockings. She came to me and told me to make them stop and I told her they weren't doing anything wrong and she got all angry and said, "make them respect my authority" and I walked away because she had no legitimate authority. I know enough about what dh's life was like as a child to take her too seriously.

So, for the most part, I don't mind if she wallows alone in the broth of her own self-pity but I was irritated with her for not being more focused upon her granddaughter
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#6 of 6 Old 02-22-2005, 04:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DebraBaker
My daughter ... is a Marine and will be deploying to Iraq on Thursday
your daughter is in my thoughts. i can't imagine what it will feel like for you till she comes home safe and sound. thank you for raising a child who has dedicated her self to defending American liberty.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DebraBaker
my MIL ... is so self focused that she couldn't drag her ass over to say good bye to her granddaughter.
i'm speechless.
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