Gossip annoys me. - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 8 Old 03-05-2005, 11:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I guess this is something of a vent. :

I am the kind of person who tries very hard not to say anything about you that I wouldn't say to you. It's just how I work. I am also pretty upfront and honest. I never strive to be rude or to hurt anyone's feelings, but I will tell it how I see it ya know? If I have a problem that is big enough for me to talk about I think I need to talk about it with the person I have the issue with... not everyone else around me. It's the only way I know how to be.

I have some people in my life (some are friends, some are just "people I know") that clearly do not work this way. They have problems with someone and rather than tell the person directly they just gossip about them behind their back to someone else (usually it's to someone the person being talked about knows too... all in the same circle of people pretty much) and it drives me freakin' crazy What's worse is they will often say things like, "but don't tell them I said anything."

Ive known most of these people for at least 5 years or better, and they know how I am with gossip (meaning that I think it's dumb, and hurtful) but I guess since we've been gone for a year they've forgotten a bit Also this is pretty much among people who consider each other to be friends, or at least they profess to liking each other. The whole thing just makes me want to but instead I just tell them all that if it's something they don't want the person to hear, then I don't want to hear it either. Goddess give me strength lol...

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#2 of 8 Old 03-05-2005, 11:28 PM
 
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People like that make me very, very, uncomfortable and I generally drift away from them....
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#3 of 8 Old 03-05-2005, 11:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I totally hear ya on the uncomfortable part lol. I'm hoping they get the message and cut it out because I'd really rather not have to drift away.

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#4 of 8 Old 03-06-2005, 12:42 AM
 
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I feel you, UnSchooln. I have the same perspective on it--if you cannot say it to their face, keep it to yourself.

sorry you have people in your life who do gossip. Is it something you can talk to them about? Something you can confront them? Or make it clear how much it bothers you?

I hope they do cut it out soon.

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#5 of 8 Old 03-06-2005, 12:46 AM
 
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If I had the ovaries, I would ask what everyone else is saying about me next time someone from the group gossiped to me.

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#6 of 8 Old 03-06-2005, 01:07 AM
 
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I don't like it either.

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#7 of 8 Old 03-06-2005, 04:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone! It's so good to know that I am not the only one who hates it Sometimes it feels that way. It suprises me that adults feel totally comfortable with doing it. My 11 year old doesn't even do it lol.

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#8 of 8 Old 03-06-2005, 05:13 AM
 
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UnschoolnMa, I'm totally with you. Thankfully, it's not a problem with my friends (or acquaintances).

I heard a cool thing on Oprah once. Some older ladies club, made everyone in the group follow 1 rule - no gossiping about each other. Some people just like to do it, but that rule helped nip it in the bud.

I don't know if you could that for your friends. You could try it with your tight friends... and hopefully, the others will learn by example (other friends not responding to it, giving * it * more energy for * it * to grow.)

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